This whole idea that when we die we are either going to heaven or hell has me confused. Why does this confuse me? Well, I am about to tell you.
In the past couple of months alone my cousin's son committed suicide, my Grandma passed away, we had to put Scott's K9 partner down, one of my friends had to put her dog down, I was in a car accident, my little kids waged a crayon and marker war on a new bed set, Scott's new K9, Mira, and our personal pet, Lilly, had a literal pissing match all over the house and I think that is about the sum of it. I am sure there is more but that is all I can recall at this time.
As I sit here and think of it all, I think "Could there be a hell worse than the trials of life?". Burning for all eternity doesn't seem like such a bad thing overall. For one thing, we are made of flesh and bone and it seems to me that you could only burn up once. Secondly, if it's just hot as - well normally one would say "hell" there - if it's just incredibly hot, wouldn't our bodies eventually acclimate to the heat? Last but definitely not least, Won't all of my friends be there?
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Blog, blog, bloggity blog
Dear Readers,
I am very sorry for the lack of blogging as of late. It's not that I haven't wanted to blog for you, honest! Blogging simply not been at the top of my priority list. Please don't be upset or count my blog out just yet. I am sure there are more great blogs to come.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
I am very sorry for the lack of blogging as of late. It's not that I haven't wanted to blog for you, honest! Blogging simply not been at the top of my priority list. Please don't be upset or count my blog out just yet. I am sure there are more great blogs to come.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Randomosity
Is Randomosity actually a word or did I just make that up? Either way, my blog is going to be random shit that has happened in my life since my last post.
I have gained like a million pounds over the past year. Okay, may be more like 10,000 but non-the-less, I am probably the fattest I have ever been outside of pregnancy. Which I might, pregnant is almost exactly what I resemble lately. I am happy to report that is NOT the case. I can't decide why I keep getting fatter and fatter but I know one thing is for sure, I have become super lazy.
Now some people would argue with me, siting that I run around all the time. They would be correct, I am always running around! However, my ass is always sitting down while I drive from place to place, dropping a kid here, dropping a kid there, picking one kid up, then another and another and so on. By the time I have a chance to relax, I sit my ass on the couch where I unwind from all that running. Quite honestly, I need to think of a catch phrase for this motherly phenomenon! Let's think some up right now, shall we?
1. Soccer Mom Assitis
2. Spectator Plumping
3. Car seat spreadation
That's all I got for now. I really have no excuse to be as lazy as I am. I have 7.5 hours a week to myself. I could use this time wisely but instead I choose to nap, run errands or just sit in silence. All I know is eventually I am going to have to get up off my rear and do something. You would think that having my four year old draw a picture of me, explaining each step of the way, "This is Mommy's baby belly....." or my four year old niece telling me I have a big belly would help me get motivated! Yeah, Not inspiring! I don't know what it's going to take but right now, it is what it is.
Next topic; all four of my kids are now attending school. The twins are in the seventh grade, Olivia is in her 2nd year of kindergarten (no she didn't get held back, she is doing a two year program) and Sarah is in pre-k three afternoons a week. I can't wait till they are all in school full-time! A mom can dream, right?
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
I have gained like a million pounds over the past year. Okay, may be more like 10,000 but non-the-less, I am probably the fattest I have ever been outside of pregnancy. Which I might, pregnant is almost exactly what I resemble lately. I am happy to report that is NOT the case. I can't decide why I keep getting fatter and fatter but I know one thing is for sure, I have become super lazy.
Now some people would argue with me, siting that I run around all the time. They would be correct, I am always running around! However, my ass is always sitting down while I drive from place to place, dropping a kid here, dropping a kid there, picking one kid up, then another and another and so on. By the time I have a chance to relax, I sit my ass on the couch where I unwind from all that running. Quite honestly, I need to think of a catch phrase for this motherly phenomenon! Let's think some up right now, shall we?
1. Soccer Mom Assitis
2. Spectator Plumping
3. Car seat spreadation
That's all I got for now. I really have no excuse to be as lazy as I am. I have 7.5 hours a week to myself. I could use this time wisely but instead I choose to nap, run errands or just sit in silence. All I know is eventually I am going to have to get up off my rear and do something. You would think that having my four year old draw a picture of me, explaining each step of the way, "This is Mommy's baby belly....." or my four year old niece telling me I have a big belly would help me get motivated! Yeah, Not inspiring! I don't know what it's going to take but right now, it is what it is.
Next topic; all four of my kids are now attending school. The twins are in the seventh grade, Olivia is in her 2nd year of kindergarten (no she didn't get held back, she is doing a two year program) and Sarah is in pre-k three afternoons a week. I can't wait till they are all in school full-time! A mom can dream, right?
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
A Dental Nightmare
Yes my friends, a dental nightmare is how I would describe the state of my teeth. I have always had trouble with my teeth. I had cavities at a young age and have continued to have them into adulthood. To be honest, I am not sure I even a single tooth that doesn't have a filling in it.
Last week I started having pain in what I thought was one of my molars. This particular molar has a crown on it. Since my other teeth that have crowns have all required root canals. It was only natural for me to assume this was the case, right?
You can imagine my surprise when it turned out that it wasn't the crowned molar at all. As it turned out, it was the tooth right in front of it. Apparently the tooth that had a big ole filling in it all ready, had decay under the previously mentioned filling. Can you say fabulous??? That's exactly what I thinking!
As you can imagine, I was soooo excited when they said, "We can go ahead and take care of it today if you have time!" and of course I replied, "Why of course I do!". In all actuality I was thinking, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I hate going to the dentist. I am not really sure anyone loves to go to the dentist but I especially despise it. Why? Well, 8 out of 10 times that I grace the dental office with my presence, I end up having a cavity.
The dentist came in and began giving me shots. They hurt, they hurt a lot! Now I would love to tell you once I got the initial shots I felt nothing but unfortunately that wasn't the case. Oh hello kitty no! Nope, I had to get shot after shot after shot because it would not numb up. Finally after a zillion shots the dentist started to drill away at my old filling. It went well for awhile but then all of the sudden, I could feel it again! What in the Sam hill was going on???? Of course this meant, you guessed it, more shots!
Eventually I was completely numb, and the dentist was able to complete my filling. However, the right side of my face was so numb that I seriously looked like I had Bells Palsy and my face was completely swollen. I digress.
My mouth was numb for about four hours and now my tooth doesn't hurt at all but where I got all the shots hurts like no body's business.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Last week I started having pain in what I thought was one of my molars. This particular molar has a crown on it. Since my other teeth that have crowns have all required root canals. It was only natural for me to assume this was the case, right?
You can imagine my surprise when it turned out that it wasn't the crowned molar at all. As it turned out, it was the tooth right in front of it. Apparently the tooth that had a big ole filling in it all ready, had decay under the previously mentioned filling. Can you say fabulous??? That's exactly what I thinking!
As you can imagine, I was soooo excited when they said, "We can go ahead and take care of it today if you have time!" and of course I replied, "Why of course I do!". In all actuality I was thinking, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I hate going to the dentist. I am not really sure anyone loves to go to the dentist but I especially despise it. Why? Well, 8 out of 10 times that I grace the dental office with my presence, I end up having a cavity.
The dentist came in and began giving me shots. They hurt, they hurt a lot! Now I would love to tell you once I got the initial shots I felt nothing but unfortunately that wasn't the case. Oh hello kitty no! Nope, I had to get shot after shot after shot because it would not numb up. Finally after a zillion shots the dentist started to drill away at my old filling. It went well for awhile but then all of the sudden, I could feel it again! What in the Sam hill was going on???? Of course this meant, you guessed it, more shots!
Eventually I was completely numb, and the dentist was able to complete my filling. However, the right side of my face was so numb that I seriously looked like I had Bells Palsy and my face was completely swollen. I digress.
My mouth was numb for about four hours and now my tooth doesn't hurt at all but where I got all the shots hurts like no body's business.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
There Are Two Sides To Every Story
I know, I know, I am not even going to make excuses or ask for forgiveness! I do have a life outside of this computer, ya know? Not being one to dwell, I am moving forward to today's blog with great trepidation of my rantings.
in-law noun
1.A relative by marriage
(IN-LAW) This term is used to define how you are related to your spouse's family and relatives. It is most commonly used to describe your relationship to your spouse's immediate family. That is, his/her parents and siblings.
The above is Webster's definition of "in-law". You want to know my definition of in-law? In-law; Person or persons that come along with your spouse whether you like it or not, pains in the ass and/or a source of constant aggravation. Can also be someone who blames you for EVERYTHING.
Now some people are blessed with great in-laws and others are not so lucky. Due to the fact that my husband's parents are divorced, I have a great separation of one's I love and one's that I could do without. I have teetered back and forth about blogging this. Obviously in the end I decided I don't care if the wrong person reads this. Seriously? How much more trouble could this get me into???? I am going to go with none.
Before I go any further, I want to give you my feelings about gossip. I wouldn't go so far as to say I am a gossiper. In fact, I am tight lipped about things people in trust with me. After all, I wouldn't appreciate if I told someone a deep, dark secret thinking they were trustworthy only to discover they told anyone and everyone who would listen. Now if I get some juicy gossip that has nothing to do with my inner circle, I might spill - not "might", its very likely I will. Just being honest here people! Seriously, it is something most of us struggle with. On the other side of the gossip coin, somehow, someway, if you talk about me it WILL get back to me. I am not sure if this is because people want me to know or what. I am not sure why anyone would want me to know they wanted to be my enemy. I would be the first to admit you are either in or out with me and there is no real in between. If you are in, I would give you the shirt off my back, my last nickle, be there through whatever life throws at you. If you are out, lets just say it's pretty damn cold out there and leave it at that. I make no bones about it! This is just how I am, in my family we refer to it as being "Staten" and it's so much better for you to be on a Statens' good side.
It has never been a secret that my mother-in-law and I have a pretty rocky relationship. Scott calls it a mutual "hate-hate relationship". It all started when Scott and I began making out our guest list for our wedding. Who could know that inviting Scott's step mom would pose such a threat to the day? To all of us level headed people it would only seem natural to do so. There problems aren't my problems and surely they could put their issues aside for an afternoon, right? In the end it turned out okay but it wasn't without it's drama. Fast forward 16 years.....we are sitting at my daughters' dance recital, waiting for it to begin. My Mom was talking to my Grandma and pointed out my father-in-law and his wife to her and (BAM!) my mother-in-law is immediately pissed. She gets up seconds before the curtain lifted and left! This incident is just one of many over my 18 years of marriage.
Most recently, I threw a 40th Birthday Party for Scott at his Dad's land (which is another sore subject with the mil). Since everyone (except my mil) is on the Internet these days, I sent out invites via Facebook and told Scott to invite his mother as soon as humanly possible. I knew that if someone in her family saw it before her and said something to her, my ass would be grass! Have you figured out where this is going yet? Oh yeah, it gets back to me pretty quickly that she is pissed at me and apparently had lots to say about Scott's party to everyone but me. The kicker to the whole thing is she wasn't even going to be here anyway.
Last weekend, I got a phone call from a very good, unrelated friend of mine who said she had a very interesting conversation at a family dinner about me. Now my friend has no reason to fabricate anything, nor would she ever. In fact, she had no real prior knowledge about more than half of the things which were conveyed to her. Nor would she have made the connection unless it was pointed out as it was.
Apparently, someone in my friend's family is very good friends with my mother-in-law. She asked my friend if she knew me and when she confirmed, she proceeded to spew my mother-in-law's version of wrong doings by me all over her! What the HELLO Kitty???? Before I proceed, my mother-in-law has every right to bitch about me to her family, her friends or whoever she wants. If they blindly choose to believe it all as the gospel, that is their business. Where I draw the line and put up a mine field is when YOUR friend tries to convince MY friend that I am at fault for everything and I am an awful, terrible person. This is my response to all the things that were said about me via the friend, in no particular order with my own special twist.
1. Your friend does NOT know me therefore, has NO right to talk about me based on YOUR embellished version of things.
2. Your friend stated that she HAD to go on vacation with you because YOU weren't invited to your son's party. Truth, you WERE invited but you CHOOSE to go on vacation the week of your son's birthday. Nevermind, we all know that you can't just call and ask to stay at the beach house on such short notice.
3. Your friend stated we had our last child to "save" our marriage. Are you kidding me? The only thing our marriage needs saving from is YOU! Furthermore, the last thing I would do is intentionally bring a child into this world to "save" anything. Hell, I had three other kids! As if that wasn't warning enough that children don't save anything (including Scott's hard earned money). Furthermore, your precious son isn't being held captive here - just saying!
4. Apparently you paint me as this horrible bitch of a person to anyone who will listen. I am tired of you bad mouthing me. You simply don't like me because I don't allow you to manipulate me into doing what you want and include EVERYONE to events - Get over yourself. You aren't the only one with feelings.
5. I don't care what YOUR friends think of me, I don't care what YOUR family thinks of me and I certainly do NOT care what YOU think of me! I never had a fighting chance anyway.
6. The one and only thing your friend got right about me is that I am either your best friend or your worst enemy. I guess you picked the later.
There are many things I could go on and on about but I am going to take my own advice and build a bridge, which we all know you aren't capable of. I will no longer even consider taking any responsibility for your hurt feelings where I am concerned (Sort of like you don't consider the feelings of all but one of your grandchildren). You go on portraying me as the Wicked Witch of the West and I will gladly ride that broom.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Sick of You Running Your Mouth
*Disclaimer - These are my feelings and if it sounded like I am angry, I am.
in-law noun
1.A relative by marriage
(IN-LAW) This term is used to define how you are related to your spouse's family and relatives. It is most commonly used to describe your relationship to your spouse's immediate family. That is, his/her parents and siblings.
The above is Webster's definition of "in-law". You want to know my definition of in-law? In-law; Person or persons that come along with your spouse whether you like it or not, pains in the ass and/or a source of constant aggravation. Can also be someone who blames you for EVERYTHING.
Now some people are blessed with great in-laws and others are not so lucky. Due to the fact that my husband's parents are divorced, I have a great separation of one's I love and one's that I could do without. I have teetered back and forth about blogging this. Obviously in the end I decided I don't care if the wrong person reads this. Seriously? How much more trouble could this get me into???? I am going to go with none.
Before I go any further, I want to give you my feelings about gossip. I wouldn't go so far as to say I am a gossiper. In fact, I am tight lipped about things people in trust with me. After all, I wouldn't appreciate if I told someone a deep, dark secret thinking they were trustworthy only to discover they told anyone and everyone who would listen. Now if I get some juicy gossip that has nothing to do with my inner circle, I might spill - not "might", its very likely I will. Just being honest here people! Seriously, it is something most of us struggle with. On the other side of the gossip coin, somehow, someway, if you talk about me it WILL get back to me. I am not sure if this is because people want me to know or what. I am not sure why anyone would want me to know they wanted to be my enemy. I would be the first to admit you are either in or out with me and there is no real in between. If you are in, I would give you the shirt off my back, my last nickle, be there through whatever life throws at you. If you are out, lets just say it's pretty damn cold out there and leave it at that. I make no bones about it! This is just how I am, in my family we refer to it as being "Staten" and it's so much better for you to be on a Statens' good side.
It has never been a secret that my mother-in-law and I have a pretty rocky relationship. Scott calls it a mutual "hate-hate relationship". It all started when Scott and I began making out our guest list for our wedding. Who could know that inviting Scott's step mom would pose such a threat to the day? To all of us level headed people it would only seem natural to do so. There problems aren't my problems and surely they could put their issues aside for an afternoon, right? In the end it turned out okay but it wasn't without it's drama. Fast forward 16 years.....we are sitting at my daughters' dance recital, waiting for it to begin. My Mom was talking to my Grandma and pointed out my father-in-law and his wife to her and (BAM!) my mother-in-law is immediately pissed. She gets up seconds before the curtain lifted and left! This incident is just one of many over my 18 years of marriage.
Most recently, I threw a 40th Birthday Party for Scott at his Dad's land (which is another sore subject with the mil). Since everyone (except my mil) is on the Internet these days, I sent out invites via Facebook and told Scott to invite his mother as soon as humanly possible. I knew that if someone in her family saw it before her and said something to her, my ass would be grass! Have you figured out where this is going yet? Oh yeah, it gets back to me pretty quickly that she is pissed at me and apparently had lots to say about Scott's party to everyone but me. The kicker to the whole thing is she wasn't even going to be here anyway.
Last weekend, I got a phone call from a very good, unrelated friend of mine who said she had a very interesting conversation at a family dinner about me. Now my friend has no reason to fabricate anything, nor would she ever. In fact, she had no real prior knowledge about more than half of the things which were conveyed to her. Nor would she have made the connection unless it was pointed out as it was.
*FYI - I am not using names to protect the innocent*
Apparently, someone in my friend's family is very good friends with my mother-in-law. She asked my friend if she knew me and when she confirmed, she proceeded to spew my mother-in-law's version of wrong doings by me all over her! What the HELLO Kitty???? Before I proceed, my mother-in-law has every right to bitch about me to her family, her friends or whoever she wants. If they blindly choose to believe it all as the gospel, that is their business. Where I draw the line and put up a mine field is when YOUR friend tries to convince MY friend that I am at fault for everything and I am an awful, terrible person. This is my response to all the things that were said about me via the friend, in no particular order with my own special twist.
1. Your friend does NOT know me therefore, has NO right to talk about me based on YOUR embellished version of things.
2. Your friend stated that she HAD to go on vacation with you because YOU weren't invited to your son's party. Truth, you WERE invited but you CHOOSE to go on vacation the week of your son's birthday. Nevermind, we all know that you can't just call and ask to stay at the beach house on such short notice.
3. Your friend stated we had our last child to "save" our marriage. Are you kidding me? The only thing our marriage needs saving from is YOU! Furthermore, the last thing I would do is intentionally bring a child into this world to "save" anything. Hell, I had three other kids! As if that wasn't warning enough that children don't save anything (including Scott's hard earned money). Furthermore, your precious son isn't being held captive here - just saying!
4. Apparently you paint me as this horrible bitch of a person to anyone who will listen. I am tired of you bad mouthing me. You simply don't like me because I don't allow you to manipulate me into doing what you want and include EVERYONE to events - Get over yourself. You aren't the only one with feelings.
5. I don't care what YOUR friends think of me, I don't care what YOUR family thinks of me and I certainly do NOT care what YOU think of me! I never had a fighting chance anyway.
6. The one and only thing your friend got right about me is that I am either your best friend or your worst enemy. I guess you picked the later.
There are many things I could go on and on about but I am going to take my own advice and build a bridge, which we all know you aren't capable of. I will no longer even consider taking any responsibility for your hurt feelings where I am concerned (Sort of like you don't consider the feelings of all but one of your grandchildren). You go on portraying me as the Wicked Witch of the West and I will gladly ride that broom.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Sick of You Running Your Mouth
*Disclaimer - These are my feelings and if it sounded like I am angry, I am.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Red, White and BOOM
July 1, 2011
Can I get a Hallelujah? Torros is back at work!
On another happy note, I am going to thrifting with my Sissy and BFFF!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Happy Insanity
Can I get a Hallelujah? Torros is back at work!
On another happy note, I am going to thrifting with my Sissy and BFFF!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Happy Insanity
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Can't Sleep
Here I sit at 1:12am....yes A.M.! I would much rather be sleeping but instead I am sitting here on the computer chatting it up with you. Please don't take offense, I am just overly tired and apparently all jacked up on caffeine.
I have a doctor's appointment scheduled for tomorrow morning at 8 o'clock in the morning. Why did I take such an early appointment time??? Seriously, I have no idea what I was thinking. Truth be told, I went to bed at 11:15pm. I laid there and was about to fall asleep when Sarah, being the sweet little thing she is, decided it was time for a recorder concert. Before I forget, I would like to say a great big THANK YOU to Grandpa Tim for that lovely little instrument. You shouldn't have....far too kind! After about 5 minutes of this, I called her into my room and asked her to cuddle with me so I could fall asleep. This worked like a charm for her....yup, she is up there sleeping in my bed snoring away with her father.
In other news; My day started out like any other, I rolled out of bed, got dressed and headed out for my morning Overla Mocha - Large! When I got home, everyone was still sleeping. What else would my children be doing at 11 in the morning? DUH! I attempted to straighten up the house, start some laundry and mosey (is that how you spell that? I am sure spellcheck will let me know.) around the house doing this and that. Slowly the children began to rise and shine....
Since I had a hair appointment (corrective stray gray treatment) and knew I was leaving the kids here, I decided I would blow up their pool and fill it. I laid the pool out and went to the garage to retrieve the air compressor - You didn't think I would blow that up with all my hot air did you???? I am a smoker for crying out loud! You should know better! With compressor in hand, I step out onto the deck and there is Torros destroying the pool. SON OF A PREACHER MAN!!!! That dog had dropped his kong on top of the pool and proceeded to try and pick it up. Due to the fact that he is sporting a plastic cone around his head, it wasn't just a matter of him reaching down and snatching it up, oh no my friends, this was all out war - just ask the pool! Every time he tried to pick it up, the cone would knock the kong to another area of the pool. Point of this story....we no longer have the ability to put air in the pool and my kids were not able to swim.
Now before you go and turn me into P.E.T.A. or The Humane Society, it's important for you to realize that I have been dealing with Torros aka Cone head Stinky Butt for the past week. Why? Because a week ago while in pursuit of a "bad guy" he stepped in a pile of broken mirror and got a 1/2" x 1/2" gash in his paw. This gash required him to be knocked out so they could place seven staples in his wound. Guess what that meant? LUCKY ME!!!!!!!!! He got a doctor's excuse to be off of work for a week until he gets the staples out.
Torros is a high energy dog, which is a nice way of saying he needs Ritalin. He is well trained and excels at sniffing out bombs, tracking down bad guys and playtime. He absolutely sucks at calm, relaxing behavior. Torros will lay down and pass out on occasion but if you so much as move a hair, he is up and at em' within a mila-second. NO LIE! Now if I was lucky enough to get him to pass out, he would just pass gas...over and over and over. My house stinks like a big ole gastric mess! Ugggg. Back to the cone, it has become an unintentional weapon for him. He can't move without knocking into something or someone. I have little nicks all over my legs where he has run into me. Let's just say he is lucky to have survived this past week and lets just leave it at that!
Okay, I am exhausted so I am going to try and sleep now....
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
p.s. Torros got the bad guy despite his injury!
I have a doctor's appointment scheduled for tomorrow morning at 8 o'clock in the morning. Why did I take such an early appointment time??? Seriously, I have no idea what I was thinking. Truth be told, I went to bed at 11:15pm. I laid there and was about to fall asleep when Sarah, being the sweet little thing she is, decided it was time for a recorder concert. Before I forget, I would like to say a great big THANK YOU to Grandpa Tim for that lovely little instrument. You shouldn't have....far too kind! After about 5 minutes of this, I called her into my room and asked her to cuddle with me so I could fall asleep. This worked like a charm for her....yup, she is up there sleeping in my bed snoring away with her father.
In other news; My day started out like any other, I rolled out of bed, got dressed and headed out for my morning Overla Mocha - Large! When I got home, everyone was still sleeping. What else would my children be doing at 11 in the morning? DUH! I attempted to straighten up the house, start some laundry and mosey (is that how you spell that? I am sure spellcheck will let me know.) around the house doing this and that. Slowly the children began to rise and shine....
Since I had a hair appointment (corrective stray gray treatment) and knew I was leaving the kids here, I decided I would blow up their pool and fill it. I laid the pool out and went to the garage to retrieve the air compressor - You didn't think I would blow that up with all my hot air did you???? I am a smoker for crying out loud! You should know better! With compressor in hand, I step out onto the deck and there is Torros destroying the pool. SON OF A PREACHER MAN!!!! That dog had dropped his kong on top of the pool and proceeded to try and pick it up. Due to the fact that he is sporting a plastic cone around his head, it wasn't just a matter of him reaching down and snatching it up, oh no my friends, this was all out war - just ask the pool! Every time he tried to pick it up, the cone would knock the kong to another area of the pool. Point of this story....we no longer have the ability to put air in the pool and my kids were not able to swim.
Now before you go and turn me into P.E.T.A. or The Humane Society, it's important for you to realize that I have been dealing with Torros aka Cone head Stinky Butt for the past week. Why? Because a week ago while in pursuit of a "bad guy" he stepped in a pile of broken mirror and got a 1/2" x 1/2" gash in his paw. This gash required him to be knocked out so they could place seven staples in his wound. Guess what that meant? LUCKY ME!!!!!!!!! He got a doctor's excuse to be off of work for a week until he gets the staples out.
Torros is a high energy dog, which is a nice way of saying he needs Ritalin. He is well trained and excels at sniffing out bombs, tracking down bad guys and playtime. He absolutely sucks at calm, relaxing behavior. Torros will lay down and pass out on occasion but if you so much as move a hair, he is up and at em' within a mila-second. NO LIE! Now if I was lucky enough to get him to pass out, he would just pass gas...over and over and over. My house stinks like a big ole gastric mess! Ugggg. Back to the cone, it has become an unintentional weapon for him. He can't move without knocking into something or someone. I have little nicks all over my legs where he has run into me. Let's just say he is lucky to have survived this past week and lets just leave it at that!
Okay, I am exhausted so I am going to try and sleep now....
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
p.s. Torros got the bad guy despite his injury!
Monday, June 27, 2011
Party Planning
One winter night my bestie and I were trying to think up something to have a party for this summer. We are really into theme parties but not your everyday party themes. You might remember we had an Ugly Christmas Sweater Party in December. We really liked the idea of a summer formal party - let me clarify "formal" this would be a thrift store formal party. We are all about saving a buck! We also considered a Kentucky Derby Hat party. In the end, we just decided since Scott was turning 40 this year, we didn't need another reason to have a party. This party would be at our land which consists of 12 acres of raw land.
Scott's party is less than two weeks away. Can I tell you something? I just started thinking about planning this party that I sent out a facebook invite for a couple months go. My friends, I am not sure which part of my shortcomings this falls under. Lots of great ideas, no follow thru? Procrastination? Self-Diagnosed A.D.D.? O.D.D. formerly known as O.D.? I just do not know! For right now, we are going to go with A.D.D., shall we? I planned to plan for this party, I swear I did! I am not sure where I fell off the wagon. I kept thinking, "There's plenty of time yet!" and I am almost positive another thought crept up in my mind, "When Scott gets paid next time, I will get......." Either way this party is coming up fast and the past few days I have been trying to get it together.
Here is what I have accomplished thus far:
1. Painted shed
2. Updated facebook invite with pertinent information
3. Bought 160 Oscar Meyer hot dogs (no buns yet...note to self), 3 cases of water, cups for beer, plates, table clothes, pop, baked beans, stuff for bean salad and handi-wipes.
4. Made mason jar lanterns...okay, the kids made them after I told them to do it!
5. Hung mason jar lanterns.
6. Mowed some grass at the land.
7. Made a party flyer for Scott to put in friends mailboxes at work.
8. Decided that my posse and I will be reincorporating Kentucky Derby style hats into this party. I mean after all, we are and will be the life of Scott's party.
Side note: When I asked Scott if he was going to get hammered at his party he shrugged his shoulders and said, "I dunno" in a very unenthusiastic tone. Really? You really don't know? I am all ready planning for my hangover the day after his party and he isn't even sure he's going to get drunk at his own birthday party! So again I say, my posse and I will be the life of his party...it's just the way it's gotta be.
And I think that concludes what I have planned thus far for this party.
What needs to be done:
Final mowing of grass
Set up
Buy Chips
Buy hot dog buns
Buy more pop
And a whole bunch more stuff that I can't even think about right now. I can tell you what I know has to be done....Pick up the keg and special stash of Summer Shandy for the Queen of Insanity and her court. If you are coming to the party and aren't sure if you are in my court (aka: posse) you better find out fast because the Shandy is off limits to anyone who isn't. Sorry, it's the way it's gotta be!
Can we just be honest here for a minute? This party might end up being a total flop if I don't get my astronaut in gear...Even if I don't, I will have fun because that is how I roll.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Scott's party is less than two weeks away. Can I tell you something? I just started thinking about planning this party that I sent out a facebook invite for a couple months go. My friends, I am not sure which part of my shortcomings this falls under. Lots of great ideas, no follow thru? Procrastination? Self-Diagnosed A.D.D.? O.D.D. formerly known as O.D.? I just do not know! For right now, we are going to go with A.D.D., shall we? I planned to plan for this party, I swear I did! I am not sure where I fell off the wagon. I kept thinking, "There's plenty of time yet!" and I am almost positive another thought crept up in my mind, "When Scott gets paid next time, I will get......." Either way this party is coming up fast and the past few days I have been trying to get it together.
Here is what I have accomplished thus far:
1. Painted shed
2. Updated facebook invite with pertinent information
3. Bought 160 Oscar Meyer hot dogs (no buns yet...note to self), 3 cases of water, cups for beer, plates, table clothes, pop, baked beans, stuff for bean salad and handi-wipes.
4. Made mason jar lanterns...okay, the kids made them after I told them to do it!
5. Hung mason jar lanterns.
6. Mowed some grass at the land.
7. Made a party flyer for Scott to put in friends mailboxes at work.
8. Decided that my posse and I will be reincorporating Kentucky Derby style hats into this party. I mean after all, we are and will be the life of Scott's party.
Side note: When I asked Scott if he was going to get hammered at his party he shrugged his shoulders and said, "I dunno" in a very unenthusiastic tone. Really? You really don't know? I am all ready planning for my hangover the day after his party and he isn't even sure he's going to get drunk at his own birthday party! So again I say, my posse and I will be the life of his party...it's just the way it's gotta be.
And I think that concludes what I have planned thus far for this party.
What needs to be done:
Final mowing of grass
Set up
Buy Chips
Buy hot dog buns
Buy more pop
And a whole bunch more stuff that I can't even think about right now. I can tell you what I know has to be done....Pick up the keg and special stash of Summer Shandy for the Queen of Insanity and her court. If you are coming to the party and aren't sure if you are in my court (aka: posse) you better find out fast because the Shandy is off limits to anyone who isn't. Sorry, it's the way it's gotta be!
Can we just be honest here for a minute? This party might end up being a total flop if I don't get my astronaut in gear...Even if I don't, I will have fun because that is how I roll.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Sunday's Activities
When I woke up this morning I realized that while I was off in Lala Painting World, the rest of my house had gone to hell in a hand basket (Do people still use this phrase? I mean besides me). I decided while everyone was still sleeping - at noon no less - I would start getting the house picked up.
My first act in cleaning was to gather up all 1200 pairs of shoes which were laying all over my house. In an effort to help the children, I put all the shoes into an empty laundry basket along with any of their belongings I came across. There they would wait until the children got up because after all, this isn't the Holiday Inn! Now that I think of it, I do believe my children think this is a hotel.
Anyone who has been to my house can tell you a great majority of the time my chalkboard reads, "This ain't no Holiday Inn..Pick up your belongings!" Still they leave their crap laying everywhere, like I am a maid service. As I was typing this I remembered the tag line for another hotel chain, "We'll leave a light on". Well heck yeah my kids will leave a light on for you....I can assure you that! It could be the sunniest day of the year, the sunlight blaring in and they will turn a light on where ever they go. I love kids!
By three o'clock everyone was up and about, Scott had made us breakfast (Don't you judge!) and we gathered up some things to take with us out to our land for the evening; ie; fishing poles, hot dogs, marshmallows, extra clothes, rain boots, paint (I forgot to mention in the last blog that is what actually started the O.D.D.), kids and of course, the kitchen sink. By the time we finally got to the land which is approximately 15 minutes from our house, it was around 4:30p.m. Scott immediately went to work finishing the painting on the roof of the shed. Michelle and I had painted the shed itself the week before in preparation for Scott's 40th birthday party. You see, the shed had some nasty words on it that someone had spray painted several years ago. If we were going to have a party there, something had to be done about the wordy dirds, right? Right, so we took care of it and yes, this is actually what started my downward spiral into O.D.D. - if you don't know what O.D.D. means, you need to read the previous blog Paint -Mmmmmkay?
Tonight at the land, I learned to use the John Deere Tractor and mowed the grass. I fear that someone is going to pick on me because while I was getting used to the tractor, I did a lot of crop circles! I just know my father-in-law or brother-in-law are going to go out there for something and see my tracks...and then the harassment will begin! Oh well, I got a lot of mowing done. Michelle and her two youngest kids also came out. Scott helped them fish because out of the six girls only one will put a worm on a hook or take a fish off a hook to throw it back. When I finally figured out how to stop the tractor, Michelle and I hung out for a bit, we walked around the land surveying for the party and hung up my latest GENIUS idea - Mason jar lanterns. I must say that this is one of my better ideas - they worked fabulously when it got dark.
In conclusion, today I learned that my kids think this is the Motel 8, how to ride a John Deere tractor, that Michelle is an awesome hot dog/marshmallow roaster and I am pretty sure my kids are drinking 5 hour energy drinks when I am not looking!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
My first act in cleaning was to gather up all 1200 pairs of shoes which were laying all over my house. In an effort to help the children, I put all the shoes into an empty laundry basket along with any of their belongings I came across. There they would wait until the children got up because after all, this isn't the Holiday Inn! Now that I think of it, I do believe my children think this is a hotel.
Anyone who has been to my house can tell you a great majority of the time my chalkboard reads, "This ain't no Holiday Inn..Pick up your belongings!" Still they leave their crap laying everywhere, like I am a maid service. As I was typing this I remembered the tag line for another hotel chain, "We'll leave a light on". Well heck yeah my kids will leave a light on for you....I can assure you that! It could be the sunniest day of the year, the sunlight blaring in and they will turn a light on where ever they go. I love kids!
By three o'clock everyone was up and about, Scott had made us breakfast (Don't you judge!) and we gathered up some things to take with us out to our land for the evening; ie; fishing poles, hot dogs, marshmallows, extra clothes, rain boots, paint (I forgot to mention in the last blog that is what actually started the O.D.D.), kids and of course, the kitchen sink. By the time we finally got to the land which is approximately 15 minutes from our house, it was around 4:30p.m. Scott immediately went to work finishing the painting on the roof of the shed. Michelle and I had painted the shed itself the week before in preparation for Scott's 40th birthday party. You see, the shed had some nasty words on it that someone had spray painted several years ago. If we were going to have a party there, something had to be done about the wordy dirds, right? Right, so we took care of it and yes, this is actually what started my downward spiral into O.D.D. - if you don't know what O.D.D. means, you need to read the previous blog Paint -Mmmmmkay?
Tonight at the land, I learned to use the John Deere Tractor and mowed the grass. I fear that someone is going to pick on me because while I was getting used to the tractor, I did a lot of crop circles! I just know my father-in-law or brother-in-law are going to go out there for something and see my tracks...and then the harassment will begin! Oh well, I got a lot of mowing done. Michelle and her two youngest kids also came out. Scott helped them fish because out of the six girls only one will put a worm on a hook or take a fish off a hook to throw it back. When I finally figured out how to stop the tractor, Michelle and I hung out for a bit, we walked around the land surveying for the party and hung up my latest GENIUS idea - Mason jar lanterns. I must say that this is one of my better ideas - they worked fabulously when it got dark.
In conclusion, today I learned that my kids think this is the Motel 8, how to ride a John Deere tractor, that Michelle is an awesome hot dog/marshmallow roaster and I am pretty sure my kids are drinking 5 hour energy drinks when I am not looking!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Paint
Yes, I know I am a failure at keeping up on my blog. The problem and I am not sure if I have mentioned it before but I am positive I suffer from A.D.D. (I can't add either-HA). I have only been self-diagnosed and there is no over the counter treatment other than heavily caffeinated beverages that I have been able to find. I digress...
My blog, yeah, I have trouble staying focused on things. Primarily my weakness is follow through, wrapping it up, staying on task and dare I say completion? Now I have endless great ideas, I just can't see them to fruition a majority of the time. It's a blessing and a curse my friends. A blessing in the respect that more than likely my lack of focus has kept me from wild, dangerous or just plain bad ideas. The curse of it is I am 100% positive that I am a freaking genius trapped in my own mind! If you took a look around my house right now you would see lots of "Active" projects and very few "Finished" projects. Oh but I have not mentioned my other quality - Overdrive (I am sure some might consider it manic).
Overdrive, yes, yes, it is a serious problem. Again, this is a similar condition to the one I pick on my sister about...O.C.D. *Can I just say I frackin' love abbreviations?* In staying with the abbrevs. theme, we will now refer to "overdrive" as "O.D." <= See what did I tell you? GENIUS! O.D. is a horrible thing to suffer from. You start something and can't quit - sorta like my smoking habit! As an example; last week I decided that while Emma was gone for a couple days at her Grandmother's house I was going to clean her bedroom and paint it. I worked on her room for every bit of 36 hours in two days! It took me 30 hours to clean it, 2 hours to paint it, 1.5 hours to reorganize it and another 2.5 hours lecturing her about what a disgusting pigsty her room had been. Geesh! Can't a Mother get a break? Ahhh whatever ~ YAY ME! I completed one project...woohooooooo! Now I feel, well downright bored. Hmmmm....I know what I can do! Paint another room...yeah yeah yeah!
Abigail had wanted to paint her room from the minute she moved into it. I don't know why she took a sudden turn against the color pink but I made her live with it for at least a year. At this point I felt like her torture should cease and decided to let her have her way. I was shocked when she picked an aqua blue and wait for it.....wait for it.....asparagus green. Seriously people Asparagus!?! I didn't share her vision but wanting something to do, I agreed. After all, it is her room and I believe in self expression to the extent I see fit. We painted her room and it took far less time than Emma's room did because, ummmm, well I think you can figure that part out. It took us one evening and one morning to wrap everything up. I would also like to mention, her vision turned out fabulous!
The next day I somehow managed (beer) to (beer) sucker (BEER) my b.f.f.f. into coming over and helping me paint the room next to Abigail's. I offered her free beer for her free labor and in support of my O.D. - Shishkabob! I just realized "O.D." is all ready taken. Dagnab it! Do you think if I just added another "D" that would solve the problem? O.D.D. = Overdrive Disorder? Or do you think that is too odd? BLAHAHAHAHAHA Did I mention I was sleep deprived from the O.D.D.? Refocusing now....so Michelle agrees to come over and paint with me. No, we didn't end up drinking beer. We thought it might be irresponsible to paint and drink beer so we went with Malibu and lite fruit punch. Nothing like a fruity chick drink to keep you on task - As a disclaimer; we are experienced professionals drinkers (E.P.D'S) and we do not, I repeat, DO NOT advocate drinking and painting at the same time. Alas, we got the room done despite the fact that we were up till the wee hours of the night, Git R Done! That's our motto.
Today I spent the day putting up a border around the room and finally after (and this is where my A.D.D. comes into play) a year and half of buying the paint and border, GOT R DONE!
So yeah....the overdrive disorder is running me right now. I haven't slept enough or gone to bed early enough. My kids think summer break means hanging out with me 24/7, so as long as I am up, they are up. I have tried and tried to get them to go to bed earlier to no avail. They know my A.D.D. will kick in and I will forget that I even told them to go to bed because I got side-tracked by a pretty shiny thing somewhere...
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity, A.D.D., O.D. or O.D.D. and E.P.D'S
My blog, yeah, I have trouble staying focused on things. Primarily my weakness is follow through, wrapping it up, staying on task and dare I say completion? Now I have endless great ideas, I just can't see them to fruition a majority of the time. It's a blessing and a curse my friends. A blessing in the respect that more than likely my lack of focus has kept me from wild, dangerous or just plain bad ideas. The curse of it is I am 100% positive that I am a freaking genius trapped in my own mind! If you took a look around my house right now you would see lots of "Active" projects and very few "Finished" projects. Oh but I have not mentioned my other quality - Overdrive (I am sure some might consider it manic).
Overdrive, yes, yes, it is a serious problem. Again, this is a similar condition to the one I pick on my sister about...O.C.D. *Can I just say I frackin' love abbreviations?* In staying with the abbrevs. theme, we will now refer to "overdrive" as "O.D." <= See what did I tell you? GENIUS! O.D. is a horrible thing to suffer from. You start something and can't quit - sorta like my smoking habit! As an example; last week I decided that while Emma was gone for a couple days at her Grandmother's house I was going to clean her bedroom and paint it. I worked on her room for every bit of 36 hours in two days! It took me 30 hours to clean it, 2 hours to paint it, 1.5 hours to reorganize it and another 2.5 hours lecturing her about what a disgusting pigsty her room had been. Geesh! Can't a Mother get a break? Ahhh whatever ~ YAY ME! I completed one project...woohooooooo! Now I feel, well downright bored. Hmmmm....I know what I can do! Paint another room...yeah yeah yeah!
Abigail had wanted to paint her room from the minute she moved into it. I don't know why she took a sudden turn against the color pink but I made her live with it for at least a year. At this point I felt like her torture should cease and decided to let her have her way. I was shocked when she picked an aqua blue and wait for it.....wait for it.....asparagus green. Seriously people Asparagus!?! I didn't share her vision but wanting something to do, I agreed. After all, it is her room and I believe in self expression to the extent I see fit. We painted her room and it took far less time than Emma's room did because, ummmm, well I think you can figure that part out. It took us one evening and one morning to wrap everything up. I would also like to mention, her vision turned out fabulous!
The next day I somehow managed (beer) to (beer) sucker (BEER) my b.f.f.f. into coming over and helping me paint the room next to Abigail's. I offered her free beer for her free labor and in support of my O.D. - Shishkabob! I just realized "O.D." is all ready taken. Dagnab it! Do you think if I just added another "D" that would solve the problem? O.D.D. = Overdrive Disorder? Or do you think that is too odd? BLAHAHAHAHAHA Did I mention I was sleep deprived from the O.D.D.? Refocusing now....so Michelle agrees to come over and paint with me. No, we didn't end up drinking beer. We thought it might be irresponsible to paint and drink beer so we went with Malibu and lite fruit punch. Nothing like a fruity chick drink to keep you on task - As a disclaimer; we are experienced professionals drinkers (E.P.D'S) and we do not, I repeat, DO NOT advocate drinking and painting at the same time. Alas, we got the room done despite the fact that we were up till the wee hours of the night, Git R Done! That's our motto.
Today I spent the day putting up a border around the room and finally after (and this is where my A.D.D. comes into play) a year and half of buying the paint and border, GOT R DONE!
So yeah....the overdrive disorder is running me right now. I haven't slept enough or gone to bed early enough. My kids think summer break means hanging out with me 24/7, so as long as I am up, they are up. I have tried and tried to get them to go to bed earlier to no avail. They know my A.D.D. will kick in and I will forget that I even told them to go to bed because I got side-tracked by a pretty shiny thing somewhere...
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity, A.D.D., O.D. or O.D.D. and E.P.D'S
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Whatever Do They Think Of Me?
I was just getting ready to start another blog about Sarah (How she has been pretending to be a kitten, a dog, a pig and a baby for the past couple of weeks) and monetizing my blog when something funnier happened!
As I began to title my blog, I overheard a conversation between the two little ones. Let me set the stage for you; They are riding their scooters inside because the rain will not stop. Today has been filled with the rumbling of scooter wheels up and down my entry way, around the kitchen island and back. This is not exactly helping my rain induced sinus headache and it has become absolutely necessary to protect my toes. It does keep them entertained and I am not forced to listen to cartoons blaring from the television all day. Let's just be honest here, happy kids = happy Mom! Stage set, here's the conversation.
Olivia: Okay I think we can get away quick!
Sarah: Yeah, we are gonna be fast!
Olivia: Let's go rob the bank!
Olivia: Mom, You know how you said you were gonna rob a bank? Are you really going to do that?
*******************PAUSE FOR MY INTERNAL THOUGHTS********************
What the hello kitty? They CAN hear! It's a Christmas Day miracle! Oh My Gosh! Really? Do they really think I would rob a bank? Furthermore, do they know I plan to use their Father's police cruiser as my getaway car? Oh my heavens I must watch what I say in front of them!
**********************END INTERNAL THOUGHTS****************************
Me: No honey, I would never rob a bank!
I am tearing up here....they make me so proud! In my defense and I hate to refer back to my previous blog, "Broke Is The New Black" but these are hard times in the Queen's Court. Don't even get me started on how AEP is trying to ruin my life and my daughter's orthodontist thinks that I can magically make $3000.00 appear by June 6th (Which is ironically when AEP has threatened my electricity!) to continue her treatment!
Before I go off the deep end, I am going to conclude my blog.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
As I began to title my blog, I overheard a conversation between the two little ones. Let me set the stage for you; They are riding their scooters inside because the rain will not stop. Today has been filled with the rumbling of scooter wheels up and down my entry way, around the kitchen island and back. This is not exactly helping my rain induced sinus headache and it has become absolutely necessary to protect my toes. It does keep them entertained and I am not forced to listen to cartoons blaring from the television all day. Let's just be honest here, happy kids = happy Mom! Stage set, here's the conversation.
Olivia: Okay I think we can get away quick!
Sarah: Yeah, we are gonna be fast!
Olivia: Let's go rob the bank!
Olivia: Mom, You know how you said you were gonna rob a bank? Are you really going to do that?
*******************PAUSE FOR MY INTERNAL THOUGHTS********************
What the hello kitty? They CAN hear! It's a Christmas Day miracle! Oh My Gosh! Really? Do they really think I would rob a bank? Furthermore, do they know I plan to use their Father's police cruiser as my getaway car? Oh my heavens I must watch what I say in front of them!
**********************END INTERNAL THOUGHTS****************************
Me: No honey, I would never rob a bank!
I am tearing up here....they make me so proud! In my defense and I hate to refer back to my previous blog, "Broke Is The New Black" but these are hard times in the Queen's Court. Don't even get me started on how AEP is trying to ruin my life and my daughter's orthodontist thinks that I can magically make $3000.00 appear by June 6th (Which is ironically when AEP has threatened my electricity!) to continue her treatment!
Before I go off the deep end, I am going to conclude my blog.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Where Oh Where Has This Blogger Gone......
Where oh where has this blogger gone, Oh where oh where can she be.....Well I can tell you where I haven't been, on here! I am such a loser in the blogging realm lately.
I am sure you aren't wondering where I have been but alas, I will be sharing exactly that! The truth of the matter is, I haven't really been anywhere exciting. Why you ask? If you read my last blog, you should know that I can't afford to go anywhere!
I did get to go out one night a few weeks ago. A partial group of the posse went out to Dapper Dan's for Boobapalooza, which was a fundraising event for breast cancer. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was great because I won one month free of Zumba classes at a new gym here in town. WOOT WOOT! It was the the worst of times because I got a little carried away in the celebration department and ended up praying to the porcelain gods all night. My dear sweet husband decided it would be funny to post a picture of me on facebook in my weakened state. Yeah, he just lost his World's Best Husband nomination from me.
Natalie and I had a yard sale. I dug up whatever I could find to sell and made a mere $169.00. Natalie made double that! Of course, she had the help of a shopaholic Mother who sends an over abundance of everything for every holiday. Let's put it this way, Natalie's Mom sends so much stuff that she can fill her kids baskets, my kids baskets and the greater Columbus Area's kids' Easter baskets! Now, I am not complaining because clearly we benefit greatly from her generosity! I am just saying that Natalie has so much extra stuff, she can make a killing off of her Mom's habit.
This week has been pretty lame for me since I have no money and very little gas in my car - yes my car, the Pilot I normally drive has ZERO gas and is parked on the street until payday! I am limited to necessary driving only. Actually, I should be necessarily driving to the library right this minute to return some overdue movies but I would rather pay a late fee than waste gas. What's the logic in that? I digress.....
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
I am sure you aren't wondering where I have been but alas, I will be sharing exactly that! The truth of the matter is, I haven't really been anywhere exciting. Why you ask? If you read my last blog, you should know that I can't afford to go anywhere!
I did get to go out one night a few weeks ago. A partial group of the posse went out to Dapper Dan's for Boobapalooza, which was a fundraising event for breast cancer. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was great because I won one month free of Zumba classes at a new gym here in town. WOOT WOOT! It was the the worst of times because I got a little carried away in the celebration department and ended up praying to the porcelain gods all night. My dear sweet husband decided it would be funny to post a picture of me on facebook in my weakened state. Yeah, he just lost his World's Best Husband nomination from me.
Natalie and I had a yard sale. I dug up whatever I could find to sell and made a mere $169.00. Natalie made double that! Of course, she had the help of a shopaholic Mother who sends an over abundance of everything for every holiday. Let's put it this way, Natalie's Mom sends so much stuff that she can fill her kids baskets, my kids baskets and the greater Columbus Area's kids' Easter baskets! Now, I am not complaining because clearly we benefit greatly from her generosity! I am just saying that Natalie has so much extra stuff, she can make a killing off of her Mom's habit.
This week has been pretty lame for me since I have no money and very little gas in my car - yes my car, the Pilot I normally drive has ZERO gas and is parked on the street until payday! I am limited to necessary driving only. Actually, I should be necessarily driving to the library right this minute to return some overdue movies but I would rather pay a late fee than waste gas. What's the logic in that? I digress.....
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Broke, It's The New Black
Oh yes my friends, it certainly is true - Broke, is the new black! I feel it my duty to let you know this as I would hate for you to go through all of 2011, walking around thinking that black is what's "in". Simply put, black is out!
As you all know, we had a rental calamity towards the end of last year. It has been resolved in the aspect that we found decent renters (at least so far). However, we had to reduce the rent $145 a month. We were also left with a mess of bills. The best way for me to explain it is we are flat broke!
I have complied a "Top Ten Things I Hate To Hear While Being Broke " list that I would like to share with you.
1. Mom, I need.....
2. Hey, the car is almost on E....
3. Hey Krissy, You want to go shopping?
4. You owe (..insert name here..)....
5. You want to go out Friday night?
6. We are out of (..milk, eggs...etc..)...
7. Oops, we forgot to pay the water bill!
8. Captain Morgan?
9. My car is making a funny noise.
10. That'll be $(insert amount).
Yup, those are just some of the things I hate to hear! Really, I could go on and on about things I hate about being broke but I am sure you get the point.....
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
As you all know, we had a rental calamity towards the end of last year. It has been resolved in the aspect that we found decent renters (at least so far). However, we had to reduce the rent $145 a month. We were also left with a mess of bills. The best way for me to explain it is we are flat broke!
I have complied a "Top Ten Things I Hate To Hear While Being Broke " list that I would like to share with you.
1. Mom, I need.....
2. Hey, the car is almost on E....
3. Hey Krissy, You want to go shopping?
4. You owe (..insert name here..)....
5. You want to go out Friday night?
6. We are out of (..milk, eggs...etc..)...
7. Oops, we forgot to pay the water bill!
8. Captain Morgan?
9. My car is making a funny noise.
10. That'll be $(insert amount).
Yup, those are just some of the things I hate to hear! Really, I could go on and on about things I hate about being broke but I am sure you get the point.....
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Hide and Seek
Olivia decided that she was going to play hide and seek, by herself. She went and hid in the pantry (where I recently hung up curtains in lieu of the sliding doors). Olivia stood and stood inside the pantry until finally she decided to yell out for Sarah to come find her. Sarah ignored her. Olivia continued to yell out, "Come and find me!" Still Sarah paid her no mind. Finally, Olivia yells out, "Sarah come find me!!! I'm in the PANTRY!"
Kids! They are a hoot!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Kids! They are a hoot!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Tonight On The Insanity Chronicles....
Last night I watched the evening news. The news isn't one of my favorite things to watch because it tends to be depressing more often than not. However, last night I found it quite entertaining. Here is a recap of what I saw.
1. A police officer in Texas (I think) pepper sprayed a baby squirrel. Apparently the school called the police because the squirrel was acting a bit "squirrely", charging at kids, ect. The police officer shows up and fearing the little guy might have rabies, he makes the decision to pepper spray him. While he was spraying the poor thing, a bunch of girls were screaming and video taping the whole thing. The girls were screaming, "Don't spray him! He isn't hurting anyone! STOP! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" Ugggg girls, girls, girls...why must you screech? Animal Control showed up, cleaned the little guy off and released him back into the wild. Every one's happy! FYI: Squirrels rarely contract rabies. I would also like to add that I hate squirrels!
2. Digital Identities - There was a story about a woman who was including her digital identity in her will. According to the news story, many people do not think about this when planning for their demise. The news didn't say much else about it other than this one lady was including it in her will. Being a responsible person, who doesn't want her digital identity left all alone in cyberspace someday....I think I am going to add it to my imaginary will a/s/a/p.
Now for those of you who are feeling hopeful that I might bequeath you The Insanity Chronicles, I regret to inform you I can not. "Why?" You might be asking yourself. Well, before you throw yourself down on the ground and throw a temper tantrum, Scott was sitting there watching the news with me and wasting no time at all, he called it! I see a major problem with this - He rarely has anything to say! I don't know why under God's green earth he would want The Insanity Chronicles. We are talking about a man my sister refers to as the perfect P.O.W.!!!! Here is a sample of what I think my blog would look like if he did in fact, decide to take over.
Hey,
Today I got up, watched television, played x-box, went to work, came home, watched television and went to bed.
Out
This is assuming that he could figure out how to get on my blog. Let's just pray that nothing happens to me and I have to actually leave it to him, shall we? If I had to leave it to someone it would be my sister or my bestie. Why? Because they are freakin' hysterical. Of course, they both started blogs a couple months after I did, blogged a few times and then stopped. Hmmmm, may be I would be better off leaving my blog to one of my daughters! Again, let's hope it never comes to that.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
1. A police officer in Texas (I think) pepper sprayed a baby squirrel. Apparently the school called the police because the squirrel was acting a bit "squirrely", charging at kids, ect. The police officer shows up and fearing the little guy might have rabies, he makes the decision to pepper spray him. While he was spraying the poor thing, a bunch of girls were screaming and video taping the whole thing. The girls were screaming, "Don't spray him! He isn't hurting anyone! STOP! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" Ugggg girls, girls, girls...why must you screech? Animal Control showed up, cleaned the little guy off and released him back into the wild. Every one's happy! FYI: Squirrels rarely contract rabies. I would also like to add that I hate squirrels!
2. Digital Identities - There was a story about a woman who was including her digital identity in her will. According to the news story, many people do not think about this when planning for their demise. The news didn't say much else about it other than this one lady was including it in her will. Being a responsible person, who doesn't want her digital identity left all alone in cyberspace someday....I think I am going to add it to my imaginary will a/s/a/p.
Now for those of you who are feeling hopeful that I might bequeath you The Insanity Chronicles, I regret to inform you I can not. "Why?" You might be asking yourself. Well, before you throw yourself down on the ground and throw a temper tantrum, Scott was sitting there watching the news with me and wasting no time at all, he called it! I see a major problem with this - He rarely has anything to say! I don't know why under God's green earth he would want The Insanity Chronicles. We are talking about a man my sister refers to as the perfect P.O.W.!!!! Here is a sample of what I think my blog would look like if he did in fact, decide to take over.
Hey,
Today I got up, watched television, played x-box, went to work, came home, watched television and went to bed.
Out
This is assuming that he could figure out how to get on my blog. Let's just pray that nothing happens to me and I have to actually leave it to him, shall we? If I had to leave it to someone it would be my sister or my bestie. Why? Because they are freakin' hysterical. Of course, they both started blogs a couple months after I did, blogged a few times and then stopped. Hmmmm, may be I would be better off leaving my blog to one of my daughters! Again, let's hope it never comes to that.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Friday, April 8, 2011
Really Kirk?
As promised, we will now discuss Kirk Cameron. For sometime now I have been wondering EXACTLY what religion he is. Right before I came across Gone With The Wind the other night, I noticed that he had a show on the religious station. Since I had all ready decided to commit four hours of my life to Gone With The Wind, I was forced to record Kirk Cameron's show to watch later. *Sigh*
The next morning I got up and decided I was going to watch his show and see if I couldn't figure out his choice of religion. Before I go any further though, I am just going to put a little disclaimer here because this could possibly offend some. You have been warned! Read on if you dare.....
The show was about "Sharing God's Word In a Better Way". It started off with him and another man taking turns speaking, followed by a couple of skits. Then the part which keeps sticking in my mind. I just can't get over and have to share it.
Let me set the stage: They are outside what appears to be a shopping center. People are passing by and there is an interviewer. The interviewer begins to stop people randomly and asks them three questions...well four really and here it goes.
Excuse me, do you mind if I ask you some questions?
(person shakes their head as if to say "sure")
#1. Have you ever lied about anything?
The person answers yes..
Interviewer: So what would that make you?
Person: A liar?
#2. Have you ever taken anything that didn't belong to you?
The person answers, I don't know or yes
Interviewer: And what do you call someone who steals?
Person: A thief?
Now I kid you not, the interviewer looked at him/her and said, "So you are a self admitted liar and thief"
and then goes directly into the next question...Are you ready?
#3. Have you ever looked at another man/woman and had an attraction to them?
Person: Yes
Interviewer: So you have all ready admitted that you are a liar and a thief...now you realize that if you have had an attraction to someone you have all ready committed the sin of adultery in your heart...You have broken three of the ten commandments. Do you think you will go to heaven or hell?
WHAT? Stop the bus people....I mean this is Kirk's idea of "Sharing God's Word In A Better Way"? WOW! Now one of them cut off in the middle and they claimed that the battery died in the video camera but he accepted God into his heart right after....Ummmm....why do I find this hard to believe? The woman's interview that they showed, well she started crying and actually did ask them to pray with her.
Now really people, I was just astounded by this. I can't stop thinking about it. I think had these people asked me these questions and tried to make me feel guilty for lying for my kid to skip school, while stealing a book from a friend and thinking how hot her husband is, they would have had one hot mess on their hands...that's all I'm sayin'
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
The next morning I got up and decided I was going to watch his show and see if I couldn't figure out his choice of religion. Before I go any further though, I am just going to put a little disclaimer here because this could possibly offend some. You have been warned! Read on if you dare.....
The show was about "Sharing God's Word In a Better Way". It started off with him and another man taking turns speaking, followed by a couple of skits. Then the part which keeps sticking in my mind. I just can't get over and have to share it.
Let me set the stage: They are outside what appears to be a shopping center. People are passing by and there is an interviewer. The interviewer begins to stop people randomly and asks them three questions...well four really and here it goes.
Excuse me, do you mind if I ask you some questions?
(person shakes their head as if to say "sure")
#1. Have you ever lied about anything?
The person answers yes..
Interviewer: So what would that make you?
Person: A liar?
#2. Have you ever taken anything that didn't belong to you?
The person answers, I don't know or yes
Interviewer: And what do you call someone who steals?
Person: A thief?
Now I kid you not, the interviewer looked at him/her and said, "So you are a self admitted liar and thief"
and then goes directly into the next question...Are you ready?
#3. Have you ever looked at another man/woman and had an attraction to them?
Person: Yes
Interviewer: So you have all ready admitted that you are a liar and a thief...now you realize that if you have had an attraction to someone you have all ready committed the sin of adultery in your heart...You have broken three of the ten commandments. Do you think you will go to heaven or hell?
WHAT? Stop the bus people....I mean this is Kirk's idea of "Sharing God's Word In A Better Way"? WOW! Now one of them cut off in the middle and they claimed that the battery died in the video camera but he accepted God into his heart right after....Ummmm....why do I find this hard to believe? The woman's interview that they showed, well she started crying and actually did ask them to pray with her.
Now really people, I was just astounded by this. I can't stop thinking about it. I think had these people asked me these questions and tried to make me feel guilty for lying for my kid to skip school, while stealing a book from a friend and thinking how hot her husband is, they would have had one hot mess on their hands...that's all I'm sayin'
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Gone With The Wind
Last night I was surfing through the guide on my television looking for something to watch. I stumbled onto a classic, Gone With The Wind. Luckily, I caught it right before it was starting and was able to start recording it too, just in case I couldn't make it through the entire movie. If you have never seen it, it is a four hour movie! I also saw on channel 2 there was a 30 minute show by Kirk Cameron on and decided to record it to watch this morning - we will discuss Kirk in another blog.
Gone With The Wind....ahhhh where do I start? If you haven't seen it, you should and I don't want to ruin it for you. *This is your cue to quit reading or get prepared for my KrissyNotes (my version of the movie)* Let's get started then, shall we?
Setting:
The South during the Civil War time period
Characters I want to focus on;
Scarlet, Ashlee, Rhett and Melanie
*KrissyNotes:
In the deep south lives a girl named Scarlett, Scarlet is in love with Ashlee and she believes that Ashlee loves her. Please note; Scarlet could have any boy she wants but has her heart set on Ashlee. However, right before a picnic she finds out that he is going to announce his engagement to Melanie, who you should know is his cousin. This sets in motion a lifetime of misery for Scarlet! Little does she know Rhett, who was at the picnic, saw her and fell in love with her on sight. Soon after Ashlee announces his engagement to Melanie, Scarlet corners Ashlee and confesses her undying love for him. In return he asks her to look after Melly while he goes off to war. Scarlet then asks practically the first guy she comes across to marry her. WOW! Okay, so Ashlee's and Scarlet's new husband go off to war. Melly and Scarlet go off to Atlanta to stay with Melly's Aunt. Scarlet gets word that her husband was sadly killed in the war, however, she is not so sad but must pretend to be in mourning. There's a fundraiser dance in town for the hospital and Scarlet sneaks on over to it. Low and behold Rhett is there and dances the night away with her. Next thing you know, Ashlee is back on a 3 day leave and Scarlett is soooo happy. All Ahslee cares about is spending time with his wife. He goes back to war and Melanie discovers she is pregnant. She has a difficult time and almost dies. The same night she gives birth the Yankees are moving in fast and Scarlet summons Rhett to take her, Melly and the new baby back to "Tara" which is the home she grew up in. They go home find the house in ruins but somehow manage to bring everything back to life. Fast forward, the war is over the Confederates surrender and Ashlee comes home. Scarlet is so excited but again, he rejects her for his wife. He admits to loving her but not in the way she wants and again she marries someone else - this time she marries a man who her sister was going to marry. He gets himself killed....again she has to act as if she's in mourning. Rhett comes and saves the day and she marries him. She goes on and on still pining away for Ashlee. Rhett is deeply in love with her but she can't love him back because, well, you know. Eventually, they have a child...Bunny (love it) and when she is about five years old, she dies...then Melly says she is pregnant and subsequently dies. Scarlet is sad and after Ashlee says a few words about Melly, Scarlet realizes that he never felt the way he lead her to believe and she realizes that she really does love Rhett...but it's too late and this is pretty much the end of the story...except for the final famous line, "Frankly Scarlet, I don't give a damn!"
My Take on Gone With The Wind:
The first time I watched this movie I loved it but didn't read too much into it. This all changed for me last night because I read a whole lot into it. For instance, I think Scarlet was a cross between a black widow and Hester Prynne - hence the name Scarlet! Let's face it, all of her husbands bit the bust soon after marrying her and she did not give a hoot. She spent her entire life wasted on loving a man that would never loved her back. In addition to that, she missed out on the one man who truly loved her.
Melanie (Melly) was so naive and apparently a huge fan of Scarlet. She constantly defended her no matter what. However, you just can't help but love her.
Ashlee, well, shoot, I just don't know. He is somewhat guilty of leading Scarlet on all those years. I think he enjoyed the attention and the way he could manipulate her to do whatever he wanted knowing she was madly in love with him.
Rhett, He was an incredibly rich, handsome man. Who stupidly thought he could make Scarlet love him. I guess he was successful but by the time Scarlet realized it, too late.
In conclusion, I understand Scarlet's struggles but man did she have some serious issues!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Gone With The Wind....ahhhh where do I start? If you haven't seen it, you should and I don't want to ruin it for you. *This is your cue to quit reading or get prepared for my KrissyNotes (my version of the movie)* Let's get started then, shall we?
Setting:
The South during the Civil War time period
Characters I want to focus on;
Scarlet, Ashlee, Rhett and Melanie
*KrissyNotes:
In the deep south lives a girl named Scarlett, Scarlet is in love with Ashlee and she believes that Ashlee loves her. Please note; Scarlet could have any boy she wants but has her heart set on Ashlee. However, right before a picnic she finds out that he is going to announce his engagement to Melanie, who you should know is his cousin. This sets in motion a lifetime of misery for Scarlet! Little does she know Rhett, who was at the picnic, saw her and fell in love with her on sight. Soon after Ashlee announces his engagement to Melanie, Scarlet corners Ashlee and confesses her undying love for him. In return he asks her to look after Melly while he goes off to war. Scarlet then asks practically the first guy she comes across to marry her. WOW! Okay, so Ashlee's and Scarlet's new husband go off to war. Melly and Scarlet go off to Atlanta to stay with Melly's Aunt. Scarlet gets word that her husband was sadly killed in the war, however, she is not so sad but must pretend to be in mourning. There's a fundraiser dance in town for the hospital and Scarlet sneaks on over to it. Low and behold Rhett is there and dances the night away with her. Next thing you know, Ashlee is back on a 3 day leave and Scarlett is soooo happy. All Ahslee cares about is spending time with his wife. He goes back to war and Melanie discovers she is pregnant. She has a difficult time and almost dies. The same night she gives birth the Yankees are moving in fast and Scarlet summons Rhett to take her, Melly and the new baby back to "Tara" which is the home she grew up in. They go home find the house in ruins but somehow manage to bring everything back to life. Fast forward, the war is over the Confederates surrender and Ashlee comes home. Scarlet is so excited but again, he rejects her for his wife. He admits to loving her but not in the way she wants and again she marries someone else - this time she marries a man who her sister was going to marry. He gets himself killed....again she has to act as if she's in mourning. Rhett comes and saves the day and she marries him. She goes on and on still pining away for Ashlee. Rhett is deeply in love with her but she can't love him back because, well, you know. Eventually, they have a child...Bunny (love it) and when she is about five years old, she dies...then Melly says she is pregnant and subsequently dies. Scarlet is sad and after Ashlee says a few words about Melly, Scarlet realizes that he never felt the way he lead her to believe and she realizes that she really does love Rhett...but it's too late and this is pretty much the end of the story...except for the final famous line, "Frankly Scarlet, I don't give a damn!"
My Take on Gone With The Wind:
The first time I watched this movie I loved it but didn't read too much into it. This all changed for me last night because I read a whole lot into it. For instance, I think Scarlet was a cross between a black widow and Hester Prynne - hence the name Scarlet! Let's face it, all of her husbands bit the bust soon after marrying her and she did not give a hoot. She spent her entire life wasted on loving a man that would never loved her back. In addition to that, she missed out on the one man who truly loved her.
Melanie (Melly) was so naive and apparently a huge fan of Scarlet. She constantly defended her no matter what. However, you just can't help but love her.
Ashlee, well, shoot, I just don't know. He is somewhat guilty of leading Scarlet on all those years. I think he enjoyed the attention and the way he could manipulate her to do whatever he wanted knowing she was madly in love with him.
Rhett, He was an incredibly rich, handsome man. Who stupidly thought he could make Scarlet love him. I guess he was successful but by the time Scarlet realized it, too late.
In conclusion, I understand Scarlet's struggles but man did she have some serious issues!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
The Drama Queen Dancers
I have a lot going on in my feeble mind this morning so sit back and be prepared to read! In this blog I want to talk about how I could never be a coach of ANYTHING!
If I owned a dance studio and had a competition team, my teams' name would be "The Drama Queen Dancers". Why? It's certainly not because I would be adding some dramatic elements to their dancing. Shoot, just ask my nephew, Blake, he'll surely tell you all of my moves are straight out of the 80's! The Drama Queen Dancer name would solely be based on the fact that you are dealing with a bunch of pre/teen girls! Need I say more? Don't even bother answering because you and I both know, I will!
Let me set this up for you; One of my daughter's is a dancer. She dances all the time, anywhere and everywhere she can - Dancing is her life! That being said, it only makes sense that she would be on a competition dance team, right?
At the beginning of every competition season there is an informational meeting for students and parents. This meeting covers things like what the practice schedule will be, how many competitions there will be, estimated cost of commitment, as well as expectations. In my observation the most difficult requirements for team members and their parents are the practice schedule and expectations.
As a parent, I have an expectation of my girls when they participate in a group activity. Actually, the expectation applies to myself and others too. My expectation you ask? It's simple, if you make the "choice" to take part in a team of any variety, you always put your best effort forward and do what is asked of you for the benefit of the team. Easy enough, right? Well no, apparently not! Not all people instill this in their children and I find this to be a great injustice. The old adage, "You are only as strong as your weakest link" is so true. Let's put this in perspective, shall we?
Many of the girls on the team seem to be confused about what the word "team" implies and have a difficult time following directions. Here is what is expected of the girls if they CHOOSE to be on the team:
1. Barring serious illness or graded school function, you are required to be at every practice.
2. Be on time for said practices.
3. Come prepared to dance (proper dance attire for class)
4. Show up for competitions at designated time with hair and make-up done and ready to perform.
5. Have a good attitude and always put forth best effort.
Too much to ask? Not in my world but apparently it is for some others. It really irritates me that anyone would allow their child to join a team that is specifically meant to compete and the consequently allow them to not honor their commitment. What is the point? What are you teaching your child? Grant it these are pre- and teen girls. They are moody, catty, self-centered and the list could go on and on. None-the-less it is your job as a parent to direct and build character in your child. I am by no means a perfect parent; If you have read any of my other blogs you know I'm not! We have been late to practices, competitions and were guilty this very last weekend of showing up without her hair done! Let me tell you, the entire way there Abigail was flipping out because she didn't want to get in trouble. But low and behold we got there and one girl didn't have her hair or make-up done! This is not to excuse our hair issue but we did have a good reason and her instructors were aware of it before we even left our house.
Here's the difference in my daughter and some of these other girls that I refer to; My daughter will start getting ready for dance the minute she walks in the door for school (even though dance doesn't start until 3 hours later), she gets mad at me if we don't leave at least 15 minutes before class starts, she knows that if she isn't putting forth her best effort and/or was disrespectful to her instructors there will be consequences.
What boggles my mind is why these girls make the choice to participate and then proceed to, pardon my french, not give a shit! Oh and my personal favorite is when they get upset because they don't get higher scores....I digress
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
(And Obviously Rants)
If I owned a dance studio and had a competition team, my teams' name would be "The Drama Queen Dancers". Why? It's certainly not because I would be adding some dramatic elements to their dancing. Shoot, just ask my nephew, Blake, he'll surely tell you all of my moves are straight out of the 80's! The Drama Queen Dancer name would solely be based on the fact that you are dealing with a bunch of pre/teen girls! Need I say more? Don't even bother answering because you and I both know, I will!
Let me set this up for you; One of my daughter's is a dancer. She dances all the time, anywhere and everywhere she can - Dancing is her life! That being said, it only makes sense that she would be on a competition dance team, right?
At the beginning of every competition season there is an informational meeting for students and parents. This meeting covers things like what the practice schedule will be, how many competitions there will be, estimated cost of commitment, as well as expectations. In my observation the most difficult requirements for team members and their parents are the practice schedule and expectations.
As a parent, I have an expectation of my girls when they participate in a group activity. Actually, the expectation applies to myself and others too. My expectation you ask? It's simple, if you make the "choice" to take part in a team of any variety, you always put your best effort forward and do what is asked of you for the benefit of the team. Easy enough, right? Well no, apparently not! Not all people instill this in their children and I find this to be a great injustice. The old adage, "You are only as strong as your weakest link" is so true. Let's put this in perspective, shall we?
Many of the girls on the team seem to be confused about what the word "team" implies and have a difficult time following directions. Here is what is expected of the girls if they CHOOSE to be on the team:
1. Barring serious illness or graded school function, you are required to be at every practice.
2. Be on time for said practices.
3. Come prepared to dance (proper dance attire for class)
4. Show up for competitions at designated time with hair and make-up done and ready to perform.
5. Have a good attitude and always put forth best effort.
Too much to ask? Not in my world but apparently it is for some others. It really irritates me that anyone would allow their child to join a team that is specifically meant to compete and the consequently allow them to not honor their commitment. What is the point? What are you teaching your child? Grant it these are pre- and teen girls. They are moody, catty, self-centered and the list could go on and on. None-the-less it is your job as a parent to direct and build character in your child. I am by no means a perfect parent; If you have read any of my other blogs you know I'm not! We have been late to practices, competitions and were guilty this very last weekend of showing up without her hair done! Let me tell you, the entire way there Abigail was flipping out because she didn't want to get in trouble. But low and behold we got there and one girl didn't have her hair or make-up done! This is not to excuse our hair issue but we did have a good reason and her instructors were aware of it before we even left our house.
Here's the difference in my daughter and some of these other girls that I refer to; My daughter will start getting ready for dance the minute she walks in the door for school (even though dance doesn't start until 3 hours later), she gets mad at me if we don't leave at least 15 minutes before class starts, she knows that if she isn't putting forth her best effort and/or was disrespectful to her instructors there will be consequences.
What boggles my mind is why these girls make the choice to participate and then proceed to, pardon my french, not give a shit! Oh and my personal favorite is when they get upset because they don't get higher scores....I digress
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
(And Obviously Rants)
Monday, April 4, 2011
Brand New Broken Bed
At the beginning of March I decided to buy Olivia a new bedroom set. The reason I made this choice was two fold; One, her mattresses were at least a decade old and she was the third owner and two, I was tired of Lilly (our Beagle/Lab mix) taking everything under the sun under her bed to chew and destroy.
I went to Value City Furniture and picked out a super cute set! It is called OMG! and is white with some pink accenting on it. I did the package deal which meant I got the headboard, foot board, dresser and mirror. I ordered a trundle bed for it so that Lilly wouldn't be able to get under the bed anymore. Plus, my girls like to slumber in each other's rooms and this was the perfect solution all the way around. The only drawback was it was all on back order for a month! However, I was willing to wait because I had much to do in her room before it arrived.
Finally the day arrived when the bed would be delivered. Olivia and I were both excited! She had been counting down the days until it came since I told her about my purchase...The bed comes, the delivery guys set it up, I sign the paperwork and they left. I went upstairs to make up the bed before Olivia got home from school.
I put the sheets on the bed, put her princess quilt on followed by decorative pillows. It looks perfectly adorable! I then move on to the trundle bed...I start to pull it out from under the bed and BAM just like that the whole front end of it falls off! My first reaction is to look around for children because surely I could not be responsible for the demise of this bed so quickly! Then I realize this was all me and out of no where comes Sarah who takes one look at the bed, then me and says, "REALLY MOM? Why did you do that to LivLia's bed?" WOW! If that wasn't a turning of the tables moment I don't know what is!
At this point I am beyond pissed! I got up, got my receipt and immediately called Value City and demanded a new trundle. Seriously, this bed was in my house for less than 30 minutes and was all ready broken. They, of course, agreed to give me a new trundle but I have to wait till this coming Wednesday to get it. Great!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity (and apparent super human strength)
I went to Value City Furniture and picked out a super cute set! It is called OMG! and is white with some pink accenting on it. I did the package deal which meant I got the headboard, foot board, dresser and mirror. I ordered a trundle bed for it so that Lilly wouldn't be able to get under the bed anymore. Plus, my girls like to slumber in each other's rooms and this was the perfect solution all the way around. The only drawback was it was all on back order for a month! However, I was willing to wait because I had much to do in her room before it arrived.
Finally the day arrived when the bed would be delivered. Olivia and I were both excited! She had been counting down the days until it came since I told her about my purchase...The bed comes, the delivery guys set it up, I sign the paperwork and they left. I went upstairs to make up the bed before Olivia got home from school.
I put the sheets on the bed, put her princess quilt on followed by decorative pillows. It looks perfectly adorable! I then move on to the trundle bed...I start to pull it out from under the bed and BAM just like that the whole front end of it falls off! My first reaction is to look around for children because surely I could not be responsible for the demise of this bed so quickly! Then I realize this was all me and out of no where comes Sarah who takes one look at the bed, then me and says, "REALLY MOM? Why did you do that to LivLia's bed?" WOW! If that wasn't a turning of the tables moment I don't know what is!
At this point I am beyond pissed! I got up, got my receipt and immediately called Value City and demanded a new trundle. Seriously, this bed was in my house for less than 30 minutes and was all ready broken. They, of course, agreed to give me a new trundle but I have to wait till this coming Wednesday to get it. Great!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity (and apparent super human strength)
Busy, Busy, Sick
Over the last week I have been one busy gal. I have painted my master bath, my daughter Olivia's room, reorganized my pantry and after several years of frustration, took down the pantry doors. Oh and lest we not forget, dance competition season started this weekend.
It all started in December when I bought paint for my master bathroom. When I bought the paint that cold December day I thought I would paint the very next day. Yeah, so that didn't happen. The can of paint sat and sat and sat in my kitchen until a few weeks later when I decided to carry upstairs to my bathroom. I thought this would motivate me. Nope, no such luck! Actually, the main reason it took me so long to get started was I had a case of bursitis in my right shoulder. I took a week's worth of steroids in order to heal up but by the end of the week I had gained a mere 5lbs and still had shoulder pain. Eventually though the pain subsided and the excuse of my shoulder was just that - an excuse!
Everyday when I went into my bathroom I would see the paint sitting there beckoning me to use it. Last week I finally decided it was time to use the paint. It took forever to finish and I remembered exactly why I put it off so long! Painting bathrooms sucks! There are so many things to work around, the toilet, medicine cabinets, sinks, tub, shower....uggg!! However, I finally got it done. After it was first done I thought, "Did I seriously pick this color?" but once I got used to it, I have fallen in love with the color. It was such a shocking change of color - I went from a sage green to aqua glow. I have a beach theme going on in there now. I figure if I can't be at the beach, I'll bring the beach to me!
Finally with the bathroom done I decided that I oughta get Olivia's room squared away before her new bed came. I began cleaning, organizing and packing stuff up and out of the way. Once the room was in better shape I realized that her room needed painting. I asked her what color she would like and she said purple with black polka-dots. Ummm, I am not sure why she thought that I would even consider this but apparently she did. I showed her the colors of her Disney princess bedding and she decided that blue with pink polka-dots would be ok. Seriously, polka-dots? Good Heavens kids these day aren't easy to please!
Off to Lowe's to get more paint...Scott graciously helped me paint the room blue but bailed when it was time to do the polka-dots ~ Go figure. Actually, I found a stencil for the dots which made it go a lot faster than having to, I don't know hand paint them! The final product met her approval and I was glad to be done with it. Personally, I think the room is a bit dizzy but if the five year old likes....
I still had some energy to spare and made the decision to finally do something about my pantry - specifically the doors. You see for the past nine years we have lived here the door on my pantry have been knocked off a total of 3,500,000 times - LITERALLY! I am not sure how my children manage to knock them off over and over and over again but they do. I don't know if they get so excited to eat me out of house and home that they plow right into the doors or what. All I know is I could not take it for one more day and removed the doors. Scott, of course, was completely opposed to the idea but after years of begging him to do something about it, I took matters into my own hands.
I took the doors off and put them in my laundry room. Then I took EVERYTHING out of my pantry and decided to organize it - knowing this would make Scott happy. You see, I am not what you would consider "organizational" by any stretch of the imagination. When Scott and I first got married we would fight every time I came home with grocery bags. He wanted all the cans to be facing forward, green beans with green beans, tomato soup with tomato soup..you get the picture. In my feeble mind; veggies go with veggies, soup is soup and do we really need to be so concerned with stacking like items?? Personally, I like the thrill of the search! In my opinion, he was just too lazy to look for what he wanted and a bit anal. This was probably the first time I thought, "How did I get myself into this mess?".
Alright, I have to go on a tangent and completely off topic but after I wrote that I remembered something my sister told me some time ago. When she was on her way to the church to get married, our Dad asked her if she was sure she wanted to get married and that he would be more than happy to turn around. Did my Father do this when I got married??? OH NO! Perfectly acceptable for my sister to be a runaway bride but me....oh hello kitty no! I think that they just wanted me out of the house and they didn't care how that happened. Actually, when I told my Mom of my engagement at the ripe age of 19, she looked right at me with disappointment and said, "YOU ARE TOO YOUNG!" At the time, I thought what is she talking about? This woman who got married at 17 years of age! Hmmmff! Now I realize, she was speaking from experience. I was a teenager, I knew EVERYTHING!
*Back on topic* I made the executive decision that in order to get what I wanted, I should try to please my husband at the same time. This meant organizing the pantry. I went to the store and bought all different types of organizing shelves, came home and went to work. By the time I was done it looked like a professional organizer had stopped by! I sent Scott a text and told him he was going to LOVE me more than ever when he got home. When he got home and looked at it he was pleased. Not thrilled mind you but pleased. What the freakin' heck??? Almost 18 years of marriage and apparently his standards have been stomped out. Whatever! I am happy and at the end of the day, that's what matters, right???
With my spring cleaning rampage drawing to an end I fell victim to a cold. I woke up late last Thursday and had to drive Olivia to school so she would be on time. I didn't bother to change out of my pj's, I was too exhausted. I came home and sat on the couch comatose and finally decided that a shower might perk me up. It did no such thing and I ended up falling asleep on the couch for 2.5 hours, only to wake when Olivia came home from school. I did a few things around the house, went to Sam's Club, made dinner and took yet another two hour nap!
Friday night was Abigail's first dance competition (I will save THAT story for another blog) and then spent the rest of the weekend at home, doing nothing.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
It all started in December when I bought paint for my master bathroom. When I bought the paint that cold December day I thought I would paint the very next day. Yeah, so that didn't happen. The can of paint sat and sat and sat in my kitchen until a few weeks later when I decided to carry upstairs to my bathroom. I thought this would motivate me. Nope, no such luck! Actually, the main reason it took me so long to get started was I had a case of bursitis in my right shoulder. I took a week's worth of steroids in order to heal up but by the end of the week I had gained a mere 5lbs and still had shoulder pain. Eventually though the pain subsided and the excuse of my shoulder was just that - an excuse!
Everyday when I went into my bathroom I would see the paint sitting there beckoning me to use it. Last week I finally decided it was time to use the paint. It took forever to finish and I remembered exactly why I put it off so long! Painting bathrooms sucks! There are so many things to work around, the toilet, medicine cabinets, sinks, tub, shower....uggg!! However, I finally got it done. After it was first done I thought, "Did I seriously pick this color?" but once I got used to it, I have fallen in love with the color. It was such a shocking change of color - I went from a sage green to aqua glow. I have a beach theme going on in there now. I figure if I can't be at the beach, I'll bring the beach to me!
Finally with the bathroom done I decided that I oughta get Olivia's room squared away before her new bed came. I began cleaning, organizing and packing stuff up and out of the way. Once the room was in better shape I realized that her room needed painting. I asked her what color she would like and she said purple with black polka-dots. Ummm, I am not sure why she thought that I would even consider this but apparently she did. I showed her the colors of her Disney princess bedding and she decided that blue with pink polka-dots would be ok. Seriously, polka-dots? Good Heavens kids these day aren't easy to please!
Off to Lowe's to get more paint...Scott graciously helped me paint the room blue but bailed when it was time to do the polka-dots ~ Go figure. Actually, I found a stencil for the dots which made it go a lot faster than having to, I don't know hand paint them! The final product met her approval and I was glad to be done with it. Personally, I think the room is a bit dizzy but if the five year old likes....
I still had some energy to spare and made the decision to finally do something about my pantry - specifically the doors. You see for the past nine years we have lived here the door on my pantry have been knocked off a total of 3,500,000 times - LITERALLY! I am not sure how my children manage to knock them off over and over and over again but they do. I don't know if they get so excited to eat me out of house and home that they plow right into the doors or what. All I know is I could not take it for one more day and removed the doors. Scott, of course, was completely opposed to the idea but after years of begging him to do something about it, I took matters into my own hands.
I took the doors off and put them in my laundry room. Then I took EVERYTHING out of my pantry and decided to organize it - knowing this would make Scott happy. You see, I am not what you would consider "organizational" by any stretch of the imagination. When Scott and I first got married we would fight every time I came home with grocery bags. He wanted all the cans to be facing forward, green beans with green beans, tomato soup with tomato soup..you get the picture. In my feeble mind; veggies go with veggies, soup is soup and do we really need to be so concerned with stacking like items?? Personally, I like the thrill of the search! In my opinion, he was just too lazy to look for what he wanted and a bit anal. This was probably the first time I thought, "How did I get myself into this mess?".
Alright, I have to go on a tangent and completely off topic but after I wrote that I remembered something my sister told me some time ago. When she was on her way to the church to get married, our Dad asked her if she was sure she wanted to get married and that he would be more than happy to turn around. Did my Father do this when I got married??? OH NO! Perfectly acceptable for my sister to be a runaway bride but me....oh hello kitty no! I think that they just wanted me out of the house and they didn't care how that happened. Actually, when I told my Mom of my engagement at the ripe age of 19, she looked right at me with disappointment and said, "YOU ARE TOO YOUNG!" At the time, I thought what is she talking about? This woman who got married at 17 years of age! Hmmmff! Now I realize, she was speaking from experience. I was a teenager, I knew EVERYTHING!
*Back on topic* I made the executive decision that in order to get what I wanted, I should try to please my husband at the same time. This meant organizing the pantry. I went to the store and bought all different types of organizing shelves, came home and went to work. By the time I was done it looked like a professional organizer had stopped by! I sent Scott a text and told him he was going to LOVE me more than ever when he got home. When he got home and looked at it he was pleased. Not thrilled mind you but pleased. What the freakin' heck??? Almost 18 years of marriage and apparently his standards have been stomped out. Whatever! I am happy and at the end of the day, that's what matters, right???
With my spring cleaning rampage drawing to an end I fell victim to a cold. I woke up late last Thursday and had to drive Olivia to school so she would be on time. I didn't bother to change out of my pj's, I was too exhausted. I came home and sat on the couch comatose and finally decided that a shower might perk me up. It did no such thing and I ended up falling asleep on the couch for 2.5 hours, only to wake when Olivia came home from school. I did a few things around the house, went to Sam's Club, made dinner and took yet another two hour nap!
Friday night was Abigail's first dance competition (I will save THAT story for another blog) and then spent the rest of the weekend at home, doing nothing.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Monday, March 21, 2011
Last Week In Review
Last Week In Review
1. Drove kids all over kingdom come
2. Cleaned up after the children
3. Pissed off that no one in this house can pick up after themself
4. Played referee for the children
5. Wished there was a money tree growing in my backyard
5. Avoided cooking at all costs
6. Laid on the couch every night sulking about the woes of my life
7. Tried to figure out why people do the things they do
8. Laid on couch some more
9. Gave up on cleaning the house
10. Woke up Saturday and decided to suck it up
You see, my life was boring last week! I am going to try and have a little more excitement this week.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Continued.......
If you are just catching up with my blog, you might want to come back to this after you have read the previous blog.
We picked up Tammy and went to Bill Baileys. When we got there the first thing that we noticed was how packed it was. Any other time we have been there have been a maximum of fifteen plus us. On this particular night, someone was having a full out birthday party in there. The very next thing we noticed, a flippin' child. Finally, we noticed there was a buffet of food! Wow, did we ever hit the jackpot!
Usually, when we go to B.B.'s we are the largest group in there, that's if there are four of us going out. The posse is usually at least six of us wild and crazy gals. I know this seems like no big deal to some of you because you think, "It's a bar...there should be lots of people" But oh no, this place is a diamond in the rough as you might recall from yesterday's blog. We finally found a table after about 1 minute and made our way to the bar five feet away for drinks.
After we settled in we noticed the man child. He looked to be about 10 years old. What I can't figure out is why you would take your 10 year old into a bar for a birthday party. Did they not want to pay a babysitter? Personally, I think it is a lack of judgement on the parents. However, if you take into account the kind of people hanging out in the joint, it makes perfect sense. All of the sudden I am wondering what kind of people my friends and I are. Oh wait, we are people on a boojay! To be honest, we don't even fit in there but like I stated before we can do whatever in there and have no fear of ever running into them. Well except in there!
Let's focus on the birthday party now, shall we? They had appetizers all lined up. There was cheese, crackers, a cheese ball, nachos, bread n butter pickles....Oh was it ever a feast! We must have helped ourselves to at least 4 plates full of their goodies. Eventually they brought out a cake and we helped ourselves to that as well. Don't judge us! It would have been rude not to celebrate this gals 30th birthday with them. Honestly, we helped them relocate a lot of things that night.
Finally the bartender yelled last call and we were all shocked and dismayed. It couldn't be 2am all ready! Oh wait, we are at B.B.s...it must be one o'clock! Time to relocate ourselves....
We decided to go to the Minute Bar but when we got there they turned out their lights. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Is it more expensive to get a liquor establishment license if you stay open past 1 am??? Luckily for us City Bar was right next door and still open. Having never been in there before we were shocked to realize that we were pretty much the oldest people in the place. At some point I had to use the restroom and took the 3 mile trek back to the bathroom. On my way back there I hear them say something over the speakers and the next thing I know some big ole bouncers are pushing their way past me. I make my way up the ramp towards the dance floor and began to hear yelling and then I saw some guy with his shirt off, ready to throw down. On the other side of the dance floor is another guy foaming at the mouth as if he was getting ready to attack. Everyone is gawking and all I can think about is that I have to pee. I am not like these young people waiting to see the action, I have four children and my bladder is shot! I decide to push forward and go right through the middle of the scuffle. The moral of this story? When there is a fight on the dance floor, there is no line in the ladies room! WOOT WOOT! By the time I got out of the bathroom, I saw the naked chested dude being thrown out the backdoor and the other guy being escorted out the front.
When they did last call here, we walked outside and discovered it was snowing. My first thought, "SON OF A PREACHER MAN!" and now I have to drive home in this crap. The youngins also leaving were scooping snow off their cars and having snowball fights, prancing around like it was the first they had ever seen snow. This my friends is a sign that my age is creeping up on me!
Sunday, I slept in till 11 o'clock. Tanya had all ready made coffee (GOD LOVE HER) and Garrett got started on biscuits and gravy (GOD LOVE HIM!). They were magically delicious....finally it was time for Tanya and her crew to head home. I hate when they leave! Sarah and I had a nice quiet afternoon though. We played Don't Break The Ice and read some Dr Seuss. By late afternoon the other girls got home and at last we began getting ready for the week ahead.
Sincerely,
The Queen Of Insanity
We picked up Tammy and went to Bill Baileys. When we got there the first thing that we noticed was how packed it was. Any other time we have been there have been a maximum of fifteen plus us. On this particular night, someone was having a full out birthday party in there. The very next thing we noticed, a flippin' child. Finally, we noticed there was a buffet of food! Wow, did we ever hit the jackpot!
Usually, when we go to B.B.'s we are the largest group in there, that's if there are four of us going out. The posse is usually at least six of us wild and crazy gals. I know this seems like no big deal to some of you because you think, "It's a bar...there should be lots of people" But oh no, this place is a diamond in the rough as you might recall from yesterday's blog. We finally found a table after about 1 minute and made our way to the bar five feet away for drinks.
After we settled in we noticed the man child. He looked to be about 10 years old. What I can't figure out is why you would take your 10 year old into a bar for a birthday party. Did they not want to pay a babysitter? Personally, I think it is a lack of judgement on the parents. However, if you take into account the kind of people hanging out in the joint, it makes perfect sense. All of the sudden I am wondering what kind of people my friends and I are. Oh wait, we are people on a boojay! To be honest, we don't even fit in there but like I stated before we can do whatever in there and have no fear of ever running into them. Well except in there!
Let's focus on the birthday party now, shall we? They had appetizers all lined up. There was cheese, crackers, a cheese ball, nachos, bread n butter pickles....Oh was it ever a feast! We must have helped ourselves to at least 4 plates full of their goodies. Eventually they brought out a cake and we helped ourselves to that as well. Don't judge us! It would have been rude not to celebrate this gals 30th birthday with them. Honestly, we helped them relocate a lot of things that night.
Finally the bartender yelled last call and we were all shocked and dismayed. It couldn't be 2am all ready! Oh wait, we are at B.B.s...it must be one o'clock! Time to relocate ourselves....
We decided to go to the Minute Bar but when we got there they turned out their lights. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Is it more expensive to get a liquor establishment license if you stay open past 1 am??? Luckily for us City Bar was right next door and still open. Having never been in there before we were shocked to realize that we were pretty much the oldest people in the place. At some point I had to use the restroom and took the 3 mile trek back to the bathroom. On my way back there I hear them say something over the speakers and the next thing I know some big ole bouncers are pushing their way past me. I make my way up the ramp towards the dance floor and began to hear yelling and then I saw some guy with his shirt off, ready to throw down. On the other side of the dance floor is another guy foaming at the mouth as if he was getting ready to attack. Everyone is gawking and all I can think about is that I have to pee. I am not like these young people waiting to see the action, I have four children and my bladder is shot! I decide to push forward and go right through the middle of the scuffle. The moral of this story? When there is a fight on the dance floor, there is no line in the ladies room! WOOT WOOT! By the time I got out of the bathroom, I saw the naked chested dude being thrown out the backdoor and the other guy being escorted out the front.
When they did last call here, we walked outside and discovered it was snowing. My first thought, "SON OF A PREACHER MAN!" and now I have to drive home in this crap. The youngins also leaving were scooping snow off their cars and having snowball fights, prancing around like it was the first they had ever seen snow. This my friends is a sign that my age is creeping up on me!
Sunday, I slept in till 11 o'clock. Tanya had all ready made coffee (GOD LOVE HER) and Garrett got started on biscuits and gravy (GOD LOVE HIM!). They were magically delicious....finally it was time for Tanya and her crew to head home. I hate when they leave! Sarah and I had a nice quiet afternoon though. We played Don't Break The Ice and read some Dr Seuss. By late afternoon the other girls got home and at last we began getting ready for the week ahead.
Sincerely,
The Queen Of Insanity
Monday, March 7, 2011
What I Love About Having Four Daughters
By request I am updating my blog - Apparently, I am letting down one of my 13 followers!! So here it goes a little bit of this and a little bit of that.
My weekend in review: Friday night my bestie Michelle came over and we had a "Jeggins" night. Jeggins you ask? Well they are apparently really popular with the teens these days. They are leggings that look like jeans. I got mine on a whim, they were $1.98 - If you saw them, you would understand why! Shell and I wore them around the house...cuz that my friend's is how we roll! Sometimes, it more fun to stay in and wear crazy comfortable clothes than to go out! We also like to have themed nights. The only downfall to staying in is you are at the childrens' disposal. BOOOOO!!! It wouldn't be so bad but the children are prone to make up dances and shows that we are then forced to view. Luckily, Michelle and I are prone to A.D.D. and quickly forget the torture that was bestowed up on us! Any who, back to the jeggings, they are comfy but the problem I had with mine is they wouldn't stay up. Anytime I moved they would slide down and show my butt crack! Needless to say, I will not be wearing them in public. Well, that was never my intention anyway...Michelle and I also partook in some true TV and adult beverages. However, we discovered we aren't spring chickens on Friday nights and she left at 11ish.
After she left, I decided to start a load of laundry when one of my lovely daughters came to the door. Here is how the conversation went;
"Mom, those jeggins make your legs look skinny!"
"My legs ARE skinny!"
"No they aren't!" (Sarcastic eye rolling)
"Get the HELLO KITTY AWAY FROM ME BEFORE I KILL YOU!!!!"
Yes, I just LOVE having four daughters! Here are some other instances of why I love having four girls:
"Hey Mom! Move your big butt out of my way!"
"Mom, You might want to do something about your mustache....it's getting prickly!"
"Mom, You should try to get on The Biggest Loser"
"Mom, you have a butt belly!"
"Mom, you have bad breath.....you need to go brush your teeth!"
"Seriously Mom! Are you really going to wear that?"
My favorite is when my three year old says to me, "WHY DO YOU HAVE MAKE-UP ON?? HMMM?" followed by, "Is Shell comin' over?". Which then leads to the question, "WHERE are YOU going?"
Really? My three year old treats me like she is my Mother! I am just waiting for her to tell me I need o wipe some of my make-up off because I look like a hussy! I guess in her defense, I don't usually wear make-up unless I am going out. Perhaps she is just concerned about my whereabouts???
Yes, these are just some of the things my lovely daughters say to me! Aren't you jealous? I could go on and on with lots of other complimentary things they grace me with everyday but I think that is enough. I am sure you get the picture and quite frankly, it's depressing. Do they think I am unaware of the fact that I am short for my weight? Do they not realize they are part of the original problem? HELLO? How do they think I got his way???? The twins, reeked havoc on my stomach but eventually I was able to recover. Then I had Olivia - who totally halted all the progress I had made. By the time I had Sarah, well, I was just a hot mess! It is very difficult to bounce back from pregnancy at 35. Eventually I did make progress and lost a good 40lbs. Alas, all good things must come to an end, I gained every last bit of it back due to prescription meds and stress. STRESS?? Why ever would I have stress in my life? Living in my house is like being in a popularity contest! Do they like me today? Do I look okay? Did I brush my teeth and use mouthwash? Good heavens' its a lot of pressure!
Now that I am depressed, I guess I will focus on more of my weekend. At least that was more positive! Saturday my ever so precious daughters and I had hair appointments; as did Natalie and her two kids. Ninety-five dollars later, the twins got highlights and trims, Olivia got her hair trimmed, Sarah got a bob because Emily got one and I got highlights and a trim. So not only are my daughter's blessed with the gift of gab and sarcasm, they cost me a fortune! LOVE IT!
After our hair appointments were over, we had to rush home, get Emma, Abigail and Olivias' bags packed to stay over night with their Grandma Joyce, get something to eat and go to the rental house to show it to a couple of people. Have I mentioned how over rental properties I am? Natalie was kind enough to go with me to show the house so that I didn't get raped or murdered. Little does she know that my plan all along was to throw her to the murderous rapist while I made my getaway! JUST KIDDING! Michelle and I watch way too many true murder mystery shows. So while Natalie and I were risking life and limb to show my rental house, Grandma showed up to take the oldest three for child labor.....oh whoa...I mean an overnight! Actually, I don't care what their Grandma does with them when she has them so long as they are out of my hair! Sarah and I were going to enjoy a very peaceful afternoon!
Finally we arrived back at home and I finished up the straightening of my house before my company arrived.
Tanya, Garrett and Lauren (T's friend originally but now mine too) got here around 5:30pm, we ordered pizza and drank coffee. I might add, its not a great combo but I find as you get older you have to drink coffee in the evening to have any hope of making it past 11pm. Shoot my sister has to drink 2.5 hours minimum of a 5 hour energy drink to stay up late! HA Just kidding well, may be not....Hmmm. Eventually, Tanya, Lauren and I got ready to go out. Sarah was all up in my kool-aid, wanting to know exactly why I was putting on make-up - This make-up situation is out of control people!!! Finally, I escaped my house with the ladies and headed Old Bill Baileys.
I don't know if I have ever mentioned Bill Bailey's before, I can't imagine that I haven't. Its a great little hole in the wall bar. I love that place for so many different reasons! First of all, it is a treasure trove of freaks! Secondly, you can wear whatever (I think next time I am wearing my PJ'S...Michelle, you in????), say whatever, do whatever and no one thinks twice about it. Lastly, their prices fit into my boojay! The one and only drawback is they close at 1am. Last call at 12:40ish...I don't know why this tidbit comes as a surprise to us every single time we close the place down? We picked up Tammy and to Bill Baileys we went...
Sorry to leave you hanging but I do have other things I gotta get done right now....
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
My weekend in review: Friday night my bestie Michelle came over and we had a "Jeggins" night. Jeggins you ask? Well they are apparently really popular with the teens these days. They are leggings that look like jeans. I got mine on a whim, they were $1.98 - If you saw them, you would understand why! Shell and I wore them around the house...cuz that my friend's is how we roll! Sometimes, it more fun to stay in and wear crazy comfortable clothes than to go out! We also like to have themed nights. The only downfall to staying in is you are at the childrens' disposal. BOOOOO!!! It wouldn't be so bad but the children are prone to make up dances and shows that we are then forced to view. Luckily, Michelle and I are prone to A.D.D. and quickly forget the torture that was bestowed up on us! Any who, back to the jeggings, they are comfy but the problem I had with mine is they wouldn't stay up. Anytime I moved they would slide down and show my butt crack! Needless to say, I will not be wearing them in public. Well, that was never my intention anyway...Michelle and I also partook in some true TV and adult beverages. However, we discovered we aren't spring chickens on Friday nights and she left at 11ish.
After she left, I decided to start a load of laundry when one of my lovely daughters came to the door. Here is how the conversation went;
"Mom, those jeggins make your legs look skinny!"
"My legs ARE skinny!"
"No they aren't!" (Sarcastic eye rolling)
"Get the HELLO KITTY AWAY FROM ME BEFORE I KILL YOU!!!!"
Yes, I just LOVE having four daughters! Here are some other instances of why I love having four girls:
"Hey Mom! Move your big butt out of my way!"
"Mom, You might want to do something about your mustache....it's getting prickly!"
"Mom, You should try to get on The Biggest Loser"
"Mom, you have a butt belly!"
"Mom, you have bad breath.....you need to go brush your teeth!"
"Seriously Mom! Are you really going to wear that?"
My favorite is when my three year old says to me, "WHY DO YOU HAVE MAKE-UP ON?? HMMM?" followed by, "Is Shell comin' over?". Which then leads to the question, "WHERE are YOU going?"
Really? My three year old treats me like she is my Mother! I am just waiting for her to tell me I need o wipe some of my make-up off because I look like a hussy! I guess in her defense, I don't usually wear make-up unless I am going out. Perhaps she is just concerned about my whereabouts???
Yes, these are just some of the things my lovely daughters say to me! Aren't you jealous? I could go on and on with lots of other complimentary things they grace me with everyday but I think that is enough. I am sure you get the picture and quite frankly, it's depressing. Do they think I am unaware of the fact that I am short for my weight? Do they not realize they are part of the original problem? HELLO? How do they think I got his way???? The twins, reeked havoc on my stomach but eventually I was able to recover. Then I had Olivia - who totally halted all the progress I had made. By the time I had Sarah, well, I was just a hot mess! It is very difficult to bounce back from pregnancy at 35. Eventually I did make progress and lost a good 40lbs. Alas, all good things must come to an end, I gained every last bit of it back due to prescription meds and stress. STRESS?? Why ever would I have stress in my life? Living in my house is like being in a popularity contest! Do they like me today? Do I look okay? Did I brush my teeth and use mouthwash? Good heavens' its a lot of pressure!
Now that I am depressed, I guess I will focus on more of my weekend. At least that was more positive! Saturday my ever so precious daughters and I had hair appointments; as did Natalie and her two kids. Ninety-five dollars later, the twins got highlights and trims, Olivia got her hair trimmed, Sarah got a bob because Emily got one and I got highlights and a trim. So not only are my daughter's blessed with the gift of gab and sarcasm, they cost me a fortune! LOVE IT!
After our hair appointments were over, we had to rush home, get Emma, Abigail and Olivias' bags packed to stay over night with their Grandma Joyce, get something to eat and go to the rental house to show it to a couple of people. Have I mentioned how over rental properties I am? Natalie was kind enough to go with me to show the house so that I didn't get raped or murdered. Little does she know that my plan all along was to throw her to the murderous rapist while I made my getaway! JUST KIDDING! Michelle and I watch way too many true murder mystery shows. So while Natalie and I were risking life and limb to show my rental house, Grandma showed up to take the oldest three for child labor.....oh whoa...I mean an overnight! Actually, I don't care what their Grandma does with them when she has them so long as they are out of my hair! Sarah and I were going to enjoy a very peaceful afternoon!
Finally we arrived back at home and I finished up the straightening of my house before my company arrived.
Tanya, Garrett and Lauren (T's friend originally but now mine too) got here around 5:30pm, we ordered pizza and drank coffee. I might add, its not a great combo but I find as you get older you have to drink coffee in the evening to have any hope of making it past 11pm. Shoot my sister has to drink 2.5 hours minimum of a 5 hour energy drink to stay up late! HA Just kidding well, may be not....Hmmm. Eventually, Tanya, Lauren and I got ready to go out. Sarah was all up in my kool-aid, wanting to know exactly why I was putting on make-up - This make-up situation is out of control people!!! Finally, I escaped my house with the ladies and headed Old Bill Baileys.
I don't know if I have ever mentioned Bill Bailey's before, I can't imagine that I haven't. Its a great little hole in the wall bar. I love that place for so many different reasons! First of all, it is a treasure trove of freaks! Secondly, you can wear whatever (I think next time I am wearing my PJ'S...Michelle, you in????), say whatever, do whatever and no one thinks twice about it. Lastly, their prices fit into my boojay! The one and only drawback is they close at 1am. Last call at 12:40ish...I don't know why this tidbit comes as a surprise to us every single time we close the place down? We picked up Tammy and to Bill Baileys we went...
Sorry to leave you hanging but I do have other things I gotta get done right now....
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Where the Hello Kitty Have I Been???
Honestly, I just realized yesterday it has been quite sometime since I blogged. In fact, I forgot that I even had a blog. I must take this opportunity to apologize to all 12 of my loyal followers....Forgive me?
You see there's been a lot going on in my life. For instance, my old renters left my house in shambles and it has taken quite sometime to get it back in order. Everything had to be replaced. I mean EVERYTHING! NEW cabinets, NEW counter tops, NEW appliances, NEW kitchen and bathroom flooring, NEW carpet and NEW paint. What's NEW at YOUR house Krissy? Oh NOTHING! But thank you so much for asking. Hahahaha Okay, that isn't entirely true, I did get new cabinet and drawer pulls for my kitchen cabinets which we were able to purchase from credit we got back from returning things we didn't need at the rental house. WOOHOO!!! Don't I feel special? I just want new carpet in MY house. Why? Oh well, I have been living with yellow dog puke stained carpet for about four years now, compliments of Torros. Have you ever tried to strategically place furniture to cover up something? Geesh! Anyway, I am not bitter that my rental house is better condition then the one I live in. May be I will move back into that house by myself!
Finding new renters for the house has not been an easy task. Actually, I don't have renters as of yet. I am hopeful someone who hasn't been ticketed for no-op's ten times in the past four years, been arrested for prostitution or drug use, isn't a liar and who isn't currently being evicted will show up on my doorstep. Ya never know, it could happen! When I complain about the clientele to Scott he says, "Welcome to my world!" Really Scott? WOW! He choose his occupation, slumlord was handed to me. Enough about the rental situation because it only gets more depressing from here. For instance, how we had no money to afford all these lovely upgrades to the house or to pay the extra mortgage payments for four months or the extra utilities but whatever, broke is the new black! ENOUGH ALL READY!!! Moving on....
I have a new addiction....Adele, Adele 19 and Adele 21. Love her music and the lyrics to her songs. I can't decide if she is bitter or what but all her music tends to give that impression. The only "love" songs she sings are remakes. Either way, I love her music. Does that make me bitter too???
I have an important warning for all of you with children. There is a new epidemic going through my house and it could be headed your way.....MISSING SHOES! I am pretty sure I have ranted in the past about missing socks, that I have an entire basket dedicated to the poor lonely souls. Lately though, it has progressed into missing shoes. Where are then going? Is it the shoes way of protesting the mismatched socks on my children's feet? I just don't know......I can tell you this, the shoes need to be found because as you may have guessed due to my "rental" I am not in a position to be buying these kids new shoes!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
You see there's been a lot going on in my life. For instance, my old renters left my house in shambles and it has taken quite sometime to get it back in order. Everything had to be replaced. I mean EVERYTHING! NEW cabinets, NEW counter tops, NEW appliances, NEW kitchen and bathroom flooring, NEW carpet and NEW paint. What's NEW at YOUR house Krissy? Oh NOTHING! But thank you so much for asking. Hahahaha Okay, that isn't entirely true, I did get new cabinet and drawer pulls for my kitchen cabinets which we were able to purchase from credit we got back from returning things we didn't need at the rental house. WOOHOO!!! Don't I feel special? I just want new carpet in MY house. Why? Oh well, I have been living with yellow dog puke stained carpet for about four years now, compliments of Torros. Have you ever tried to strategically place furniture to cover up something? Geesh! Anyway, I am not bitter that my rental house is better condition then the one I live in. May be I will move back into that house by myself!
Finding new renters for the house has not been an easy task. Actually, I don't have renters as of yet. I am hopeful someone who hasn't been ticketed for no-op's ten times in the past four years, been arrested for prostitution or drug use, isn't a liar and who isn't currently being evicted will show up on my doorstep. Ya never know, it could happen! When I complain about the clientele to Scott he says, "Welcome to my world!" Really Scott? WOW! He choose his occupation, slumlord was handed to me. Enough about the rental situation because it only gets more depressing from here. For instance, how we had no money to afford all these lovely upgrades to the house or to pay the extra mortgage payments for four months or the extra utilities but whatever, broke is the new black! ENOUGH ALL READY!!! Moving on....
I have a new addiction....Adele, Adele 19 and Adele 21. Love her music and the lyrics to her songs. I can't decide if she is bitter or what but all her music tends to give that impression. The only "love" songs she sings are remakes. Either way, I love her music. Does that make me bitter too???
I have an important warning for all of you with children. There is a new epidemic going through my house and it could be headed your way.....MISSING SHOES! I am pretty sure I have ranted in the past about missing socks, that I have an entire basket dedicated to the poor lonely souls. Lately though, it has progressed into missing shoes. Where are then going? Is it the shoes way of protesting the mismatched socks on my children's feet? I just don't know......I can tell you this, the shoes need to be found because as you may have guessed due to my "rental" I am not in a position to be buying these kids new shoes!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Friday, January 21, 2011
Watching Helplessly
Tuesday started off well enough. All four of the girls were off at school and I had a couple of hours to myself. I didn't do anything exciting. In fact, I can't even recall what I did Tuesday morning. I do recall the early afternoon, I turned off my cellphone and took a nap. When I woke, I began to prepare dinner.
At 3:35pm, I stood by the stove, cutting up some veggies to put in with my roast, the phone began to ring. Scott was looking all over for the phone and I stood there wondering why my house phones constantly disappear. Finally, he found a phone, answered and handed it to me. It was my dear friend Jennifer and she was obviously upset and crying. The only thing she said, "Can you come over?" In my panicked state, I told her, "Let me put this roast in the oven and I will be over.". In hindsight, what a stupid thing to say! The truth is, I didn't put the roast in because all I could think about was getting to Jennifer. I grabbed my shoes, put them on while yelling to Scott, "Just follow the directions on the spice package!" and out the door I went. In my heart I knew it was something with her Dad. The whole way there, I hoped and prayed that it was something else, anything else but her Dad.
You see, Jennifer's Dad was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's Disease two years ago this coming March. If you don't know what Lou Gehrig's Disease is, look it up. There is no effective treatment, medication or a cure. It is a horrible disease that ravages ones body while leaving their mind perfectly intact. Also, Jennifer's parents were in Florida on a two week vacation and she was to fly down Wednesday morning to help her Mom drive back home.
When I walked in, I knew immediately that my suspicions were correct and I was pissed that I was right. It was her Dad. He had taken a turn for the worse that morning. Her Mom took him to the hospital and he was diagnosed with pneumonia. Since David was adamant about not being on a ventilator, they called in Hospice. Jennifer had changed her flight in order to get there that evening.
My job was friendship (and might I add, Webster's definition of friendship sucks!). Let me just say before I go any further, I am not boasting at all about my actions. My friends mean the world to me! I will do anything and everything I can to help and protect them if they need me to. It's just that simple. Funny thing is, I have know Jennifer since I was five years old. We were best friends until she moved away when we were in middle school. It was a horrible tragedy in my little brain as I didn't know how tough life can be. Luckily, Jennifer introduced me to Michelle before she left. Time passed and then Jennifer came back into my life a little over a year ago. But now I am getting off track, it's been a rough week so you'll have to forgive me. The bottom line is, I went to Jennifer's and tried to provide some comfort for her. The truth is, I did try my best but I feel like I fell short. I am not sure how anyone could feel like they made a difference when you know your friend is losing someone that means the world to them and you are a helpless to make it better.
I stayed with her until it was time to catch her flight. At first she just wanted me to drop and go but they had called and said her flight was delayed. This meant that she wouldn't make her connection and then she would not get to Florida that night. It would be over my dead body that my girl wouldn't make it that night! When we got to the ticket counter, I explained the situation and they said, "We don't show that flight to be delayed". They were very helpful and kind, moving Jennifer to the front of both planes. After everything was situated, I walked her as far as I was permitted to go. (Oh I wanna give a shout out to the terrorist who made it impossible for someone to wait with their loved ones till their plane departs). I walked away wishing I could hold her hand the entire way there. I cried the majority of the way home and couldn't sleep until she let me know that she had made it to her destination.
The next morning she sent me a text telling me that it wasn't good. My heart sank and the tears came easily. In search of my own comfort, I called my sister to see if she wanted to have lunch. She agreed and I made my way to pick up Olivia from school. I got to the school and went to wait for them to release the kindergartners one by one. This particular day they were doing a fire drill and then releasing. As I stood there waiting a man came up to me and the conversation went like this:
(him) Are you a police officer?
(me) No
(him) Oh so your husband is the police officer?
(me) Yes
(him) I can't believe you threw your cigarette butt out of your car window! That is littering, Shame on you!
*surveying my surroundings and realize the kids are out in their line*
(me) SERIOUSLY? You are really lecturing me?
(him) I sure am!
Now at this point, I really wanted to tell him what I would really like to do with my cigarette butt but I had to think of the children. Not to mention, I was having a very emotional day! He should be thanking his lucky stars right now that I didn't completely unload on his dumb ass. Anyway, my sister and I had lunch at Walmart because we are broke and they have a Subway. After we ate, we each got some things that we needed and I took her back to work. I felt a little better.
Around 2:35pm I got a text from Jennifer telling me it wouldn't be much longer. It was at this point that I began to cry. Then 15 minutes later, the text said, "Dad is at peace", I wanted nothing more than to be able to hug her and tell her it would be okay. Instead, I sat and wept for their loss and spent the rest of the evening somberly laying on the couch. Jennifer and her Mom flew home later that evening and truth be told, I was glad they were back.
I am going to stop here for now because it has taken me over two hours to write this much!
To be continued.....
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
At 3:35pm, I stood by the stove, cutting up some veggies to put in with my roast, the phone began to ring. Scott was looking all over for the phone and I stood there wondering why my house phones constantly disappear. Finally, he found a phone, answered and handed it to me. It was my dear friend Jennifer and she was obviously upset and crying. The only thing she said, "Can you come over?" In my panicked state, I told her, "Let me put this roast in the oven and I will be over.". In hindsight, what a stupid thing to say! The truth is, I didn't put the roast in because all I could think about was getting to Jennifer. I grabbed my shoes, put them on while yelling to Scott, "Just follow the directions on the spice package!" and out the door I went. In my heart I knew it was something with her Dad. The whole way there, I hoped and prayed that it was something else, anything else but her Dad.
You see, Jennifer's Dad was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's Disease two years ago this coming March. If you don't know what Lou Gehrig's Disease is, look it up. There is no effective treatment, medication or a cure. It is a horrible disease that ravages ones body while leaving their mind perfectly intact. Also, Jennifer's parents were in Florida on a two week vacation and she was to fly down Wednesday morning to help her Mom drive back home.
When I walked in, I knew immediately that my suspicions were correct and I was pissed that I was right. It was her Dad. He had taken a turn for the worse that morning. Her Mom took him to the hospital and he was diagnosed with pneumonia. Since David was adamant about not being on a ventilator, they called in Hospice. Jennifer had changed her flight in order to get there that evening.
My job was friendship (and might I add, Webster's definition of friendship sucks!). Let me just say before I go any further, I am not boasting at all about my actions. My friends mean the world to me! I will do anything and everything I can to help and protect them if they need me to. It's just that simple. Funny thing is, I have know Jennifer since I was five years old. We were best friends until she moved away when we were in middle school. It was a horrible tragedy in my little brain as I didn't know how tough life can be. Luckily, Jennifer introduced me to Michelle before she left. Time passed and then Jennifer came back into my life a little over a year ago. But now I am getting off track, it's been a rough week so you'll have to forgive me. The bottom line is, I went to Jennifer's and tried to provide some comfort for her. The truth is, I did try my best but I feel like I fell short. I am not sure how anyone could feel like they made a difference when you know your friend is losing someone that means the world to them and you are a helpless to make it better.
I stayed with her until it was time to catch her flight. At first she just wanted me to drop and go but they had called and said her flight was delayed. This meant that she wouldn't make her connection and then she would not get to Florida that night. It would be over my dead body that my girl wouldn't make it that night! When we got to the ticket counter, I explained the situation and they said, "We don't show that flight to be delayed". They were very helpful and kind, moving Jennifer to the front of both planes. After everything was situated, I walked her as far as I was permitted to go. (Oh I wanna give a shout out to the terrorist who made it impossible for someone to wait with their loved ones till their plane departs). I walked away wishing I could hold her hand the entire way there. I cried the majority of the way home and couldn't sleep until she let me know that she had made it to her destination.
The next morning she sent me a text telling me that it wasn't good. My heart sank and the tears came easily. In search of my own comfort, I called my sister to see if she wanted to have lunch. She agreed and I made my way to pick up Olivia from school. I got to the school and went to wait for them to release the kindergartners one by one. This particular day they were doing a fire drill and then releasing. As I stood there waiting a man came up to me and the conversation went like this:
(him) Are you a police officer?
(me) No
(him) Oh so your husband is the police officer?
(me) Yes
(him) I can't believe you threw your cigarette butt out of your car window! That is littering, Shame on you!
*surveying my surroundings and realize the kids are out in their line*
(me) SERIOUSLY? You are really lecturing me?
(him) I sure am!
Now at this point, I really wanted to tell him what I would really like to do with my cigarette butt but I had to think of the children. Not to mention, I was having a very emotional day! He should be thanking his lucky stars right now that I didn't completely unload on his dumb ass. Anyway, my sister and I had lunch at Walmart because we are broke and they have a Subway. After we ate, we each got some things that we needed and I took her back to work. I felt a little better.
Around 2:35pm I got a text from Jennifer telling me it wouldn't be much longer. It was at this point that I began to cry. Then 15 minutes later, the text said, "Dad is at peace", I wanted nothing more than to be able to hug her and tell her it would be okay. Instead, I sat and wept for their loss and spent the rest of the evening somberly laying on the couch. Jennifer and her Mom flew home later that evening and truth be told, I was glad they were back.
I am going to stop here for now because it has taken me over two hours to write this much!
To be continued.....
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
The Bitch Of Living
Yes, the bitch of living - Life! My title is a song from what turns out to be a very depressing musical. I have loved the music since the moment my sister introduced it to me. However, I had never seen the actual production. This was until my God Daughter, sent me a YouTube link to a boot leg video. WOW! I never realized how intense and sad it all was. The song title seems appropriate for how things have been going lately but the song is actually about teenage angst.
Once upon a Friday night, when I would have preferred to be out, my personal boojay (pronounced: "boo"-"jaa") advisor came over to put her excel spreadshit sheet formula on my computer. She got it up and running and then I had to face reality. One by one we went through the debt that floods my "To Pay" folder. *Not to be confused with a man's fake hair piece.* What I learned, there is no money in my "boojay" for anything. In fact, there isn't even enough money to pay my bills. My advisor said, "How are you doing this every month?". Truth? I have no fricken' clue! I can tell you this, I was keeping the boat afloat until the ole handy dandy renters decided to run us into an iceberg. Now we can barely make it paycheck to paycheck. Shortly after this counseling session was over, my financial advisor turned back into my dear friend and we promptly went to have a drink - which I might add, was not in the boojay! However, I felt it important to calm my nerves down with the help of my other good friend, Captain Morgan.
The next evening, I invited another friend over. She declined due to lack of funding or what my posse and I refer to as an "Economic Crisis". These times are simply depressing. Now I was stuck at home; lonely, depressed and broke! *sigh*
Fast forward to last Thursday, I got up and decided I needed to make a list of bills that HAD to be paid on Friday. I made the list and realized that there was no way that Scott's paycheck would cover all of them. This list stressed me out and I needed to escape this reality. I didn't think it would be appropriate for me to have a meeting with my good buddy "Morgan" so instead I insisted that Scott take me out to dinner. In the boojay?? Not only hell no but hell to the no! However, in the interest of sanity, he took me out. On the way home from dinner I got a text from Tammy telling me she would come visit me the next day due to my depressed state. My reply, "I was thinking of escaping to you!" And so I did.
I arrived at The Smith Inn a couple hours later. It was a good escape from reality. Tammy and I stayed up till four in the morning, listening to music (our favorite past time), talking about our woes and enjoying one another's company. The next morning I took a long hot bath in her claw foot tub, she made me eggs, bacon and toast. I give The Smith Inn a five star rating! Problem is, I had to go home at some point.
When I finally arrived back home, I had to face reality. Reality bites people! I don't even remember what that movie was about but it should have been about my crappy financial state. Blockbuster! Turns out, there was about $1000 worth of bills that I couldn't pay. (Did I mention that I love my x-renters?) There was a solution but Scott wouldn't hear of it. His remarkable and earth-shattering advice, pay the essentials...house, car & insurance and utilities and then whatever else you can. Really? I never thought of that! Love you honey....thanks so much for that helpful tip. I was thinking of paying to have an addition built on the house! EEERRRRR
After all the bills I could pay were paid, I had a little nervous breakdown in my car - good for the spirit I think. I spent the next couple days depressed on the couch. Confession, I really didn't spend all my time on the couch. I spent some time driving the kids to different destinations and when I was home and able, I was on the couch.
Sunday, I was down to only Sarah. Olivia was with my parents and Emma and Abigail had gone with Scott's Mom for the night and next day. It was sorta peaceful around here with only one kid to manage. Finally Monday rolled around and I was forced to hang wallpaper at our rental.
A word of advice, if you buy wallpaper (which turns out to be next to impossible in 2011) make sure it is pre-pasted. I had to order wallpaper thru Lowes because every wallpaper establishment this side of the Mississippi has gone out of business. I could have sworn that the back of the swatch said pre-pasted. I was wrong! I opened the wallpaper and was ready to get started when I looked down and thought to myself, "Hmmm, the back of this looks odd" then the directions fell out of the packaging. Oh it was odd all right!
"Prepare wall by first applying sizing to the area you plan to wallpaper" (uh huh, uh huh) "Then using a paint brush or roller coat the back of wallpaper with a quality paste before hanging" (What? Paint or roll back of wallpaper with paste? Why would I do that?)
Off I went to Lowes to buy wallpaper paste. I do not recommend using wallpaper that requires you to paste the back. In fact, I don't really recommend wallpapering at all. It is truly a nightmare. If you think that was bad, you'll love this! I got three full strips up and realized the double roll would not be enough. Back to Lowes to order more wallpaper.....Seriously bitter at ex-renters! None of this is my boooojay!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Once upon a Friday night, when I would have preferred to be out, my personal boojay (pronounced: "boo"-"jaa") advisor came over to put her excel spread
The next evening, I invited another friend over. She declined due to lack of funding or what my posse and I refer to as an "Economic Crisis". These times are simply depressing. Now I was stuck at home; lonely, depressed and broke! *sigh*
Fast forward to last Thursday, I got up and decided I needed to make a list of bills that HAD to be paid on Friday. I made the list and realized that there was no way that Scott's paycheck would cover all of them. This list stressed me out and I needed to escape this reality. I didn't think it would be appropriate for me to have a meeting with my good buddy "Morgan" so instead I insisted that Scott take me out to dinner. In the boojay?? Not only hell no but hell to the no! However, in the interest of sanity, he took me out. On the way home from dinner I got a text from Tammy telling me she would come visit me the next day due to my depressed state. My reply, "I was thinking of escaping to you!" And so I did.
I arrived at The Smith Inn a couple hours later. It was a good escape from reality. Tammy and I stayed up till four in the morning, listening to music (our favorite past time), talking about our woes and enjoying one another's company. The next morning I took a long hot bath in her claw foot tub, she made me eggs, bacon and toast. I give The Smith Inn a five star rating! Problem is, I had to go home at some point.
When I finally arrived back home, I had to face reality. Reality bites people! I don't even remember what that movie was about but it should have been about my crappy financial state. Blockbuster! Turns out, there was about $1000 worth of bills that I couldn't pay. (Did I mention that I love my x-renters?) There was a solution but Scott wouldn't hear of it. His remarkable and earth-shattering advice, pay the essentials...house, car & insurance and utilities and then whatever else you can. Really? I never thought of that! Love you honey....thanks so much for that helpful tip. I was thinking of paying to have an addition built on the house! EEERRRRR
After all the bills I could pay were paid, I had a little nervous breakdown in my car - good for the spirit I think. I spent the next couple days depressed on the couch. Confession, I really didn't spend all my time on the couch. I spent some time driving the kids to different destinations and when I was home and able, I was on the couch.
Sunday, I was down to only Sarah. Olivia was with my parents and Emma and Abigail had gone with Scott's Mom for the night and next day. It was sorta peaceful around here with only one kid to manage. Finally Monday rolled around and I was forced to hang wallpaper at our rental.
A word of advice, if you buy wallpaper (which turns out to be next to impossible in 2011) make sure it is pre-pasted. I had to order wallpaper thru Lowes because every wallpaper establishment this side of the Mississippi has gone out of business. I could have sworn that the back of the swatch said pre-pasted. I was wrong! I opened the wallpaper and was ready to get started when I looked down and thought to myself, "Hmmm, the back of this looks odd" then the directions fell out of the packaging. Oh it was odd all right!
"Prepare wall by first applying sizing to the area you plan to wallpaper" (uh huh, uh huh) "Then using a paint brush or roller coat the back of wallpaper with a quality paste before hanging" (What? Paint or roll back of wallpaper with paste? Why would I do that?)
Off I went to Lowes to buy wallpaper paste. I do not recommend using wallpaper that requires you to paste the back. In fact, I don't really recommend wallpapering at all. It is truly a nightmare. If you think that was bad, you'll love this! I got three full strips up and realized the double roll would not be enough. Back to Lowes to order more wallpaper.....Seriously bitter at ex-renters! None of this is my boooojay!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Further Proof
Mopping my floor was for not! Apparently mopping has the same effect on the environment as washing your car. You see, I mopped my floor - it is snowing like crazy outside and everyone is tracking in slushy snow and footprints. Wash your car and it will rain cats and dogs within 24 hours!
Just had to get that off my chest....
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Just had to get that off my chest....
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Monday, January 10, 2011
Cleaning: Can Someone Tell Me What The Point Is?
I woke up. Yup, I sure did, popped right out of bed this morning just like a spring chicken! HA! If you believe that I have some ocean front property in Arizona to sell you. Seriously though, I had to set two alarms for my first wake up at 6am and then an additional two for my second wake up.
The first time I woke up, I simply got up, turned off the alarms and drug myself over to Emma's room to make sure was up and moving. I then directed her to make sure Abigail was up and for one of them let let Torros out and back in before they left for the bus. I then shuffled back to my nice warm bed for an additional hour and twenty minutes of blessed rest.
The second time I got up I had to stay up! BOOOOO!!!! I went into Olivia's room and discovered her all ready awake, laying there looking sweet. Actually, I am not sure if she looked any sweeter than another morning that she grumbles all the way to the bus stop! The difference was, she was all ready awake and that makes all the difference in the way my 30 minutes with her goes in the morning. Trust me on this. Why was she awake all ready? It made no sense really until she told me that her belly hurt. So as I go to pull the covers back I realize that she is pull-up-less. The conversation went something like this:
Olivia, where is your pull-up?
In the trash? I had an "accident"?
What kind of accident?
I couldn't make it to the bathroom Mommy.
"Hmmmm where is the pull-up now?
In the trash can Mommy.
Okay, that's a good place for it.
I will not torture you with the events that followed the conversation. Just know that it required a lot of clean-up in the bathroom. *shaking my head* It was also followed by a hot shower for both of us. Her belly still hurt so I decided to give her a little extra time to relax and make sure that she wasn't going to have any more "accidents". When it was time, we hopped in the car and I drove her to school. Good idea in theory but it only encouraged her to ask if I would pick her up to.
After I dropped her off at school, I came home and decided that I had ignored the state of my vinyl flooring long enough. It was very difficult for me to admit I needed to mop. I don't hate mopping. It really isn't the action of doing it, it's the aftermath that is the issue. If you are wondering what the heck I am talking about, you must not have kids! Let me spell this out for you, I spent a good deal of time sweeping, scrubbing and mopping the floor. Literally, it took me an hour to accomplish this fete. No, I don't live in a palace! However, when I mop my floor, I move everything that isn't attached to ensure it gets done right. So the floor is spotless and now the waiting begins.......inevitably someone will be spilling something on this floor by the end of the day - It's guaranteed!
My floors are spotless and completely dry. It's time to go pick up Olivia from school. I let the dogs back in, then Sarah and I load up and head to the kindergarten center to get "Livleah" (This is what Sarah calls her - and it cracks me up!). We get home and walk in the garage door and "WHAT THE HELLO KITTY HAPPENED TO MY FLOOR???" Yes my friends, "Scott's" dog (pets are no different than children they are both of yours until they do something wrong) had apparently thrown up all over my freshly scrubbed floor! Worse yet, he also managed to throw up on the adjoining carpet. Obviously, I cleaned it up. Scott also pitched in and steam cleaned the carpet.
An hour later (LITERALLY) Olivia was walking from the kitchen to the living room and managed to cut the bottom of her big toe on the metal like trim that separates the vinyl from the carpet. Do you know where I am going with this? Her toe bled and bled and bled like no body's business all while she walked from the carpet to the vinyl. It was a blood bath people!! Honestly, it wasn't till after I got her all cleaned up and we determined she didn't need stitches that I realized what had happened to the flooring.
I was really stressed out after all of this excitement in my morning/early afternoon and required a regrouping nap. I laid down on the couch and instructed Scott to wake me up in one hour. Obviously confused about the directions I gave HIM to wake me up, Abigail stood before me directing me it was time to get up. In her hand, which can only be explained as a peace offering, was a chocolate covered pretzel. She offered it to me and instructed me to try it. I did, it was yummy and then I wondered where it came from. Apparently while I was napping, she made them. Shortly after this I walked into the kitchen....I digress.
In conclusion, I really don't see the point of my busting my rump to keep my house spic and span. It just isn't realistic to put that kind of pressure on myself. I am not a hamster, I don't run on a wheel,I am over it!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
The first time I woke up, I simply got up, turned off the alarms and drug myself over to Emma's room to make sure was up and moving. I then directed her to make sure Abigail was up and for one of them let let Torros out and back in before they left for the bus. I then shuffled back to my nice warm bed for an additional hour and twenty minutes of blessed rest.
The second time I got up I had to stay up! BOOOOO!!!! I went into Olivia's room and discovered her all ready awake, laying there looking sweet. Actually, I am not sure if she looked any sweeter than another morning that she grumbles all the way to the bus stop! The difference was, she was all ready awake and that makes all the difference in the way my 30 minutes with her goes in the morning. Trust me on this. Why was she awake all ready? It made no sense really until she told me that her belly hurt. So as I go to pull the covers back I realize that she is pull-up-less. The conversation went something like this:
Olivia, where is your pull-up?
In the trash? I had an "accident"?
What kind of accident?
I couldn't make it to the bathroom Mommy.
"Hmmmm where is the pull-up now?
In the trash can Mommy.
Okay, that's a good place for it.
I will not torture you with the events that followed the conversation. Just know that it required a lot of clean-up in the bathroom. *shaking my head* It was also followed by a hot shower for both of us. Her belly still hurt so I decided to give her a little extra time to relax and make sure that she wasn't going to have any more "accidents". When it was time, we hopped in the car and I drove her to school. Good idea in theory but it only encouraged her to ask if I would pick her up to.
After I dropped her off at school, I came home and decided that I had ignored the state of my vinyl flooring long enough. It was very difficult for me to admit I needed to mop. I don't hate mopping. It really isn't the action of doing it, it's the aftermath that is the issue. If you are wondering what the heck I am talking about, you must not have kids! Let me spell this out for you, I spent a good deal of time sweeping, scrubbing and mopping the floor. Literally, it took me an hour to accomplish this fete. No, I don't live in a palace! However, when I mop my floor, I move everything that isn't attached to ensure it gets done right. So the floor is spotless and now the waiting begins.......inevitably someone will be spilling something on this floor by the end of the day - It's guaranteed!
My floors are spotless and completely dry. It's time to go pick up Olivia from school. I let the dogs back in, then Sarah and I load up and head to the kindergarten center to get "Livleah" (This is what Sarah calls her - and it cracks me up!). We get home and walk in the garage door and "WHAT THE HELLO KITTY HAPPENED TO MY FLOOR???" Yes my friends, "Scott's" dog (pets are no different than children they are both of yours until they do something wrong) had apparently thrown up all over my freshly scrubbed floor! Worse yet, he also managed to throw up on the adjoining carpet. Obviously, I cleaned it up. Scott also pitched in and steam cleaned the carpet.
An hour later (LITERALLY) Olivia was walking from the kitchen to the living room and managed to cut the bottom of her big toe on the metal like trim that separates the vinyl from the carpet. Do you know where I am going with this? Her toe bled and bled and bled like no body's business all while she walked from the carpet to the vinyl. It was a blood bath people!! Honestly, it wasn't till after I got her all cleaned up and we determined she didn't need stitches that I realized what had happened to the flooring.
I was really stressed out after all of this excitement in my morning/early afternoon and required a regrouping nap. I laid down on the couch and instructed Scott to wake me up in one hour. Obviously confused about the directions I gave HIM to wake me up, Abigail stood before me directing me it was time to get up. In her hand, which can only be explained as a peace offering, was a chocolate covered pretzel. She offered it to me and instructed me to try it. I did, it was yummy and then I wondered where it came from. Apparently while I was napping, she made them. Shortly after this I walked into the kitchen....I digress.
In conclusion, I really don't see the point of my busting my rump to keep my house spic and span. It just isn't realistic to put that kind of pressure on myself. I am not a hamster, I don't run on a wheel,I am over it!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Friday, January 7, 2011
It's A New Day
Last night I decided that after feeling like crap for the past couple of weeks, I was going to make sure that I got a good night's sleep no matter what! Aided by pharmaceuticals, I accomplished my mission. Then at 5:40am this morning, a glorious thing happened! The phone rang and a recording proceeded to inform me there would be a two hour delay. I am always willing to accept a two hour delay, just not an entire snow day - those just aren't my cup of tea!
When I finally got up off the couch (where I passed out last night after lovely sleeping aid) this morning, I felt like a million bucks! The kids were off to school and Sarah and I decided (okay I decided) to take a field trip to Nordstrom to exchange a pair of snow boots I had purchased a couple weeks ago. Luckily I was able to find another pair. At first I thought they were going to be more than I paid for the others but as it turned out, they were on clearance! WOOT WOOT! I ended up getting a refund...Oh happy day!
Now I am just sitting here waiting for the twins to get home from school so I can enjoy all four of my children for two days......
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
When I finally got up off the couch (where I passed out last night after lovely sleeping aid) this morning, I felt like a million bucks! The kids were off to school and Sarah and I decided (okay I decided) to take a field trip to Nordstrom to exchange a pair of snow boots I had purchased a couple weeks ago. Luckily I was able to find another pair. At first I thought they were going to be more than I paid for the others but as it turned out, they were on clearance! WOOT WOOT! I ended up getting a refund...Oh happy day!
Now I am just sitting here waiting for the twins to get home from school so I can enjoy all four of my children for two days......
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
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