As you may recall, I just wanted to enjoy Napday. It really is one of my very favorite days of the week. We get up, Baby Daddy makes a delicious breakfast, which takes a good hour and we consume the fixin's. Clearly this is very tiresome for me, the waiting, the indulging and before you know it, NAPTIME! I generally wake up and do something - productive or not and then most of the time will go ahead and take another nap. No, this does not effect my ability to sleep at night. I require lots of sleep - I mean HELLO??? You read my blog.....I need my rest. Now that we are all clear about my sleep needs, I had told Baby Daddy the dirt, told Jezebel Mother Teresa could come over later in the afternoon and hit the couch. Ahhhhhhhh so comfy and then "BAM" Jezebel comes to my side and says, "Ahab's Mom wants to come over RIGHT NOW!". Alright, this has gone way too far already! FINE! Tell her to come on over.......Y'all know at this point I am already done!
There it is, the knock on the door. Mother Teresa is standing there, arms crossed, mad as a hornet and poor Ahab, standing sheepishly behind her. Baby Daddy answered the door, as I was NOT at all happy about the interruption of my pre-imagined sleep cycles for the day. Baby Daddy opens the door and she follows into the kitchen area of our home. Ahab takes a slow turn to the right and onto the couch where Jezebel was sitting and waiting for the greatest show on earth!
I must stop right here and say, I do try my best to not be a judgmental person but I am human and the struggle is real my friends! I am pretty sure I have mentioned at some point, I had amazing parents. They did the best with my sister, brother and I as they possibly could - we, mostly they, were no walk in the park. We (THEY-hehehehe) were quite the rebellious creatures and for this, we owe our parents a debt of gratitude for allowing us to live. Our parents were pretty strict and we were grounded A LOT. Well, I can really only speak for myself since my brother and sister had moved out of the house by the time I was around 11 years old. I find it hard to believe our parents changed tactics once they left the nest; but now that I think about it, it does coincide with the onset of my imprisonment. I can say with the up most confidence, I was grounded, more often than not, from the moment I stepped foot into middle school until about the time I was a junior in high school - What can I say? I was a slow learner! Actually, as I grew a bit older, I learned to be way sneaker, more creative with tales about what I was going to be doing or where I was at (Nostalgia here: my best friend SUCKED at her tales) and my personal favorite - layering clothes to hide what I was really wearing. The skills I acquired from being grounded??? Quite frankly, limitless. For this reason, when I became a parent, I was determined to be different. I took all the best parts from my upbringing and instilled them into my baby birds when they were little and as they grew older, I began to try something different - I actually talked to my kids about what life may try to throw at them in middle school, high school, boys, alcohol, drugs and in general, life. I wanted for them, what I wished I had had as a child, which was parents who weren't afraid if they talked about things, things would happen. I hold not one ounce of ill will toward my parents, I truly believe this is just how their generation parented. All of this to say, Mother Teresa reminded me a lot of my parents and at some points in the following conversation you are about to read, I sorta felt like I was arguing with them.
And so it begins...
Mother Teresa, arms crossed, scowling at us from across the island and then she "I guess we have some talking to do?"
*Just to set the scene: The island is situated in the middle of the kitchen. She and I are standing across from one another and Baby Daddy is standing along one of the short sides*
Moi: "What exactly do you want to talk about" (sarcasm implied)
MT: "I guess you know what's been going on?"
Moi: "Sure do! Jezebel filled me in..."
MT: "I want to know what WE are going to do about it"
Moi: "I am not sure what you mean by WE but WE don't think it's that big of a deal"
MT: "Excuse me?"
Moi: "Yeah, WE certainly don't condone this behavior on Snapchat from Jezebel! Not sure why "WE" all need to do something"
MT: "I take this very seriously! This IS child pornography!"
Moi: "Whoa...whoa I think that is a bit of a stretch, don't you? *MT is shaking her heard head no* Furthermore, the only way it would possibly be considered child pornography is if YOUR son were to spread it around the Internet!"
MT: :::Insert The Peanuts Teacher Voice Here::::
*I forget what she said here actually said but I looked to Baby Daddy and this is where the story gets real funny.
B.D: First of all, the legal age of consent in Ohio is 16! So they could be having sex all day long and there is NOTHING YOU (he points to her) can do about it, NOTHING SHE (he points to me) can do about it and NOTHING I can do about it! Secondly, it is perfectly legal for any woman to walk around topless in the State of Ohio.
*Let's be clear here, Ahab's Mom did not see ANY picture because it was a conversation she read between them on "Snapchat" so whatever she imagined was in the picture in question, I can not say for sure. According to my sources; it wasn't even a full Monty shot! In other words, Jezebel may have been seductive but not like some Hustler centerfold. *WE* do not really know and quite honestly, if the worst thing she does is send a picture of herself wearing a bra, well alrighty then! Judge if you must but I was doing a lot worse at her age.
At this point I am so fired up, I can't even remember how badly I wanted to take a nap!
MT: I just do not agree with that and I can't believe that you two are okay with this! I have taken his phone and all his ability to get on the Internet...wahwahwahwaaaaaa
Moi: Welp, you know what? WE don't parent like you! I see no reason to take her phone because she drives to school, she drives to dance, and we do not snoop through our kids stuff!
MT: SO you are telling me that you are going to do nothing?
Moi: I look over at Jezebel and Ahab and say, "Jezebel? Are you completely and totally humiliated right now?" She replies, "YES!" I think ask, "Are you ever going to do something like this again?" She replies, "Probably not...............to Ahab!" (Okay, it was just one of those parenting moments where you want to laugh hysterically at your child and beat them to death at the same time) I turn back to Ahab's Mom and I said, "Well, there ya have it! I can't think of anything more embarrassing than having everyone know what you did and here we all are having a conversation about it....lesson learned!
At this point she has a stunned look and looks over to Ahab and tells him it's time to go....The boy follows his mother's orders and comes to where she is now standing. Things got kinda foggy for me at this point and I remember her saying something to the effect of how she does not trust her kids as far as she can throw them and we were naive to trust ours. Oh no she did NOT just question our parenting to our faces!
Baby Daddy, darts around the island and over to where she is standing and says to her, "If YOU do not trust YOUR kids, that is about your parenting not ours!" Again I sort of blacked out to their conversation because Ahab was mouthing to me "I am soooooo sorry" hahahahaha to which I responded loudly, "Don't apologize, this isn't your fault!"
The next thing you know, they are headed out the door and something moved me right behind them and out to my front porch. As they got into the car I exclaimed, "In the future, if you have an issue with my daughter, you come to me! Do NOT ever try to parent my daughter for me or question her about what goes on in our home because it is NOT your business!"
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and off they drove............
This is certainly not where this story ends and there is much more to tell but for now, I bid you farewell.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Moi: "Whoa...whoa I think that is a bit of a stretch, don't you? *MT is shaking her heard head no* Furthermore, the only way it would possibly be considered child pornography is if YOUR son were to spread it around the Internet!"
MT: :::Insert The Peanuts Teacher Voice Here::::
*I forget what she said here actually said but I looked to Baby Daddy and this is where the story gets real funny.
B.D: First of all, the legal age of consent in Ohio is 16! So they could be having sex all day long and there is NOTHING YOU (he points to her) can do about it, NOTHING SHE (he points to me) can do about it and NOTHING I can do about it! Secondly, it is perfectly legal for any woman to walk around topless in the State of Ohio.
*Let's be clear here, Ahab's Mom did not see ANY picture because it was a conversation she read between them on "Snapchat" so whatever she imagined was in the picture in question, I can not say for sure. According to my sources; it wasn't even a full Monty shot! In other words, Jezebel may have been seductive but not like some Hustler centerfold. *WE* do not really know and quite honestly, if the worst thing she does is send a picture of herself wearing a bra, well alrighty then! Judge if you must but I was doing a lot worse at her age.
At this point I am so fired up, I can't even remember how badly I wanted to take a nap!
MT: I just do not agree with that and I can't believe that you two are okay with this! I have taken his phone and all his ability to get on the Internet...wahwahwahwaaaaaa
Moi: Welp, you know what? WE don't parent like you! I see no reason to take her phone because she drives to school, she drives to dance, and we do not snoop through our kids stuff!
MT: SO you are telling me that you are going to do nothing?
Moi: I look over at Jezebel and Ahab and say, "Jezebel? Are you completely and totally humiliated right now?" She replies, "YES!" I think ask, "Are you ever going to do something like this again?" She replies, "Probably not...............to Ahab!" (Okay, it was just one of those parenting moments where you want to laugh hysterically at your child and beat them to death at the same time) I turn back to Ahab's Mom and I said, "Well, there ya have it! I can't think of anything more embarrassing than having everyone know what you did and here we all are having a conversation about it....lesson learned!
At this point she has a stunned look and looks over to Ahab and tells him it's time to go....The boy follows his mother's orders and comes to where she is now standing. Things got kinda foggy for me at this point and I remember her saying something to the effect of how she does not trust her kids as far as she can throw them and we were naive to trust ours. Oh no she did NOT just question our parenting to our faces!
Baby Daddy, darts around the island and over to where she is standing and says to her, "If YOU do not trust YOUR kids, that is about your parenting not ours!" Again I sort of blacked out to their conversation because Ahab was mouthing to me "I am soooooo sorry" hahahahaha to which I responded loudly, "Don't apologize, this isn't your fault!"
The next thing you know, they are headed out the door and something moved me right behind them and out to my front porch. As they got into the car I exclaimed, "In the future, if you have an issue with my daughter, you come to me! Do NOT ever try to parent my daughter for me or question her about what goes on in our home because it is NOT your business!"
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and off they drove............
This is certainly not where this story ends and there is much more to tell but for now, I bid you farewell.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
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