Right? We could all lie and say this is a great time of year. A time in which one gets to see family and friends that you haven't seen since this time last year. Holiday parties, good treats, joy, joy JOY! Here is what I think about the holiday; Financial doom that you will be paying back for years to come!
I know I seem doom and gloom right now but this is reality my friends! I have never been good at holding my tongue and more importantly not speaking the truth, even when it hurts. The bottom line here is I have four children that I (I mean "Santa") must provide holiday bliss to. Holiday bliss does not come cheap when your kids get past the toy years. Why can't my twins just be happy with a pack of gum and a baby doll? Oh no, they want ipod touches, digital cameras, netbooks and other electronics. I am sure many of you reading this can relate. If you can't relate, thank your lucky stars that you are free from these worries.
In my case, having same-sex twins, it is especially difficult. Why? Well here's the thing, they both ask for entirely different things or sometimes the same things. This year it was different things but now I am worried that when one or the other discovers what the other got they might not be so happy about the gifts they received. One of them asked for something a little more expensive than the other so now I have to even up the anty by getting more for the other. I can see Christmas morning now; WHY DID SHE GET 5 GIFTS AND I ONLY GOT 2? God help them if they act ungrateful for the presents they get! My fragile ego can't take it.
Anyway, I have decided that due to my current economic crisis (IE; destroyed rental property and extra mortgage payment responsibility. Oh and lest we not forget, still paying for last years' Christmas gifts) that I am not buying gifts for anyone in our family above the age of 18. Sorry people, I love you all but that's all you are getting this year - my love!
Since I haven't updated my blog in awhile I will give you a quick run down of my activities over the past couple of weeks:
First of all, a couple weeks ago I had an endometrial ablation. I am hoping that this is the best thing I have ever done for myself. I have to tell you, even if it doesn't work 100% with my period issues, I did get some good quality sleep via anesthesia. Gotta love that!
Secondly, Michelle and I had a Tacky Christmas Sweater Party! It was loads of fun and will become a yearly tradition.
Lastly, I have been helping periodically with the rental house. I can only be there for brief periods of time because I get so pissed off while I am there I want to do my own damage in there. I took a bed apart this week and drug it to the curb for bulk pick-up and tore down some wallpaper. That was my humble contribution.
Anyway, that's it from here.....well for now anyway.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity (Truly, I am the leader in this department!)
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Stressed? Who me? Couldn't Be!
WARNING: THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG ONE!
Obviously I have been neglecting my responsibilities lately as a blogger. I would apologize but I am just too stressed out to care.I realize that everyone has stress now and again or for periods of time but right now, I feel like I can't catch a break in the stress department lately.
For starters, November 1st, I went to my mailbox to retrieve the mail and found an envelope from my renters. WOW! Could it be? Say it isn't so? They are paying their rent on time? It's an early Christmas miracle! I should have known it was too good to be true as they have only ever paid their rent on time once before, the month they moved in! I proceeded to open the envelope only to discover a 30 day notice stating that they would be vacating the premises by the end of the month. I immediately digress into panic mode. Holy crap! I don't have the money to pay the mortgage in December (I still don't) and crap we will also have to come up with the money to return their deposit right before Christmas - OH HOLY NIGHT!!!!
Being a un-organized planner, I quickly begin plotting out how I am going to handle this dreaded situation. First I think, okay may be we can get someone in there by December 1st and the whole matter would be resolved without issue. I was so convinced of this plan, I put the house on Craig's List a couple days after getting the 30 day notice. In the two weeks I had it listed I got three responses - new plan needed ASAP!
Next I thought, if this finding a new renter doesn't pan out, I could just use a portion of Scott's Christmas bonus check to pay the mortgage in December. Then I realized if I followed through with this particular idea, my kids would not have much under the tree this year. We are talking a candy cane and a lump of coal here people! And that's if they are having a four for the price of one sale on each of those items. I almost immediately decided against that preposterous idea!
Lastly, the money will fall into our laps, right? HA! I am still waiting for THAT miracle to pan out!
On the 23rd, we got a call from our renters' stating that they had locked the keys and the garage door opener in the house. The next day Scott and I make the trek over to our old house. We arrived with high hopes there would only be a few minor repairs and we could get the house rented by December 1st. With notebook and pen in hand, we entered the house.
There are no appropriate or legal words I can use in this blog to describe the anger and despair I felt when we started to walk through the house, making our list and checking it twice. Olivia and Sarah had come along with us and I was wishing that either I had left them at home or had packed a hazmat suit for them to wear. There is no other word to describe the state of the house other than filthy. I am not even sure that covers it. On the bright side, I am no longer worried about coming up with their deposit money! In fact, I now wish I had to return their deposit money. Five hundred dollars would have been a drop in the bucket compared to what it will cost our all ready broke selves to repair this home to a livable condition. I digress.....
I will be happy to see the month of November pass at midnight tonight! It has been a rough month. I have forgotten to pay several different bills (Remember, I am an un-organized planner! "Un-organized" being the keyword.). How do I know that I forgot to pay my trash collector, cable bill and Sam's Club account? Well these very friendly bill collectors called and gently reminded me that I should pay them or else...Ha!
My favorite call was from the people at Sam's Club. Actually, it was a company, that will remain nameless since I don't need any more trouble over in my neck of the woods! The company handles the "credit" accounts for Sam's Club. Actually, this would have been the company that handles the delinquent accounts for the second company. Anyway, the caller started out by informing me that my account was in arrears and that she was there to help me. "HELP ME?" Sister, people better than you have tried to "help" me and failed but whatever. I asked her exactly how she was going to help me out - "Are you going to erase what I owe?" I mean that would be extremely helpful in these economic times! All kidding aside, I pulled out that statement and informed her that I got a five page, front and back bill that states I didn't owe anything that month. Furthermore, I haven't received any other bill in two months AND I haven't been able to access my online account for at least three months! She informed me that I needed to call the credit company directly, not to be confused with Sam's Club - okay, you following all this? Before she let me go she asked if I wanted to go ahead and post-date a check to pay my bill for the next three months. Uh, that would be a no!
I call the credit card company and go through the lovely automated system for what seemed like an eternity before getting to "Mike". Immediately, I realize that this dude's name is no way, no how Mike. May be Peggy but not Mike - Have you seen that commercial? The conversation went like this:
"Mike": Can you verify your home phone number?
Me: stated my home phone number
"Mike": That is not the number we have listed Miss Downing.
Me: Well, then I don't know who's account you are looking at "Mike" because THAT is my number!
"Mike": Are you sure that you don't have another home number listed Miss Downing?
Me: Yes "MIKE"! That is the ONLY home number I have EVER had listed on this account!
"Mike": Are you sure that you don't have another home phone number listed Miss Downing?
Me: Mike, put me through to someone in the United States, RIGHT NOW!
My suspiscions were immediately confirmed....I was holding on the line to speak with a good old fashioned American! Hallelujah! Or may be not...
American: Hello? (Irritated before I begin to speak- Great!)
Me: Hi! I am calling in regards to my account and this non-sense that I am in arrears.
American: Did you call this number directly or were you transferred? (snotty tone)
Me: Transferred! I am just trying to figure out what is going on with my account (explained the situation)
American: Can you verify your home phone number?
Me: State my phone number - "sigh"
American: Ma'am that is not the home phone we have listed on your account!
Me: Really?Well, I am not sure WHAT number you have listed but I assure you this is my HOME PHONE!
American: We have that listed as your business number!
Me: Hmmmpf! Please change that, it's my home number and can we discuss my account now?
American: You are behind in payments!
Me: Well, I wouldn't be if I was getting correct statements - explained 5 pg front and back bill
American: Ma'am you have a balance on that account. How could you think you wouldn't have a payment?
Me: Uh, you sent me a bill that said I didn't have a payment this month! Not to mention that I haven't been able to get online to check my account for the past two months! Furthermore, if you got a bill that said you didn't have a payment due, you wouldn't pay it either.
American: The reason you haven't been able to access your account is because you reported your card lost or stolen in August. When you report your card lost/stolen we close off all access to anything on that account!
Me: Oh yeah, I did have to get a new card in August (you may recall the gas pump eating my card).
American: You needed to go in and register your new card to get access to any online services.
Me: Oh Really? Why didn't anyone tell me that I needed to do that? I mean, I had no idea that I needed to do that. I assumed you all would just change the account info in all the records.
American: Ma'am it is your responsibility as the consumer to handle that. I mean, we just assume that our customers are responsible borrowers and handle their credit in a proper manner.
***AT THIS POINT MY BLOOD IS BOILING AND I NEED TO EXIT SITUATION ASAP***
Me: Oh okay, I didn't realize that I needed telepathic abilities to have an account with your company! (what I wished I had said) What I really said was, "How much do I need to pay to be current if I pay something on Friday?" and "How much and when is the next payment due after that?"
American: Answered my question
Me: HANGIN UP!
See, I have no stress? What really gets me in this situation is why in the name of all things holy are all these companies sending their costumer service positions overseas? I didn't buy or borrow this item in India, albeit, it could have been made there! It is totally and completely frustrating!
As soon as I was done with this situation, I had a meeting a school with Abigail's teacher. I was very fearful about going because I might just blow a gasket and they'd call the police on me! The meeting went fine and we got a lot of stuff ironed out.
The stress just goes on and on....I got the other two calls today and I just paid one of them and the other I will pay on Friday. I am to the point of just not caring. What else can you do? You either have the brains and the money combined in order to pay the bill or you don't. If you don't you can rest assured someone will be there to remind you.
I don't know what's going to happen with the rental house but I have had several friends suggest burning the place down. I think they are on to something! In the meantime, I am sitting here catching up on my blogs, listening to my kids whine about everything under the sun to avoid going to bed and my husband is off at a cabin hanging out with friends and preparing to go deer hunting in the morning! Lucky him!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Obviously I have been neglecting my responsibilities lately as a blogger. I would apologize but I am just too stressed out to care.I realize that everyone has stress now and again or for periods of time but right now, I feel like I can't catch a break in the stress department lately.
For starters, November 1st, I went to my mailbox to retrieve the mail and found an envelope from my renters. WOW! Could it be? Say it isn't so? They are paying their rent on time? It's an early Christmas miracle! I should have known it was too good to be true as they have only ever paid their rent on time once before, the month they moved in! I proceeded to open the envelope only to discover a 30 day notice stating that they would be vacating the premises by the end of the month. I immediately digress into panic mode. Holy crap! I don't have the money to pay the mortgage in December (I still don't) and crap we will also have to come up with the money to return their deposit right before Christmas - OH HOLY NIGHT!!!!
Being a un-organized planner, I quickly begin plotting out how I am going to handle this dreaded situation. First I think, okay may be we can get someone in there by December 1st and the whole matter would be resolved without issue. I was so convinced of this plan, I put the house on Craig's List a couple days after getting the 30 day notice. In the two weeks I had it listed I got three responses - new plan needed ASAP!
Next I thought, if this finding a new renter doesn't pan out, I could just use a portion of Scott's Christmas bonus check to pay the mortgage in December. Then I realized if I followed through with this particular idea, my kids would not have much under the tree this year. We are talking a candy cane and a lump of coal here people! And that's if they are having a four for the price of one sale on each of those items. I almost immediately decided against that preposterous idea!
Lastly, the money will fall into our laps, right? HA! I am still waiting for THAT miracle to pan out!
On the 23rd, we got a call from our renters' stating that they had locked the keys and the garage door opener in the house. The next day Scott and I make the trek over to our old house. We arrived with high hopes there would only be a few minor repairs and we could get the house rented by December 1st. With notebook and pen in hand, we entered the house.
There are no appropriate or legal words I can use in this blog to describe the anger and despair I felt when we started to walk through the house, making our list and checking it twice. Olivia and Sarah had come along with us and I was wishing that either I had left them at home or had packed a hazmat suit for them to wear. There is no other word to describe the state of the house other than filthy. I am not even sure that covers it. On the bright side, I am no longer worried about coming up with their deposit money! In fact, I now wish I had to return their deposit money. Five hundred dollars would have been a drop in the bucket compared to what it will cost our all ready broke selves to repair this home to a livable condition. I digress.....
I will be happy to see the month of November pass at midnight tonight! It has been a rough month. I have forgotten to pay several different bills (Remember, I am an un-organized planner! "Un-organized" being the keyword.). How do I know that I forgot to pay my trash collector, cable bill and Sam's Club account? Well these very friendly bill collectors called and gently reminded me that I should pay them or else...Ha!
My favorite call was from the people at Sam's Club. Actually, it was a company, that will remain nameless since I don't need any more trouble over in my neck of the woods! The company handles the "credit" accounts for Sam's Club. Actually, this would have been the company that handles the delinquent accounts for the second company. Anyway, the caller started out by informing me that my account was in arrears and that she was there to help me. "HELP ME?" Sister, people better than you have tried to "help" me and failed but whatever. I asked her exactly how she was going to help me out - "Are you going to erase what I owe?" I mean that would be extremely helpful in these economic times! All kidding aside, I pulled out that statement and informed her that I got a five page, front and back bill that states I didn't owe anything that month. Furthermore, I haven't received any other bill in two months AND I haven't been able to access my online account for at least three months! She informed me that I needed to call the credit company directly, not to be confused with Sam's Club - okay, you following all this? Before she let me go she asked if I wanted to go ahead and post-date a check to pay my bill for the next three months. Uh, that would be a no!
I call the credit card company and go through the lovely automated system for what seemed like an eternity before getting to "Mike". Immediately, I realize that this dude's name is no way, no how Mike. May be Peggy but not Mike - Have you seen that commercial? The conversation went like this:
"Mike": Can you verify your home phone number?
Me: stated my home phone number
"Mike": That is not the number we have listed Miss Downing.
Me: Well, then I don't know who's account you are looking at "Mike" because THAT is my number!
"Mike": Are you sure that you don't have another home number listed Miss Downing?
Me: Yes "MIKE"! That is the ONLY home number I have EVER had listed on this account!
"Mike": Are you sure that you don't have another home phone number listed Miss Downing?
Me: Mike, put me through to someone in the United States, RIGHT NOW!
My suspiscions were immediately confirmed....I was holding on the line to speak with a good old fashioned American! Hallelujah! Or may be not...
American: Hello? (Irritated before I begin to speak- Great!)
Me: Hi! I am calling in regards to my account and this non-sense that I am in arrears.
American: Did you call this number directly or were you transferred? (snotty tone)
Me: Transferred! I am just trying to figure out what is going on with my account (explained the situation)
American: Can you verify your home phone number?
Me: State my phone number - "sigh"
American: Ma'am that is not the home phone we have listed on your account!
Me: Really?Well, I am not sure WHAT number you have listed but I assure you this is my HOME PHONE!
American: We have that listed as your business number!
Me: Hmmmpf! Please change that, it's my home number and can we discuss my account now?
American: You are behind in payments!
Me: Well, I wouldn't be if I was getting correct statements - explained 5 pg front and back bill
American: Ma'am you have a balance on that account. How could you think you wouldn't have a payment?
Me: Uh, you sent me a bill that said I didn't have a payment this month! Not to mention that I haven't been able to get online to check my account for the past two months! Furthermore, if you got a bill that said you didn't have a payment due, you wouldn't pay it either.
American: The reason you haven't been able to access your account is because you reported your card lost or stolen in August. When you report your card lost/stolen we close off all access to anything on that account!
Me: Oh yeah, I did have to get a new card in August (you may recall the gas pump eating my card).
American: You needed to go in and register your new card to get access to any online services.
Me: Oh Really? Why didn't anyone tell me that I needed to do that? I mean, I had no idea that I needed to do that. I assumed you all would just change the account info in all the records.
American: Ma'am it is your responsibility as the consumer to handle that. I mean, we just assume that our customers are responsible borrowers and handle their credit in a proper manner.
***AT THIS POINT MY BLOOD IS BOILING AND I NEED TO EXIT SITUATION ASAP***
Me: Oh okay, I didn't realize that I needed telepathic abilities to have an account with your company! (what I wished I had said) What I really said was, "How much do I need to pay to be current if I pay something on Friday?" and "How much and when is the next payment due after that?"
American: Answered my question
Me: HANGIN UP!
See, I have no stress? What really gets me in this situation is why in the name of all things holy are all these companies sending their costumer service positions overseas? I didn't buy or borrow this item in India, albeit, it could have been made there! It is totally and completely frustrating!
As soon as I was done with this situation, I had a meeting a school with Abigail's teacher. I was very fearful about going because I might just blow a gasket and they'd call the police on me! The meeting went fine and we got a lot of stuff ironed out.
The stress just goes on and on....I got the other two calls today and I just paid one of them and the other I will pay on Friday. I am to the point of just not caring. What else can you do? You either have the brains and the money combined in order to pay the bill or you don't. If you don't you can rest assured someone will be there to remind you.
I don't know what's going to happen with the rental house but I have had several friends suggest burning the place down. I think they are on to something! In the meantime, I am sitting here catching up on my blogs, listening to my kids whine about everything under the sun to avoid going to bed and my husband is off at a cabin hanging out with friends and preparing to go deer hunting in the morning! Lucky him!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
What If They Are All Black Sheep?
You know how all families claim to have a black sheep? Well, I think there are families where every last one of them are "black sheep". "Where is this coming from?, "Who is she talking about?", you might be asking yourself now. Well I can't rightly say who I am talking about! I am trying to protect my own hide here people! Let's just say I have know these people for a good while, mmmmmkay? If we are being honest here, it is probably wrong of me to be so judgemental in this circumstance but I don't even care.
Let me begin this rambling by saying that I am all for family gatherings. I love seeing my extended family that I only get to see every once in awhile. The "every once in awhile" is what makes it so great to see them! I fear that if I saw them all, all the time I would take them for granted. I think part of the wonderful relationships I have/had with my Grandparents can be attributed to not seeing them all that often! When we do/did get to see them it was special and I like "special".
My Mom's family has a get-together once a year at Christmas time. More often than not I attend because I "enjoy" seeing them and our so-called black sheep's (and I believe my Mom's family has a few black sheep) do not generally show up. However, we enjoy when at least one of them shows up to give us something to chatter about later. Shoot, one of our black sheep's was on the show Wife Swap - now that was fun for my immediate family! In short, they miss you if you can't be there but they understand if you aren't. They do not gossip (as far as I know) or talk badly about you if you happen to not attend.
My Dad's family rarely, if ever get together for anything. In our/their defense, my Dad comes from a large family. I have so many cousins that I literally do not know even half of them! Shoot, I dont' even know how many cousins I have out their! I could be walking down the street right next to them and not know who the hello kitty they were! Although, the cousins I do know and/or have met over time, almost all have the same exact personalities - myself and siblings included! We are all very fun, loving, hyper-spaz, tell it like is, your best friend who will go to the ends of the earth for you IF you don't ever cross me and make me your worst enemy kinda people. It's just in our nature. And in this case, any cousin on this side of my family that isn't like that would be considered our black sheep.
Now, there is a group of people I know, who may or may not be related to myself and who shall remain nameless to protect myself, that are all a few fries short of a happy meal. How was that for a run-on sentence???? In other words, they are all black sheep in my book. I will go to any length to avoid having to attend a function with them. The truth is I just feel uncomfortable because I am pretty sure they all hate my guts. If I had to guess why, it would probably be due to the part of my a fore mentioned personality traits, "Tell it like it is" and "Don't cross me". You see, my friends, I am simply unable to keep my mouth shut if someone crosses me, tries to manipulate me or talks about me behind my back. I assure you, you are much better off to say something to my face rather than me hearing it second hand. You can ask around if you haven't experienced me..I can be downright brutal! That being said, I am also very patient/tolerant with the people I truly love. It literally takes the straw that breaks the camel's back to really get me going or if I am having a bad day and sometimes if I have PMS. It's a gamble, you just have to roll the dice and see where I am at!
At any given rate, some people who have overly tested my patience/tolerance and there is just no hope for them to get back on my good side. *Seriously, once you have used your given allotment of hall passes with me, I am done. It's brutal, I know but I am not going to be any one's doormat.
In conclusion and to the point; I think this group, with one big exception and may be a couple of others are in serious need of a sheep dog! That's all I wanted to say.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Let me begin this rambling by saying that I am all for family gatherings. I love seeing my extended family that I only get to see every once in awhile. The "every once in awhile" is what makes it so great to see them! I fear that if I saw them all, all the time I would take them for granted. I think part of the wonderful relationships I have/had with my Grandparents can be attributed to not seeing them all that often! When we do/did get to see them it was special and I like "special".
My Mom's family has a get-together once a year at Christmas time. More often than not I attend because I "enjoy" seeing them and our so-called black sheep's (and I believe my Mom's family has a few black sheep) do not generally show up. However, we enjoy when at least one of them shows up to give us something to chatter about later. Shoot, one of our black sheep's was on the show Wife Swap - now that was fun for my immediate family! In short, they miss you if you can't be there but they understand if you aren't. They do not gossip (as far as I know) or talk badly about you if you happen to not attend.
My Dad's family rarely, if ever get together for anything. In our/their defense, my Dad comes from a large family. I have so many cousins that I literally do not know even half of them! Shoot, I dont' even know how many cousins I have out their! I could be walking down the street right next to them and not know who the hello kitty they were! Although, the cousins I do know and/or have met over time, almost all have the same exact personalities - myself and siblings included! We are all very fun, loving, hyper-spaz, tell it like is, your best friend who will go to the ends of the earth for you IF you don't ever cross me and make me your worst enemy kinda people. It's just in our nature. And in this case, any cousin on this side of my family that isn't like that would be considered our black sheep.
Now, there is a group of people I know, who may or may not be related to myself and who shall remain nameless to protect myself, that are all a few fries short of a happy meal. How was that for a run-on sentence???? In other words, they are all black sheep in my book. I will go to any length to avoid having to attend a function with them. The truth is I just feel uncomfortable because I am pretty sure they all hate my guts. If I had to guess why, it would probably be due to the part of my a fore mentioned personality traits, "Tell it like it is" and "Don't cross me". You see, my friends, I am simply unable to keep my mouth shut if someone crosses me, tries to manipulate me or talks about me behind my back. I assure you, you are much better off to say something to my face rather than me hearing it second hand. You can ask around if you haven't experienced me..I can be downright brutal! That being said, I am also very patient/tolerant with the people I truly love. It literally takes the straw that breaks the camel's back to really get me going or if I am having a bad day and sometimes if I have PMS. It's a gamble, you just have to roll the dice and see where I am at!
At any given rate, some people who have overly tested my patience/tolerance and there is just no hope for them to get back on my good side. *Seriously, once you have used your given allotment of hall passes with me, I am done. It's brutal, I know but I am not going to be any one's doormat.
In conclusion and to the point; I think this group, with one big exception and may be a couple of others are in serious need of a sheep dog! That's all I wanted to say.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Preparation
My bestie and I are throwing a party here at my house next weekend in honor of tacky Christmas wear. We have spent a great deal of time over the past month or so tracking down some of the world's worst decorations ever! Quite honestly, it looks like Santa just spewed all over my house.
On the outside my house looks downright delightful, inside it is, well, not at all the way I would decorate it. Who knew that decorating in a tacky fashion would be so difficult? Not me, that's for sure! I fear that people who come to my house for the first time might think this is actually how I decorate for the holidays . I guess I don't care or I wouldn't have gone all out to supply such festive things from every thrift store on this side of the Ohio River.
I have spent weeks preparing my home and finding the perfect outfit to wear. It took me days on end to embellish my skirt to perfection! Now the real chore begins, getting and keeping the house clean before people come here to party!
Onto bigger things; Thanksgiving day was fabulous. I slept till 11:30am, got up and lolly gaged around the house till I got a call saying to hurry up and get to my parents' because dinner was almost ready. What the? It was only 12:30pm and we weren't supposed to eat till around 2:30ish! I jumped in the shower, got myself and the kids ready and drove to my parents'. We got there in the nick of time to eat. It was all yummy! I stuffed myself with all the fixins'. When I was sufficiently full I checked out the Black Friday ads and didn't really see anything that I had to have other than a Dyson vacuum, which was on sale 30% off. Alright, actually I didn't see the vacuum in the ads because for whatever reason that ad was missing from my parents' paper. I saw it online and decided I had to have it! I tried and tried to order it online but do to overload on the Lowe's website I couldn't get on their site forever and when I finally did, my cart kept disappearing.
I decided the one and only way I was going to get this coveted vacuum was to get my butt up at the crack of...wait I can't even say the butt crack of dawn! I had to get up before daylight to get it. Abigail wanted to come with me so we got up at 4am and headed out. We arrived in a timely fashion, much to my amazement, got a Dyson and a few other non-essential items. Now, I really wanted a certain Dyson but it wasn't available - go figure! I had to get the next model up. Funny thing is, I got a better model Dyson and it cost me less than the one I went for. How? Well, I used my military I.D. to score an extra 10% off. WOOT WOOT!
After we were done at Lowe's, we came home and spotted Marc and Natalie heading out for their shopping excursion. I told them of my good deals and they invited us to tag along with them. Abigail and I loaded up in their truck and went to a few stores with them.
Later that morning Abigail had a doctor's appointment and then we made our way over to the police substation to pick up Scott's Christmas bonus check. Hit the bank and hit a few more stores. I loaded up on bean juice and still found the energy to go out on the town with my bestie that night! We had a great time and ran into one of our other friends, Jennifer, when we landed at our favorite Mom's Night Out spot!
That is what I did last week in a nutshell. More to come later...
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
On the outside my house looks downright delightful, inside it is, well, not at all the way I would decorate it. Who knew that decorating in a tacky fashion would be so difficult? Not me, that's for sure! I fear that people who come to my house for the first time might think this is actually how I decorate for the holidays . I guess I don't care or I wouldn't have gone all out to supply such festive things from every thrift store on this side of the Ohio River.
I have spent weeks preparing my home and finding the perfect outfit to wear. It took me days on end to embellish my skirt to perfection! Now the real chore begins, getting and keeping the house clean before people come here to party!
Onto bigger things; Thanksgiving day was fabulous. I slept till 11:30am, got up and lolly gaged around the house till I got a call saying to hurry up and get to my parents' because dinner was almost ready. What the? It was only 12:30pm and we weren't supposed to eat till around 2:30ish! I jumped in the shower, got myself and the kids ready and drove to my parents'. We got there in the nick of time to eat. It was all yummy! I stuffed myself with all the fixins'. When I was sufficiently full I checked out the Black Friday ads and didn't really see anything that I had to have other than a Dyson vacuum, which was on sale 30% off. Alright, actually I didn't see the vacuum in the ads because for whatever reason that ad was missing from my parents' paper. I saw it online and decided I had to have it! I tried and tried to order it online but do to overload on the Lowe's website I couldn't get on their site forever and when I finally did, my cart kept disappearing.
I decided the one and only way I was going to get this coveted vacuum was to get my butt up at the crack of...wait I can't even say the butt crack of dawn! I had to get up before daylight to get it. Abigail wanted to come with me so we got up at 4am and headed out. We arrived in a timely fashion, much to my amazement, got a Dyson and a few other non-essential items. Now, I really wanted a certain Dyson but it wasn't available - go figure! I had to get the next model up. Funny thing is, I got a better model Dyson and it cost me less than the one I went for. How? Well, I used my military I.D. to score an extra 10% off. WOOT WOOT!
After we were done at Lowe's, we came home and spotted Marc and Natalie heading out for their shopping excursion. I told them of my good deals and they invited us to tag along with them. Abigail and I loaded up in their truck and went to a few stores with them.
Later that morning Abigail had a doctor's appointment and then we made our way over to the police substation to pick up Scott's Christmas bonus check. Hit the bank and hit a few more stores. I loaded up on bean juice and still found the energy to go out on the town with my bestie that night! We had a great time and ran into one of our other friends, Jennifer, when we landed at our favorite Mom's Night Out spot!
That is what I did last week in a nutshell. More to come later...
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Monday, November 15, 2010
What's Been Going On
Nothing exciting has been going on, that's fo rizzle! I mean the most exciting thing I have to report right now is that as I was raping my coin jar to score some much needed cash, I sat in dog pee on my rug.
I don't know how it happens or where the money goes but lately I am always broke! I think it has to do with the kids and their constant need for everything - including medical attention. In the past two weeks, everyone except me has been sick. Actually, I had a small version of their colds but as you might well know, Mom's aren't allowed to get sick! I have spent obscene amounts of money on various cold remedies only to have them fail or the kids will refuse to take them because they are the wrong flavor. Are you kidding me? Just take the damn medicine! When I was a kid we had orange and occasionally a grape or cherry flavor - none of this, fruit punch, tropical punch, bubble gum and so on. Of course, Emma and Abigail can take adult medicine now but their symptoms were different so the medicine had to be different. Then there were Vick's Scented Puffs, prescriptions for a variety of ailments, I had two doctors' appointments, Emma and Olivia both had appointments, Those appointments alone set us back $60.00! When you add in the all the prescriptions and misc. efforts at treatment for what ails all of them, the grand total was over $200.00!
I also bought each of the kids a few fall clothing items. Despite how they like to run around naked half of the time, at times they have to wear clothes. Olivia and Sarah's clothes are pretty inexpensive in the grand scheme of things. Emma's are so-so on the price scale because she can still wear some kid sizes. Abigail on the other hand, her clothes are outrageous! The worst part is that they aren't even in to labels yet! How will I ever afford the "in" stuff if they want it? I guess they will just have to learn to love what I can afford, right? The other problem is that since Abigail is in juniors now, the clothes are more expensive and she doesn't think it's fair when Emma gets two pair of pants and she only gets one. I have tried to explain to her that Emma's are always a "two for deal" which always comes out cheaper than one pair for her. She will just have to deal with it for now because it won't be long when they are both screwed!
Scott and I had parent teacher conferences last week. I can honestly say, I wish all school conferences were like a kindergarten one. "Oh look Mr and Mrs Downing! What beautiful flowers Olivia can draw!" WOOT WOOT! Yup, you walk out feeling like you are the perfect parent. However, middle school conferences feel more like the Spanish Inquistiion! Seriously, as soon as we walked into the classroom I all ready felt like I was in trouble. There were seven teachers all sitting in school desks in a circle with two empty desks for parents. Scott and I sat in our "assigned" seats and then the conference started. I knew I was in trouble immediately. You see it turns out that one of my children has not been doing any of her homework, blew off a project and obviously has not been applying herself. Somehow, the responsibility for her lack of work ethic is my fault. Let me further explain the conversation.
Mrs X: Are you checking her agenda book everyday?
Me: Ummmm...she has an agenda book?
Mrs X: Well you ARE getting the email reminders we send out, AREN'T YOU?
Scott: Uhhhh I dont' even know how to get on my email!
I am sitting in my assigned seat thinking, "Oh Shit! Say something brilliant Krissy....say something!!!". And it was apparent to me that my husband was not helping out the situation.
Me: You know, I really have been trying to encourage independence in my children this year. I want them to have the opportunity to be responsible for their own work (which I have no doubt translated into I am a lazy Mother) Obviously, it was a mistake to let Child 46b12V8 be responsible for her own work. We will go home and beat her little ass for embarrassing the hell out of us. You should see a turn around in her work ethic immediately. Oh and in regards to the emails, I have received them but I don't always get on my email daily so most of the time, the event has all ready passed. They just all stared at me like I was an idiot. Why aren't they looking at Scott??? Geesh!
Anyway, parenting is so much fun.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
I don't know how it happens or where the money goes but lately I am always broke! I think it has to do with the kids and their constant need for everything - including medical attention. In the past two weeks, everyone except me has been sick. Actually, I had a small version of their colds but as you might well know, Mom's aren't allowed to get sick! I have spent obscene amounts of money on various cold remedies only to have them fail or the kids will refuse to take them because they are the wrong flavor. Are you kidding me? Just take the damn medicine! When I was a kid we had orange and occasionally a grape or cherry flavor - none of this, fruit punch, tropical punch, bubble gum and so on. Of course, Emma and Abigail can take adult medicine now but their symptoms were different so the medicine had to be different. Then there were Vick's Scented Puffs, prescriptions for a variety of ailments, I had two doctors' appointments, Emma and Olivia both had appointments, Those appointments alone set us back $60.00! When you add in the all the prescriptions and misc. efforts at treatment for what ails all of them, the grand total was over $200.00!
I also bought each of the kids a few fall clothing items. Despite how they like to run around naked half of the time, at times they have to wear clothes. Olivia and Sarah's clothes are pretty inexpensive in the grand scheme of things. Emma's are so-so on the price scale because she can still wear some kid sizes. Abigail on the other hand, her clothes are outrageous! The worst part is that they aren't even in to labels yet! How will I ever afford the "in" stuff if they want it? I guess they will just have to learn to love what I can afford, right? The other problem is that since Abigail is in juniors now, the clothes are more expensive and she doesn't think it's fair when Emma gets two pair of pants and she only gets one. I have tried to explain to her that Emma's are always a "two for deal" which always comes out cheaper than one pair for her. She will just have to deal with it for now because it won't be long when they are both screwed!
Scott and I had parent teacher conferences last week. I can honestly say, I wish all school conferences were like a kindergarten one. "Oh look Mr and Mrs Downing! What beautiful flowers Olivia can draw!" WOOT WOOT! Yup, you walk out feeling like you are the perfect parent. However, middle school conferences feel more like the Spanish Inquistiion! Seriously, as soon as we walked into the classroom I all ready felt like I was in trouble. There were seven teachers all sitting in school desks in a circle with two empty desks for parents. Scott and I sat in our "assigned" seats and then the conference started. I knew I was in trouble immediately. You see it turns out that one of my children has not been doing any of her homework, blew off a project and obviously has not been applying herself. Somehow, the responsibility for her lack of work ethic is my fault. Let me further explain the conversation.
Mrs X: Are you checking her agenda book everyday?
Me: Ummmm...she has an agenda book?
Mrs X: Well you ARE getting the email reminders we send out, AREN'T YOU?
Scott: Uhhhh I dont' even know how to get on my email!
I am sitting in my assigned seat thinking, "Oh Shit! Say something brilliant Krissy....say something!!!". And it was apparent to me that my husband was not helping out the situation.
Me: You know, I really have been trying to encourage independence in my children this year. I want them to have the opportunity to be responsible for their own work (which I have no doubt translated into I am a lazy Mother) Obviously, it was a mistake to let Child 46b12V8 be responsible for her own work. We will go home and beat her little ass for embarrassing the hell out of us. You should see a turn around in her work ethic immediately. Oh and in regards to the emails, I have received them but I don't always get on my email daily so most of the time, the event has all ready passed. They just all stared at me like I was an idiot. Why aren't they looking at Scott??? Geesh!
Anyway, parenting is so much fun.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
What's Been Going On....Going on....
I know I haven't been around much lately and for that I apologize. Things have been, well, crazy. What else would you expect from the Queen of Insanity? I should hope nothing less than insane!
Honestly, can't really say there has been anything thrilling going on in my life. Most of what's been going on has just been day to day mundane. I have been running kids to dance classes, soccer (which is FINALLY over), dr's appointments for them and myself and sewing like a crazy fool.
On a more exciting note, I flipped my lid on Olivia and Sarahs' playroom. You see I was pushed over the edge by the recent mutilation of some of my belongings. First of all, Olivia was kicking a big ball in my living room. As you can imagine this is never and I do mean NEVER a good thing indoors. What made her think this was a good idea? I will never know. Balls are strictly to be dropped or rolled indoors - Period! Olivia must have felt this rule was worth breaking and chose to kick the ball. This lead to one of my precious angels being knocked off of the fireplace mantel and crashing to an excruciating death by tile. Was I mad? You can be the judge of that. Olivia apparently realized I was and became the most docile child in the world. She avoided me like the black plague. I couldn't even speak I was so upset!
A few days later, I went down to the basement to let Torros out. As I walked down the steps, I noticed that something wasn't right with my antique pie safe. Something was missing! Oh something was missing all right! A piece of one of the doors was completely torn off. How did this happen? Do these children have super human strengths that I am unaware of? Lucky for these precious gifts from God, they were all ready fast asleep in their beds or they would have been killed on site. Okay an over-exaggeration but I was less that happy about this discovery. I made a rapid decision that tomorrow they would no longer have a playroom.
The next day I woke up and got them all off to school. When I was home from dropping off Sarah and Emily, Operation Toy Dump began. I packed up everything that was in the playroom! Then I went to their bedrooms and got rid of even more toys. Now all they have left is a couple of baby dolls, baby doll accessories, a stroller and each of them have a dollhouse. We are done with the toy store atmosphere in this home. When they came home to discover the toys were gone, they didn't even care. Olivia only cared that she got to keep a baby. I explained to them that if they couldn't respect my belongings or theirs they wouldn't have any. It was much like a lecture we might have gotten as children, "Children in China are starving!". Since Operation Toy Dump, life has been a lot simpler, no longer do I have to lecture about picking up toys. It is better than wonderful! Emma and Abigail were also excited about the toys disappearing until I told them that the same would happen to their belongings if they didn't step up to the plate and take care of their stuff.
It's a process people.....
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Honestly, can't really say there has been anything thrilling going on in my life. Most of what's been going on has just been day to day mundane. I have been running kids to dance classes, soccer (which is FINALLY over), dr's appointments for them and myself and sewing like a crazy fool.
On a more exciting note, I flipped my lid on Olivia and Sarahs' playroom. You see I was pushed over the edge by the recent mutilation of some of my belongings. First of all, Olivia was kicking a big ball in my living room. As you can imagine this is never and I do mean NEVER a good thing indoors. What made her think this was a good idea? I will never know. Balls are strictly to be dropped or rolled indoors - Period! Olivia must have felt this rule was worth breaking and chose to kick the ball. This lead to one of my precious angels being knocked off of the fireplace mantel and crashing to an excruciating death by tile. Was I mad? You can be the judge of that. Olivia apparently realized I was and became the most docile child in the world. She avoided me like the black plague. I couldn't even speak I was so upset!
A few days later, I went down to the basement to let Torros out. As I walked down the steps, I noticed that something wasn't right with my antique pie safe. Something was missing! Oh something was missing all right! A piece of one of the doors was completely torn off. How did this happen? Do these children have super human strengths that I am unaware of? Lucky for these precious gifts from God, they were all ready fast asleep in their beds or they would have been killed on site. Okay an over-exaggeration but I was less that happy about this discovery. I made a rapid decision that tomorrow they would no longer have a playroom.
The next day I woke up and got them all off to school. When I was home from dropping off Sarah and Emily, Operation Toy Dump began. I packed up everything that was in the playroom! Then I went to their bedrooms and got rid of even more toys. Now all they have left is a couple of baby dolls, baby doll accessories, a stroller and each of them have a dollhouse. We are done with the toy store atmosphere in this home. When they came home to discover the toys were gone, they didn't even care. Olivia only cared that she got to keep a baby. I explained to them that if they couldn't respect my belongings or theirs they wouldn't have any. It was much like a lecture we might have gotten as children, "Children in China are starving!". Since Operation Toy Dump, life has been a lot simpler, no longer do I have to lecture about picking up toys. It is better than wonderful! Emma and Abigail were also excited about the toys disappearing until I told them that the same would happen to their belongings if they didn't step up to the plate and take care of their stuff.
It's a process people.....
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Now For The Rest of The Story.....
As I stated in my second to last blog, I walked out to the patio of the bar to find Tammy, Jessica and Wil (Jessie's ex-boyfriend). Wil stated that he nearly killed my sister. Now you are all caught up and I can go on with my story.
Apparently, Wil had gotten excited to see Tammy (I can understand that) and in his excitement, picked her up to give her a bear hug. After he picked her up for this loving gesture, he lost his balance and they both hit the ground, only Tammy didn't just hit the ground, Tammy hit her head on this concrete curb. I jumped into my Dr. Mom mode and assessed her situation. She had a goose egg on her head. This is good....yes very good! Her eyes looked fine and she didn't feel sick to her stomach. All good signs people! She decided that she wanted to walk around a bit. We walked around a bit, feeling old and a decrepit in this bar that is obviously not meant for anyone over the age of 23. Since I am such an old fart, it hit me that I had to use the powder room. Tammy and I make our way to the bathroom. I couldn't help but notice that there was a line outside of the men's room and not the ladies - very interesting but off topic here. I left Tammy unattended for a few minutes while I used the restroom and when I came out, she was gone! Oh crap! I rush around looking for her and to be honest, she shouldn't have been hard to find since clearly we were outsiders in this establishment! I went back to the table where Jessica and Wil were sitting only to discover she is not there! Jessie starts panicking and questioning me about her Mom's where-abouts. Then I felt like I should be panicked but before I could go into full swing panic mode, I hear Tammy calling my name. PRAISE THE LORD!!!! Crisis overted. She had gone outside the fence line to get some "fresh" air. I went out to where she was sitting willingly because I knew that I wouldn't have to dig for my I.D. to get back in. She had decided that she wanted to go home with me instead of ruining Jessie's evening.
Tammy and I walked back to where I had parked and began the trek back to my house. We were about a quarter of the way home when Tammy's cellphone rang. It was Jessie. Great news people! Tammy had Jessica's keys in her purse. Of course we were not in an area that no one should exit on in the wee hours of the night but for the sake of Jessie, we exited. Here we are in the ghetto of Columbus and we are both thirsty. We spot a McDonald's and head to the drive-thru. I got a Frappuccino and Tammy got a coffee and a cup of ice water. I decide to ask these lovely McDonald's employees if they happen to have an ice pack for Tammy's head wound. Uh, umm, yeah they didn't have one. I asked if they had a first aid kit that they could check and they told me no. NO? Are you kidding me? Seriously, this has to be some kind of code violation. Since they didn't have an ice pack, they gave us a plastic bag and a cup of ice - good enough. Back on the freeway, unscathed by the dangers of Livingston after dark, we headed back to Brother's.
By now the bars have all closed and there are youngins' everywhere! Not to mention the police presence - luckily we are mature adults and above suspicion as we cruise down the road looking for our sweet little Jessica. Finally we find her and give her her keys. Tammy has decided that instead of staying at my house or Jessie's for the night, she is going to drive on home. We locate Jessica's car so Tammy can retrieve her keys and other belongings. But wait! Tammy's car is not here, it is at Jessie's which is on campus. Off to
OSU campus to drop Tammy off and she can be on her way back to Lancaster and I can get back to P-Town.
Yes my friends, I did the Tour De Columbus this particular night. It was fun, exciting and exhausting all at the same time!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Apparently, Wil had gotten excited to see Tammy (I can understand that) and in his excitement, picked her up to give her a bear hug. After he picked her up for this loving gesture, he lost his balance and they both hit the ground, only Tammy didn't just hit the ground, Tammy hit her head on this concrete curb. I jumped into my Dr. Mom mode and assessed her situation. She had a goose egg on her head. This is good....yes very good! Her eyes looked fine and she didn't feel sick to her stomach. All good signs people! She decided that she wanted to walk around a bit. We walked around a bit, feeling old and a decrepit in this bar that is obviously not meant for anyone over the age of 23. Since I am such an old fart, it hit me that I had to use the powder room. Tammy and I make our way to the bathroom. I couldn't help but notice that there was a line outside of the men's room and not the ladies - very interesting but off topic here. I left Tammy unattended for a few minutes while I used the restroom and when I came out, she was gone! Oh crap! I rush around looking for her and to be honest, she shouldn't have been hard to find since clearly we were outsiders in this establishment! I went back to the table where Jessica and Wil were sitting only to discover she is not there! Jessie starts panicking and questioning me about her Mom's where-abouts. Then I felt like I should be panicked but before I could go into full swing panic mode, I hear Tammy calling my name. PRAISE THE LORD!!!! Crisis overted. She had gone outside the fence line to get some "fresh" air. I went out to where she was sitting willingly because I knew that I wouldn't have to dig for my I.D. to get back in. She had decided that she wanted to go home with me instead of ruining Jessie's evening.
Tammy and I walked back to where I had parked and began the trek back to my house. We were about a quarter of the way home when Tammy's cellphone rang. It was Jessie. Great news people! Tammy had Jessica's keys in her purse. Of course we were not in an area that no one should exit on in the wee hours of the night but for the sake of Jessie, we exited. Here we are in the ghetto of Columbus and we are both thirsty. We spot a McDonald's and head to the drive-thru. I got a Frappuccino and Tammy got a coffee and a cup of ice water. I decide to ask these lovely McDonald's employees if they happen to have an ice pack for Tammy's head wound. Uh, umm, yeah they didn't have one. I asked if they had a first aid kit that they could check and they told me no. NO? Are you kidding me? Seriously, this has to be some kind of code violation. Since they didn't have an ice pack, they gave us a plastic bag and a cup of ice - good enough. Back on the freeway, unscathed by the dangers of Livingston after dark, we headed back to Brother's.
By now the bars have all closed and there are youngins' everywhere! Not to mention the police presence - luckily we are mature adults and above suspicion as we cruise down the road looking for our sweet little Jessica. Finally we find her and give her her keys. Tammy has decided that instead of staying at my house or Jessie's for the night, she is going to drive on home. We locate Jessica's car so Tammy can retrieve her keys and other belongings. But wait! Tammy's car is not here, it is at Jessie's which is on campus. Off to
OSU campus to drop Tammy off and she can be on her way back to Lancaster and I can get back to P-Town.
Yes my friends, I did the Tour De Columbus this particular night. It was fun, exciting and exhausting all at the same time!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Woops
I started updating my blog today and then had to go. Instead of saving my blog to finish later, I published it. Woops! I will finish it tomorrow when I have recovered from today's events (which I will be blogging about as well).
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Drag This and Other Misc. Activities
As you may or may not know, I recently went out to a bar called "Axis". This bar is catered to the gay male population. It was a lot of fun! The reason we (Tammy and myself) went to this establishment was because we recently discovered some new cousins. One of those cousin's is Steven AKA: Fressia Balls. I really wish Michelle could have gone with us because I think she is one who would have really appreciated his stage name. Michelle cracks up at anything related to the word "balls"! She just can't help herself.
Freesia Balls is a Drag Queen, not just any ole Drag Queen but our cousin. Now you can imagine how excited I was to find out that someone else in my family was a queen of any kind. Everyone in my house knows I am the queen of everything here!
Here was my evening, I call it "Tour De Columbus". First our group met at a resteraunt in German Village where we had a lovely late dinner. When we were finished eating we left there and headed on over to Axis. Jennifer and her friend Krista came with me so that we could save on parking. We get there not knowing who the hello kitty we are looking for but can't wait to see the show. If you have never been to a Drag show, OMG, you must do it at some point! Not only was it hysterical, it was very entertaining! I couldn't help but crack up at their recorded entertainment inbetween sets. There was one that was a video about M.E.T.H. parties. Hysterical! Monsters For The Ethical Treatment of Humans. They went on and on about going to METH parties in the video. Their costumes were fabulous and as much as I hate to admit it, I was super jealous that these dudes dressed like ladies could not only walk but dance in high heels!
The show was great! When it was almost over I found one of the prop guys and asked him if he could point Steven out to me. He told me her stage name and showed me which one she was. I went to locate Tammy and tell her what I had found out. She wasn't where I left her, nope, she was down front, center stage! Jessica was on the side wall, laughing and shaking her head. So I waited for the show to be over and made my way over to say hello to Freesia Balls.
Soon after, we left and I took Laura back to her car - 4 million blocks away from Axis. I then drove Jennifer, Krista and Natalie back to German Village to pick up Jennifer's car so they could head home. I was going to go on home myself but Tammy really wanted me to meet her and Jessica at Brothers. I caved and went on over. I had to pay to park AGAIN and then walk AGAIN to the bar, where Tammy and I were definitely considered ancient.
As I approached Brothers, I noticed the police flashing their flashlights into the fence line around the patio. I then happened to notice my niece, Jessica, picking up my sister's glasses. What the???? Seriously, I am a little freaked out wondering why her glasses were on the ground so I got in the line to be carded to get in. When I got up to the doorman, I asked him if he seriously needed to see my I.D., he laughed and let me in. Really? You can't even try to pretend to think I am young and hip? WOW! I am now in the bar, I go quickly to the patio and find Jessica and Tammy. As I get closer to them I notice Jessica's high school boyfriend sitting there and go to give him a hug. He starts telling me, "I nearly killed your sister!" WHAT?
Freesia Balls is a Drag Queen, not just any ole Drag Queen but our cousin. Now you can imagine how excited I was to find out that someone else in my family was a queen of any kind. Everyone in my house knows I am the queen of everything here!
Here was my evening, I call it "Tour De Columbus". First our group met at a resteraunt in German Village where we had a lovely late dinner. When we were finished eating we left there and headed on over to Axis. Jennifer and her friend Krista came with me so that we could save on parking. We get there not knowing who the hello kitty we are looking for but can't wait to see the show. If you have never been to a Drag show, OMG, you must do it at some point! Not only was it hysterical, it was very entertaining! I couldn't help but crack up at their recorded entertainment inbetween sets. There was one that was a video about M.E.T.H. parties. Hysterical! Monsters For The Ethical Treatment of Humans. They went on and on about going to METH parties in the video. Their costumes were fabulous and as much as I hate to admit it, I was super jealous that these dudes dressed like ladies could not only walk but dance in high heels!
The show was great! When it was almost over I found one of the prop guys and asked him if he could point Steven out to me. He told me her stage name and showed me which one she was. I went to locate Tammy and tell her what I had found out. She wasn't where I left her, nope, she was down front, center stage! Jessica was on the side wall, laughing and shaking her head. So I waited for the show to be over and made my way over to say hello to Freesia Balls.
Soon after, we left and I took Laura back to her car - 4 million blocks away from Axis. I then drove Jennifer, Krista and Natalie back to German Village to pick up Jennifer's car so they could head home. I was going to go on home myself but Tammy really wanted me to meet her and Jessica at Brothers. I caved and went on over. I had to pay to park AGAIN and then walk AGAIN to the bar, where Tammy and I were definitely considered ancient.
As I approached Brothers, I noticed the police flashing their flashlights into the fence line around the patio. I then happened to notice my niece, Jessica, picking up my sister's glasses. What the???? Seriously, I am a little freaked out wondering why her glasses were on the ground so I got in the line to be carded to get in. When I got up to the doorman, I asked him if he seriously needed to see my I.D., he laughed and let me in. Really? You can't even try to pretend to think I am young and hip? WOW! I am now in the bar, I go quickly to the patio and find Jessica and Tammy. As I get closer to them I notice Jessica's high school boyfriend sitting there and go to give him a hug. He starts telling me, "I nearly killed your sister!" WHAT?
Saturday, October 30, 2010
I know, I know.....Bite me!
Seriously, I have been super busy dealing with my husband's children while he has been off hunting Pheasants. It's not that I don't want to get on here and blog, I just haven't had a free second in over a week!
The most entertaining of my activities over the past week was a drag show that I attended with some of my family and friends last Saturday night! Now I know you all are anxiously awaiting my rendition of this event but you are going to have to wait till another blog. The evening isn't something I can summarize in a blog that I am just updating to appease everyone. So much happened that evening that I must dedicate an entire blog to it.
Most of my time this week has been spent caring for my children, as well as the children that I babysitt. It has worn me out. What I do not understand is how I am so worn out from taking care of all of them just because Scott isn't home. When he is home, he is usually at work. I am currently re-evaluating what he does around here because apparently I do not give the man enough credit! He obviously does more to help me than I realize. Although I have always told him that I am co-independent of him. I know you are thinking right now, "What the hello kitty does she mean? I am going to explain. I am dependent upon him in certain ways but need my own space. Does that make any sense? Probably not! Anyway, he should be home in the next five to six hour and I am excited for his arrival. I am also excited that it is Sunday because it is my sleeping day.
Another activity I have been devoting some time to is sewing. I have been sewing up a storm. It has been mentioned in some circles that I am begining to be quite the little "Martha Stuart". SHHHHHAAA! Seriously people, I could only wish that I was like her! She is filthy stinking rich and I, on the otherhand, am broke. If I ever went to prison I would not come out with my own television show. I'd be living under a rock somewhere because no one would want to hire a former convict like me. It's just the way life is, unfair. Anyway, I have been busy sewing dresses, purses and such. I am hoping to profit from this activity but I am not holding my breath. (You shouldn't either!)
Last but not least, driving my kids to dance, soccer, more dance and more soccer. Oh the joys of parenting four children! I had a shining moment this very evening as a parent. Emma's soccer awards ceremony was tonight and I just didn't want to go. I just can't sit still or be quiet that long - with or without the kids in tow. It's not even fair of someone to have that expectation of me! All this being said, I asked Emma if she would be offended in any way if I just dropped her off and she could text me when it was over. She said she would be fine and I was never so happy to given my child an electronic device ever. I do mean EVER! I took her and dropped her off and she texted me when she was ready to be done. Everyone was happy. She got to go to her awards and I go to sit at home.
All right, well, I will do some real blogging tomorrow but right now, I am off to bed!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
The most entertaining of my activities over the past week was a drag show that I attended with some of my family and friends last Saturday night! Now I know you all are anxiously awaiting my rendition of this event but you are going to have to wait till another blog. The evening isn't something I can summarize in a blog that I am just updating to appease everyone. So much happened that evening that I must dedicate an entire blog to it.
Most of my time this week has been spent caring for my children, as well as the children that I babysitt. It has worn me out. What I do not understand is how I am so worn out from taking care of all of them just because Scott isn't home. When he is home, he is usually at work. I am currently re-evaluating what he does around here because apparently I do not give the man enough credit! He obviously does more to help me than I realize. Although I have always told him that I am co-independent of him. I know you are thinking right now, "What the hello kitty does she mean? I am going to explain. I am dependent upon him in certain ways but need my own space. Does that make any sense? Probably not! Anyway, he should be home in the next five to six hour and I am excited for his arrival. I am also excited that it is Sunday because it is my sleeping day.
Another activity I have been devoting some time to is sewing. I have been sewing up a storm. It has been mentioned in some circles that I am begining to be quite the little "Martha Stuart". SHHHHHAAA! Seriously people, I could only wish that I was like her! She is filthy stinking rich and I, on the otherhand, am broke. If I ever went to prison I would not come out with my own television show. I'd be living under a rock somewhere because no one would want to hire a former convict like me. It's just the way life is, unfair. Anyway, I have been busy sewing dresses, purses and such. I am hoping to profit from this activity but I am not holding my breath. (You shouldn't either!)
Last but not least, driving my kids to dance, soccer, more dance and more soccer. Oh the joys of parenting four children! I had a shining moment this very evening as a parent. Emma's soccer awards ceremony was tonight and I just didn't want to go. I just can't sit still or be quiet that long - with or without the kids in tow. It's not even fair of someone to have that expectation of me! All this being said, I asked Emma if she would be offended in any way if I just dropped her off and she could text me when it was over. She said she would be fine and I was never so happy to given my child an electronic device ever. I do mean EVER! I took her and dropped her off and she texted me when she was ready to be done. Everyone was happy. She got to go to her awards and I go to sit at home.
All right, well, I will do some real blogging tomorrow but right now, I am off to bed!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Thursday.....I mean Pre-Friday (Thanks Jennifer)
Yes, today is the formerly know Thursday, which is now know in my world as Pre-Friday! One of my friends has had a particularly crappy week and has been wishing for Friday to get here all week. She made a declaration that Thursday would now be considered "Pre-Friday". I love it! I am jumping on board and hoping that it will catch on.
Thursday from September to May have been my favorite day since I discovered Mom's Day Out. I love being able to drop my kids, or child at this point, off for five glorious hours of freedom. Of course, I took on another babysitting gig and he is now enjoying the peace and quiet with me. We actually just got done playing a round of peek-a-boo. Now he is crawling around playing with random toys and books he finds. When I am done here, we will sing his favorite song, "The Grand Old Duke of York".
Any who, I don't have much to say today so it's going to be random thoughts from me. I will start with some funny things Sarah has said to me over the past couple of days.
Yesterday we ran a couple of errands and when we got home I sat my keys on the island. Sarah sighed, grabbed the keys and put them in the junk drawer while telling me I need to put them away so I don't lose them. Really? My three year thinks I am irresponsible? Perhaps she has noticed that every other day I am ranting about not being able to find those very keys! Also I must say that I love that child because whenever I am unknowingly in her way, she'll say, "Move your little butt Mom!". I haven't detected any sarcasm in her voice. May be she is mocking me? I couldn't say for sure but what I do know is my butt is not little! Hence, why I love her.
Scott is getting ready to go on a hunting trip to South Dakota. Doesn't that sound like fun? Driving a million miles to hunt Pheasant! WOOHOO! Personally, I think it's dumb and a waste of money but he thinks it's stupid for me to drive 10 hours to hang out on the beach for 3 days. We're even! However, I am excited about him going. Why? Calm down, I am about to tell you. For one thing, I love having the bed all to myself. I can sleep smack dab in the middle of the bed, all night, every night! Another thing, I will have complete control of the television when the kids aren't around. Okay, I know, I know...I said, "When the kids aren't around". I don't know why I let them rule the main t.v. when we have two other fully operational t.v.'s in the house, I just do. Lastly, for 16 years of our marriage Scott was in the National Guard. He was gone one weekend a month, two weeks a year, not to mention various deployments for extended periods of time. I miss a little bit of freedom. Which is not to say that I don't have a lot of that now but it's just different. Don't judge me!
Oh and on a more exciting note, I am going out Saturday night with my sister and some friends to a place called Axis. Axis is apparently a gay bar in the Short North. How do I know this? Why am I going? Well, I know this because my sister and I recently discovered we have a cousin who doubles as a drag queen on the weekends. I say "discovered" because we didn't even know he existed until recently - our Dad's side of the family is large. For this reason, we don't know a lot of our extended family. That is until Facebook! So my sister made contact with him and found out he lived right here in Columbus! There was a video of him doing a "show" and Tammy found out when his next performance was and there you have it. We are going to meet him and see the show. I am excited!
That's all I got....boring stuff, I know!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Thursday from September to May have been my favorite day since I discovered Mom's Day Out. I love being able to drop my kids, or child at this point, off for five glorious hours of freedom. Of course, I took on another babysitting gig and he is now enjoying the peace and quiet with me. We actually just got done playing a round of peek-a-boo. Now he is crawling around playing with random toys and books he finds. When I am done here, we will sing his favorite song, "The Grand Old Duke of York".
Any who, I don't have much to say today so it's going to be random thoughts from me. I will start with some funny things Sarah has said to me over the past couple of days.
Yesterday we ran a couple of errands and when we got home I sat my keys on the island. Sarah sighed, grabbed the keys and put them in the junk drawer while telling me I need to put them away so I don't lose them. Really? My three year thinks I am irresponsible? Perhaps she has noticed that every other day I am ranting about not being able to find those very keys! Also I must say that I love that child because whenever I am unknowingly in her way, she'll say, "Move your little butt Mom!". I haven't detected any sarcasm in her voice. May be she is mocking me? I couldn't say for sure but what I do know is my butt is not little! Hence, why I love her.
Scott is getting ready to go on a hunting trip to South Dakota. Doesn't that sound like fun? Driving a million miles to hunt Pheasant! WOOHOO! Personally, I think it's dumb and a waste of money but he thinks it's stupid for me to drive 10 hours to hang out on the beach for 3 days. We're even! However, I am excited about him going. Why? Calm down, I am about to tell you. For one thing, I love having the bed all to myself. I can sleep smack dab in the middle of the bed, all night, every night! Another thing, I will have complete control of the television when the kids aren't around. Okay, I know, I know...I said, "When the kids aren't around". I don't know why I let them rule the main t.v. when we have two other fully operational t.v.'s in the house, I just do. Lastly, for 16 years of our marriage Scott was in the National Guard. He was gone one weekend a month, two weeks a year, not to mention various deployments for extended periods of time. I miss a little bit of freedom. Which is not to say that I don't have a lot of that now but it's just different. Don't judge me!
Oh and on a more exciting note, I am going out Saturday night with my sister and some friends to a place called Axis. Axis is apparently a gay bar in the Short North. How do I know this? Why am I going? Well, I know this because my sister and I recently discovered we have a cousin who doubles as a drag queen on the weekends. I say "discovered" because we didn't even know he existed until recently - our Dad's side of the family is large. For this reason, we don't know a lot of our extended family. That is until Facebook! So my sister made contact with him and found out he lived right here in Columbus! There was a video of him doing a "show" and Tammy found out when his next performance was and there you have it. We are going to meet him and see the show. I am excited!
That's all I got....boring stuff, I know!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Lost My Marbles
Our home is not what anyone would consider orderly, organized, well-maintained or peaceful. It's just not! The reason for this lack of solitude? The children who live within it's walls. I must bare some responsibility for this madness and I blame my zodiac sign for this. I am, after all a Sagittarius (spaz)!
Saturday evening I was sitting on my couch, a rare treat for me, and upon looking around my living room I just couldn't take the state of this house for one more second. Actually, what set this downward spiral into motion for me was the fact that I had asked Emma to unload the dishwasher and put away her overnight bag at least 10 times and she had done neither. I yelled upstairs for Emma to come down. As she appeared down the steps, I told her to get her sisters and for all of them to sit on the couch and wait for me.
When I came back inside much to my surprise they were all sitting there quietly on the couch...waiting. I sat down and began my lecture. Now it's important to know that I am a yeller. I love to yell and really it's not that much of a stretch from my normal voice because I tend to talk loudly anyway (according to my husband). While outside I decided to take a different approach, speaking firmly without raising my voice. As you can imagine this threw them all for a loop! I began by asking them if when I spoke to them if they heard my words in another language; as this would explain why they never respond when I ask them to pick up their crap. You will be happy to know that they all said they heard English spewing from my mouth. I then went into this long speech about how disrespectful it is to be slobs. That is was my responsibility to make sure they became responsible, productive adults. For a minute I felt like my body had been invaded by one or both of my parents! I continued by telling them their Father works his tail off to provide for them and when they leave lights and the television on in a room where no one is, it's wasteful. When they are too lazy to put away their clean clothes, leaving them sit around and then somehow they end up back in the dirty clothes hamper having never been work, after I have slaved over four hundred loads of laundry all ready - wasteful! Oh and disrespectful!!!! I threatened to take away all electronics from the twins and all of the little ones' toys. Before it was all said and done, Emma and Abigail were both crying. Olivia was doing her usual smile, batting her eyelashes and sweetly saying, "Okay Mommy" and Sarah well she didn't know what was going on so she just shook her head whichever way the others did.
After I was done with them and they were all working diligently around the house to clean up their crap, I called Scott at work to tell him of my conversation. I began telling him everything I had said to them and then he made a fatal mistake. He said, "One of my biggest stresses is coming home to a messy house!". No he didn't! I lost my marbles on him! I immediately told him that he could help the situation by helping me keep the kids on task. When he sees something that obviously belongs to one of the kids, instruct them to pick it up! After all, these are YOUR kids too! I think that many men who are lucky enough to have stay-at-home wives think that all we do is sit around on our tooshies all day doing nothing. This is such a crock! I rarely get to sit down and do anything for myself. Watch television? No way! Who could hear it over the arguing children? Talking on the telephone with friends? Not really an option if you want to be able to hear the conversation you are having. Let's face it, any Mother knows the telephone in your hand sends out a signal to any and all children that they need something RIGHT NOW! Anyway, I am sure that Scott regrets answering his cellphone.
Sunday the kids were all gleefully picking up the entire house. May be I just saw what I wanted to see! Regardless, every bedroom, bathroom, hallway and common areas of the house were clean! The laundry was done and put away and everyone got to keep their threatened objects.
Monday I tackled the playroom. I threw out three bags of trash, packed up an entire Rubbermaid tote full of toys to recycle and found several missing socks. Actually, I found enough clothing in the playroom to do a load of laundry! After all of that was finished I organized the toys and rearranged a little bit, vacuumed and cleaned.
Tuesday, I began a new sewing project. I am making a couple of dresses for Olivia and Sarah. It's supposedly an "easy" pattern, so easy in fact there is no pattern, just written directions. I am about halfway done with them. Last week I made a camera bag for myself. It took about a week to complete. It turned out great! I was very proud of myself because I have never been able to complete such a complex project following a pattern before. It turned out great! It was actually a diaper bag pattern that I tweaked by adding extra foam to for the desired result. I haven't transferred my camera to it yet because I don't want to mess it up. Actually, I just need to get some fabric protector to spray on it and then I will be in business!
Oh and last but not least, the week before I made the camera bag, I made Sarah this tutu for Halloween and decorate a witch's hat for her. A picture is below. In my spare moments, I have also been trying to figure out my photo editing program. Here is the result of some of my experimenting!
Saturday evening I was sitting on my couch, a rare treat for me, and upon looking around my living room I just couldn't take the state of this house for one more second. Actually, what set this downward spiral into motion for me was the fact that I had asked Emma to unload the dishwasher and put away her overnight bag at least 10 times and she had done neither. I yelled upstairs for Emma to come down. As she appeared down the steps, I told her to get her sisters and for all of them to sit on the couch and wait for me.
When I came back inside much to my surprise they were all sitting there quietly on the couch...waiting. I sat down and began my lecture. Now it's important to know that I am a yeller. I love to yell and really it's not that much of a stretch from my normal voice because I tend to talk loudly anyway (according to my husband). While outside I decided to take a different approach, speaking firmly without raising my voice. As you can imagine this threw them all for a loop! I began by asking them if when I spoke to them if they heard my words in another language; as this would explain why they never respond when I ask them to pick up their crap. You will be happy to know that they all said they heard English spewing from my mouth. I then went into this long speech about how disrespectful it is to be slobs. That is was my responsibility to make sure they became responsible, productive adults. For a minute I felt like my body had been invaded by one or both of my parents! I continued by telling them their Father works his tail off to provide for them and when they leave lights and the television on in a room where no one is, it's wasteful. When they are too lazy to put away their clean clothes, leaving them sit around and then somehow they end up back in the dirty clothes hamper having never been work, after I have slaved over four hundred loads of laundry all ready - wasteful! Oh and disrespectful!!!! I threatened to take away all electronics from the twins and all of the little ones' toys. Before it was all said and done, Emma and Abigail were both crying. Olivia was doing her usual smile, batting her eyelashes and sweetly saying, "Okay Mommy" and Sarah well she didn't know what was going on so she just shook her head whichever way the others did.
After I was done with them and they were all working diligently around the house to clean up their crap, I called Scott at work to tell him of my conversation. I began telling him everything I had said to them and then he made a fatal mistake. He said, "One of my biggest stresses is coming home to a messy house!". No he didn't! I lost my marbles on him! I immediately told him that he could help the situation by helping me keep the kids on task. When he sees something that obviously belongs to one of the kids, instruct them to pick it up! After all, these are YOUR kids too! I think that many men who are lucky enough to have stay-at-home wives think that all we do is sit around on our tooshies all day doing nothing. This is such a crock! I rarely get to sit down and do anything for myself. Watch television? No way! Who could hear it over the arguing children? Talking on the telephone with friends? Not really an option if you want to be able to hear the conversation you are having. Let's face it, any Mother knows the telephone in your hand sends out a signal to any and all children that they need something RIGHT NOW! Anyway, I am sure that Scott regrets answering his cellphone.
Sunday the kids were all gleefully picking up the entire house. May be I just saw what I wanted to see! Regardless, every bedroom, bathroom, hallway and common areas of the house were clean! The laundry was done and put away and everyone got to keep their threatened objects.
Monday I tackled the playroom. I threw out three bags of trash, packed up an entire Rubbermaid tote full of toys to recycle and found several missing socks. Actually, I found enough clothing in the playroom to do a load of laundry! After all of that was finished I organized the toys and rearranged a little bit, vacuumed and cleaned.
Tuesday, I began a new sewing project. I am making a couple of dresses for Olivia and Sarah. It's supposedly an "easy" pattern, so easy in fact there is no pattern, just written directions. I am about halfway done with them. Last week I made a camera bag for myself. It took about a week to complete. It turned out great! I was very proud of myself because I have never been able to complete such a complex project following a pattern before. It turned out great! It was actually a diaper bag pattern that I tweaked by adding extra foam to for the desired result. I haven't transferred my camera to it yet because I don't want to mess it up. Actually, I just need to get some fabric protector to spray on it and then I will be in business!
Oh and last but not least, the week before I made the camera bag, I made Sarah this tutu for Halloween and decorate a witch's hat for her. A picture is below. In my spare moments, I have also been trying to figure out my photo editing program. Here is the result of some of my experimenting!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
The Coffee Crisis is Over
Over the weekend I discovered that my local coffee shop is back in business! No longer is it Smoothie Brews, it is now known as Overlatte Cafe. I have mixed emotions about this change, which of course I will be sharing with you.
I first noticed they were open Saturday morning on my way to Emma's soccer game. I didn't stop because I was all ready running late (Shocking, I know!). The reason I was running late this particular time? Well, I had stopped at Starbucks to get my bean juice fix. I seriously considering stopping at Overlatte on my way home but I was all ready too hopped up on the venti pumpkin spice latte.
When we got home from the game, I decided to blog because I hadn't done any blogging for a couple of days. With my blog complete, I made the executive decision to lay down on the couch and relax for a bit. For unknown reasons, I couldn't focus on sleep. I asked Emma if she wanted to run to Easton and use her birthday money. She was game and off we went to Barnes and Noble with a pit stop at Overlatte Cafe. Emma ordered a hot chocolate and I, my usual, a non-fat milky way with whip cream. I guess I should have been more specific about my order because they gave me my "usual" as a frozen bevereage rather than hot. Not wanting to get off on the wrong foot, I didn't complain.
I have been several times since then and everytime I have to be extrodinarily specific. Despite the fact that I am overly specific, each and every time I pull up to the window they ask me again what I ordered and if I want skim milk. Hello??? Doesn't non-fat in the coffee world mean skim milk? They close the window and go to work and inevitably come back and ask if I want light or regular whip cream. Honestly, does it matter? What's the difference in a light whip cream? Fifteen calories at best! Furthermore, focus on the important part; getting the coffee right.
As of right now, I would give Overlatte Cafe a six in a scale of one to ten. In due time they will get it right! Right now I am just bitter that I can't pull up and say to my favorite employees' Jake and Debbie, "I'll have my usual". This too shall pass.....
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
I first noticed they were open Saturday morning on my way to Emma's soccer game. I didn't stop because I was all ready running late (Shocking, I know!). The reason I was running late this particular time? Well, I had stopped at Starbucks to get my bean juice fix. I seriously considering stopping at Overlatte on my way home but I was all ready too hopped up on the venti pumpkin spice latte.
When we got home from the game, I decided to blog because I hadn't done any blogging for a couple of days. With my blog complete, I made the executive decision to lay down on the couch and relax for a bit. For unknown reasons, I couldn't focus on sleep. I asked Emma if she wanted to run to Easton and use her birthday money. She was game and off we went to Barnes and Noble with a pit stop at Overlatte Cafe. Emma ordered a hot chocolate and I, my usual, a non-fat milky way with whip cream. I guess I should have been more specific about my order because they gave me my "usual" as a frozen bevereage rather than hot. Not wanting to get off on the wrong foot, I didn't complain.
I have been several times since then and everytime I have to be extrodinarily specific. Despite the fact that I am overly specific, each and every time I pull up to the window they ask me again what I ordered and if I want skim milk. Hello??? Doesn't non-fat in the coffee world mean skim milk? They close the window and go to work and inevitably come back and ask if I want light or regular whip cream. Honestly, does it matter? What's the difference in a light whip cream? Fifteen calories at best! Furthermore, focus on the important part; getting the coffee right.
As of right now, I would give Overlatte Cafe a six in a scale of one to ten. In due time they will get it right! Right now I am just bitter that I can't pull up and say to my favorite employees' Jake and Debbie, "I'll have my usual". This too shall pass.....
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Mom, We Missed The Bus
My day started like this; Mom, we missed the bus! Normally, the first thing that would pop into a parent's mind would be anger followed by, "Great! Now I have to get up, get dressed and drive your astronaut to school!" But not me, no, the first thing that entered my mind was laughter. I started laughing! You see, my sister is writing a book called Mom, I missed the bus!. So as I laid there half asleep, all I could think about was my sister's funny manuscript about raising kids. Finally, I got myself awake enough to look at the clock and realized I could sleep ten more minutes. I told Abigail to wake me up at 7:00am and to let Torros out.
Promptly at 7:00am, Abigail stood over me summoning me out of bed. I had hoped that I would get to sleep in again this morning but I guess this wasn't in the cards today. I got up, got dressed and drove Emma and Abigail to school. All the while hoping that no one would see me. I didn't bother to brush my hair, in fact, I just threw on some mismatched clothes sans undergarments and was ready to go. As I sit here typing this, I am reminded of a similar situation that happened to me as a teenager.
In high school I drove a 1979 Mustang. It wasn't the best car in the world but in those days, (GAWD! Did I really just type "in those days"?) we were happy to have any kind of car. Have you driven past any high school parking lot these days and looked at the vehicles parked in the lot? Seriously, a vast majority of the cars in a high school parking lot are way better than anything I could have hoped to drive! Shoot, some of them are nicer than what I drive now. Okay focus Krissy, focus.....My Mustang had issues, a cracked engine block to be exact. However, it drove despite the grey fog that seeped out the tailpipe while cruising along. It was for this reason that my friends thought it would be funny to get me a key chain that read, "Keys to the Shit mobile".
One morning I was following my normal routine of getting ready, picking up Michelle and heading to school when tragedy struck. Tragedy? I think that's a little mellow-dramatic for the situation but whatever. Michelle was in the car, we were headed to school when low and behold my car just died. Luckily we weren't far from her house and were able to go back inside and call my Mom. You might also note that we didn't have cellphones then or we wouldn't have had to get out of the car. My Mom, apparently in a similar prediciment as I was in this morning jumped into action. She was quickly there to drive us to school. On the ride there she felt it necessary to announce to us that she hoped we didn't get in an accident because she wasn't wearing any underwear! What the????? Seriously, Michelle and I both burst into laughter. For me it was utter humiliation and for Michelle, I can only guess it was simply hysterical.
This brings me to my next topic. Why do people of a certain generation worry about having clean underwear on in the event of an accident? Let's be honest, if you get into a fender bender you aren't likely to soil your britches. If by chance the accident is severe enough to cause you to lose control, are you really going to care what your underwear look like? Your first thought after a serious accident, "Oh dear! I hope my underwear are clean!" I think not!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Promptly at 7:00am, Abigail stood over me summoning me out of bed. I had hoped that I would get to sleep in again this morning but I guess this wasn't in the cards today. I got up, got dressed and drove Emma and Abigail to school. All the while hoping that no one would see me. I didn't bother to brush my hair, in fact, I just threw on some mismatched clothes sans undergarments and was ready to go. As I sit here typing this, I am reminded of a similar situation that happened to me as a teenager.
In high school I drove a 1979 Mustang. It wasn't the best car in the world but in those days, (GAWD! Did I really just type "in those days"?) we were happy to have any kind of car. Have you driven past any high school parking lot these days and looked at the vehicles parked in the lot? Seriously, a vast majority of the cars in a high school parking lot are way better than anything I could have hoped to drive! Shoot, some of them are nicer than what I drive now. Okay focus Krissy, focus.....My Mustang had issues, a cracked engine block to be exact. However, it drove despite the grey fog that seeped out the tailpipe while cruising along. It was for this reason that my friends thought it would be funny to get me a key chain that read, "Keys to the Shit mobile".
One morning I was following my normal routine of getting ready, picking up Michelle and heading to school when tragedy struck. Tragedy? I think that's a little mellow-dramatic for the situation but whatever. Michelle was in the car, we were headed to school when low and behold my car just died. Luckily we weren't far from her house and were able to go back inside and call my Mom. You might also note that we didn't have cellphones then or we wouldn't have had to get out of the car. My Mom, apparently in a similar prediciment as I was in this morning jumped into action. She was quickly there to drive us to school. On the ride there she felt it necessary to announce to us that she hoped we didn't get in an accident because she wasn't wearing any underwear! What the????? Seriously, Michelle and I both burst into laughter. For me it was utter humiliation and for Michelle, I can only guess it was simply hysterical.
This brings me to my next topic. Why do people of a certain generation worry about having clean underwear on in the event of an accident? Let's be honest, if you get into a fender bender you aren't likely to soil your britches. If by chance the accident is severe enough to cause you to lose control, are you really going to care what your underwear look like? Your first thought after a serious accident, "Oh dear! I hope my underwear are clean!" I think not!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Bitch Blog
Yes, you read that right! This is in fact going to be a bitch blog today! I am feeling bitchy and I need to get it out somewhere. Unfortunately, you are my audience. Sorry about your luck. Of course, I could state the obvious which is you could stop reading right now but I bet you will be able to relate. I will at the very least try to make it humorous.
I think China (and other similar countries might be onto something) has been on to something for quite sometime in regards to children. A few things about this country stand out in my mind and I am going to share them with you in the following paragraphs.
*FYI: I am not following the "rules" in my writing today either.*
The first thing that really stands out in my mind is that on average, China's children spend 8.6 hours a day at school, with some spending 12 hours a day in the classroom. What parent couldn't appreciate those long school days? That doesn't even count the amount of time that they have to spend on homework and possible music lessons, etc. Here in the United States, our children go to school an average of 6.5 to 7 hours a day. Is it any wonder we are behind other countries in education? I don't know if they go to school year round there but I am a huge supporter of that movement.
Next is their opinion about child labor. Get out there, get a job in a sweat shop and pull your weight around here when you aren't in school! I heard on television the other day, it is estimated that it will cost parents $250,000 to raise one child to adulthood. I suck at math but let me work this problem out for you, k? I have four children and on an average each of these children will cost me $250,000;
4 x $250,000.00 = $1,000,000.00! YIKES! The real question here is should I add in interest for all of the things that I have had to charge because I all ready spent all my cash on them? Really, if that were the case, we might as well call it $2,000,000.00! GET A JOB KIDS!
Finally, limitation of offspring. In China, you are only allowed to have two children. It makes no difference if you have two boys, two girls or one of each - The choice is yours which ones you keep! However, it is important to know that boys are considered to be far superior to girls in China. What would this mean to someone like me who has been blessed (or cursed) with four girls? Who would I have kept or stuck in an orphanage so I could try again for a boy? I wonder if you can take them on a trial basis? I could keep two girls until they turn into brats, turn them in and try again for a boy? I couldn't say for sure but I do know one thing, two kids are a lot easier than four kids.
By now, you are probably asking yourself, "Where is this coming from?" and wondering if I have fallen off my rocker! The answer is simple, I am worn out from these kids! No one warned me how much work they would be or how much money I would have to spend to supply their basic needs; let alone their wants! Kids are ungrateful and they don't care about your feelings or sacrifices. Two things brought this on today. The first of which was me getting up (all ready feeling like shit no thanks to an abscess tooth that I can't do anything about until January 1st) and taking a look around my messy house. I threatened them all with taking away the things they love. For the big kids this was their electronics, IE; cellphones, nook, camera, computer and anything that ran on batteries. For the little ones, it was the threat of taking away all of their toys.
Abigail responded fairly quickly to my order of getting the house picked up. Honestly, this probably had nothing to do with the possibility of losing anything. Abigail by nature is all about order! She likes things to be organized and predictable. Emma on the other hand, she could care less about anything being in its place. She is the polar opposite of Abigail in this respect. Emma is...well...there is just no nice way to say lazy! Her room could be considered a bio hazard. No worries about losing her either, your just follow her path of discarded belongings and it will lead you directly to her. Shoot, one time I came close to finding her between couch cushions! Anyway, I put them to work around the house and continued to work on my cleaning. Eventually I decided to take a smoke break and Emma followed me outside to tell me what Abigail had said about me. She was probably also trying to get out of working! Emma comes out on to the deck and proceeds to tell me Abigail had said that I was probably getting ready to start my period! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Is this what 12 year olds are really like? I must be getting ready to have my period because I am disgusted by their lack of work ethic? I didn't bother to say anything to Abigail because quite frankly, what would be the point?
Olivia and Sarah come with their own challenges in the cleaning area. Number one on their list of issues is lack of focus. They are just not able to focus at the task at hand for more than a few minutes. I normally try to work around this problem in creative ways but today I feel like crap and just want the toys picked up and put away. My threat to them was to get rid of all the toys if they aren't picked up. Here is how the conversation went with Sarah:
Me: I want you two to go downstairs and pick up your toys.
Olivia and Sarah: Okay Mommy
Me: I mean it, I am going to take a shower and when I get done they had better be picked up!
Olivia and Sarah: Okay Mommy
Me: I am serious girls! If they are not picked up, I am going to pack them all up and take them away.
Olivia: Okay Mommy (Olivia is an agreeable child)
Sarah: Welllll, just take them away then Mommy!
Me: Pardon me?
Sarah: *dead silence*
Olivia quickly vacates the area (she is also not stupid)
Me: What did you say to me Sarah? (because I thought may be I was hearing things)
Sarah: Take them away Mommy!
Me: You can yourself a seat in timeout and when the timer goes off you may go clean!
Sarah: CRYING
Now I would love to tell you that any of this was effective but it would be a bold faced lie. I took a shower and the mess was unmoved. If I were feeling more motivated I would have immediately gone downstairs as promised and packed it all up. However, as I think I mentioned I feel like crap today so I instead gave them another opportunity to succeed. The timer has been set for 30 minutes and then I am seriously going to stick to my word. I am over the toys, twelve years of toys is too much for any one person to bear!
In hindsight, I should have entitled this blog, "The Ways of the World! Installment #1"
Sincerely,
The Queen on Insanity
I think China (and other similar countries might be onto something) has been on to something for quite sometime in regards to children. A few things about this country stand out in my mind and I am going to share them with you in the following paragraphs.
*FYI: I am not following the "rules" in my writing today either.*
The first thing that really stands out in my mind is that on average, China's children spend 8.6 hours a day at school, with some spending 12 hours a day in the classroom. What parent couldn't appreciate those long school days? That doesn't even count the amount of time that they have to spend on homework and possible music lessons, etc. Here in the United States, our children go to school an average of 6.5 to 7 hours a day. Is it any wonder we are behind other countries in education? I don't know if they go to school year round there but I am a huge supporter of that movement.
Next is their opinion about child labor. Get out there, get a job in a sweat shop and pull your weight around here when you aren't in school! I heard on television the other day, it is estimated that it will cost parents $250,000 to raise one child to adulthood. I suck at math but let me work this problem out for you, k? I have four children and on an average each of these children will cost me $250,000;
4 x $250,000.00 = $1,000,000.00! YIKES! The real question here is should I add in interest for all of the things that I have had to charge because I all ready spent all my cash on them? Really, if that were the case, we might as well call it $2,000,000.00! GET A JOB KIDS!
Finally, limitation of offspring. In China, you are only allowed to have two children. It makes no difference if you have two boys, two girls or one of each - The choice is yours which ones you keep! However, it is important to know that boys are considered to be far superior to girls in China. What would this mean to someone like me who has been blessed (or cursed) with four girls? Who would I have kept or stuck in an orphanage so I could try again for a boy? I wonder if you can take them on a trial basis? I could keep two girls until they turn into brats, turn them in and try again for a boy? I couldn't say for sure but I do know one thing, two kids are a lot easier than four kids.
By now, you are probably asking yourself, "Where is this coming from?" and wondering if I have fallen off my rocker! The answer is simple, I am worn out from these kids! No one warned me how much work they would be or how much money I would have to spend to supply their basic needs; let alone their wants! Kids are ungrateful and they don't care about your feelings or sacrifices. Two things brought this on today. The first of which was me getting up (all ready feeling like shit no thanks to an abscess tooth that I can't do anything about until January 1st) and taking a look around my messy house. I threatened them all with taking away the things they love. For the big kids this was their electronics, IE; cellphones, nook, camera, computer and anything that ran on batteries. For the little ones, it was the threat of taking away all of their toys.
Abigail responded fairly quickly to my order of getting the house picked up. Honestly, this probably had nothing to do with the possibility of losing anything. Abigail by nature is all about order! She likes things to be organized and predictable. Emma on the other hand, she could care less about anything being in its place. She is the polar opposite of Abigail in this respect. Emma is...well...there is just no nice way to say lazy! Her room could be considered a bio hazard. No worries about losing her either, your just follow her path of discarded belongings and it will lead you directly to her. Shoot, one time I came close to finding her between couch cushions! Anyway, I put them to work around the house and continued to work on my cleaning. Eventually I decided to take a smoke break and Emma followed me outside to tell me what Abigail had said about me. She was probably also trying to get out of working! Emma comes out on to the deck and proceeds to tell me Abigail had said that I was probably getting ready to start my period! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Is this what 12 year olds are really like? I must be getting ready to have my period because I am disgusted by their lack of work ethic? I didn't bother to say anything to Abigail because quite frankly, what would be the point?
Olivia and Sarah come with their own challenges in the cleaning area. Number one on their list of issues is lack of focus. They are just not able to focus at the task at hand for more than a few minutes. I normally try to work around this problem in creative ways but today I feel like crap and just want the toys picked up and put away. My threat to them was to get rid of all the toys if they aren't picked up. Here is how the conversation went with Sarah:
Me: I want you two to go downstairs and pick up your toys.
Olivia and Sarah: Okay Mommy
Me: I mean it, I am going to take a shower and when I get done they had better be picked up!
Olivia and Sarah: Okay Mommy
Me: I am serious girls! If they are not picked up, I am going to pack them all up and take them away.
Olivia: Okay Mommy (Olivia is an agreeable child)
Sarah: Welllll, just take them away then Mommy!
Me: Pardon me?
Sarah: *dead silence*
Olivia quickly vacates the area (she is also not stupid)
Me: What did you say to me Sarah? (because I thought may be I was hearing things)
Sarah: Take them away Mommy!
Me: You can yourself a seat in timeout and when the timer goes off you may go clean!
Sarah: CRYING
Now I would love to tell you that any of this was effective but it would be a bold faced lie. I took a shower and the mess was unmoved. If I were feeling more motivated I would have immediately gone downstairs as promised and packed it all up. However, as I think I mentioned I feel like crap today so I instead gave them another opportunity to succeed. The timer has been set for 30 minutes and then I am seriously going to stick to my word. I am over the toys, twelve years of toys is too much for any one person to bear!
In hindsight, I should have entitled this blog, "The Ways of the World! Installment #1"
Sincerely,
The Queen on Insanity
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Latex Allergies are NOT funny (WARNING TMI)
As you know, Emma and Abigail turned twelve on Wednesday. We had an intimate party of immediate family only. We served pizza, cake and key lime pie and of course, the girls' got presents. There was just one issue at the party; I made the mistake of purchasing one mylar balloon and eleven latex balloons for each of them. If you don't already know, I am allergic to latex. It was probably stupid of me to think I could outwit my allergy but I thought this once, I would make the sacrifice for my girls. Turns out I was wrong!
When I tell people I am allergic to latex they immediately start laughing. The very first thing that pops into everyone's mind is condoms (which leads me to believe everyone I run into is perverted)! Without fail every single person laughs as soon as I tell them about my allergy. Ironically, the way I discovered I was allergic was going through infertility treatment while trying to conceive Emma and Abigail. You see when you are going through treatments, almost every single appointment you are given a trans vaginal ultrasound. And what do they use on the ultrasound wand? Latex condoms. After every appointment I would become extremely itchy and would have swelling down below. After several visits, we came to the conclusion I was apparently allergic to latex. From this point on I have tried to avoid latex.
Back to the party, I tried to be cautious about my exposure. When I brought the balloons home, I immediately put them upstairs in Emma's room as to minimize my time around them. Before the party started I gave them their balloons by sending them to retrieve them and told them they could do as they wished with them but to remember to keep them away from me. They were very good about keeping them together and away from anywhere I would come in direct contact with them.
With the party in full swing, my father-in-law, who is apparently extremely forgetful, decides to cut some of the balloons down and proceeds to give them to Ryan, Olivia, Sarah and Emily. Now, I am not opposed to the children enjoying themselves and running around like crazy little fools; but what I am completely against is them running around with an allergen that could seriously send me into anaphylatic shock! I tried to grin and bear it but before you know it, I was hacking and could feel my throat restricting. I turned to Scott and told him where my epipen was, just in case, and he looked at me like I was insane. May be he wants me dead? Anyway, it didn't kill me but it certainly played a number on my ability to breath with ease and put pressure on my sinuses. This reaction in turn put pressure on my abscess tooth!
Thursday was a horribly miserable day for me. Luckily, my dentist called in antibiotics for my tooth and I drugged up on whatever pain killer I could find. I was never so happy to see bedtime as I was that night! I was dead asleep and woke up in excruciating pain at 2am and was up until 4am. The best part of it all, besides taking a serious pain killer, was when Scott came home from work at 3am and evidently thought I had "waited" up for him! Seriously!?! He kept saying, "You coming up to bed? HUH? You coming?" Dude, you are sadly mistaken if you think I am "coming up to bed" with you. Just yesterday you were wishing me dead by not caring about where my epipen was and now you want me to "come up to bed" with you? Men, aren't they dandy?
Just so you know, latex allergies are actually very serious. There are so many things that contain latex that you don't even think about, like band aides and certain balls, for instance. Which actually just gave me a great idea! Sorry Scott, I can't come to bed with you because your balls could possibly contain latex! HA! I crack myself up! Seriously though, I can't even get a flu shot because the type of syringes they use to administer them contain latex. It's not a laughing matter my friends!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
When I tell people I am allergic to latex they immediately start laughing. The very first thing that pops into everyone's mind is condoms (which leads me to believe everyone I run into is perverted)! Without fail every single person laughs as soon as I tell them about my allergy. Ironically, the way I discovered I was allergic was going through infertility treatment while trying to conceive Emma and Abigail. You see when you are going through treatments, almost every single appointment you are given a trans vaginal ultrasound. And what do they use on the ultrasound wand? Latex condoms. After every appointment I would become extremely itchy and would have swelling down below. After several visits, we came to the conclusion I was apparently allergic to latex. From this point on I have tried to avoid latex.
Back to the party, I tried to be cautious about my exposure. When I brought the balloons home, I immediately put them upstairs in Emma's room as to minimize my time around them. Before the party started I gave them their balloons by sending them to retrieve them and told them they could do as they wished with them but to remember to keep them away from me. They were very good about keeping them together and away from anywhere I would come in direct contact with them.
With the party in full swing, my father-in-law, who is apparently extremely forgetful, decides to cut some of the balloons down and proceeds to give them to Ryan, Olivia, Sarah and Emily. Now, I am not opposed to the children enjoying themselves and running around like crazy little fools; but what I am completely against is them running around with an allergen that could seriously send me into anaphylatic shock! I tried to grin and bear it but before you know it, I was hacking and could feel my throat restricting. I turned to Scott and told him where my epipen was, just in case, and he looked at me like I was insane. May be he wants me dead? Anyway, it didn't kill me but it certainly played a number on my ability to breath with ease and put pressure on my sinuses. This reaction in turn put pressure on my abscess tooth!
Thursday was a horribly miserable day for me. Luckily, my dentist called in antibiotics for my tooth and I drugged up on whatever pain killer I could find. I was never so happy to see bedtime as I was that night! I was dead asleep and woke up in excruciating pain at 2am and was up until 4am. The best part of it all, besides taking a serious pain killer, was when Scott came home from work at 3am and evidently thought I had "waited" up for him! Seriously!?! He kept saying, "You coming up to bed? HUH? You coming?" Dude, you are sadly mistaken if you think I am "coming up to bed" with you. Just yesterday you were wishing me dead by not caring about where my epipen was and now you want me to "come up to bed" with you? Men, aren't they dandy?
Just so you know, latex allergies are actually very serious. There are so many things that contain latex that you don't even think about, like band aides and certain balls, for instance. Which actually just gave me a great idea! Sorry Scott, I can't come to bed with you because your balls could possibly contain latex! HA! I crack myself up! Seriously though, I can't even get a flu shot because the type of syringes they use to administer them contain latex. It's not a laughing matter my friends!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Happy Birthday Emma and Abigail
Twelve years ago today I was blessed with two beautiful little baby girls! I am not sure now if I am blessed or cursed as I have been "blessed" with two more beautiful girls since. I couldn't say for sure but I think either Scott or I have been given the parental curse; You know the one passed down generation to generation?
Anyway, I am truly amazed at how quickly the time has passed. I can remember bringing these two tiny little babies home home from the hospital and being terrified. Terrified that we would get in a car wreck before we even made it home. Not to mention, all the challenges that parenting would bring. Here is how the years have panned out for me:
Year 1: I do not remember anything! I call it the black hole.
Year 2: Let the terror begin
Year 3: Let the terror continue (Terror = the would seek and destroy everything)
Year 4: I LOVE FOUR YEAR OLDS!
Year 5: WHERE IS THEIR FATHER???? IRAQ? Why didn't I join the Army?
Year 6: YAY SCHOOL!!!!!
Year 7: YAY ALL DAY SCHOOL!!!!!
Year 8: Who are these snot nose brats?
Year 9: Really? Who's kids are these? I am not kidding!
Year 10: SERIOUSLY? Who do they think they are rolling their eyes at me?
Year 11: Why am I being punished?
Year 12: Countdown till they are teenagers begins.....
On a more positive note, I do love the two of them with all my heart and I can't imagine a day without them as my girls!
Sincerely,
The Queen (who caused all of this) Insanity
Day 7 Without Smoothie Brews
MCDONALDS LATTE'S SUCK!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Where The Hell Can I Get a Decent Cup of Joe
Sincerely,
The Queen of Where The Hell Can I Get a Decent Cup of Joe
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Halloween Costumes
This year I decided that I wasn't spending a boat load of money on costumes for the kids. While the little ones will play in them long after Halloween is over, the bigger kids will not! Let's Start with Sarah's digs.
This is my Halloween witch tutu creation. This was dirt cheap to make and I got the hat at Goodwill for 95 cents. I sprayed it with Lysol before placing it on her head. Somewhere in this house I have a long sleeve black leotard, must find that!
Olivia is being a bumble bee for Halloween. It is exactly the same costume Sarah had last year! I got her costume at Goodwill for $3.99. All I need to do now is make her some bug antanes and some tights. Good to go!
Emma is being Elfaba from Wicked. For those of you who aren't familiar with Wicked, Elfaba is the wicked witch of the west - but as it turns out, isn't all that wicked! I got Emma's digs at Goodwill for a grand total of $7.99. That total includes; dress, boots, hat and a green turtle neck. We are on the hunt for green tights now.
Abigail is being GaLinda the "good witch" but you may just know her as Glinda. I got her dress at Goodwil as well. The dress was $5.99 but get this, it had a green tag! You will never guess what that means at Goodwill so I am just going to tell you, HALF OFF! $2.99, my friends! WOOT WOOT! Natalie came to the rescue to make the dress pouffy and loaned us a peticoat. Now we just need to make it sparkle. Here is a preview of the dress before we do anything to it!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Olivia is being a bumble bee for Halloween. It is exactly the same costume Sarah had last year! I got her costume at Goodwill for $3.99. All I need to do now is make her some bug antanes and some tights. Good to go!
Emma is being Elfaba from Wicked. For those of you who aren't familiar with Wicked, Elfaba is the wicked witch of the west - but as it turns out, isn't all that wicked! I got Emma's digs at Goodwill for a grand total of $7.99. That total includes; dress, boots, hat and a green turtle neck. We are on the hunt for green tights now.
Abigail is being GaLinda the "good witch" but you may just know her as Glinda. I got her dress at Goodwil as well. The dress was $5.99 but get this, it had a green tag! You will never guess what that means at Goodwill so I am just going to tell you, HALF OFF! $2.99, my friends! WOOT WOOT! Natalie came to the rescue to make the dress pouffy and loaned us a peticoat. Now we just need to make it sparkle. Here is a preview of the dress before we do anything to it!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Day 6 Without Smootie Brews
I am having complete and total withdrawal from Smoothie Brews. I have found other sources to get my daily fix. The only one that comes close is 15 minutes from my home.
I am not in love with Starbucks. One of my friends absolutely lives for Starbucks and I understand her need to have it. It is just that no matter how hard I try, I can't "love" it. I think their coffee is just "ok" and expensive. That being said, I have had to cups of their coffee today. My first was a venti (large) skinny carmel macciato and my second was a grande (medium) pumpkin spice latte. The pumpkin spice was yummy for a Starbucks coffee.
At this point, I am just waiting for Overlatte Cafe to open it's door so that I can get my coffee back! On and more positive note; because I can't go get my coffee in the morning, I have gotten an extra hour of sleep!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
I am not in love with Starbucks. One of my friends absolutely lives for Starbucks and I understand her need to have it. It is just that no matter how hard I try, I can't "love" it. I think their coffee is just "ok" and expensive. That being said, I have had to cups of their coffee today. My first was a venti (large) skinny carmel macciato and my second was a grande (medium) pumpkin spice latte. The pumpkin spice was yummy for a Starbucks coffee.
At this point, I am just waiting for Overlatte Cafe to open it's door so that I can get my coffee back! On and more positive note; because I can't go get my coffee in the morning, I have gotten an extra hour of sleep!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Please Keep Your Fluids Contained!
Last night I feel asleep on the couch and then remained there till this morning! The last thing I remember before drifting off into sweet slumber was Scott asking me if I was still awake and I replied, "Yup, I am still awake!" It could have only been 30 seconds later before I was out of commission! I must give him credit though, he did set the timer on the stove to wake me up this morning. God love him!
I woke up around 5:40am and patiently waited for Bella to arrive so that I could go back to the couch and sleep a little longer. While I was up, I made sure that Emma and Abigail were up and moving for the day. Once Bella had made it here and I had put her down in the pack and play, I was fast asleep again in no time at all. The next thing I know it is 7:20am. I still need to get a shower, get Olivia up, ready for school and at the bus stop by 8:10am! I jumped into the shower and decided that shaving my legs wasn't a necessity today (actually it should have been a top priority but there simply wasn't enough time). I quickly got ready and went to wake up Satan's little spawn (AKA: Olivia) up for the day. She is such a pain in the mornings with her protests! She never wants to get up, she is always too tired or too cold, it's always something! I pry her out of bed, get her dressed and to the bus stop with minimal time to spare. I picked up Jakob and headed home for round three.
Let me first say that Jakob is 7 months old. He is a cutie pie and for the most part is as happy as any 7 month old can be. Before going up to get Sarah and Bella up for the day, we played for a bit and I had him on my lap. We were singing a little song about the Grand ole Duke of York when it happened. All of the sudden I notice the ever distinctive smell of a dirty diaper.....but wait....I feel something warm on my legs.... Yes, I had been pooped on thanks to a blowout diaper! Having breastfed all of my kids, I thought this was a nursed child thing, I digress.
Sarah and Bella are so much more cheerful in the mornings than the other kids. They make me smile with their "Good Mornings" and bright smiling faces! This morning, was no different except for one thing - a wet bed! What the hello kitty is going on around here today??? Seriously!!! I had to strip Sarah's bed and then with stinky, wet sheets in hand bring the two of them down. I fixed their breakfast and got them dressed. Only slight protesting from Sarah who was apparently irritated that I picked jeans and a long sleeve shirt rather than a dress for her to wear today. With the two girls dressed and Jakob clean and re-dressed we are ready to take on the day!
Sarah usually has Tuesday School today but they were taking a field trip to a local pumpkin farm today. Since I do not have rocks for a brain, I made the choice for us to take a field trip to Target instead. After all, it is chilly out today and sprinkling off and on. Not to mention, I have no desire to take a 7 month old, 2 and 3 year old to a pumpkin patch full of allergens (all about me) in the crappy weather! Of course, loading up three kids who all require carseats isn't exactly ideal either but at least I can get a cup of coffee at Target to keep my blood pumping! A little car ride to the store, unload all three of them from the car and in to the store we go. I am sure people were staring at me and wondering what would possess me to make this trek! It turns out, taking three children, three and under to Target is good for the budget. For the first time ever in the existence of Target, I got out of there for under $25.00 (including pumpkin spice latte)!
We came home and everyone had lunch. Olivia got off the bus without an accident for the first time in a week and had her lunch. I switched my fourth load of laundry today and now I am patiently awaiting nap time for the kids so I can work on Sarah's Halloween costume.
All of this occurred before 12:30pm. Who wants to step into my shoes??? Any takers??? Come on you bunch of chickens!!!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
I woke up around 5:40am and patiently waited for Bella to arrive so that I could go back to the couch and sleep a little longer. While I was up, I made sure that Emma and Abigail were up and moving for the day. Once Bella had made it here and I had put her down in the pack and play, I was fast asleep again in no time at all. The next thing I know it is 7:20am. I still need to get a shower, get Olivia up, ready for school and at the bus stop by 8:10am! I jumped into the shower and decided that shaving my legs wasn't a necessity today (actually it should have been a top priority but there simply wasn't enough time). I quickly got ready and went to wake up Satan's little spawn (AKA: Olivia) up for the day. She is such a pain in the mornings with her protests! She never wants to get up, she is always too tired or too cold, it's always something! I pry her out of bed, get her dressed and to the bus stop with minimal time to spare. I picked up Jakob and headed home for round three.
Let me first say that Jakob is 7 months old. He is a cutie pie and for the most part is as happy as any 7 month old can be. Before going up to get Sarah and Bella up for the day, we played for a bit and I had him on my lap. We were singing a little song about the Grand ole Duke of York when it happened. All of the sudden I notice the ever distinctive smell of a dirty diaper.....but wait....I feel something warm on my legs.... Yes, I had been pooped on thanks to a blowout diaper! Having breastfed all of my kids, I thought this was a nursed child thing, I digress.
Sarah and Bella are so much more cheerful in the mornings than the other kids. They make me smile with their "Good Mornings" and bright smiling faces! This morning, was no different except for one thing - a wet bed! What the hello kitty is going on around here today??? Seriously!!! I had to strip Sarah's bed and then with stinky, wet sheets in hand bring the two of them down. I fixed their breakfast and got them dressed. Only slight protesting from Sarah who was apparently irritated that I picked jeans and a long sleeve shirt rather than a dress for her to wear today. With the two girls dressed and Jakob clean and re-dressed we are ready to take on the day!
Sarah usually has Tuesday School today but they were taking a field trip to a local pumpkin farm today. Since I do not have rocks for a brain, I made the choice for us to take a field trip to Target instead. After all, it is chilly out today and sprinkling off and on. Not to mention, I have no desire to take a 7 month old, 2 and 3 year old to a pumpkin patch full of allergens (all about me) in the crappy weather! Of course, loading up three kids who all require carseats isn't exactly ideal either but at least I can get a cup of coffee at Target to keep my blood pumping! A little car ride to the store, unload all three of them from the car and in to the store we go. I am sure people were staring at me and wondering what would possess me to make this trek! It turns out, taking three children, three and under to Target is good for the budget. For the first time ever in the existence of Target, I got out of there for under $25.00 (including pumpkin spice latte)!
We came home and everyone had lunch. Olivia got off the bus without an accident for the first time in a week and had her lunch. I switched my fourth load of laundry today and now I am patiently awaiting nap time for the kids so I can work on Sarah's Halloween costume.
All of this occurred before 12:30pm. Who wants to step into my shoes??? Any takers??? Come on you bunch of chickens!!!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Friday, October 1, 2010
Reconstructed
Okay, I need your opinions....How do you feel about my new layout? Does it even matter?
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Day 2 - Life Without Smoothie Brews
Hi, my name is Krissy (Hi Krissy!) and it has been two days since my last Smoothie Brew coffee.
The first time I had a coffee from Smoothie Brews I thought I could handle it. I would be in control. I don't even really like coffee. It's just a flavored mocha, what could it hurt? Just this one time, it'll be okay.
At first, I only went every once awhile. Then I found myself going every couple of days and before you know it every day. It progressed to the point that I was going everyday, twice a day! Sometimes I would even go three times in one day. It was a serious problem to my budget. I say this because there were times that I gathered up change to pay for a milky way fix. I could always find a way to pay for one. At my lowest point, and I am embarrassed to admit it, I would deny my kids a strawberry smoothie so that I could afford my fix.
I did find another place to get a fix yesterday but I dont' think it counts since it wasn't Smoothie Brews.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
The first time I had a coffee from Smoothie Brews I thought I could handle it. I would be in control. I don't even really like coffee. It's just a flavored mocha, what could it hurt? Just this one time, it'll be okay.
At first, I only went every once awhile. Then I found myself going every couple of days and before you know it every day. It progressed to the point that I was going everyday, twice a day! Sometimes I would even go three times in one day. It was a serious problem to my budget. I say this because there were times that I gathered up change to pay for a milky way fix. I could always find a way to pay for one. At my lowest point, and I am embarrassed to admit it, I would deny my kids a strawberry smoothie so that I could afford my fix.
I did find another place to get a fix yesterday but I dont' think it counts since it wasn't Smoothie Brews.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Day 1 Without Smoothie Brews
I didn't know what to do with myself without going to get my usual cup of Joe! Last night, I ground some coffee beans and used the programming feature on my coffee pot so that I would have coffee first thing this morning. It just wasn't the same, I digress.
When I went to Walmart this morning, I remembered that there was a red cup coffee place across the street. SCORE! My nephew, Josh, works there at 5 Bean Cafe but he wasn't there this morning. I apparently just missed him. None-the-less, I got my Milky Way fix.
Let's see how I do tomorrow.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Addiction....I mean Insanity
When I went to Walmart this morning, I remembered that there was a red cup coffee place across the street. SCORE! My nephew, Josh, works there at 5 Bean Cafe but he wasn't there this morning. I apparently just missed him. None-the-less, I got my Milky Way fix.
Let's see how I do tomorrow.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Addiction....I mean Insanity
The Day in Progress
This morning I got an extra hour and twenty minutes of sleep - woohoo! Of course, one would think this would have gotten my day off to a good start, not the case. I woke up with a sinus headache right off the bat! Goodness, it's always something! On a positive note, Emma and Abigail actually understood that I was really not getting up to get them on the bus today and responded appropriately.
My head was hurting and I thought may be when I got into the hot shower it was tame down some but that was not the case. I got dressed and woke up Olivia for the day. Sarah was all ready up and had tried to wake me at 6:45am and I told her in no uncertain terms, I was not getting out of bed until 7:00am. Got both of them dressed and ready to head off to their prospective schools. Jakob (a new little one I babysit) went to Walmart to get a few things. Now, one would assume that having realized right off that bat that I had a sinus headache, I would have taken something right away. Nope, I sure didn't. I was happy to get my shopping trip over with and get home to take something.
With Sudafed and ibuprofen on board I was able to clean out the summer clothes in my closet and replace them with my fall/winter attire. That was the extent of it though because I was quickly worn out. After putting Jakob down for a little nap, I took a catnap myself! When I woke up, I decided it was high time I put away laundry I had done three days ago.
Yup, that's the extent of my day thus far.....
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
My head was hurting and I thought may be when I got into the hot shower it was tame down some but that was not the case. I got dressed and woke up Olivia for the day. Sarah was all ready up and had tried to wake me at 6:45am and I told her in no uncertain terms, I was not getting out of bed until 7:00am. Got both of them dressed and ready to head off to their prospective schools. Jakob (a new little one I babysit) went to Walmart to get a few things. Now, one would assume that having realized right off that bat that I had a sinus headache, I would have taken something right away. Nope, I sure didn't. I was happy to get my shopping trip over with and get home to take something.
With Sudafed and ibuprofen on board I was able to clean out the summer clothes in my closet and replace them with my fall/winter attire. That was the extent of it though because I was quickly worn out. After putting Jakob down for a little nap, I took a catnap myself! When I woke up, I decided it was high time I put away laundry I had done three days ago.
Yup, that's the extent of my day thus far.....
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Real Housewife of Pataskala
My point? Yes, I have one. I am tired of reality television! The reason? Well, lets be honest, they might be some peoples' realities but I don't think they are the reality for most of us. I know several people who are really into the reality show, "Real Housewives of (fill in the blank)". I personally can not relate to any of them.
First of all, the vast majority of these women on the above mentioned shows are not even "real" housewives. When I think of a housewife, I think of me (obviously) and my friends who stay at home with our kids and manage our homes on a day to day basis sans nannies or housekeepers. Doesn't being a housewife imply that a woman has a husband as well?
Secondly, "reality" on these shows is not really representative of most women who stay at home. I suppose that it makes for good entertainment. Who isn't intrigued by seeing other people's screwed up lives flashing before them on the television? I am guilty! I love Dateline, 20/20, Discovery I.D. and the likes. Honestly, how many women do you know that spend tens of thousands of dollars to throw a sweet 16 party for their daughter or a three year old's birthday party? My guess would be no one that reads this blog!
Finally, my opinion is few people could handle the realities of being a REAL housewife with REAL children on television. I wonder how many people would tune in to a show if my family was the feature presentation? It's doubtful we would have a huge following. Who wants to watch me clean up my child's vomit or urine when they have missed an easily placed target? Uhhh no one! Who wants to follow my car around town, watching me drop a kid off here, drop a kid off there, come home start dinner, turn around and go pick up the children?
The whole reality show phenomenon is seriously a mystery to me. We have shows about all kinds of crazy things these days; hair dressers, cake decorators, fake housewives, polygamists, little people, people with 5 kids, 8 kids, 19 kids! Where does it end? Are we to believe that this is reality? Who's reality is it? I am sorry but I am not drinking the kool-aid!
I seem bitter, don't I? Yeah, that's because I am bitter. I am tired of watching these shows and wondering why I don't have a sister wife to help me out around the house and to share in the rearing of my kids; or why my kids don't all get along all the time and use manners regularly!
The truth is, the past week and a half have been rough for me. Between the kids and their different ailments and my constant state of exhaustion these reality shows have got me all fired up! I have issues! What can I say?
Oh and by the way, Sarah's pink dinosaur stole $3.00 from her purse. It's a sad state of affairs when her own imaginary friend is stealing from her!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
First of all, the vast majority of these women on the above mentioned shows are not even "real" housewives. When I think of a housewife, I think of me (obviously) and my friends who stay at home with our kids and manage our homes on a day to day basis sans nannies or housekeepers. Doesn't being a housewife imply that a woman has a husband as well?
Secondly, "reality" on these shows is not really representative of most women who stay at home. I suppose that it makes for good entertainment. Who isn't intrigued by seeing other people's screwed up lives flashing before them on the television? I am guilty! I love Dateline, 20/20, Discovery I.D. and the likes. Honestly, how many women do you know that spend tens of thousands of dollars to throw a sweet 16 party for their daughter or a three year old's birthday party? My guess would be no one that reads this blog!
Finally, my opinion is few people could handle the realities of being a REAL housewife with REAL children on television. I wonder how many people would tune in to a show if my family was the feature presentation? It's doubtful we would have a huge following. Who wants to watch me clean up my child's vomit or urine when they have missed an easily placed target? Uhhh no one! Who wants to follow my car around town, watching me drop a kid off here, drop a kid off there, come home start dinner, turn around and go pick up the children?
The whole reality show phenomenon is seriously a mystery to me. We have shows about all kinds of crazy things these days; hair dressers, cake decorators, fake housewives, polygamists, little people, people with 5 kids, 8 kids, 19 kids! Where does it end? Are we to believe that this is reality? Who's reality is it? I am sorry but I am not drinking the kool-aid!
I seem bitter, don't I? Yeah, that's because I am bitter. I am tired of watching these shows and wondering why I don't have a sister wife to help me out around the house and to share in the rearing of my kids; or why my kids don't all get along all the time and use manners regularly!
The truth is, the past week and a half have been rough for me. Between the kids and their different ailments and my constant state of exhaustion these reality shows have got me all fired up! I have issues! What can I say?
Oh and by the way, Sarah's pink dinosaur stole $3.00 from her purse. It's a sad state of affairs when her own imaginary friend is stealing from her!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Monday, September 27, 2010
Busy busy weekend.....
Well as usual I had a busy weekend. I am not even sure why I look forward to them anymore! I dont' ever get to just sit around and do nothing but on the other hand, I like to busy.
Saturday the kids and I got up and headed to the soccer field for Emma's game. Since we were running a wee bit behind, I dropped Emma and Abigail at the soccer field and made a quick run back to Smoothie Brews. When I got to Smoothie Brews, I got some disheartening news....Connie has sold the joint and the people buying it are changing it's name. Smoothie Brews will now be called, "Overlatte Cafe". I guess as long as they continue to have my coffee, it will be okay. I will miss the employees that worked at Smoothie Brews, Debbie and Jake. The thing that has me up in arms is that I do not know how to say anything other than, "I'll have my regular, large this morning!". I say it, they know what I want and make it. I guess before Wednesday I need to find out what it's actually called. Oh and the other bad news about this development is that they will be closing down shop for a bit to give the place a little make-over. I don't know what's wrong with the place now but whatever.
After the soccer game was over we came home and I bribed the kids into cleaning the house. I used the angle of promising a secret fun activity later that day if they all helped in getting the house in order. It worked like a charm! The house got straightened up and we headed to Jackson for The Apple Festival! We made a stop to visit my Grandma. It was a bittersweet visit. You see my Grandma is now living in an assisted living facility instead of her house. It was sad not to actually be going to visit her at her own home. I think she is a bit sad about it too but at this point, assisted living is a much better place for her. After visiting with her, we went and visited some other family and went to the the festival.
The kids had a great time at the Apple Festival. We started off our time there eating a bunch of fair food and then moved onto riding some of the rides. I spent entirely too much money there but the kids had a great time and that's what matters.
When we were finished eating and riding rides, we went over to my cousin Mindy's where they were having a pig roast. I would have loved to eat some of that meat but I had over indulged on all the fair food. What a bummer that was! Another bummer was I had all the kids with me. I could have had one heck of a time hanging out and having fun with my cousins! Dont' get me wrong, I had a great time with them but the distraction of trying to keep track of my children was too much responsibility for me! May be I will get an opportunity to hang out with them child free sometime in the future. Anyway, I suddenly discovered that it was after midnight and I had a long drive ahead of me. I loaded up the kids and when we finally got home, it was 2:30am. I set my alarm for 10:00am and went to bed.
Sunday morning I woke up a little after 11:00am, Yes, my alarm was set for 10:00am!!!! Apparently my alarm clock was turned off by an equally exhausted husband. Thanks honey, I really appreciate the extra Zzzz's but we do have plans to be somewhere at noon! Not only were we supposed to be somewhere at noon, the place we were going was a good 45 minutes away from where we live and we needed to drop the two little ones off at their grandparents' house. Best laid plans......
When I woke up, I was in panic mode - which in my opinion is a horrible way to wake up! I immediately sent out texts to my brother and Michelle to inform them that we were running late (as if this would be some sort of surprise to them). It took what seemed like forever for them to respond so I took the extra time to jump in the shower and get everybody moving. Finally my brother, Kevin, called me back but I was in the shower and no one bothered to interrupt me. I called him back and no answer......after awhile he called back. He then proceeds to tell me that he didn't think that we were planning on going canoeing and that he and Michelle were just hanging out leisurely in his garage. WHAT? I could have still be snoozing away! Okay, well we are up, have a babysitter arranged for the little ones, let's go! We decided to meet at Trapper John's around 1:30.
Scott and I got to his Dad's at 1:30pm, hahaha, we seriously have a problem people! However, it was okay that we were still running late because Tammy and her husband, Randy, had decided to go and Kevin and Michelle were waiting to meet them. Around 2:00pm, we were headed toward the canoe livery when we got another text that said Trapper John's couldn't accommodate our canoeing venture because the water was too low and suggested we go to some other place. I think it was called Scioto Canoe. Finally we come to the place they redirected us to and got all the paperwork signed, got our canoes and kayaks and waited. Then we waited and waited some more until finally the guy shows up with this rickety van to transport us to the drop off sight. I am not kidding when I say rickety! The top of this van actually lifted when we hit a bump in the road. Then at last we get to the drop off sight!
The van came to a stop, the driver jumps out and begins unloaded the water crafts onto the ground. While the driver was doing this, I noticed the way down to the water is a steep downhill path. The path did have some makeshift steps which turned out to be helpful. Everyone grabbed their prospective ride and started down the death trap. It was at this point I wished I would have selected a kayak! Scott took off with one canoe and I, of course, was the last one to head down. I guess I was secretly hoping that someone intended to come back up and help but it became evident that I was on my own. I grabbed the front of the canoe and started pulling it down. Slow and steady wins the race, right? I managed to get down the hill without falling to my death.
Before I knew it, we were all on the water paddling away. Kevin, Josh and Michelle were all in kayaks. Tammy and Randy were in one canoe, Scott and I in another and Emma and Abigail in the third. The fighting began before Emma and Abigail were even in the water and continued the entire four miles of the trip. Scott and I were paddling along laughing about Emma and Abigail's excellent teamwork and the fact that we just kept paddling while leaving them behind with other people. We are not stupid! Overall, the trip was pretty relaxing but there were definitely some funny moments.
First of all, we rounded a corner not long after we started of our trip and Michelle somehow managed to tip completely over in her kayak. I know it sucked to get wet because it was a bit chilly out yesterday. Secondly, Tammy was sitting in the front of their canoe, enjoying the scenery while Randy did all the work (this is not an understatement and you will see this in a moment). All of the sudden, Tammy looks down and realizes that her paddle is gone! Where could it have gone? She exclaimed, "I dont' even know how long it's been gone!". I am sure you don't Tammy since you have just been sitting there in the front of the canoe hanging out. Abigail said she saw it but they weren't going back for it. I know this comes as a shock to all of you but the truth is she was too busy telling her sister what to do to be bothered with retrieving her Aunt's paddle. Tammy and Randy (okay RANDY) turned around to go find the paddle and the rest of us paddled ahead to the bank.
We hung out on this little bank for quite a few minutes, skipping rocks, climbing on dead trees and looking at clam shells that were laying around. After awhile we all began loading back up and out to the water. Scott spent a few minutes helping Emma and Abigail get their canoe back out into the water and once they were moving, we began to move ours. Only it didn't go nearly as smoothly as I would have hoped. Scott was in the back holding it while I moved to the front of the canoe. Then it happened, the inevitable, I slipped and my left side went down into the water! All I heard was one of my girls yelling, "MOM'S DOWN! My MOM'S DOWN!" The rest of the trip was quite chilly for me and this is how I know that Michelle had to of been freezing for the majority of the trip.
Eventually we made it back to the livery, parked our canoes and everyone went their separate ways. Scott and I went to meet his Dad for dinner and to pick up our little ones. It was a fun weekend but it left me completely exhausted.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Saturday the kids and I got up and headed to the soccer field for Emma's game. Since we were running a wee bit behind, I dropped Emma and Abigail at the soccer field and made a quick run back to Smoothie Brews. When I got to Smoothie Brews, I got some disheartening news....Connie has sold the joint and the people buying it are changing it's name. Smoothie Brews will now be called, "Overlatte Cafe". I guess as long as they continue to have my coffee, it will be okay. I will miss the employees that worked at Smoothie Brews, Debbie and Jake. The thing that has me up in arms is that I do not know how to say anything other than, "I'll have my regular, large this morning!". I say it, they know what I want and make it. I guess before Wednesday I need to find out what it's actually called. Oh and the other bad news about this development is that they will be closing down shop for a bit to give the place a little make-over. I don't know what's wrong with the place now but whatever.
After the soccer game was over we came home and I bribed the kids into cleaning the house. I used the angle of promising a secret fun activity later that day if they all helped in getting the house in order. It worked like a charm! The house got straightened up and we headed to Jackson for The Apple Festival! We made a stop to visit my Grandma. It was a bittersweet visit. You see my Grandma is now living in an assisted living facility instead of her house. It was sad not to actually be going to visit her at her own home. I think she is a bit sad about it too but at this point, assisted living is a much better place for her. After visiting with her, we went and visited some other family and went to the the festival.
The kids had a great time at the Apple Festival. We started off our time there eating a bunch of fair food and then moved onto riding some of the rides. I spent entirely too much money there but the kids had a great time and that's what matters.
When we were finished eating and riding rides, we went over to my cousin Mindy's where they were having a pig roast. I would have loved to eat some of that meat but I had over indulged on all the fair food. What a bummer that was! Another bummer was I had all the kids with me. I could have had one heck of a time hanging out and having fun with my cousins! Dont' get me wrong, I had a great time with them but the distraction of trying to keep track of my children was too much responsibility for me! May be I will get an opportunity to hang out with them child free sometime in the future. Anyway, I suddenly discovered that it was after midnight and I had a long drive ahead of me. I loaded up the kids and when we finally got home, it was 2:30am. I set my alarm for 10:00am and went to bed.
Sunday morning I woke up a little after 11:00am, Yes, my alarm was set for 10:00am!!!! Apparently my alarm clock was turned off by an equally exhausted husband. Thanks honey, I really appreciate the extra Zzzz's but we do have plans to be somewhere at noon! Not only were we supposed to be somewhere at noon, the place we were going was a good 45 minutes away from where we live and we needed to drop the two little ones off at their grandparents' house. Best laid plans......
When I woke up, I was in panic mode - which in my opinion is a horrible way to wake up! I immediately sent out texts to my brother and Michelle to inform them that we were running late (as if this would be some sort of surprise to them). It took what seemed like forever for them to respond so I took the extra time to jump in the shower and get everybody moving. Finally my brother, Kevin, called me back but I was in the shower and no one bothered to interrupt me. I called him back and no answer......after awhile he called back. He then proceeds to tell me that he didn't think that we were planning on going canoeing and that he and Michelle were just hanging out leisurely in his garage. WHAT? I could have still be snoozing away! Okay, well we are up, have a babysitter arranged for the little ones, let's go! We decided to meet at Trapper John's around 1:30.
Scott and I got to his Dad's at 1:30pm, hahaha, we seriously have a problem people! However, it was okay that we were still running late because Tammy and her husband, Randy, had decided to go and Kevin and Michelle were waiting to meet them. Around 2:00pm, we were headed toward the canoe livery when we got another text that said Trapper John's couldn't accommodate our canoeing venture because the water was too low and suggested we go to some other place. I think it was called Scioto Canoe. Finally we come to the place they redirected us to and got all the paperwork signed, got our canoes and kayaks and waited. Then we waited and waited some more until finally the guy shows up with this rickety van to transport us to the drop off sight. I am not kidding when I say rickety! The top of this van actually lifted when we hit a bump in the road. Then at last we get to the drop off sight!
The van came to a stop, the driver jumps out and begins unloaded the water crafts onto the ground. While the driver was doing this, I noticed the way down to the water is a steep downhill path. The path did have some makeshift steps which turned out to be helpful. Everyone grabbed their prospective ride and started down the death trap. It was at this point I wished I would have selected a kayak! Scott took off with one canoe and I, of course, was the last one to head down. I guess I was secretly hoping that someone intended to come back up and help but it became evident that I was on my own. I grabbed the front of the canoe and started pulling it down. Slow and steady wins the race, right? I managed to get down the hill without falling to my death.
Before I knew it, we were all on the water paddling away. Kevin, Josh and Michelle were all in kayaks. Tammy and Randy were in one canoe, Scott and I in another and Emma and Abigail in the third. The fighting began before Emma and Abigail were even in the water and continued the entire four miles of the trip. Scott and I were paddling along laughing about Emma and Abigail's excellent teamwork and the fact that we just kept paddling while leaving them behind with other people. We are not stupid! Overall, the trip was pretty relaxing but there were definitely some funny moments.
First of all, we rounded a corner not long after we started of our trip and Michelle somehow managed to tip completely over in her kayak. I know it sucked to get wet because it was a bit chilly out yesterday. Secondly, Tammy was sitting in the front of their canoe, enjoying the scenery while Randy did all the work (this is not an understatement and you will see this in a moment). All of the sudden, Tammy looks down and realizes that her paddle is gone! Where could it have gone? She exclaimed, "I dont' even know how long it's been gone!". I am sure you don't Tammy since you have just been sitting there in the front of the canoe hanging out. Abigail said she saw it but they weren't going back for it. I know this comes as a shock to all of you but the truth is she was too busy telling her sister what to do to be bothered with retrieving her Aunt's paddle. Tammy and Randy (okay RANDY) turned around to go find the paddle and the rest of us paddled ahead to the bank.
We hung out on this little bank for quite a few minutes, skipping rocks, climbing on dead trees and looking at clam shells that were laying around. After awhile we all began loading back up and out to the water. Scott spent a few minutes helping Emma and Abigail get their canoe back out into the water and once they were moving, we began to move ours. Only it didn't go nearly as smoothly as I would have hoped. Scott was in the back holding it while I moved to the front of the canoe. Then it happened, the inevitable, I slipped and my left side went down into the water! All I heard was one of my girls yelling, "MOM'S DOWN! My MOM'S DOWN!" The rest of the trip was quite chilly for me and this is how I know that Michelle had to of been freezing for the majority of the trip.
Eventually we made it back to the livery, parked our canoes and everyone went their separate ways. Scott and I went to meet his Dad for dinner and to pick up our little ones. It was a fun weekend but it left me completely exhausted.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Thursday, September 23, 2010
My Theory on How School Came to Be!
I would like to start this blog out by protesting any school cancellations this year! Let's be honest, school isn't really about the three "R's"! Oh hello kitty no! It is about Mom's and sometimes Dad's getting a break from their children. Parents are perfectly capable of teaching their children at home; Hence, home schooling. But the sad truth is, parents pay their taxes for a reason!
Here is my theory about how school came to be:
Once upon a time there was a couple named Charles and Caroline Ingalls. They were married and settled in a little house on the praire. The little house took a lot of work, there was always something to do. The fields had to be farmed and of course, there were the animals that needed to be looked after. Charles was always busy with his job at the mill and taking care of the farm. Caroline became lonely and thought it would be a great idea to start on their family.
Soon they had three daughters; Mary, Laura and little Carrie. Caroline hadn't realized that she was only causing more work for herself having these children. Originally, she thought that they would just keep her entertained and they did at first. However, this quickly grew tiring. She quickly realized she had made more work for herself! She had to make all of their clothing, feed them, clean up after them and all the things children require of their mother. Lest we not forget Charles was constantly dragging in wood chips from the mill as well as dirt from the fields! There just wasn't enough time in the day to get everything done. There just wasnt enough to keep these children occupied in Kansas. There were no televisions, video games, ipods or any other electronics to occupy the children then. After a few years of being overworked, she came up with a brilliant idea - School!
Caroline decided that her first step in seeing this come to fruition was to get all the other Mom's together and device a plan. Here is what they came up with:
1) Convince their husbands that if they weren't encumbered with children all day, they would be able to provide them with more attention at lunchtime. *wink wink*
2) A place for the children to go all day. Hmmmm, where could they send all the children of Walnut Grove during the day??? The church! They approached Rev. Alden and laid out their idea for an extension of Sunday school. He thought this would be a great way to reach the children and keep God at the fore front of their minds.
3) Find a teacher. They knew they would need an unsuspecting, fruitless woman who would love the idea of spending her days with children she could only dream of. Luckily, they found, Miss Beadle.
Mission Complete! The plan worked so well, Charles and Caroline later went on to adopt more children. Laura met her husband, Almanzo, thanks to her teacher, Mrs Wilder. It worked out fantasically and the bottom line is the Mother's of Walnut Grove lived happily ever after! We can all thank them for their tireless efforts.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Here is my theory about how school came to be:
Once upon a time there was a couple named Charles and Caroline Ingalls. They were married and settled in a little house on the praire. The little house took a lot of work, there was always something to do. The fields had to be farmed and of course, there were the animals that needed to be looked after. Charles was always busy with his job at the mill and taking care of the farm. Caroline became lonely and thought it would be a great idea to start on their family.
Soon they had three daughters; Mary, Laura and little Carrie. Caroline hadn't realized that she was only causing more work for herself having these children. Originally, she thought that they would just keep her entertained and they did at first. However, this quickly grew tiring. She quickly realized she had made more work for herself! She had to make all of their clothing, feed them, clean up after them and all the things children require of their mother. Lest we not forget Charles was constantly dragging in wood chips from the mill as well as dirt from the fields! There just wasn't enough time in the day to get everything done. There just wasnt enough to keep these children occupied in Kansas. There were no televisions, video games, ipods or any other electronics to occupy the children then. After a few years of being overworked, she came up with a brilliant idea - School!
Caroline decided that her first step in seeing this come to fruition was to get all the other Mom's together and device a plan. Here is what they came up with:
1) Convince their husbands that if they weren't encumbered with children all day, they would be able to provide them with more attention at lunchtime. *wink wink*
2) A place for the children to go all day. Hmmmm, where could they send all the children of Walnut Grove during the day??? The church! They approached Rev. Alden and laid out their idea for an extension of Sunday school. He thought this would be a great way to reach the children and keep God at the fore front of their minds.
3) Find a teacher. They knew they would need an unsuspecting, fruitless woman who would love the idea of spending her days with children she could only dream of. Luckily, they found, Miss Beadle.
Mission Complete! The plan worked so well, Charles and Caroline later went on to adopt more children. Laura met her husband, Almanzo, thanks to her teacher, Mrs Wilder. It worked out fantasically and the bottom line is the Mother's of Walnut Grove lived happily ever after! We can all thank them for their tireless efforts.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)