WARNING: THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG ONE!
Obviously I have been neglecting my responsibilities lately as a blogger. I would apologize but I am just too stressed out to care.I realize that everyone has stress now and again or for periods of time but right now, I feel like I can't catch a break in the stress department lately.
For starters, November 1st, I went to my mailbox to retrieve the mail and found an envelope from my renters. WOW! Could it be? Say it isn't so? They are paying their rent on time? It's an early Christmas miracle! I should have known it was too good to be true as they have only ever paid their rent on time once before, the month they moved in! I proceeded to open the envelope only to discover a 30 day notice stating that they would be vacating the premises by the end of the month. I immediately digress into panic mode. Holy crap! I don't have the money to pay the mortgage in December (I still don't) and crap we will also have to come up with the money to return their deposit right before Christmas - OH HOLY NIGHT!!!!
Being a un-organized planner, I quickly begin plotting out how I am going to handle this dreaded situation. First I think, okay may be we can get someone in there by December 1st and the whole matter would be resolved without issue. I was so convinced of this plan, I put the house on Craig's List a couple days after getting the 30 day notice. In the two weeks I had it listed I got three responses - new plan needed ASAP!
Next I thought, if this finding a new renter doesn't pan out, I could just use a portion of Scott's Christmas bonus check to pay the mortgage in December. Then I realized if I followed through with this particular idea, my kids would not have much under the tree this year. We are talking a candy cane and a lump of coal here people! And that's if they are having a four for the price of one sale on each of those items. I almost immediately decided against that preposterous idea!
Lastly, the money will fall into our laps, right? HA! I am still waiting for THAT miracle to pan out!
On the 23rd, we got a call from our renters' stating that they had locked the keys and the garage door opener in the house. The next day Scott and I make the trek over to our old house. We arrived with high hopes there would only be a few minor repairs and we could get the house rented by December 1st. With notebook and pen in hand, we entered the house.
There are no appropriate or legal words I can use in this blog to describe the anger and despair I felt when we started to walk through the house, making our list and checking it twice. Olivia and Sarah had come along with us and I was wishing that either I had left them at home or had packed a hazmat suit for them to wear. There is no other word to describe the state of the house other than filthy. I am not even sure that covers it. On the bright side, I am no longer worried about coming up with their deposit money! In fact, I now wish I had to return their deposit money. Five hundred dollars would have been a drop in the bucket compared to what it will cost our all ready broke selves to repair this home to a livable condition. I digress.....
I will be happy to see the month of November pass at midnight tonight! It has been a rough month. I have forgotten to pay several different bills (Remember, I am an un-organized planner! "Un-organized" being the keyword.). How do I know that I forgot to pay my trash collector, cable bill and Sam's Club account? Well these very friendly bill collectors called and gently reminded me that I should pay them or else...Ha!
My favorite call was from the people at Sam's Club. Actually, it was a company, that will remain nameless since I don't need any more trouble over in my neck of the woods! The company handles the "credit" accounts for Sam's Club. Actually, this would have been the company that handles the delinquent accounts for the second company. Anyway, the caller started out by informing me that my account was in arrears and that she was there to help me. "HELP ME?" Sister, people better than you have tried to "help" me and failed but whatever. I asked her exactly how she was going to help me out - "Are you going to erase what I owe?" I mean that would be extremely helpful in these economic times! All kidding aside, I pulled out that statement and informed her that I got a five page, front and back bill that states I didn't owe anything that month. Furthermore, I haven't received any other bill in two months AND I haven't been able to access my online account for at least three months! She informed me that I needed to call the credit company directly, not to be confused with Sam's Club - okay, you following all this? Before she let me go she asked if I wanted to go ahead and post-date a check to pay my bill for the next three months. Uh, that would be a no!
I call the credit card company and go through the lovely automated system for what seemed like an eternity before getting to "Mike". Immediately, I realize that this dude's name is no way, no how Mike. May be Peggy but not Mike - Have you seen that commercial? The conversation went like this:
"Mike": Can you verify your home phone number?
Me: stated my home phone number
"Mike": That is not the number we have listed Miss Downing.
Me: Well, then I don't know who's account you are looking at "Mike" because THAT is my number!
"Mike": Are you sure that you don't have another home number listed Miss Downing?
Me: Yes "MIKE"! That is the ONLY home number I have EVER had listed on this account!
"Mike": Are you sure that you don't have another home phone number listed Miss Downing?
Me: Mike, put me through to someone in the United States, RIGHT NOW!
My suspiscions were immediately confirmed....I was holding on the line to speak with a good old fashioned American! Hallelujah! Or may be not...
American: Hello? (Irritated before I begin to speak- Great!)
Me: Hi! I am calling in regards to my account and this non-sense that I am in arrears.
American: Did you call this number directly or were you transferred? (snotty tone)
Me: Transferred! I am just trying to figure out what is going on with my account (explained the situation)
American: Can you verify your home phone number?
Me: State my phone number - "sigh"
American: Ma'am that is not the home phone we have listed on your account!
Me: Really?Well, I am not sure WHAT number you have listed but I assure you this is my HOME PHONE!
American: We have that listed as your business number!
Me: Hmmmpf! Please change that, it's my home number and can we discuss my account now?
American: You are behind in payments!
Me: Well, I wouldn't be if I was getting correct statements - explained 5 pg front and back bill
American: Ma'am you have a balance on that account. How could you think you wouldn't have a payment?
Me: Uh, you sent me a bill that said I didn't have a payment this month! Not to mention that I haven't been able to get online to check my account for the past two months! Furthermore, if you got a bill that said you didn't have a payment due, you wouldn't pay it either.
American: The reason you haven't been able to access your account is because you reported your card lost or stolen in August. When you report your card lost/stolen we close off all access to anything on that account!
Me: Oh yeah, I did have to get a new card in August (you may recall the gas pump eating my card).
American: You needed to go in and register your new card to get access to any online services.
Me: Oh Really? Why didn't anyone tell me that I needed to do that? I mean, I had no idea that I needed to do that. I assumed you all would just change the account info in all the records.
American: Ma'am it is your responsibility as the consumer to handle that. I mean, we just assume that our customers are responsible borrowers and handle their credit in a proper manner.
***AT THIS POINT MY BLOOD IS BOILING AND I NEED TO EXIT SITUATION ASAP***
Me: Oh okay, I didn't realize that I needed telepathic abilities to have an account with your company! (what I wished I had said) What I really said was, "How much do I need to pay to be current if I pay something on Friday?" and "How much and when is the next payment due after that?"
American: Answered my question
Me: HANGIN UP!
See, I have no stress? What really gets me in this situation is why in the name of all things holy are all these companies sending their costumer service positions overseas? I didn't buy or borrow this item in India, albeit, it could have been made there! It is totally and completely frustrating!
As soon as I was done with this situation, I had a meeting a school with Abigail's teacher. I was very fearful about going because I might just blow a gasket and they'd call the police on me! The meeting went fine and we got a lot of stuff ironed out.
The stress just goes on and on....I got the other two calls today and I just paid one of them and the other I will pay on Friday. I am to the point of just not caring. What else can you do? You either have the brains and the money combined in order to pay the bill or you don't. If you don't you can rest assured someone will be there to remind you.
I don't know what's going to happen with the rental house but I have had several friends suggest burning the place down. I think they are on to something! In the meantime, I am sitting here catching up on my blogs, listening to my kids whine about everything under the sun to avoid going to bed and my husband is off at a cabin hanging out with friends and preparing to go deer hunting in the morning! Lucky him!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
What If They Are All Black Sheep?
You know how all families claim to have a black sheep? Well, I think there are families where every last one of them are "black sheep". "Where is this coming from?, "Who is she talking about?", you might be asking yourself now. Well I can't rightly say who I am talking about! I am trying to protect my own hide here people! Let's just say I have know these people for a good while, mmmmmkay? If we are being honest here, it is probably wrong of me to be so judgemental in this circumstance but I don't even care.
Let me begin this rambling by saying that I am all for family gatherings. I love seeing my extended family that I only get to see every once in awhile. The "every once in awhile" is what makes it so great to see them! I fear that if I saw them all, all the time I would take them for granted. I think part of the wonderful relationships I have/had with my Grandparents can be attributed to not seeing them all that often! When we do/did get to see them it was special and I like "special".
My Mom's family has a get-together once a year at Christmas time. More often than not I attend because I "enjoy" seeing them and our so-called black sheep's (and I believe my Mom's family has a few black sheep) do not generally show up. However, we enjoy when at least one of them shows up to give us something to chatter about later. Shoot, one of our black sheep's was on the show Wife Swap - now that was fun for my immediate family! In short, they miss you if you can't be there but they understand if you aren't. They do not gossip (as far as I know) or talk badly about you if you happen to not attend.
My Dad's family rarely, if ever get together for anything. In our/their defense, my Dad comes from a large family. I have so many cousins that I literally do not know even half of them! Shoot, I dont' even know how many cousins I have out their! I could be walking down the street right next to them and not know who the hello kitty they were! Although, the cousins I do know and/or have met over time, almost all have the same exact personalities - myself and siblings included! We are all very fun, loving, hyper-spaz, tell it like is, your best friend who will go to the ends of the earth for you IF you don't ever cross me and make me your worst enemy kinda people. It's just in our nature. And in this case, any cousin on this side of my family that isn't like that would be considered our black sheep.
Now, there is a group of people I know, who may or may not be related to myself and who shall remain nameless to protect myself, that are all a few fries short of a happy meal. How was that for a run-on sentence???? In other words, they are all black sheep in my book. I will go to any length to avoid having to attend a function with them. The truth is I just feel uncomfortable because I am pretty sure they all hate my guts. If I had to guess why, it would probably be due to the part of my a fore mentioned personality traits, "Tell it like it is" and "Don't cross me". You see, my friends, I am simply unable to keep my mouth shut if someone crosses me, tries to manipulate me or talks about me behind my back. I assure you, you are much better off to say something to my face rather than me hearing it second hand. You can ask around if you haven't experienced me..I can be downright brutal! That being said, I am also very patient/tolerant with the people I truly love. It literally takes the straw that breaks the camel's back to really get me going or if I am having a bad day and sometimes if I have PMS. It's a gamble, you just have to roll the dice and see where I am at!
At any given rate, some people who have overly tested my patience/tolerance and there is just no hope for them to get back on my good side. *Seriously, once you have used your given allotment of hall passes with me, I am done. It's brutal, I know but I am not going to be any one's doormat.
In conclusion and to the point; I think this group, with one big exception and may be a couple of others are in serious need of a sheep dog! That's all I wanted to say.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Let me begin this rambling by saying that I am all for family gatherings. I love seeing my extended family that I only get to see every once in awhile. The "every once in awhile" is what makes it so great to see them! I fear that if I saw them all, all the time I would take them for granted. I think part of the wonderful relationships I have/had with my Grandparents can be attributed to not seeing them all that often! When we do/did get to see them it was special and I like "special".
My Mom's family has a get-together once a year at Christmas time. More often than not I attend because I "enjoy" seeing them and our so-called black sheep's (and I believe my Mom's family has a few black sheep) do not generally show up. However, we enjoy when at least one of them shows up to give us something to chatter about later. Shoot, one of our black sheep's was on the show Wife Swap - now that was fun for my immediate family! In short, they miss you if you can't be there but they understand if you aren't. They do not gossip (as far as I know) or talk badly about you if you happen to not attend.
My Dad's family rarely, if ever get together for anything. In our/their defense, my Dad comes from a large family. I have so many cousins that I literally do not know even half of them! Shoot, I dont' even know how many cousins I have out their! I could be walking down the street right next to them and not know who the hello kitty they were! Although, the cousins I do know and/or have met over time, almost all have the same exact personalities - myself and siblings included! We are all very fun, loving, hyper-spaz, tell it like is, your best friend who will go to the ends of the earth for you IF you don't ever cross me and make me your worst enemy kinda people. It's just in our nature. And in this case, any cousin on this side of my family that isn't like that would be considered our black sheep.
Now, there is a group of people I know, who may or may not be related to myself and who shall remain nameless to protect myself, that are all a few fries short of a happy meal. How was that for a run-on sentence???? In other words, they are all black sheep in my book. I will go to any length to avoid having to attend a function with them. The truth is I just feel uncomfortable because I am pretty sure they all hate my guts. If I had to guess why, it would probably be due to the part of my a fore mentioned personality traits, "Tell it like it is" and "Don't cross me". You see, my friends, I am simply unable to keep my mouth shut if someone crosses me, tries to manipulate me or talks about me behind my back. I assure you, you are much better off to say something to my face rather than me hearing it second hand. You can ask around if you haven't experienced me..I can be downright brutal! That being said, I am also very patient/tolerant with the people I truly love. It literally takes the straw that breaks the camel's back to really get me going or if I am having a bad day and sometimes if I have PMS. It's a gamble, you just have to roll the dice and see where I am at!
At any given rate, some people who have overly tested my patience/tolerance and there is just no hope for them to get back on my good side. *Seriously, once you have used your given allotment of hall passes with me, I am done. It's brutal, I know but I am not going to be any one's doormat.
In conclusion and to the point; I think this group, with one big exception and may be a couple of others are in serious need of a sheep dog! That's all I wanted to say.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Preparation
My bestie and I are throwing a party here at my house next weekend in honor of tacky Christmas wear. We have spent a great deal of time over the past month or so tracking down some of the world's worst decorations ever! Quite honestly, it looks like Santa just spewed all over my house.
On the outside my house looks downright delightful, inside it is, well, not at all the way I would decorate it. Who knew that decorating in a tacky fashion would be so difficult? Not me, that's for sure! I fear that people who come to my house for the first time might think this is actually how I decorate for the holidays . I guess I don't care or I wouldn't have gone all out to supply such festive things from every thrift store on this side of the Ohio River.
I have spent weeks preparing my home and finding the perfect outfit to wear. It took me days on end to embellish my skirt to perfection! Now the real chore begins, getting and keeping the house clean before people come here to party!
Onto bigger things; Thanksgiving day was fabulous. I slept till 11:30am, got up and lolly gaged around the house till I got a call saying to hurry up and get to my parents' because dinner was almost ready. What the? It was only 12:30pm and we weren't supposed to eat till around 2:30ish! I jumped in the shower, got myself and the kids ready and drove to my parents'. We got there in the nick of time to eat. It was all yummy! I stuffed myself with all the fixins'. When I was sufficiently full I checked out the Black Friday ads and didn't really see anything that I had to have other than a Dyson vacuum, which was on sale 30% off. Alright, actually I didn't see the vacuum in the ads because for whatever reason that ad was missing from my parents' paper. I saw it online and decided I had to have it! I tried and tried to order it online but do to overload on the Lowe's website I couldn't get on their site forever and when I finally did, my cart kept disappearing.
I decided the one and only way I was going to get this coveted vacuum was to get my butt up at the crack of...wait I can't even say the butt crack of dawn! I had to get up before daylight to get it. Abigail wanted to come with me so we got up at 4am and headed out. We arrived in a timely fashion, much to my amazement, got a Dyson and a few other non-essential items. Now, I really wanted a certain Dyson but it wasn't available - go figure! I had to get the next model up. Funny thing is, I got a better model Dyson and it cost me less than the one I went for. How? Well, I used my military I.D. to score an extra 10% off. WOOT WOOT!
After we were done at Lowe's, we came home and spotted Marc and Natalie heading out for their shopping excursion. I told them of my good deals and they invited us to tag along with them. Abigail and I loaded up in their truck and went to a few stores with them.
Later that morning Abigail had a doctor's appointment and then we made our way over to the police substation to pick up Scott's Christmas bonus check. Hit the bank and hit a few more stores. I loaded up on bean juice and still found the energy to go out on the town with my bestie that night! We had a great time and ran into one of our other friends, Jennifer, when we landed at our favorite Mom's Night Out spot!
That is what I did last week in a nutshell. More to come later...
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
On the outside my house looks downright delightful, inside it is, well, not at all the way I would decorate it. Who knew that decorating in a tacky fashion would be so difficult? Not me, that's for sure! I fear that people who come to my house for the first time might think this is actually how I decorate for the holidays . I guess I don't care or I wouldn't have gone all out to supply such festive things from every thrift store on this side of the Ohio River.
I have spent weeks preparing my home and finding the perfect outfit to wear. It took me days on end to embellish my skirt to perfection! Now the real chore begins, getting and keeping the house clean before people come here to party!
Onto bigger things; Thanksgiving day was fabulous. I slept till 11:30am, got up and lolly gaged around the house till I got a call saying to hurry up and get to my parents' because dinner was almost ready. What the? It was only 12:30pm and we weren't supposed to eat till around 2:30ish! I jumped in the shower, got myself and the kids ready and drove to my parents'. We got there in the nick of time to eat. It was all yummy! I stuffed myself with all the fixins'. When I was sufficiently full I checked out the Black Friday ads and didn't really see anything that I had to have other than a Dyson vacuum, which was on sale 30% off. Alright, actually I didn't see the vacuum in the ads because for whatever reason that ad was missing from my parents' paper. I saw it online and decided I had to have it! I tried and tried to order it online but do to overload on the Lowe's website I couldn't get on their site forever and when I finally did, my cart kept disappearing.
I decided the one and only way I was going to get this coveted vacuum was to get my butt up at the crack of...wait I can't even say the butt crack of dawn! I had to get up before daylight to get it. Abigail wanted to come with me so we got up at 4am and headed out. We arrived in a timely fashion, much to my amazement, got a Dyson and a few other non-essential items. Now, I really wanted a certain Dyson but it wasn't available - go figure! I had to get the next model up. Funny thing is, I got a better model Dyson and it cost me less than the one I went for. How? Well, I used my military I.D. to score an extra 10% off. WOOT WOOT!
After we were done at Lowe's, we came home and spotted Marc and Natalie heading out for their shopping excursion. I told them of my good deals and they invited us to tag along with them. Abigail and I loaded up in their truck and went to a few stores with them.
Later that morning Abigail had a doctor's appointment and then we made our way over to the police substation to pick up Scott's Christmas bonus check. Hit the bank and hit a few more stores. I loaded up on bean juice and still found the energy to go out on the town with my bestie that night! We had a great time and ran into one of our other friends, Jennifer, when we landed at our favorite Mom's Night Out spot!
That is what I did last week in a nutshell. More to come later...
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Monday, November 15, 2010
What's Been Going On
Nothing exciting has been going on, that's fo rizzle! I mean the most exciting thing I have to report right now is that as I was raping my coin jar to score some much needed cash, I sat in dog pee on my rug.
I don't know how it happens or where the money goes but lately I am always broke! I think it has to do with the kids and their constant need for everything - including medical attention. In the past two weeks, everyone except me has been sick. Actually, I had a small version of their colds but as you might well know, Mom's aren't allowed to get sick! I have spent obscene amounts of money on various cold remedies only to have them fail or the kids will refuse to take them because they are the wrong flavor. Are you kidding me? Just take the damn medicine! When I was a kid we had orange and occasionally a grape or cherry flavor - none of this, fruit punch, tropical punch, bubble gum and so on. Of course, Emma and Abigail can take adult medicine now but their symptoms were different so the medicine had to be different. Then there were Vick's Scented Puffs, prescriptions for a variety of ailments, I had two doctors' appointments, Emma and Olivia both had appointments, Those appointments alone set us back $60.00! When you add in the all the prescriptions and misc. efforts at treatment for what ails all of them, the grand total was over $200.00!
I also bought each of the kids a few fall clothing items. Despite how they like to run around naked half of the time, at times they have to wear clothes. Olivia and Sarah's clothes are pretty inexpensive in the grand scheme of things. Emma's are so-so on the price scale because she can still wear some kid sizes. Abigail on the other hand, her clothes are outrageous! The worst part is that they aren't even in to labels yet! How will I ever afford the "in" stuff if they want it? I guess they will just have to learn to love what I can afford, right? The other problem is that since Abigail is in juniors now, the clothes are more expensive and she doesn't think it's fair when Emma gets two pair of pants and she only gets one. I have tried to explain to her that Emma's are always a "two for deal" which always comes out cheaper than one pair for her. She will just have to deal with it for now because it won't be long when they are both screwed!
Scott and I had parent teacher conferences last week. I can honestly say, I wish all school conferences were like a kindergarten one. "Oh look Mr and Mrs Downing! What beautiful flowers Olivia can draw!" WOOT WOOT! Yup, you walk out feeling like you are the perfect parent. However, middle school conferences feel more like the Spanish Inquistiion! Seriously, as soon as we walked into the classroom I all ready felt like I was in trouble. There were seven teachers all sitting in school desks in a circle with two empty desks for parents. Scott and I sat in our "assigned" seats and then the conference started. I knew I was in trouble immediately. You see it turns out that one of my children has not been doing any of her homework, blew off a project and obviously has not been applying herself. Somehow, the responsibility for her lack of work ethic is my fault. Let me further explain the conversation.
Mrs X: Are you checking her agenda book everyday?
Me: Ummmm...she has an agenda book?
Mrs X: Well you ARE getting the email reminders we send out, AREN'T YOU?
Scott: Uhhhh I dont' even know how to get on my email!
I am sitting in my assigned seat thinking, "Oh Shit! Say something brilliant Krissy....say something!!!". And it was apparent to me that my husband was not helping out the situation.
Me: You know, I really have been trying to encourage independence in my children this year. I want them to have the opportunity to be responsible for their own work (which I have no doubt translated into I am a lazy Mother) Obviously, it was a mistake to let Child 46b12V8 be responsible for her own work. We will go home and beat her little ass for embarrassing the hell out of us. You should see a turn around in her work ethic immediately. Oh and in regards to the emails, I have received them but I don't always get on my email daily so most of the time, the event has all ready passed. They just all stared at me like I was an idiot. Why aren't they looking at Scott??? Geesh!
Anyway, parenting is so much fun.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
I don't know how it happens or where the money goes but lately I am always broke! I think it has to do with the kids and their constant need for everything - including medical attention. In the past two weeks, everyone except me has been sick. Actually, I had a small version of their colds but as you might well know, Mom's aren't allowed to get sick! I have spent obscene amounts of money on various cold remedies only to have them fail or the kids will refuse to take them because they are the wrong flavor. Are you kidding me? Just take the damn medicine! When I was a kid we had orange and occasionally a grape or cherry flavor - none of this, fruit punch, tropical punch, bubble gum and so on. Of course, Emma and Abigail can take adult medicine now but their symptoms were different so the medicine had to be different. Then there were Vick's Scented Puffs, prescriptions for a variety of ailments, I had two doctors' appointments, Emma and Olivia both had appointments, Those appointments alone set us back $60.00! When you add in the all the prescriptions and misc. efforts at treatment for what ails all of them, the grand total was over $200.00!
I also bought each of the kids a few fall clothing items. Despite how they like to run around naked half of the time, at times they have to wear clothes. Olivia and Sarah's clothes are pretty inexpensive in the grand scheme of things. Emma's are so-so on the price scale because she can still wear some kid sizes. Abigail on the other hand, her clothes are outrageous! The worst part is that they aren't even in to labels yet! How will I ever afford the "in" stuff if they want it? I guess they will just have to learn to love what I can afford, right? The other problem is that since Abigail is in juniors now, the clothes are more expensive and she doesn't think it's fair when Emma gets two pair of pants and she only gets one. I have tried to explain to her that Emma's are always a "two for deal" which always comes out cheaper than one pair for her. She will just have to deal with it for now because it won't be long when they are both screwed!
Scott and I had parent teacher conferences last week. I can honestly say, I wish all school conferences were like a kindergarten one. "Oh look Mr and Mrs Downing! What beautiful flowers Olivia can draw!" WOOT WOOT! Yup, you walk out feeling like you are the perfect parent. However, middle school conferences feel more like the Spanish Inquistiion! Seriously, as soon as we walked into the classroom I all ready felt like I was in trouble. There were seven teachers all sitting in school desks in a circle with two empty desks for parents. Scott and I sat in our "assigned" seats and then the conference started. I knew I was in trouble immediately. You see it turns out that one of my children has not been doing any of her homework, blew off a project and obviously has not been applying herself. Somehow, the responsibility for her lack of work ethic is my fault. Let me further explain the conversation.
Mrs X: Are you checking her agenda book everyday?
Me: Ummmm...she has an agenda book?
Mrs X: Well you ARE getting the email reminders we send out, AREN'T YOU?
Scott: Uhhhh I dont' even know how to get on my email!
I am sitting in my assigned seat thinking, "Oh Shit! Say something brilliant Krissy....say something!!!". And it was apparent to me that my husband was not helping out the situation.
Me: You know, I really have been trying to encourage independence in my children this year. I want them to have the opportunity to be responsible for their own work (which I have no doubt translated into I am a lazy Mother) Obviously, it was a mistake to let Child 46b12V8 be responsible for her own work. We will go home and beat her little ass for embarrassing the hell out of us. You should see a turn around in her work ethic immediately. Oh and in regards to the emails, I have received them but I don't always get on my email daily so most of the time, the event has all ready passed. They just all stared at me like I was an idiot. Why aren't they looking at Scott??? Geesh!
Anyway, parenting is so much fun.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
What's Been Going On....Going on....
I know I haven't been around much lately and for that I apologize. Things have been, well, crazy. What else would you expect from the Queen of Insanity? I should hope nothing less than insane!
Honestly, can't really say there has been anything thrilling going on in my life. Most of what's been going on has just been day to day mundane. I have been running kids to dance classes, soccer (which is FINALLY over), dr's appointments for them and myself and sewing like a crazy fool.
On a more exciting note, I flipped my lid on Olivia and Sarahs' playroom. You see I was pushed over the edge by the recent mutilation of some of my belongings. First of all, Olivia was kicking a big ball in my living room. As you can imagine this is never and I do mean NEVER a good thing indoors. What made her think this was a good idea? I will never know. Balls are strictly to be dropped or rolled indoors - Period! Olivia must have felt this rule was worth breaking and chose to kick the ball. This lead to one of my precious angels being knocked off of the fireplace mantel and crashing to an excruciating death by tile. Was I mad? You can be the judge of that. Olivia apparently realized I was and became the most docile child in the world. She avoided me like the black plague. I couldn't even speak I was so upset!
A few days later, I went down to the basement to let Torros out. As I walked down the steps, I noticed that something wasn't right with my antique pie safe. Something was missing! Oh something was missing all right! A piece of one of the doors was completely torn off. How did this happen? Do these children have super human strengths that I am unaware of? Lucky for these precious gifts from God, they were all ready fast asleep in their beds or they would have been killed on site. Okay an over-exaggeration but I was less that happy about this discovery. I made a rapid decision that tomorrow they would no longer have a playroom.
The next day I woke up and got them all off to school. When I was home from dropping off Sarah and Emily, Operation Toy Dump began. I packed up everything that was in the playroom! Then I went to their bedrooms and got rid of even more toys. Now all they have left is a couple of baby dolls, baby doll accessories, a stroller and each of them have a dollhouse. We are done with the toy store atmosphere in this home. When they came home to discover the toys were gone, they didn't even care. Olivia only cared that she got to keep a baby. I explained to them that if they couldn't respect my belongings or theirs they wouldn't have any. It was much like a lecture we might have gotten as children, "Children in China are starving!". Since Operation Toy Dump, life has been a lot simpler, no longer do I have to lecture about picking up toys. It is better than wonderful! Emma and Abigail were also excited about the toys disappearing until I told them that the same would happen to their belongings if they didn't step up to the plate and take care of their stuff.
It's a process people.....
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Honestly, can't really say there has been anything thrilling going on in my life. Most of what's been going on has just been day to day mundane. I have been running kids to dance classes, soccer (which is FINALLY over), dr's appointments for them and myself and sewing like a crazy fool.
On a more exciting note, I flipped my lid on Olivia and Sarahs' playroom. You see I was pushed over the edge by the recent mutilation of some of my belongings. First of all, Olivia was kicking a big ball in my living room. As you can imagine this is never and I do mean NEVER a good thing indoors. What made her think this was a good idea? I will never know. Balls are strictly to be dropped or rolled indoors - Period! Olivia must have felt this rule was worth breaking and chose to kick the ball. This lead to one of my precious angels being knocked off of the fireplace mantel and crashing to an excruciating death by tile. Was I mad? You can be the judge of that. Olivia apparently realized I was and became the most docile child in the world. She avoided me like the black plague. I couldn't even speak I was so upset!
A few days later, I went down to the basement to let Torros out. As I walked down the steps, I noticed that something wasn't right with my antique pie safe. Something was missing! Oh something was missing all right! A piece of one of the doors was completely torn off. How did this happen? Do these children have super human strengths that I am unaware of? Lucky for these precious gifts from God, they were all ready fast asleep in their beds or they would have been killed on site. Okay an over-exaggeration but I was less that happy about this discovery. I made a rapid decision that tomorrow they would no longer have a playroom.
The next day I woke up and got them all off to school. When I was home from dropping off Sarah and Emily, Operation Toy Dump began. I packed up everything that was in the playroom! Then I went to their bedrooms and got rid of even more toys. Now all they have left is a couple of baby dolls, baby doll accessories, a stroller and each of them have a dollhouse. We are done with the toy store atmosphere in this home. When they came home to discover the toys were gone, they didn't even care. Olivia only cared that she got to keep a baby. I explained to them that if they couldn't respect my belongings or theirs they wouldn't have any. It was much like a lecture we might have gotten as children, "Children in China are starving!". Since Operation Toy Dump, life has been a lot simpler, no longer do I have to lecture about picking up toys. It is better than wonderful! Emma and Abigail were also excited about the toys disappearing until I told them that the same would happen to their belongings if they didn't step up to the plate and take care of their stuff.
It's a process people.....
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Now For The Rest of The Story.....
As I stated in my second to last blog, I walked out to the patio of the bar to find Tammy, Jessica and Wil (Jessie's ex-boyfriend). Wil stated that he nearly killed my sister. Now you are all caught up and I can go on with my story.
Apparently, Wil had gotten excited to see Tammy (I can understand that) and in his excitement, picked her up to give her a bear hug. After he picked her up for this loving gesture, he lost his balance and they both hit the ground, only Tammy didn't just hit the ground, Tammy hit her head on this concrete curb. I jumped into my Dr. Mom mode and assessed her situation. She had a goose egg on her head. This is good....yes very good! Her eyes looked fine and she didn't feel sick to her stomach. All good signs people! She decided that she wanted to walk around a bit. We walked around a bit, feeling old and a decrepit in this bar that is obviously not meant for anyone over the age of 23. Since I am such an old fart, it hit me that I had to use the powder room. Tammy and I make our way to the bathroom. I couldn't help but notice that there was a line outside of the men's room and not the ladies - very interesting but off topic here. I left Tammy unattended for a few minutes while I used the restroom and when I came out, she was gone! Oh crap! I rush around looking for her and to be honest, she shouldn't have been hard to find since clearly we were outsiders in this establishment! I went back to the table where Jessica and Wil were sitting only to discover she is not there! Jessie starts panicking and questioning me about her Mom's where-abouts. Then I felt like I should be panicked but before I could go into full swing panic mode, I hear Tammy calling my name. PRAISE THE LORD!!!! Crisis overted. She had gone outside the fence line to get some "fresh" air. I went out to where she was sitting willingly because I knew that I wouldn't have to dig for my I.D. to get back in. She had decided that she wanted to go home with me instead of ruining Jessie's evening.
Tammy and I walked back to where I had parked and began the trek back to my house. We were about a quarter of the way home when Tammy's cellphone rang. It was Jessie. Great news people! Tammy had Jessica's keys in her purse. Of course we were not in an area that no one should exit on in the wee hours of the night but for the sake of Jessie, we exited. Here we are in the ghetto of Columbus and we are both thirsty. We spot a McDonald's and head to the drive-thru. I got a Frappuccino and Tammy got a coffee and a cup of ice water. I decide to ask these lovely McDonald's employees if they happen to have an ice pack for Tammy's head wound. Uh, umm, yeah they didn't have one. I asked if they had a first aid kit that they could check and they told me no. NO? Are you kidding me? Seriously, this has to be some kind of code violation. Since they didn't have an ice pack, they gave us a plastic bag and a cup of ice - good enough. Back on the freeway, unscathed by the dangers of Livingston after dark, we headed back to Brother's.
By now the bars have all closed and there are youngins' everywhere! Not to mention the police presence - luckily we are mature adults and above suspicion as we cruise down the road looking for our sweet little Jessica. Finally we find her and give her her keys. Tammy has decided that instead of staying at my house or Jessie's for the night, she is going to drive on home. We locate Jessica's car so Tammy can retrieve her keys and other belongings. But wait! Tammy's car is not here, it is at Jessie's which is on campus. Off to
OSU campus to drop Tammy off and she can be on her way back to Lancaster and I can get back to P-Town.
Yes my friends, I did the Tour De Columbus this particular night. It was fun, exciting and exhausting all at the same time!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Apparently, Wil had gotten excited to see Tammy (I can understand that) and in his excitement, picked her up to give her a bear hug. After he picked her up for this loving gesture, he lost his balance and they both hit the ground, only Tammy didn't just hit the ground, Tammy hit her head on this concrete curb. I jumped into my Dr. Mom mode and assessed her situation. She had a goose egg on her head. This is good....yes very good! Her eyes looked fine and she didn't feel sick to her stomach. All good signs people! She decided that she wanted to walk around a bit. We walked around a bit, feeling old and a decrepit in this bar that is obviously not meant for anyone over the age of 23. Since I am such an old fart, it hit me that I had to use the powder room. Tammy and I make our way to the bathroom. I couldn't help but notice that there was a line outside of the men's room and not the ladies - very interesting but off topic here. I left Tammy unattended for a few minutes while I used the restroom and when I came out, she was gone! Oh crap! I rush around looking for her and to be honest, she shouldn't have been hard to find since clearly we were outsiders in this establishment! I went back to the table where Jessica and Wil were sitting only to discover she is not there! Jessie starts panicking and questioning me about her Mom's where-abouts. Then I felt like I should be panicked but before I could go into full swing panic mode, I hear Tammy calling my name. PRAISE THE LORD!!!! Crisis overted. She had gone outside the fence line to get some "fresh" air. I went out to where she was sitting willingly because I knew that I wouldn't have to dig for my I.D. to get back in. She had decided that she wanted to go home with me instead of ruining Jessie's evening.
Tammy and I walked back to where I had parked and began the trek back to my house. We were about a quarter of the way home when Tammy's cellphone rang. It was Jessie. Great news people! Tammy had Jessica's keys in her purse. Of course we were not in an area that no one should exit on in the wee hours of the night but for the sake of Jessie, we exited. Here we are in the ghetto of Columbus and we are both thirsty. We spot a McDonald's and head to the drive-thru. I got a Frappuccino and Tammy got a coffee and a cup of ice water. I decide to ask these lovely McDonald's employees if they happen to have an ice pack for Tammy's head wound. Uh, umm, yeah they didn't have one. I asked if they had a first aid kit that they could check and they told me no. NO? Are you kidding me? Seriously, this has to be some kind of code violation. Since they didn't have an ice pack, they gave us a plastic bag and a cup of ice - good enough. Back on the freeway, unscathed by the dangers of Livingston after dark, we headed back to Brother's.
By now the bars have all closed and there are youngins' everywhere! Not to mention the police presence - luckily we are mature adults and above suspicion as we cruise down the road looking for our sweet little Jessica. Finally we find her and give her her keys. Tammy has decided that instead of staying at my house or Jessie's for the night, she is going to drive on home. We locate Jessica's car so Tammy can retrieve her keys and other belongings. But wait! Tammy's car is not here, it is at Jessie's which is on campus. Off to
OSU campus to drop Tammy off and she can be on her way back to Lancaster and I can get back to P-Town.
Yes my friends, I did the Tour De Columbus this particular night. It was fun, exciting and exhausting all at the same time!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Woops
I started updating my blog today and then had to go. Instead of saving my blog to finish later, I published it. Woops! I will finish it tomorrow when I have recovered from today's events (which I will be blogging about as well).
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Drag This and Other Misc. Activities
As you may or may not know, I recently went out to a bar called "Axis". This bar is catered to the gay male population. It was a lot of fun! The reason we (Tammy and myself) went to this establishment was because we recently discovered some new cousins. One of those cousin's is Steven AKA: Fressia Balls. I really wish Michelle could have gone with us because I think she is one who would have really appreciated his stage name. Michelle cracks up at anything related to the word "balls"! She just can't help herself.
Freesia Balls is a Drag Queen, not just any ole Drag Queen but our cousin. Now you can imagine how excited I was to find out that someone else in my family was a queen of any kind. Everyone in my house knows I am the queen of everything here!
Here was my evening, I call it "Tour De Columbus". First our group met at a resteraunt in German Village where we had a lovely late dinner. When we were finished eating we left there and headed on over to Axis. Jennifer and her friend Krista came with me so that we could save on parking. We get there not knowing who the hello kitty we are looking for but can't wait to see the show. If you have never been to a Drag show, OMG, you must do it at some point! Not only was it hysterical, it was very entertaining! I couldn't help but crack up at their recorded entertainment inbetween sets. There was one that was a video about M.E.T.H. parties. Hysterical! Monsters For The Ethical Treatment of Humans. They went on and on about going to METH parties in the video. Their costumes were fabulous and as much as I hate to admit it, I was super jealous that these dudes dressed like ladies could not only walk but dance in high heels!
The show was great! When it was almost over I found one of the prop guys and asked him if he could point Steven out to me. He told me her stage name and showed me which one she was. I went to locate Tammy and tell her what I had found out. She wasn't where I left her, nope, she was down front, center stage! Jessica was on the side wall, laughing and shaking her head. So I waited for the show to be over and made my way over to say hello to Freesia Balls.
Soon after, we left and I took Laura back to her car - 4 million blocks away from Axis. I then drove Jennifer, Krista and Natalie back to German Village to pick up Jennifer's car so they could head home. I was going to go on home myself but Tammy really wanted me to meet her and Jessica at Brothers. I caved and went on over. I had to pay to park AGAIN and then walk AGAIN to the bar, where Tammy and I were definitely considered ancient.
As I approached Brothers, I noticed the police flashing their flashlights into the fence line around the patio. I then happened to notice my niece, Jessica, picking up my sister's glasses. What the???? Seriously, I am a little freaked out wondering why her glasses were on the ground so I got in the line to be carded to get in. When I got up to the doorman, I asked him if he seriously needed to see my I.D., he laughed and let me in. Really? You can't even try to pretend to think I am young and hip? WOW! I am now in the bar, I go quickly to the patio and find Jessica and Tammy. As I get closer to them I notice Jessica's high school boyfriend sitting there and go to give him a hug. He starts telling me, "I nearly killed your sister!" WHAT?
Freesia Balls is a Drag Queen, not just any ole Drag Queen but our cousin. Now you can imagine how excited I was to find out that someone else in my family was a queen of any kind. Everyone in my house knows I am the queen of everything here!
Here was my evening, I call it "Tour De Columbus". First our group met at a resteraunt in German Village where we had a lovely late dinner. When we were finished eating we left there and headed on over to Axis. Jennifer and her friend Krista came with me so that we could save on parking. We get there not knowing who the hello kitty we are looking for but can't wait to see the show. If you have never been to a Drag show, OMG, you must do it at some point! Not only was it hysterical, it was very entertaining! I couldn't help but crack up at their recorded entertainment inbetween sets. There was one that was a video about M.E.T.H. parties. Hysterical! Monsters For The Ethical Treatment of Humans. They went on and on about going to METH parties in the video. Their costumes were fabulous and as much as I hate to admit it, I was super jealous that these dudes dressed like ladies could not only walk but dance in high heels!
The show was great! When it was almost over I found one of the prop guys and asked him if he could point Steven out to me. He told me her stage name and showed me which one she was. I went to locate Tammy and tell her what I had found out. She wasn't where I left her, nope, she was down front, center stage! Jessica was on the side wall, laughing and shaking her head. So I waited for the show to be over and made my way over to say hello to Freesia Balls.
Soon after, we left and I took Laura back to her car - 4 million blocks away from Axis. I then drove Jennifer, Krista and Natalie back to German Village to pick up Jennifer's car so they could head home. I was going to go on home myself but Tammy really wanted me to meet her and Jessica at Brothers. I caved and went on over. I had to pay to park AGAIN and then walk AGAIN to the bar, where Tammy and I were definitely considered ancient.
As I approached Brothers, I noticed the police flashing their flashlights into the fence line around the patio. I then happened to notice my niece, Jessica, picking up my sister's glasses. What the???? Seriously, I am a little freaked out wondering why her glasses were on the ground so I got in the line to be carded to get in. When I got up to the doorman, I asked him if he seriously needed to see my I.D., he laughed and let me in. Really? You can't even try to pretend to think I am young and hip? WOW! I am now in the bar, I go quickly to the patio and find Jessica and Tammy. As I get closer to them I notice Jessica's high school boyfriend sitting there and go to give him a hug. He starts telling me, "I nearly killed your sister!" WHAT?
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