To all my beloved followers,
I must apologize for my lack of blogging over the past couple, or perhaps few, months. Life has been insanely crazy and most days I'm not sure if I'm coming or going. Lest we not forget the title of my blog, "The Insanity Chronicles" and friends, I am the Queen!
Let's try to get you up to speed with the insanity around here, shall we? As far as I can tell my last blog was in October, WOW! I do suck and have let my court down! I am very sorry and I hope that you can find it in your blessed little hearts to forgive me (I HATE a grudge holder - please don't make me hate you). I feel pretty confident this blog will be more like a novel so you better just grab a drink and get cozy!
October: Came and went, the kids went trick or treating. Abigail played the role of Dorothy, Emma was a Zombie, Olivia and Sarah were both witches. Boy do I miss the days of sweet little Disney Princess costumes! In some ways I am glad to see them go. Why? Well if you think about it, I mean really think about it, Snow White, Cinderella, Aurora and the likes all start off as broken, if you will, meet Mr Perfect, fall in love and ride off into the sunset. Is this reality??? Hell no! I don't want my daughters buying into this fantasy. It's a set-up for a life of misery. Jaded? Why thank you, yes I am!
November: In case you were unaware, there was a presidential election. I, of course, was glad to see it come to an end despite the fact it put cold hard cash into our checking account. It never ceases to amaze me how passionate people become over politics. Seriously, I am not willing to lose friendships and family members because I don't share like opinions. In my humble ole opinion, each elected official brings their own screwed up agenda to office - It's four years, eight max and then some other idiot moves in with their version of what "We The People" need.
My bestie was the first to hit a numerical birthday that we all dread for the same reason - it's a milestone birthday. However, I think she wore it well, alone, for the month and a half it took me to catch up. On a positive note, it also marks thirty years of friendship for us and how many people can say that these days? No gift required!
November also brings the death of harmless turkeys all over, we cheerfully call it, Thanksgiving. Thank you little turkeys for your yummy light and dark meat smothered in dressing and gravy. YUM! All kidding aside, I am not particularly fond of this holiday for various reasons. Do you really care what my various reasons are? Bottom line, I'm going to tell you so deal with it! I haven't been around for awhile, I have a lot to say.
1. Not a huge fan of turkey
*Did the pilgrims not have access to a cow? Why not fillet mignon?
2. I despise pumpkin pie.
3. Black Friday
*This signifies assholes coming out of every nook and cranny to spread holiday cheer!
4. Christmas wish lists
*Because money just falls like manna from the sky????
5. I work in retail
*No comment needed*
December: A lot of things happened in this month of my birth - A queen was born! End of story, right? HA!
For starters, I began to see a therapist at the urging of my family physician. Why? Let me count thy reasons........For several years now I have been on medication for anxiety. Anxious? Me? Doubtful! Anxiety medication never has had the desired effect - I never felt a true relief from what my doctor felt sure was ailing me. I had told her and told her I didn't think I was anxious. No, I felt pretty sure it was something else, something one of my children had been diagnosed with - Attention Deficit Disorder. Shut the front door! She had refused to treat me for it without my seeking the educated opinion of a licensed shrink. I had delayed this for at least a year because the last thing I want to do in my 42.7 seconds of free time is sit down on a couch and spill my guts about how disorganized and scatterbrained I am. What I finally decided was this, my family has suffered me long enough. You may be thinking, "Dear Queen, we all feel like this sometimes....scatterbrained, disorganized and a little bit lost!" I assure you, my level of chaos is like a constant hurricane.
It took two appointments for her to determine without a doubt, I was certifiably suffering from A.D.D. At the first appointment we just talked about why I was there and family history. She gave me a 128 question test to fill out at my own pace over two weeks. The questions were yes or no and she assured me it was "OKAY" to just do a few at a time. I thought, "Easy, piece of cake, this will be a ten minute test, worse case scenario - fifteen minutes. Are you sitting down? I finished the test the morning I was supposed to be turning it in. Not because it was hard or it required a lot of thought or effort - it took me two weeks because I have it - I have the A.D.D.!!!! Truth be told, the questions had me in stitches. I would tell you some of them but I don't have a copy of it anymore. Just know that what you find annoying in some people, they find hilarious about themselves simply because it is so ridiculous. As if some Christmas miracle had occurred my doctor prescribed me Adderal on Christmas Eve.
You might assume the above mentioned was the end of December, you would be mistaken. There is more, always more where I am concerned. We took on three new residents at our abode. It's the Insanity people, I can't control it! May be it's the A.D.D. no one can say for sure!
The first new resident is Woody. He is the sweetest, cutest boxer ever! I am pretty sure I failed to mention before my sweet little Lilly passed away unexpectedly in late November. This left a huge hole in my heart. She was my little companion. If you don't have a dog or even if you do - you totally take for granted your love for them! I may call my dogs, especially Mabel, every name in the book but I love them all dearly. Back to Woody now, he was abandoned at the old dog pound in Columbus by a spiteful man. I am grateful though because had this man had a heart, I wouldn't have Woody now. He has been a great addition to our family and like Lilly - he loves me the best!
The other two residents are humans - we are an equal opportunity facility after all! They came to live with us after my friend decided there were irreconcilable differences in her marriage. It happens! Those damn Disney Princesses strike again....happily ever after is for the naive. Don't jump me about this - I am completely entitled to have an opinion. Sometimes things just don't work out and it takes bravery to admit it's time to make your own happily ever after! You may also be thinking, "Girl, you have lost your mind!" but the joke is on you, I lost mine a long long long time ago!
The truth is, it hasn't been a hard transition. I entirely understand the whole "sister-wife" theory! It's fantastic having another "Mom" in the house. In the words of the Wonder Pets, "What's gonna work? Team WORK!" I have an extra set of hands around here to help clean, fold laundry, do dishes, chauffeur the kids and a whole list of other perks. We don't share the King of the house - just in case you were wondering! All in all, I think everyone here is happy with all the new residents.
January Oh January: The King of our homestead made some big changes. He took a promotion (which to me doesn't seem like a promotion at all) at work. This required a decision in two hours. They called and offered him a position as a Corporal in the jail. Much to my surprise, he accepted it and was promoted the very next day! I went with him to the ceremony, along with several other K9 officers. We stood in the back whispering amongst ourselves about this so-called promotion until it was time for him to get his new stripes. I was honored to move to the front of the room and place these new stripes on his uniform along with his new badge. Let me clarify my discord about this promotion to Corporal.
First of all, we have to give up Mira. Despite the fact she ate an entire sectional couch to show her dissatisfaction with our choice to leave her alone, we kind of love her. She probably has a couple more weeks here with us, not sure about the time frame but it will be a sad day when we have to say goodbye to her.
Secondly, the take home cruiser had to be turned in to the department. Goodbye free ride to work - Hello gas station!
Lastly, different work hours for the mister. He is now a first shift worker. Yup, 7am to 3pm. My first inclination was to dread the idea he would be home EVERY night. No more control of the remote control, no more free time alone in the evenings and a whole list of negatives. Before you judge me, let me further explain alright? We have been married almost 20 years and in those 20 years he has only ever worked 1st shift during training periods at work. The kids and I are not accustomed to him being "around". This was going to throw a huge wrench in our existence! As it turns out, I hate this new shift for an entirely different reason. I NEVER see him now. Who'd a thunk it? Not me! Between the kids activities and my working part-time, we just don't really get to spend time together anymore. It has become apparent to me I was irritated for all the wrong reasons. It's true, hindsight is 20/20.
Other than all of the above mentioned, we are busy as ever running to dance, gymnastics and me working but we're plugging away at this thing called life and I wouldn't change it if I could. I am just sorry that you all have to suffer without my regular blogging. I do the best I can.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
