Who's Your Favorite?

fa·vor·ite

   /ˈfeɪvərɪt, ˈfeɪvrɪt/ Show Spelled[fey-ver-it, feyv-rit] Show IPA

noun

1. a person or thing regarded with special favor or preference: That song is an old favorite of mine.

2. Sports . a competitor considered likely to win.

3. a person or thing popular with the public.

4. a person treated with special or undue favor by a king, official, etc.: favorites at the court.

 

Let's face it, we are born with innate preferences and as we grow in knowledge and experience, we find things that we love as well as despise. It's a matter of fact, pretty people get ahead in this world - don't even try to argue this untrue.  The beautiful, the skinny, he with the most (insert whatever here) wins, and all kinds of  what society views as perfection is given "preference".  FACT

 

If you haven't already figured it out, today's edition of my blog is not about playing favorites at home.  The battle of favorites in the eyes of one's own children can never be won - well at least not until they have children of their own and realize there is a special kind of compartmentalized love for each and every child.  You love them each whole-heartedly.  This chronicle is about the world. 

 

How do you teach your children to be fair and to give every one a chance when this example is lacking every where you look?  As a parent, I am trying to instill into my four hooligans to be honest, fair, dedicated to their activities and the horrible truth: The world is not a fair place! At times it seems impossible to teach these lessons. We all want the very best for your our offspring and for some of us, it means robbing Peter to pay Paul and in desperate cases, beating down Mary!  I know this seems like ramblings of a mad woman but rest assured, this IS going somewhere. 

 

The competitive world is ugly and YET I have three out of four of my children in knee deep!  It's the insanity, it has to be! In competition there will always be a winner and there will always be a loser.  I'm okay with this.  What I am not okay with is blatant favoritism.  I am forever telling a dear friend of mine, "No worries, they will get by on their own accord".  Truth be told, this is only partially true.  I have seen this go either way but in my heart of hearts, I must believe sometimes it's true.  We spend a vast majority of our time training in our activities of choice and always hope our best will shine through - sometimes our best isn't enough. 

 

Today we had a mock competition and overall I think everyone did their best! It was awesome to see the fruit of their labors come into fruition.  What I am taking issue with is the fairness of the judgement.  Do I think my daughter was scored fairly? I actually do.  Do I think others were?  Not so much.  You see, some of them are what I would kinda, actually consider, "favorites".  It just miffs me a bit.  Guess what?  You are going to find this shocking......I am going to tell you why!

 

When preferential treatment is given to some, only the ones given said treatment are generally going to reach success. What is the hope for those who aren't given the same?  Why should they even try? My hope is they will rise above the circumstance, take every opportunity given to them and kick the butts of those given preference.  Please don't think me a poor sport!  I do believe the girls who came out ahead today were deserving. Truthfully, I watch them work on their craft and am completely amazed at what they accomplish! Furthermore, it isn't their fault they are chosen. The issue for me is how difficult it becomes for someone to be impartial when put in a position of judging their own work and/or prodigies if you will.  Just do the opposite of Nike's slogan, "Don't do it!".  I would have thought more of the results had impartial evaluation taken place. I know! I know! Do I want some wine with my cheese? I think I may even be repeating myself at this point. 

 

The question became are these girls ready to compete? My opinion, yes I have one, we won't know until we put them out there. When it became a matter to be voted on, after a heated debate, I abstained from voting because I felt too conflicted to put my opinion out there. I believe as a whole the coach is the best judge of readiness. I also believe what I heard from another parent, others are already competing, being critiqued and improving on their abilities.  We are coming in behind the game! What really struck me about this heated debate was every time a dash of nepotism was thrown in, the parent threw it back as a reminder they are a team.  What a cool drink of water, eh? 

 

In conclusion, it doesn't matter if it costs everyone the same financially because some will ultimately pay more than others.

 

Sincerely,

The Queen of Insanity

 

 

 

 

What I Deal With

My offspring keep me on my tippy toes at all times.  There is no rest for the weary people!  It should come as no surprise to you my life is a three ring circus, therefore, you won't be anything less than entertained by this week in review.

First of all, the fire department visited Sarah's kindergarten class last Thursday.  She arrived off the bus in full chatter about all the things she had learned from their visit.  Just to name a few, "Stop, drop, roll - and cover your face!", "In an emergency call 9-1-1" and "Never, EVER play with matches! EVER!" It never ceases to amaze me how much Sarah takes in from the world and this was no exception.  In fact, the entire family had to hear about her escape plan, how we should never play with matches and it's okay if the dogs are still in the house, even if we make it out first because the firemen will save them.  She's a smart kid, I'll give her that.  However, smart can be made into a compound word: smart ass.  See how easy that was?  Before you judge me for calling my sweet little five year old a smart ass - you should live with her!  Truthfully, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree but for all intense purposes this is the best description I could give for her.

Fast forward to Monday afternoon....

Sarah gets home from school and we are just hanging out enjoying some quality time.  I decide to go out on the deck and enjoy some sunshine with my cigarette (Calm down people! I smoke outside and yes, I know smoking is likely going to kill me but it's my vice so give me a break, alright?) I light up my cigarette and take a little drag and sit my lighter on the table.  Sarah comes out back, looks at me, looks at the lighter and then back at me as she moves her hand towards my lighter. Her finger extends and there it is!  Her little pointer finger is on the lighter and she exclaims, "Well look at that!  Nothing!  Nothing is happening Mom!  My teacher was sooooooooo wrong!"  I couldn't help but laugh and think to myself that this child will be the death of me.  Seriously, she is the last apple to fall in the basket and her mind is sharp as a tack.  Lest we forget that I am coming up on my 29k birthday and by the time she is a teenager I am going to be completely exhausted, out of whitty comebacks and 100% certifiable.  Pray for me!

On Tuesday, one of my teenage daughters came home from school and informed me that one of the emu/goth girls at school shaved her head, leaving only a Mohawk on top of her head.  Lovely, right? Then an update on the pregnant girl (8th grade...ugggg), she is apparently back at school.  I write this as if I had previously mentioned it and I haven't.  I seriously can't imagine it and will just leave it at that - she's back at school.  This is where the story shows my advance maternal age - She tells me one of the boys was stoned at school. Alright before I go on, she continued on to say he got suspended because he was high at school and apparently dealing drugs.  My story couldn't proceed without me throwing that little tidbit in there because once I tell you my immediate after she told me he was stoned at school, you will not even care there was more because you'll be too busy thinking what a moron I am! 

Her: Mom, a boy was stoned at school today! 

In my mind:  STONED?  Why would they ever do such a thing in this day and age?  Where were the teachers?  Holy Mackerel....what is this world coming to?  Where did they get the stones to throw at him?

Me:  Do you mean he was high?

No, I'm not old enough to remember a time when anyone anywhere was stoned.  This is a perfect example of growing older and wanting to pretend like MY kids don't know the lingo. 

Sadly, I am of that age.

Moving on to Wednesday, both of my eighth grade children came home from school and confessed they both got in trouble at school.  What is wrong with them?  Why do they feel it necessary to confess all of their transgressions to me?  I would have never busted myself out if I knew my parents weren't going to find out.  I guess it's a sign of the relationship we have. I think as a parent it is very difficult to pretend to agree with the "establishment" for the sake of solidarity.  Anyone else find this challenging? May be I should clarify what I mean here. 

Lets say your child gets a lunch detention for not completing a homework assignment. She thought she finished it in her support class. Much to her dismay this wasn't the case and therefore there must be a consequence.  For the record, I am down with consequences but in my opinion the punishment must fit the crime. Someone please tell me what happened to the days when you turned incomplete work in, it was simply reflected in your grade?  They are apparently gone with the wind. Here is what happened to my daughter. First her teacher sent her to sit in the hall to fill out her lunch detention paperwork and proceeded to forget about her.  So she sat out in the hall, (Because let's face it, who wants to risk more trouble by reminding the teacher you are out there?) and missed the entire day's lesson.  Honestly!!!!!!  I just do NOT understand this thought process at all! Let me get this straight, my A.D.D. child (probably the reason she thought her homework was done and in fact wasn't) was sent to the hall, forgotten about and missed the entire days lesson, then had to sit in the cafeteria at a "special" table to further her punishment?  WOW! Lesson learned, no doubt. 

The other rebellious child was given a color change and a five point deduction from her grade.  Why?  The better question here is: Why are they giving color changes to 8th graders??  HA!  In the 8th grade they are required to have a flash drive.  The assignment was a power point presentation and due on the flash drive.  Never mind if she knows how to use one or not, or say her mother!  The night before the presentation was due, she had completed her work and transferred it to the flash drive - or in this case did not transfer the assignment.  According to her father, she was very excited and proud of herself to have figured it out all on her own.  She went to school and low and behold, no presentation on the flash drive!  Again, I am okay with consequence.  In this situation however, what is the point?  Your expectation is to hand a child a flash drive and expect they or their parent knows how to use it?  EERRRRRR  Point deduction fine - but a pointless color change?  Come on, really?

My point is this: There are kids at their school doing far worse things (please see above) and they are handing out lunch detention because a kid didn't complete their assignment?  I have never heard of such a thing until now.  What has our world come to? 

Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity