Here I sit at 1:12am....yes A.M.! I would much rather be sleeping but instead I am sitting here on the computer chatting it up with you. Please don't take offense, I am just overly tired and apparently all jacked up on caffeine.
I have a doctor's appointment scheduled for tomorrow morning at 8 o'clock in the morning. Why did I take such an early appointment time??? Seriously, I have no idea what I was thinking. Truth be told, I went to bed at 11:15pm. I laid there and was about to fall asleep when Sarah, being the sweet little thing she is, decided it was time for a recorder concert. Before I forget, I would like to say a great big THANK YOU to Grandpa Tim for that lovely little instrument. You shouldn't have....far too kind! After about 5 minutes of this, I called her into my room and asked her to cuddle with me so I could fall asleep. This worked like a charm for her....yup, she is up there sleeping in my bed snoring away with her father.
In other news; My day started out like any other, I rolled out of bed, got dressed and headed out for my morning Overla Mocha - Large! When I got home, everyone was still sleeping. What else would my children be doing at 11 in the morning? DUH! I attempted to straighten up the house, start some laundry and mosey (is that how you spell that? I am sure spellcheck will let me know.) around the house doing this and that. Slowly the children began to rise and shine....
Since I had a hair appointment (corrective stray gray treatment) and knew I was leaving the kids here, I decided I would blow up their pool and fill it. I laid the pool out and went to the garage to retrieve the air compressor - You didn't think I would blow that up with all my hot air did you???? I am a smoker for crying out loud! You should know better! With compressor in hand, I step out onto the deck and there is Torros destroying the pool. SON OF A PREACHER MAN!!!! That dog had dropped his kong on top of the pool and proceeded to try and pick it up. Due to the fact that he is sporting a plastic cone around his head, it wasn't just a matter of him reaching down and snatching it up, oh no my friends, this was all out war - just ask the pool! Every time he tried to pick it up, the cone would knock the kong to another area of the pool. Point of this story....we no longer have the ability to put air in the pool and my kids were not able to swim.
Now before you go and turn me into P.E.T.A. or The Humane Society, it's important for you to realize that I have been dealing with Torros aka Cone head Stinky Butt for the past week. Why? Because a week ago while in pursuit of a "bad guy" he stepped in a pile of broken mirror and got a 1/2" x 1/2" gash in his paw. This gash required him to be knocked out so they could place seven staples in his wound. Guess what that meant? LUCKY ME!!!!!!!!! He got a doctor's excuse to be off of work for a week until he gets the staples out.
Torros is a high energy dog, which is a nice way of saying he needs Ritalin. He is well trained and excels at sniffing out bombs, tracking down bad guys and playtime. He absolutely sucks at calm, relaxing behavior. Torros will lay down and pass out on occasion but if you so much as move a hair, he is up and at em' within a mila-second. NO LIE! Now if I was lucky enough to get him to pass out, he would just pass gas...over and over and over. My house stinks like a big ole gastric mess! Ugggg. Back to the cone, it has become an unintentional weapon for him. He can't move without knocking into something or someone. I have little nicks all over my legs where he has run into me. Let's just say he is lucky to have survived this past week and lets just leave it at that!
Okay, I am exhausted so I am going to try and sleep now....
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
p.s. Torros got the bad guy despite his injury!
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
Party Planning
One winter night my bestie and I were trying to think up something to have a party for this summer. We are really into theme parties but not your everyday party themes. You might remember we had an Ugly Christmas Sweater Party in December. We really liked the idea of a summer formal party - let me clarify "formal" this would be a thrift store formal party. We are all about saving a buck! We also considered a Kentucky Derby Hat party. In the end, we just decided since Scott was turning 40 this year, we didn't need another reason to have a party. This party would be at our land which consists of 12 acres of raw land.
Scott's party is less than two weeks away. Can I tell you something? I just started thinking about planning this party that I sent out a facebook invite for a couple months go. My friends, I am not sure which part of my shortcomings this falls under. Lots of great ideas, no follow thru? Procrastination? Self-Diagnosed A.D.D.? O.D.D. formerly known as O.D.? I just do not know! For right now, we are going to go with A.D.D., shall we? I planned to plan for this party, I swear I did! I am not sure where I fell off the wagon. I kept thinking, "There's plenty of time yet!" and I am almost positive another thought crept up in my mind, "When Scott gets paid next time, I will get......." Either way this party is coming up fast and the past few days I have been trying to get it together.
Here is what I have accomplished thus far:
1. Painted shed
2. Updated facebook invite with pertinent information
3. Bought 160 Oscar Meyer hot dogs (no buns yet...note to self), 3 cases of water, cups for beer, plates, table clothes, pop, baked beans, stuff for bean salad and handi-wipes.
4. Made mason jar lanterns...okay, the kids made them after I told them to do it!
5. Hung mason jar lanterns.
6. Mowed some grass at the land.
7. Made a party flyer for Scott to put in friends mailboxes at work.
8. Decided that my posse and I will be reincorporating Kentucky Derby style hats into this party. I mean after all, we are and will be the life of Scott's party.
Side note: When I asked Scott if he was going to get hammered at his party he shrugged his shoulders and said, "I dunno" in a very unenthusiastic tone. Really? You really don't know? I am all ready planning for my hangover the day after his party and he isn't even sure he's going to get drunk at his own birthday party! So again I say, my posse and I will be the life of his party...it's just the way it's gotta be.
And I think that concludes what I have planned thus far for this party.
What needs to be done:
Final mowing of grass
Set up
Buy Chips
Buy hot dog buns
Buy more pop
And a whole bunch more stuff that I can't even think about right now. I can tell you what I know has to be done....Pick up the keg and special stash of Summer Shandy for the Queen of Insanity and her court. If you are coming to the party and aren't sure if you are in my court (aka: posse) you better find out fast because the Shandy is off limits to anyone who isn't. Sorry, it's the way it's gotta be!
Can we just be honest here for a minute? This party might end up being a total flop if I don't get my astronaut in gear...Even if I don't, I will have fun because that is how I roll.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Scott's party is less than two weeks away. Can I tell you something? I just started thinking about planning this party that I sent out a facebook invite for a couple months go. My friends, I am not sure which part of my shortcomings this falls under. Lots of great ideas, no follow thru? Procrastination? Self-Diagnosed A.D.D.? O.D.D. formerly known as O.D.? I just do not know! For right now, we are going to go with A.D.D., shall we? I planned to plan for this party, I swear I did! I am not sure where I fell off the wagon. I kept thinking, "There's plenty of time yet!" and I am almost positive another thought crept up in my mind, "When Scott gets paid next time, I will get......." Either way this party is coming up fast and the past few days I have been trying to get it together.
Here is what I have accomplished thus far:
1. Painted shed
2. Updated facebook invite with pertinent information
3. Bought 160 Oscar Meyer hot dogs (no buns yet...note to self), 3 cases of water, cups for beer, plates, table clothes, pop, baked beans, stuff for bean salad and handi-wipes.
4. Made mason jar lanterns...okay, the kids made them after I told them to do it!
5. Hung mason jar lanterns.
6. Mowed some grass at the land.
7. Made a party flyer for Scott to put in friends mailboxes at work.
8. Decided that my posse and I will be reincorporating Kentucky Derby style hats into this party. I mean after all, we are and will be the life of Scott's party.
Side note: When I asked Scott if he was going to get hammered at his party he shrugged his shoulders and said, "I dunno" in a very unenthusiastic tone. Really? You really don't know? I am all ready planning for my hangover the day after his party and he isn't even sure he's going to get drunk at his own birthday party! So again I say, my posse and I will be the life of his party...it's just the way it's gotta be.
And I think that concludes what I have planned thus far for this party.
What needs to be done:
Final mowing of grass
Set up
Buy Chips
Buy hot dog buns
Buy more pop
And a whole bunch more stuff that I can't even think about right now. I can tell you what I know has to be done....Pick up the keg and special stash of Summer Shandy for the Queen of Insanity and her court. If you are coming to the party and aren't sure if you are in my court (aka: posse) you better find out fast because the Shandy is off limits to anyone who isn't. Sorry, it's the way it's gotta be!
Can we just be honest here for a minute? This party might end up being a total flop if I don't get my astronaut in gear...Even if I don't, I will have fun because that is how I roll.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Sunday's Activities
When I woke up this morning I realized that while I was off in Lala Painting World, the rest of my house had gone to hell in a hand basket (Do people still use this phrase? I mean besides me). I decided while everyone was still sleeping - at noon no less - I would start getting the house picked up.
My first act in cleaning was to gather up all 1200 pairs of shoes which were laying all over my house. In an effort to help the children, I put all the shoes into an empty laundry basket along with any of their belongings I came across. There they would wait until the children got up because after all, this isn't the Holiday Inn! Now that I think of it, I do believe my children think this is a hotel.
Anyone who has been to my house can tell you a great majority of the time my chalkboard reads, "This ain't no Holiday Inn..Pick up your belongings!" Still they leave their crap laying everywhere, like I am a maid service. As I was typing this I remembered the tag line for another hotel chain, "We'll leave a light on". Well heck yeah my kids will leave a light on for you....I can assure you that! It could be the sunniest day of the year, the sunlight blaring in and they will turn a light on where ever they go. I love kids!
By three o'clock everyone was up and about, Scott had made us breakfast (Don't you judge!) and we gathered up some things to take with us out to our land for the evening; ie; fishing poles, hot dogs, marshmallows, extra clothes, rain boots, paint (I forgot to mention in the last blog that is what actually started the O.D.D.), kids and of course, the kitchen sink. By the time we finally got to the land which is approximately 15 minutes from our house, it was around 4:30p.m. Scott immediately went to work finishing the painting on the roof of the shed. Michelle and I had painted the shed itself the week before in preparation for Scott's 40th birthday party. You see, the shed had some nasty words on it that someone had spray painted several years ago. If we were going to have a party there, something had to be done about the wordy dirds, right? Right, so we took care of it and yes, this is actually what started my downward spiral into O.D.D. - if you don't know what O.D.D. means, you need to read the previous blog Paint -Mmmmmkay?
Tonight at the land, I learned to use the John Deere Tractor and mowed the grass. I fear that someone is going to pick on me because while I was getting used to the tractor, I did a lot of crop circles! I just know my father-in-law or brother-in-law are going to go out there for something and see my tracks...and then the harassment will begin! Oh well, I got a lot of mowing done. Michelle and her two youngest kids also came out. Scott helped them fish because out of the six girls only one will put a worm on a hook or take a fish off a hook to throw it back. When I finally figured out how to stop the tractor, Michelle and I hung out for a bit, we walked around the land surveying for the party and hung up my latest GENIUS idea - Mason jar lanterns. I must say that this is one of my better ideas - they worked fabulously when it got dark.
In conclusion, today I learned that my kids think this is the Motel 8, how to ride a John Deere tractor, that Michelle is an awesome hot dog/marshmallow roaster and I am pretty sure my kids are drinking 5 hour energy drinks when I am not looking!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
My first act in cleaning was to gather up all 1200 pairs of shoes which were laying all over my house. In an effort to help the children, I put all the shoes into an empty laundry basket along with any of their belongings I came across. There they would wait until the children got up because after all, this isn't the Holiday Inn! Now that I think of it, I do believe my children think this is a hotel.
Anyone who has been to my house can tell you a great majority of the time my chalkboard reads, "This ain't no Holiday Inn..Pick up your belongings!" Still they leave their crap laying everywhere, like I am a maid service. As I was typing this I remembered the tag line for another hotel chain, "We'll leave a light on". Well heck yeah my kids will leave a light on for you....I can assure you that! It could be the sunniest day of the year, the sunlight blaring in and they will turn a light on where ever they go. I love kids!
By three o'clock everyone was up and about, Scott had made us breakfast (Don't you judge!) and we gathered up some things to take with us out to our land for the evening; ie; fishing poles, hot dogs, marshmallows, extra clothes, rain boots, paint (I forgot to mention in the last blog that is what actually started the O.D.D.), kids and of course, the kitchen sink. By the time we finally got to the land which is approximately 15 minutes from our house, it was around 4:30p.m. Scott immediately went to work finishing the painting on the roof of the shed. Michelle and I had painted the shed itself the week before in preparation for Scott's 40th birthday party. You see, the shed had some nasty words on it that someone had spray painted several years ago. If we were going to have a party there, something had to be done about the wordy dirds, right? Right, so we took care of it and yes, this is actually what started my downward spiral into O.D.D. - if you don't know what O.D.D. means, you need to read the previous blog Paint -Mmmmmkay?
Tonight at the land, I learned to use the John Deere Tractor and mowed the grass. I fear that someone is going to pick on me because while I was getting used to the tractor, I did a lot of crop circles! I just know my father-in-law or brother-in-law are going to go out there for something and see my tracks...and then the harassment will begin! Oh well, I got a lot of mowing done. Michelle and her two youngest kids also came out. Scott helped them fish because out of the six girls only one will put a worm on a hook or take a fish off a hook to throw it back. When I finally figured out how to stop the tractor, Michelle and I hung out for a bit, we walked around the land surveying for the party and hung up my latest GENIUS idea - Mason jar lanterns. I must say that this is one of my better ideas - they worked fabulously when it got dark.
In conclusion, today I learned that my kids think this is the Motel 8, how to ride a John Deere tractor, that Michelle is an awesome hot dog/marshmallow roaster and I am pretty sure my kids are drinking 5 hour energy drinks when I am not looking!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Paint
Yes, I know I am a failure at keeping up on my blog. The problem and I am not sure if I have mentioned it before but I am positive I suffer from A.D.D. (I can't add either-HA). I have only been self-diagnosed and there is no over the counter treatment other than heavily caffeinated beverages that I have been able to find. I digress...
My blog, yeah, I have trouble staying focused on things. Primarily my weakness is follow through, wrapping it up, staying on task and dare I say completion? Now I have endless great ideas, I just can't see them to fruition a majority of the time. It's a blessing and a curse my friends. A blessing in the respect that more than likely my lack of focus has kept me from wild, dangerous or just plain bad ideas. The curse of it is I am 100% positive that I am a freaking genius trapped in my own mind! If you took a look around my house right now you would see lots of "Active" projects and very few "Finished" projects. Oh but I have not mentioned my other quality - Overdrive (I am sure some might consider it manic).
Overdrive, yes, yes, it is a serious problem. Again, this is a similar condition to the one I pick on my sister about...O.C.D. *Can I just say I frackin' love abbreviations?* In staying with the abbrevs. theme, we will now refer to "overdrive" as "O.D." <= See what did I tell you? GENIUS! O.D. is a horrible thing to suffer from. You start something and can't quit - sorta like my smoking habit! As an example; last week I decided that while Emma was gone for a couple days at her Grandmother's house I was going to clean her bedroom and paint it. I worked on her room for every bit of 36 hours in two days! It took me 30 hours to clean it, 2 hours to paint it, 1.5 hours to reorganize it and another 2.5 hours lecturing her about what a disgusting pigsty her room had been. Geesh! Can't a Mother get a break? Ahhh whatever ~ YAY ME! I completed one project...woohooooooo! Now I feel, well downright bored. Hmmmm....I know what I can do! Paint another room...yeah yeah yeah!
Abigail had wanted to paint her room from the minute she moved into it. I don't know why she took a sudden turn against the color pink but I made her live with it for at least a year. At this point I felt like her torture should cease and decided to let her have her way. I was shocked when she picked an aqua blue and wait for it.....wait for it.....asparagus green. Seriously people Asparagus!?! I didn't share her vision but wanting something to do, I agreed. After all, it is her room and I believe in self expression to the extent I see fit. We painted her room and it took far less time than Emma's room did because, ummmm, well I think you can figure that part out. It took us one evening and one morning to wrap everything up. I would also like to mention, her vision turned out fabulous!
The next day I somehow managed (beer) to (beer) sucker (BEER) my b.f.f.f. into coming over and helping me paint the room next to Abigail's. I offered her free beer for her free labor and in support of my O.D. - Shishkabob! I just realized "O.D." is all ready taken. Dagnab it! Do you think if I just added another "D" that would solve the problem? O.D.D. = Overdrive Disorder? Or do you think that is too odd? BLAHAHAHAHAHA Did I mention I was sleep deprived from the O.D.D.? Refocusing now....so Michelle agrees to come over and paint with me. No, we didn't end up drinking beer. We thought it might be irresponsible to paint and drink beer so we went with Malibu and lite fruit punch. Nothing like a fruity chick drink to keep you on task - As a disclaimer; we are experienced professionals drinkers (E.P.D'S) and we do not, I repeat, DO NOT advocate drinking and painting at the same time. Alas, we got the room done despite the fact that we were up till the wee hours of the night, Git R Done! That's our motto.
Today I spent the day putting up a border around the room and finally after (and this is where my A.D.D. comes into play) a year and half of buying the paint and border, GOT R DONE!
So yeah....the overdrive disorder is running me right now. I haven't slept enough or gone to bed early enough. My kids think summer break means hanging out with me 24/7, so as long as I am up, they are up. I have tried and tried to get them to go to bed earlier to no avail. They know my A.D.D. will kick in and I will forget that I even told them to go to bed because I got side-tracked by a pretty shiny thing somewhere...
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity, A.D.D., O.D. or O.D.D. and E.P.D'S
My blog, yeah, I have trouble staying focused on things. Primarily my weakness is follow through, wrapping it up, staying on task and dare I say completion? Now I have endless great ideas, I just can't see them to fruition a majority of the time. It's a blessing and a curse my friends. A blessing in the respect that more than likely my lack of focus has kept me from wild, dangerous or just plain bad ideas. The curse of it is I am 100% positive that I am a freaking genius trapped in my own mind! If you took a look around my house right now you would see lots of "Active" projects and very few "Finished" projects. Oh but I have not mentioned my other quality - Overdrive (I am sure some might consider it manic).
Overdrive, yes, yes, it is a serious problem. Again, this is a similar condition to the one I pick on my sister about...O.C.D. *Can I just say I frackin' love abbreviations?* In staying with the abbrevs. theme, we will now refer to "overdrive" as "O.D." <= See what did I tell you? GENIUS! O.D. is a horrible thing to suffer from. You start something and can't quit - sorta like my smoking habit! As an example; last week I decided that while Emma was gone for a couple days at her Grandmother's house I was going to clean her bedroom and paint it. I worked on her room for every bit of 36 hours in two days! It took me 30 hours to clean it, 2 hours to paint it, 1.5 hours to reorganize it and another 2.5 hours lecturing her about what a disgusting pigsty her room had been. Geesh! Can't a Mother get a break? Ahhh whatever ~ YAY ME! I completed one project...woohooooooo! Now I feel, well downright bored. Hmmmm....I know what I can do! Paint another room...yeah yeah yeah!
Abigail had wanted to paint her room from the minute she moved into it. I don't know why she took a sudden turn against the color pink but I made her live with it for at least a year. At this point I felt like her torture should cease and decided to let her have her way. I was shocked when she picked an aqua blue and wait for it.....wait for it.....asparagus green. Seriously people Asparagus!?! I didn't share her vision but wanting something to do, I agreed. After all, it is her room and I believe in self expression to the extent I see fit. We painted her room and it took far less time than Emma's room did because, ummmm, well I think you can figure that part out. It took us one evening and one morning to wrap everything up. I would also like to mention, her vision turned out fabulous!
The next day I somehow managed (beer) to (beer) sucker (BEER) my b.f.f.f. into coming over and helping me paint the room next to Abigail's. I offered her free beer for her free labor and in support of my O.D. - Shishkabob! I just realized "O.D." is all ready taken. Dagnab it! Do you think if I just added another "D" that would solve the problem? O.D.D. = Overdrive Disorder? Or do you think that is too odd? BLAHAHAHAHAHA Did I mention I was sleep deprived from the O.D.D.? Refocusing now....so Michelle agrees to come over and paint with me. No, we didn't end up drinking beer. We thought it might be irresponsible to paint and drink beer so we went with Malibu and lite fruit punch. Nothing like a fruity chick drink to keep you on task - As a disclaimer; we are experienced professionals drinkers (E.P.D'S) and we do not, I repeat, DO NOT advocate drinking and painting at the same time. Alas, we got the room done despite the fact that we were up till the wee hours of the night, Git R Done! That's our motto.
Today I spent the day putting up a border around the room and finally after (and this is where my A.D.D. comes into play) a year and half of buying the paint and border, GOT R DONE!
So yeah....the overdrive disorder is running me right now. I haven't slept enough or gone to bed early enough. My kids think summer break means hanging out with me 24/7, so as long as I am up, they are up. I have tried and tried to get them to go to bed earlier to no avail. They know my A.D.D. will kick in and I will forget that I even told them to go to bed because I got side-tracked by a pretty shiny thing somewhere...
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity, A.D.D., O.D. or O.D.D. and E.P.D'S
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