Today's Adventures

I have been promising Emma, Abigail and their friend, Sydney, that I would take them to COSI for three weeks now.  Today was do or die day - we had to go.  I had told Sydney that we would be there to pick her up at 9:30am and as you may have guessed  from my more recent track record, we were not there at 9:30am.  However, we were only 15 minutes late so in my opinion it was fashionable! 

I decided before we even went that the three older girls could walk around by themselves since they all have cellphones. That and they are old enough to do so now.  The littles and I went to "Kidspace" to hang out in the area designated for their age group.  Upon entry they make you state your children's ages and give you a little slip of paper that you turn in when you exit.  On this paper it says how many adults and how many "big kids" and how many "little kids" are in your group.  If your child is going into first grade they are out casted into this little room with misc. toys and games.  While I was hanging out watching the girls play, I got on facebook from my new cellphone and caught up my calendar.  Then I got bored and I started thinking to myself, "What if I lose the slip of paper?, Will they let me have my kids?, What if I just took two other random kids?, How would they know? Could I get out of here with no kids at all?".  Thank goodness my ADD kicked in and I moved on to another obsessive thinking pattern - I didn't take Ibuprofen for my mouth today.  This line of thinking only came to surface because I realized I was in pain suddenly.  Luckily for me, they had a vending machine stocked with all kinds of handy things in it!  There were diapers, wipes, pads, tampons, Tyelonal, ADVIL, benadryl (just kidding) and some other things I can't remember.  I only cared about the Advil..  I put my $2.25 in for one packet of two pills - I would have paid $5.00.  I guess it was my lucky day because the machine mistakenly pushed out two packets!!!  JACKPOT! 

We met up with big girls, ate lunch and walked around for about another hour.  The girls' seemed satisfied with our field trip and I really wanted to make a pit stop at Sephora to get a new lipstick since mine was ruined somehow - my guess is Sarah's new pal.  We hit the mall and head towards home.

Now, I am going to be honest here and just tell you I have a very difficult time focusing when my kids talk to me. I tend to tune them out a great majority of the time.  It's not that I don't want to hear them, its just irritating listening to them get to the point.  By they time they get to their point I am making mental lists in my head about what I need to get accomplished that day or the next.  For some reason today I listened to these three girls talk about their future.  Apparently they are planning to all live together in a house, which Abigail is going to buy. Sydney will be responsible for all the other bills as well as cleaning said house.  Emma, well she just has to buy groceries and read in her room.  Sydney and Emma are going to be teachers. Abigail has higher aspirations - her plan is to own a store at Virginia Beach where she will  sell beach towels, hermit crabs and salt water taffy.  I am silently laughing to myself thinking how nice it must be to be a pre-teen. 

We stopped at Sonic for "Happy Hour" which consisted of 5 strawberry slushies and 1 cherry limeaide.  You figure out who's was who's.  Sarah must have had her pink dinosaur in the SUV with her because somehow her foam cup managed to bust right in the middle of the cup. Not cracked people - The entire circumference of this cup was fractured! As you might have guessed this had a chain reaction.  Sarah was now wearing her strawberry slushie. The only thing further I have to say about this is THANK GOD FOR LEATHER SEATS!  Oh and an honorable mention goes out to the Sephora bag that contained the cup.

Finally we drop Sydney off and come home.  I so badly wanted to take a nap but two things happened that kept me from being able to relax.  First I realized that my abscess tooth has really taken a toll on my house.  In other words, I have not been on the kids about picking up their belongings and I can tell they have thoroughly enjoyed this perk of my discomfort. Secondly, Sarah wasn't having it!

I called a meeting with Emma and Abigail about their responsibilities around this house.  You see I have a very complex system of earning things here.  Chores are done, chore bucks are earned which in turn gives them "perks".  One of those perks is cellphone ownership and I have found that this is a fabulous bargaining tool.  We sit at the table with the Chore buck ledger and go over what chores they have actually done in the past week, which turned out to be very few.  The lecture begins.  As I begin to explain how irritated I am about this and that Sarah starts piping in, "WE HAVE HAD IT! Haven't we Mommy? We have just had it!" I can't help but laugh at this point but none-the-less the chores need to get done.  I give them both a list of what they needed to do immediatly. 

I headed to the couch only to followed by Sarah, who is obviously not going to be a rocket scientist.  I laid down and every time I closed my eyes she would ask, "What are you doing Mommy?" to which I replied, "Resting".  This went on for five minutes. Obivioulsy this dreamy nap wasn't in the cards and I got up and started dinner. 

Shortly thereafter my Mom came to pick up all the girls to go VBS.  WOOHOO!!!! It's quite in here and I love it!  They will be home in an hour or so but I am going to enjoy it while I can.  Anyway, I tried (this is the operative word here) to show her my tattoo because what the hello kitty, she knows I got one (Thanks Emma!).  Do you know she wouldn't look at it?  I said, "Really?  Why do you hate them so much?"  She refused to answer and I am sorry to let my family down...I tried to get an answer but she nothing.  Well, that's not entirely true.  She did say, "You all know how I feel about them!".  Interesting because I thought me asking implied the question that I didn't.  Oh well, you win some you lose some.  I love my tattoo and that is what matters, right?

I started working on today's blog right after they left.  I am just typing away thinking, "Is anyone really gonna think this shit-zu is funny besides me?" when my cell phone chirps telling me I have a text.  It's one of my very good friends...she is having a crisis.  You see my friend (who will be called Vodka to protect her identity - only because I think the Captain needs a break from me) Vodka, by no choice of her own has had to go without  her favorite crackers for awhile.  There is nothing worse than loving a certain kind of cracker or anything for that matter and then they stop selling them where you shop.  You can go crazy trying to find those crackers...you look everywhere and can't find them. There is just no other cracker that satisfies you like that one.  Well Vodka saw a commercial for the crackers she so desires and now she can't stop thinking about those flippin' crackers.  She is going mad I tell you! It's all consuming and I know exaclty how she feels because they just put it right out there for you to see and then snatch it right up.  I am not sure that my advice was helpful because I am a little unconventional...I told her to just eat some crackers! Any cracker will do at this point.  If my original advice doesn't help her I don't know what will. I think my next suggestion will be for Vodka to plant her astronaut in the freezer like any decent vodka would!

So that's it for today..unless something earth shattering happens.  Oh wait, one last thing - I found out just moments ago that I own a fishing pole!  I didn't even know I liked fishing.  WOW! You learn something new everyday. I think I will call her "Ole Bessie"  I love her so.....

Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity