It turns out the money tree extended a branch to my checking account today - courtesy of the federal government. You see I am not lying when I say I am broke, you trying raising four girls and having any money. I am sorry to say, it just doesn't happen people!
I got onto my online banking to try and figure out where in the hello kitty I had misplaced $35.00. I look at my balance and notice that it is a lot more than I had written down in my checkbook. I notice it says in the memo area "FED GOVT". I am thinking to myself, "Why are the feds putting money into my account and how did they get my account number!?!" I call the bank and ask them if they can tell me more about this deposit and they tell me it was deposited by the FED GOVT - but the best part was she spelled it out for me, G.....O.....V.....T.... WOW! You are a rocket scientists! That is exactly what the online page says, thanks for your help. They then asked if there was anything else they could assist me with. I replied, "Yeah, don't take that money out of my account!"
In the meantime, I am telling Emma to get her stuff together for a birthday sleep over she was going to. I go to put Torros (scott's k9 work companion) in his room before I leave and discover that he had thrown up all over said room. Seriously Emma? You didn't notice this when you let him out earlier? The child is terminally lazy! I was not about to clean it up. Cleaning up dog vomit is just not in my list of household responsibilities. I put him back outside and drove over to our land to talk to Torros' father about this latest discovery. We get to the land and I tell Scott about the dog barf and he got all irritated that I didn't clean it up. Seriously? Has this man just moved in with me or what? I don't deal with our children's vomit let alone his dogs. After he got over me being a horrible dog Mom I asked him about the money. I really didn't want to tell him how much it was, why? I don't know - may be I wanted to buy some new shoes instead of paying bills - don't judge me! Of course, once I said there was some money deposited in our account from the FED GOVT (I didn't bother spelling it out for him) the very first words out of his mouth were, "How much?" It's none of your business mister! No, I begrudgingly told him the amount and he said it was a stop-loss payment from the Army. Case solved - The money is ours! WOOT WOOT! However, he all the sudden starts dreaming about what HE is going to spend this pot of gold on. The worst part is he said it out loud! Wood chipper, chain saw....Really? I think not. I hate to sound crass but we are broke and I am thinking bills, bills, beach trip in September with the girls. Just to be specific not "my" girls as in children but my sister, niece and girlfriends are going for a Labor Day beach trip and I have no money set aside. I gently informed him that he must be smoking crack if he thinks he's buying a wood chipper. A WOOD CHIPPER? It's beyond me! In the end, it was decided (by me) that I would get $300 for the beach, he would get $300 for whatever he wanted and the rest was going to bills. A wood chipper...I just can't get past it.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
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