It's okay, you can say it, I have been a big fat loser on keeping up with my blog this week! I could make a million excuses for why I haven't been keeping up this week but you wouldn't believe me anyway.....
I left off on Monday and I guess I will try and recap what has been going on since then. Tuesday I got up early to get Bella in and then went back to bed as I do every Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday. When I got up my little ones were all ready manipulating the television. Honestly, I am just not even sure why I pay for cable other than to keep the children and my husband entertained and out of my hair. It's not like I get any enjoyment from it. I can't even tell you when I had the time or enough quiet to plop my astronaut on the couch and watch even one show in it's entirety without interuption. It just isn't happening for for me for at least another 15 years. By then I am sure I will be married to the Captain without a clue as to how to work a television.
Tuesday, Tuesday, I loaded the kids up to go to Bed, Bath and Beyond to get a new pillow for Scott. He claimed his pillow was too flat. Natalie and her kids ended up coming along for the ride. What a ride it was! There is nothing like a car ride with five kids all five and under! I am not sure why the car industry has not tried to market a vehichle geared towards parents. By this I am refering to a great feature you will find in any limo out there - a dividing window! HELLO TOYOTA? You market your minivan as the "swagger wagon" to try and trick parents into thinking its cool to drive a minivan. I'm hear to tell you it's never cool to drive a minivan! Now, I give them credit for having some hysterical advertising ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ql-N3F1FhW4 ) but come on!! What we parents want is silence. I say market a vehicle that has a dividing window, velcro straps to make sure they can't escape the seatbelts, a device that can hold duct tape if you need to tape their mouths shut if the diving window feature were to fail and some kind of contraption that would automatically clean up their messes on the floor. This is what parents want!!!!! Can I get an AMEN???????
I get Scott's new pillow and gave it to him when he got home from K9 training. He was excited about his new pillow as he should be because it wasn't cheap. We are a bit spoiled int he pillow department here. I can't have just any pillow, I have to have a Sealy Indulgence side sleeper pillow. I only buy them when I have a coupon but I think if I was desperate I would pay full price. As it turned out, my coupon was expired but luckily Natalie had one. So Scott slept on his pillow that night and I asked him how it was the next morning. His response, "It was too fluffy. It needs broke in!" Nice. lol
Wednesday I took Olivia school clothes shopping. She is so much easier to shop with than the older girls. We got her a couple new dreses because the 47 dresses she all ready has hanging in her closet are apparently not enough to start school with. She also got a new pair of dress shoes. Nothing much else to report on Wednesday.
Thursday was a little more interesting. I was hoping to get to sleep in but that didn't work out since for some reason I woke right up all by myself at 9am. I guess that's kinda sleeping in but when I think of sleeping in, I think 11 or 12 but whatever. I finally got a little bit of energy and got the house straightened up. I am not sure why I even bother though because my kids are like tornados and just ruin all of hard with their toys and such.
The girls' and I had hair appointments at 3 o'clock so we headed over to the hair place around 2:30pm. I am not really sure what I was thinking but I decided to go blonde at this visit. In my mind I was thinking it would be a medium blonde but it ended up being almost white blonde. I am not necessarily hating it but it is a shock to me. I am now going to have to wear make-up to balance it out. I am not against make-up, I just don't have the time or energy to put it on everyday. My only other choice is to nix the make-up idea and stay inside and I don't forsee that happening. Natalie went along too. She got a beachwave perm. Her hair looks great! They use these square rollers for the perming process. I took a picture but Natalie said I can't post it...hmmmpf! What's the fun in that? But out of respect, I'm not going to do it.
After the hair shocking appointment we went to JcPenny's to get a new mattress pad and sheet set for Olivia's bed. Olivia peed the bed and even though I washed the stuff in hot water over and over again, I couldn't get the stain or the smell out of them. TRASH!
Then we went to Cracker Barrell to eat dinner. Let me just tell you this if the world had come to an end right then and there and the only people left were those of us in that resteraunt, the world would never have been repopulated! Not by me or Natalie anyway. I have never in my life seen so many ugly people in one place before, ever! I will refrain from describing them because it would just be plain mean. All you need to know is that they were all scarey ugly and something like a scene from Deliverance. Of course Deliverance seems to be a theme for us when we go places together.
Michelle, Natalie and I went out for a couple of drinks last night in an effort to release some frustrations. It worked well enough but we are going to try again tonight. My cousin's band is playing so it should be a good time. Tomorrow the girls' come home from camp and things should liven back up around here....All hail the slaves! (At least this is what they claim they are to me!)
Sincerely,
The big fat loser who truly is the Queen of Insanity
Friday, July 30, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
Man am I behind......
The last time I actually blogged was Friday...things have been a little bit crazy around here and I am also fighting a summer cold. BOO!!!!
My Grandma is really ill. She has a lot of trouble with her blood pressure and has congestive heart failure to boot. She was in the hospital much of last week and on Friday they moved her to a rehablitation center to help her recover. The truth is she is 90 years old and she probably doesn't have much time on this earth left. I felt like I really needed to go see her, so Saturday my sister, Olivia and I went down to Southern Ohio to visit.
I decided to leave three of the girls at home because I thought my four children in one nursing home was four too many. Olivia was chosen to go because she is a little too much for the older two to handle lately. So three left at home with their sleeping father and one on the road with me. Olivia wasn't really happy about going because she just wanted to stay at home and watch tv. Her act of rebellion was to give us and everyone that we encountered the silent treatment. As you can imagine, it was very sad for me that she choose to be quiet all day!
We went to visit Grandma but it took us forever to find her in that place because neither of us thought to ask someone what room she was in before we left. We finally find her, Olivia didn't want to go in her room but decided to dance and twirl in the hallway. Whatever! Grandma was glad to see us and she was "ok" for the time being.
Now here's the thing, at first I thought my Grandma had a decent room. It was pretty quiet at first but then when I went into the hall to check on dance and twirl, I discovered her room was right next to the entrance to the "secure area" of the nursing home. There was this one lady in a wheel chair that kept trying to escape. I never really saw what exactly she was doing to make the alarm go off over and over and over again but whatever it was apparently was working. They would wheel her back to the other end of the hallway and before you knew it, she was back at the door again. It will be a wonder if our Grandma gets any rest in that place.
After we left there we went and visited two of our aunts. Aunt Janet's and then to Aunt Barbara's. Funny thing, we walk into Aunt Barbara's house and Olivia immediately starts talking. I don't know what brought it on but from then on she was chatty Cathy. We left there and began our trek home. We were both feeling a bit tired so we stopped at the gas station across the street for a Monster coffee to boost the energy levels. Low and behold I came across Mad Dog 20/20. Quite honestly I didn't even know they still made that stuff! They had every variety you can imagine. I took a picture to send to a couple of my friends. My sister and I also surveyed the area for a new man because let me tell you, if you want a man who drives a pick-up, is missing half his teeth, wears overall and a wife beater shirt, this was the place to find him! We didn't find any that we couldn't live with out so we just hit the road.
On Sunday I had to take the twins and drop them off at church camp. My girlfriend's girls were going to so we had a good ride over there. We got to listen, while they watched New Moon. I have to tell you, listening to that movie is a lot different than watching it. I really think it's kinda stupid now. We got there and got them settled and like any self respecting women we hit the outlet mall on the way back. I found a great pair of shoes but I passed them up - what was I thinking? I am a shoe whore and I passed up a pair of awesome shoes!!!!! They were sorta ugly really but very comfortable. Actually I think they were so ugly that they were cute! When I got home Scott and I went to Walmart for school supplies for the girls and then to dinner. On the way home Olivia were making up songs about ghosts, vampires and aliens. Really? Very strange in my book. I am guessing they get this stuff from their older siblings.
Today Scott and I took the two little ones to the zoo along with our nephew. We had a good time looking at the animals. Wearing the kids out so they would all go to bed early was really the plan. I need to keep these little ones occupied this week since according to Emma and Abigail the only reason I am going to miss them is because they are my slaves! Nice girls! Actually I just need to get all these kids back on schedule before school starts.....I can't see my ticker right now or I would tell you exactly how many days that is.
Anyway, sorry that I took a leave of absence there..life just got very busy this weekend. I will try and do better.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
My Grandma is really ill. She has a lot of trouble with her blood pressure and has congestive heart failure to boot. She was in the hospital much of last week and on Friday they moved her to a rehablitation center to help her recover. The truth is she is 90 years old and she probably doesn't have much time on this earth left. I felt like I really needed to go see her, so Saturday my sister, Olivia and I went down to Southern Ohio to visit.
I decided to leave three of the girls at home because I thought my four children in one nursing home was four too many. Olivia was chosen to go because she is a little too much for the older two to handle lately. So three left at home with their sleeping father and one on the road with me. Olivia wasn't really happy about going because she just wanted to stay at home and watch tv. Her act of rebellion was to give us and everyone that we encountered the silent treatment. As you can imagine, it was very sad for me that she choose to be quiet all day!
We went to visit Grandma but it took us forever to find her in that place because neither of us thought to ask someone what room she was in before we left. We finally find her, Olivia didn't want to go in her room but decided to dance and twirl in the hallway. Whatever! Grandma was glad to see us and she was "ok" for the time being.
Now here's the thing, at first I thought my Grandma had a decent room. It was pretty quiet at first but then when I went into the hall to check on dance and twirl, I discovered her room was right next to the entrance to the "secure area" of the nursing home. There was this one lady in a wheel chair that kept trying to escape. I never really saw what exactly she was doing to make the alarm go off over and over and over again but whatever it was apparently was working. They would wheel her back to the other end of the hallway and before you knew it, she was back at the door again. It will be a wonder if our Grandma gets any rest in that place.
After we left there we went and visited two of our aunts. Aunt Janet's and then to Aunt Barbara's. Funny thing, we walk into Aunt Barbara's house and Olivia immediately starts talking. I don't know what brought it on but from then on she was chatty Cathy. We left there and began our trek home. We were both feeling a bit tired so we stopped at the gas station across the street for a Monster coffee to boost the energy levels. Low and behold I came across Mad Dog 20/20. Quite honestly I didn't even know they still made that stuff! They had every variety you can imagine. I took a picture to send to a couple of my friends. My sister and I also surveyed the area for a new man because let me tell you, if you want a man who drives a pick-up, is missing half his teeth, wears overall and a wife beater shirt, this was the place to find him! We didn't find any that we couldn't live with out so we just hit the road.
On Sunday I had to take the twins and drop them off at church camp. My girlfriend's girls were going to so we had a good ride over there. We got to listen, while they watched New Moon. I have to tell you, listening to that movie is a lot different than watching it. I really think it's kinda stupid now. We got there and got them settled and like any self respecting women we hit the outlet mall on the way back. I found a great pair of shoes but I passed them up - what was I thinking? I am a shoe whore and I passed up a pair of awesome shoes!!!!! They were sorta ugly really but very comfortable. Actually I think they were so ugly that they were cute! When I got home Scott and I went to Walmart for school supplies for the girls and then to dinner. On the way home Olivia were making up songs about ghosts, vampires and aliens. Really? Very strange in my book. I am guessing they get this stuff from their older siblings.
Today Scott and I took the two little ones to the zoo along with our nephew. We had a good time looking at the animals. Wearing the kids out so they would all go to bed early was really the plan. I need to keep these little ones occupied this week since according to Emma and Abigail the only reason I am going to miss them is because they are my slaves! Nice girls! Actually I just need to get all these kids back on schedule before school starts.....I can't see my ticker right now or I would tell you exactly how many days that is.
Anyway, sorry that I took a leave of absence there..life just got very busy this weekend. I will try and do better.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Yes, I'm a loser...Sorry
Very sorry for not posting for the past couple of days....Been running around like a chicken with it's head cut off this weekend. I am sick to boot with an icky cold. I will get all caught up tomorrow!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Friday, July 23, 2010
I Found The Money Tree
It turns out the money tree extended a branch to my checking account today - courtesy of the federal government. You see I am not lying when I say I am broke, you trying raising four girls and having any money. I am sorry to say, it just doesn't happen people!
I got onto my online banking to try and figure out where in the hello kitty I had misplaced $35.00. I look at my balance and notice that it is a lot more than I had written down in my checkbook. I notice it says in the memo area "FED GOVT". I am thinking to myself, "Why are the feds putting money into my account and how did they get my account number!?!" I call the bank and ask them if they can tell me more about this deposit and they tell me it was deposited by the FED GOVT - but the best part was she spelled it out for me, G.....O.....V.....T.... WOW! You are a rocket scientists! That is exactly what the online page says, thanks for your help. They then asked if there was anything else they could assist me with. I replied, "Yeah, don't take that money out of my account!"
In the meantime, I am telling Emma to get her stuff together for a birthday sleep over she was going to. I go to put Torros (scott's k9 work companion) in his room before I leave and discover that he had thrown up all over said room. Seriously Emma? You didn't notice this when you let him out earlier? The child is terminally lazy! I was not about to clean it up. Cleaning up dog vomit is just not in my list of household responsibilities. I put him back outside and drove over to our land to talk to Torros' father about this latest discovery. We get to the land and I tell Scott about the dog barf and he got all irritated that I didn't clean it up. Seriously? Has this man just moved in with me or what? I don't deal with our children's vomit let alone his dogs. After he got over me being a horrible dog Mom I asked him about the money. I really didn't want to tell him how much it was, why? I don't know - may be I wanted to buy some new shoes instead of paying bills - don't judge me! Of course, once I said there was some money deposited in our account from the FED GOVT (I didn't bother spelling it out for him) the very first words out of his mouth were, "How much?" It's none of your business mister! No, I begrudgingly told him the amount and he said it was a stop-loss payment from the Army. Case solved - The money is ours! WOOT WOOT! However, he all the sudden starts dreaming about what HE is going to spend this pot of gold on. The worst part is he said it out loud! Wood chipper, chain saw....Really? I think not. I hate to sound crass but we are broke and I am thinking bills, bills, beach trip in September with the girls. Just to be specific not "my" girls as in children but my sister, niece and girlfriends are going for a Labor Day beach trip and I have no money set aside. I gently informed him that he must be smoking crack if he thinks he's buying a wood chipper. A WOOD CHIPPER? It's beyond me! In the end, it was decided (by me) that I would get $300 for the beach, he would get $300 for whatever he wanted and the rest was going to bills. A wood chipper...I just can't get past it.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
I got onto my online banking to try and figure out where in the hello kitty I had misplaced $35.00. I look at my balance and notice that it is a lot more than I had written down in my checkbook. I notice it says in the memo area "FED GOVT". I am thinking to myself, "Why are the feds putting money into my account and how did they get my account number!?!" I call the bank and ask them if they can tell me more about this deposit and they tell me it was deposited by the FED GOVT - but the best part was she spelled it out for me, G.....O.....V.....T.... WOW! You are a rocket scientists! That is exactly what the online page says, thanks for your help. They then asked if there was anything else they could assist me with. I replied, "Yeah, don't take that money out of my account!"
In the meantime, I am telling Emma to get her stuff together for a birthday sleep over she was going to. I go to put Torros (scott's k9 work companion) in his room before I leave and discover that he had thrown up all over said room. Seriously Emma? You didn't notice this when you let him out earlier? The child is terminally lazy! I was not about to clean it up. Cleaning up dog vomit is just not in my list of household responsibilities. I put him back outside and drove over to our land to talk to Torros' father about this latest discovery. We get to the land and I tell Scott about the dog barf and he got all irritated that I didn't clean it up. Seriously? Has this man just moved in with me or what? I don't deal with our children's vomit let alone his dogs. After he got over me being a horrible dog Mom I asked him about the money. I really didn't want to tell him how much it was, why? I don't know - may be I wanted to buy some new shoes instead of paying bills - don't judge me! Of course, once I said there was some money deposited in our account from the FED GOVT (I didn't bother spelling it out for him) the very first words out of his mouth were, "How much?" It's none of your business mister! No, I begrudgingly told him the amount and he said it was a stop-loss payment from the Army. Case solved - The money is ours! WOOT WOOT! However, he all the sudden starts dreaming about what HE is going to spend this pot of gold on. The worst part is he said it out loud! Wood chipper, chain saw....Really? I think not. I hate to sound crass but we are broke and I am thinking bills, bills, beach trip in September with the girls. Just to be specific not "my" girls as in children but my sister, niece and girlfriends are going for a Labor Day beach trip and I have no money set aside. I gently informed him that he must be smoking crack if he thinks he's buying a wood chipper. A WOOD CHIPPER? It's beyond me! In the end, it was decided (by me) that I would get $300 for the beach, he would get $300 for whatever he wanted and the rest was going to bills. A wood chipper...I just can't get past it.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
It's Hot.....
It's extremely hot out today. I can't even deny that I am melting everytime I walk outside. I tried to work in the yard but worked up such a sweat. I decided it would be better to come inside and blab on here about absolutely nothing!
I do have an update about the rental property issue. Scott went over with our insurance information and she had a change in tune. She decided that she just wanted him to cut the stupid tree down. So I guess that's good news since he seems to think that he can do it with the help of his Dad. The upside of this is that I will have more wood for my firepit! Actually the arrowhead is quite lonely out there in the yard lately....just sitting there getting the bricks knocked out of it.
Here's the thing about the arrowhead, this is what we loving call the firepit. You see I decided to build a firepit last spring. I had told my friend Michelle and she thoughtfully told my brother about my crazy plan. He came over and helped me build it, in the dark. It turned out perfectully but it is in the shape of a triangle, hence the arrowhead. There have been lots of good times around the arrowhead. When I, my friends and/or family are bored or too broke to go out and drink in public establishments we like to sit around the fire. I am thinking tonight since it's so hot I might just stick the little girls' beachball sprinkler in it. I could even take my lounge chair down there and just enjoy. May be pretend like it's mist from an exotic beach or something. I am thinking if my neighbor's don't all ready think I am crazy they would after that sort of display.
On another note, does anyone know where I can get a money tree? I have been looking high and low for one to no avail. I am flat broke this week. I don't know where all the money has gone because I have been trying my darndest (it's not a word, I know!) to use cash. Cash goes so fast. Where does it go? I mean theres the Smoothie Brew coffee addiction, there's the smoking addiction, the car needs gas, the kids need, need, need. I just don't know. I just know that I need a money tree and apparently they are extremely hard to come by. Hmmmmpf
Done with random whining and babble....
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
I do have an update about the rental property issue. Scott went over with our insurance information and she had a change in tune. She decided that she just wanted him to cut the stupid tree down. So I guess that's good news since he seems to think that he can do it with the help of his Dad. The upside of this is that I will have more wood for my firepit! Actually the arrowhead is quite lonely out there in the yard lately....just sitting there getting the bricks knocked out of it.
Here's the thing about the arrowhead, this is what we loving call the firepit. You see I decided to build a firepit last spring. I had told my friend Michelle and she thoughtfully told my brother about my crazy plan. He came over and helped me build it, in the dark. It turned out perfectully but it is in the shape of a triangle, hence the arrowhead. There have been lots of good times around the arrowhead. When I, my friends and/or family are bored or too broke to go out and drink in public establishments we like to sit around the fire. I am thinking tonight since it's so hot I might just stick the little girls' beachball sprinkler in it. I could even take my lounge chair down there and just enjoy. May be pretend like it's mist from an exotic beach or something. I am thinking if my neighbor's don't all ready think I am crazy they would after that sort of display.
On another note, does anyone know where I can get a money tree? I have been looking high and low for one to no avail. I am flat broke this week. I don't know where all the money has gone because I have been trying my darndest (it's not a word, I know!) to use cash. Cash goes so fast. Where does it go? I mean theres the Smoothie Brew coffee addiction, there's the smoking addiction, the car needs gas, the kids need, need, need. I just don't know. I just know that I need a money tree and apparently they are extremely hard to come by. Hmmmmpf
Done with random whining and babble....
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Stamps, Rentals and Songs...OH MY!
Last night I was loading up my new dishwasher and happy as a lark to be doing so when Olivia exclaimed, "WHO SPILLED RED JUICE ALL OVER THESE PRETTY STICKERS!". Now my first thought was that they would be some of their sparkly princess stickers but no, they were actually postage stamps. Not a half used pack of stamps but a brand new sheet! So in an effort to save these stamps I hung them up with a clip so they could dry out. If you think I am going to waste $8.80 you are crazy. Speaking of crazy......
We have some rental properties or as I like to call them nightmares. In my opinion they are nothing but a headache. I have lots of stories about my dealings with our rental properties but here is the most current tale. Yesterday my husband's phone rang and I heard him talking but I was busy with Abigail and her clothing dilemna. I couldn't really focus on his conversation and Abigail at the same time so I chose Abigail. A couple hours later while I am shopping for camp clothes my cell phone rings. It is Scott calling to ask me who our insurance for this particular house is. I had no clue but I told him I'd check when I got home and give him a call but hold the bus......WHY? A few years back (I use the word "few" loosely because I know it has been at least that many years) a tree limb from our rental property fell onto the neighbor's roof. Now all of the sudden her roof is leaking and she claims that her insurance won't pay for the roof/leaking or whatever and her insurance company says it's our problem. Ummmmmm, WHAT THE HELLO KITTY??? This house was built in the 60's and I can almost guarantee that the roof has NEVER been replaced. This lady is seriously looking for a payday and she is looking the wrong direction - you can't get blood from a turnip and we are all ready being sued by some psychopath my husband had a run in on the job with. Get in line bitch! Sorry that was totally called for but totally inappropriate in my effort not to cuss on here. Here's the best part though, I had an epiphany this morning! We took pictures of this incident when it happened for this very reason. Now if I can just locate them.....
Today was our pool day with my bfff Michelle and her kids. The kids had a blast swimming and playing in the pool. There were playing some game called "The Charmed One". Apparently this game consisted of one of them being "The Charmed One" and the rest of them were servants. Michelle tried and tried to convince them that we were in fact "The Charmed One". They weren't having it, little brats! Anyway, the pool is a really nice above ground 4ft pool. Sarah absolutely refuses to get in. Week after week we try and and try to get her in this pool to no avail. It's the same ole thing every time, "It tooooo big!" A couple weeks ago I just made her get in the pool with me. You see I am not very sympathetic about these kind of things. I have also never had a child afraid of water. This is a big deal for me - I love water and I seriously can not have a child who doesn't love water too. I got her in the water and she held onto me for dear life. I really thought I was going to pass out from the choke hold she had on me. Well ever since that time not only does she tell us, "It tooooo big!" she promptly throws her pointer finger into position and says really snotty, "AND don't you trooo me in eider!"Shoot Michelle who by all accounts is completely innocent tried to hug her on the deck of the pool and she got the pointer finger thrown at her! Seriously, she has some attitude and I have no flippin idea where she gets it.
We come home from the pool and are getting cleaned up. Sarah and Olivia are in the tub singing away and I am in the shower - listening to them sing. But what are they singing? It sounds to me like Olivia is singing, "Crazy is the Lord" and when she finishes Sarah yells out "Hallelujia"( i hope spell checker fixes that...lol if it does this will make no sense). They are reall belting it out. Now they went to VBS all last week so I was trying to think back to my younger days and figure out what Olivia was really saying...turns out to be "Praise Ye The Lord" after a quick check with Emma and my Mom. I swear that had to have been the funniest thing I heard all day. "Crazy is the Lord!" Nice, Olivia...I hope the Lord takes your speech impediment into consideration when your time on this earth is done!
After that, I went to my friend Jennifer's and from there we went on a pussy willow expedition at her childhood home. Long story short we did not find the pussy willow we were looking for. But we did have a funny walk down memory lane where we grew up. We went to our elementary school and peeked in the windows and don't you know we could actually smell the schoolish smells from the window! We also felt that the new owner's in our old neighborhood could step it up a bit. I mean who in their right mind would put four lighthouses (two on each side of the driveway), a wishing well and a water wheel all out in front of their house? It was a specktical! Jennifer and I decided that the street must have some kind of themed yard ordeal because a few houses down there was a house that had a wagon wheel deal going on.
Now I am home, tired and more than ready for bed...it's 11:30pm, my husband and kids are watching cartoons and I am sitting here wondering why I wasn't in bed two hours ago....
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity (who can't get spell check to work)
We have some rental properties or as I like to call them nightmares. In my opinion they are nothing but a headache. I have lots of stories about my dealings with our rental properties but here is the most current tale. Yesterday my husband's phone rang and I heard him talking but I was busy with Abigail and her clothing dilemna. I couldn't really focus on his conversation and Abigail at the same time so I chose Abigail. A couple hours later while I am shopping for camp clothes my cell phone rings. It is Scott calling to ask me who our insurance for this particular house is. I had no clue but I told him I'd check when I got home and give him a call but hold the bus......WHY? A few years back (I use the word "few" loosely because I know it has been at least that many years) a tree limb from our rental property fell onto the neighbor's roof. Now all of the sudden her roof is leaking and she claims that her insurance won't pay for the roof/leaking or whatever and her insurance company says it's our problem. Ummmmmm, WHAT THE HELLO KITTY??? This house was built in the 60's and I can almost guarantee that the roof has NEVER been replaced. This lady is seriously looking for a payday and she is looking the wrong direction - you can't get blood from a turnip and we are all ready being sued by some psychopath my husband had a run in on the job with. Get in line bitch! Sorry that was totally called for but totally inappropriate in my effort not to cuss on here. Here's the best part though, I had an epiphany this morning! We took pictures of this incident when it happened for this very reason. Now if I can just locate them.....
Today was our pool day with my bfff Michelle and her kids. The kids had a blast swimming and playing in the pool. There were playing some game called "The Charmed One". Apparently this game consisted of one of them being "The Charmed One" and the rest of them were servants. Michelle tried and tried to convince them that we were in fact "The Charmed One". They weren't having it, little brats! Anyway, the pool is a really nice above ground 4ft pool. Sarah absolutely refuses to get in. Week after week we try and and try to get her in this pool to no avail. It's the same ole thing every time, "It tooooo big!" A couple weeks ago I just made her get in the pool with me. You see I am not very sympathetic about these kind of things. I have also never had a child afraid of water. This is a big deal for me - I love water and I seriously can not have a child who doesn't love water too. I got her in the water and she held onto me for dear life. I really thought I was going to pass out from the choke hold she had on me. Well ever since that time not only does she tell us, "It tooooo big!" she promptly throws her pointer finger into position and says really snotty, "AND don't you trooo me in eider!"Shoot Michelle who by all accounts is completely innocent tried to hug her on the deck of the pool and she got the pointer finger thrown at her! Seriously, she has some attitude and I have no flippin idea where she gets it.
We come home from the pool and are getting cleaned up. Sarah and Olivia are in the tub singing away and I am in the shower - listening to them sing. But what are they singing? It sounds to me like Olivia is singing, "Crazy is the Lord" and when she finishes Sarah yells out "Hallelujia"( i hope spell checker fixes that...lol if it does this will make no sense). They are reall belting it out. Now they went to VBS all last week so I was trying to think back to my younger days and figure out what Olivia was really saying...turns out to be "Praise Ye The Lord" after a quick check with Emma and my Mom. I swear that had to have been the funniest thing I heard all day. "Crazy is the Lord!" Nice, Olivia...I hope the Lord takes your speech impediment into consideration when your time on this earth is done!
After that, I went to my friend Jennifer's and from there we went on a pussy willow expedition at her childhood home. Long story short we did not find the pussy willow we were looking for. But we did have a funny walk down memory lane where we grew up. We went to our elementary school and peeked in the windows and don't you know we could actually smell the schoolish smells from the window! We also felt that the new owner's in our old neighborhood could step it up a bit. I mean who in their right mind would put four lighthouses (two on each side of the driveway), a wishing well and a water wheel all out in front of their house? It was a specktical! Jennifer and I decided that the street must have some kind of themed yard ordeal because a few houses down there was a house that had a wagon wheel deal going on.
Now I am home, tired and more than ready for bed...it's 11:30pm, my husband and kids are watching cartoons and I am sitting here wondering why I wasn't in bed two hours ago....
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity (who can't get spell check to work)
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
The Uneventful Day
I left the house and headed to the endodontist's office. The whole way there I was hoping I would get into a minor car accident. Yeah, no such luck, it was smooth sailing the entire way. In the office I went for my torture. Funny thing is, my tooth must have know we were going there because it started hurting earlier today. I got my shots and then let the poking begin. I sat in that flippin' chair for an hour and a half - bored out of my mind. On the bright side, when it was over and the Novocaine wore off I wasn't in that much pain. The good news, I think I am going to be chipmunk cheek free this time. I will let you know tomorrow. After the torture was over and I handed them $278.80 for the fun times I headed back home.
When I walked in the door I immediately noticed that Sarah was sitting on the couch, watching Noggin and wearing nothing but her undies. I could have sworn I dressed her this morning! Olivia was playing with Hailey for the last time since today was Hailey's last day here, Emma was watching tv and texting her friends and Abigail was, yeah I don't know where she was. Scott was fussing with the trimmer that never works and I interrupted him and asked him to get the suitcases down from the attack. The girls' are going to church camp Sunday and need to start getting their stuff packed. The suitcases are down and the girls' get all excited to start packing. When low and behold Abigail comes over to where I am sitting and tells me she only has two pair of shorts she can wear to camp. Just so you know, at church camp all shorts must come down to the knees and they are only allowed to wear one piece swimsuits (this one cracks me up because the don't allow the boys and girls to swim together so whey they have to be completely covered it beyond my comprehension). Like I said, they leave for camp Sunday. You couldn't haven't mentioned you had no long shorts and that your one piece swimsuit had gone missing to me sooner!
After dinner Abigail and I got in the car and headed to Kohls. The anticipation of shopping with her was almost as nerve wracking as driving to my dental appointment. She is the pickiest child and not only that she loves to shop, buy things and never wear them. I kid you not this child has items hanging in her closet from the beginning of last school year that still have tags on them. I decided to use a new tactic in shopping with her because I just really didn't feel like getting mad, yelling and risk getting chipmunk cheeks again. I just followed her around the store and ignored her. I made no suggestions on anything...I just let her shop and of course stay in our budget. It turned out not to be as bad as I had anticipated. Hopefully she will wear these clothes, if not, I have the receipt and I am not afraid to use it!
Home from shopping and not much else going on. Hopefully tomorrow will be more entertaining! Oh and just wanted to let you all know that today is Cat Steven's birthday! Happy Birthday Cat!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
When I walked in the door I immediately noticed that Sarah was sitting on the couch, watching Noggin and wearing nothing but her undies. I could have sworn I dressed her this morning! Olivia was playing with Hailey for the last time since today was Hailey's last day here, Emma was watching tv and texting her friends and Abigail was, yeah I don't know where she was. Scott was fussing with the trimmer that never works and I interrupted him and asked him to get the suitcases down from the attack. The girls' are going to church camp Sunday and need to start getting their stuff packed. The suitcases are down and the girls' get all excited to start packing. When low and behold Abigail comes over to where I am sitting and tells me she only has two pair of shorts she can wear to camp. Just so you know, at church camp all shorts must come down to the knees and they are only allowed to wear one piece swimsuits (this one cracks me up because the don't allow the boys and girls to swim together so whey they have to be completely covered it beyond my comprehension). Like I said, they leave for camp Sunday. You couldn't haven't mentioned you had no long shorts and that your one piece swimsuit had gone missing to me sooner!
After dinner Abigail and I got in the car and headed to Kohls. The anticipation of shopping with her was almost as nerve wracking as driving to my dental appointment. She is the pickiest child and not only that she loves to shop, buy things and never wear them. I kid you not this child has items hanging in her closet from the beginning of last school year that still have tags on them. I decided to use a new tactic in shopping with her because I just really didn't feel like getting mad, yelling and risk getting chipmunk cheeks again. I just followed her around the store and ignored her. I made no suggestions on anything...I just let her shop and of course stay in our budget. It turned out not to be as bad as I had anticipated. Hopefully she will wear these clothes, if not, I have the receipt and I am not afraid to use it!
Home from shopping and not much else going on. Hopefully tomorrow will be more entertaining! Oh and just wanted to let you all know that today is Cat Steven's birthday! Happy Birthday Cat!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Not Feeling So Hot Today
I woke up yesterday to get Bella in and was feeling okay. I was still a little sore from Sunday but better. I couldn't go back to sleep so I decided to take a hot bath in my jet tub. It really helped my sore muscles but I have never quite woke up today. After my bath I went and got a coffee from Smoothie Brews and came back home and worked in my flowerbed a little bit. The kids started waking up one by one as usual.
At about 10:00am I started feeling kinda sick to my stomach and by noon I just felt horrible. I ate some lunch, sent the big girls to babysit their cousins and put the little one down for a nap and laid down myself. I was awakened several times with silly questions. Now here's the thing, while I was asleep the little girls managed to rip open a juice box and spill it all over the floor, take a bunch of "keys" off the twins' computer keyboard and other various things all under their father's supervision. I am not suggesting that things don't happen on my watch because they most often do. For instance, under my watch they have run naked through the yard, completely destroyed their rooms and much worse.
I got up from my nap and felt a smidge better so I decided to steam clean the area of carpet behind my couch. WOW! That was some nasty carpet. I am wondering if Sarah's pink dinosaur comes out of the walls at night and dredges mud behind the couch! Stranger things have happened my friends.
Anyway my day was a bust. I did, however, get caught up on Little People, Big World and some Dr. Phil episodes that had been sitting there for quite some time. I am not a huge fan of Dr Phil but sometimes he has some interesting topics on there. For instance, the one I watched was about this 16 year old (now 18) who met a boy on the Internet. Okay wait he wasn't really a boy, he was 22. Now I kept waiting and waiting for the good doctor to say something to the girl's Mother about the fact that this girl was seeing a man six years older than her but he never did. This guy somehow convinced this girl to quit playing soccer, dye her hair a different color monthly, quit hanging out with her friends and not attend family functions - her Uncle's 80th birthday party. Now while my first impression of this girl is "What the hello kitty is wrong with this girl?" it gets worse. Her boyfriend told her he preferred skinny girls. Now this girls wasn't sickly thin and she was certainly not fat but he convinced her otherwise...she got a box cutter, went to her room and sliced her inner thigh open thinking that she could drain the fat out of herself. Seriously? If I thought this would truly work I would have tried this a long time ago! On more than just my thighs... Now I just think this girl is certifiable. She didn't tell her Mom what she had done for two days, it got infected, turned green and she had to go to the ER. Nice! Oh and she told her Mom she was trying to cut her jeans into shorts. The stupidity runs deep in that family, that's all I'm sayin'. In conclusion, she is now dating a nice boy but still hung up on her behavior with the other guy, as she should be. The best part for me was when she said she has ruined her life - you are 18 girl, you have not lived enough to be making those kind of assumptions!
Well my new dishwasher is here and installed. I am very happy about this since my two dishwashers leave for camp this weekend. Now I am off to the dentist to have my root canal finished. Let's all hope and pray I do not suffer from chipmunk disorder again!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
At about 10:00am I started feeling kinda sick to my stomach and by noon I just felt horrible. I ate some lunch, sent the big girls to babysit their cousins and put the little one down for a nap and laid down myself. I was awakened several times with silly questions. Now here's the thing, while I was asleep the little girls managed to rip open a juice box and spill it all over the floor, take a bunch of "keys" off the twins' computer keyboard and other various things all under their father's supervision. I am not suggesting that things don't happen on my watch because they most often do. For instance, under my watch they have run naked through the yard, completely destroyed their rooms and much worse.
I got up from my nap and felt a smidge better so I decided to steam clean the area of carpet behind my couch. WOW! That was some nasty carpet. I am wondering if Sarah's pink dinosaur comes out of the walls at night and dredges mud behind the couch! Stranger things have happened my friends.
Anyway my day was a bust. I did, however, get caught up on Little People, Big World and some Dr. Phil episodes that had been sitting there for quite some time. I am not a huge fan of Dr Phil but sometimes he has some interesting topics on there. For instance, the one I watched was about this 16 year old (now 18) who met a boy on the Internet. Okay wait he wasn't really a boy, he was 22. Now I kept waiting and waiting for the good doctor to say something to the girl's Mother about the fact that this girl was seeing a man six years older than her but he never did. This guy somehow convinced this girl to quit playing soccer, dye her hair a different color monthly, quit hanging out with her friends and not attend family functions - her Uncle's 80th birthday party. Now while my first impression of this girl is "What the hello kitty is wrong with this girl?" it gets worse. Her boyfriend told her he preferred skinny girls. Now this girls wasn't sickly thin and she was certainly not fat but he convinced her otherwise...she got a box cutter, went to her room and sliced her inner thigh open thinking that she could drain the fat out of herself. Seriously? If I thought this would truly work I would have tried this a long time ago! On more than just my thighs... Now I just think this girl is certifiable. She didn't tell her Mom what she had done for two days, it got infected, turned green and she had to go to the ER. Nice! Oh and she told her Mom she was trying to cut her jeans into shorts. The stupidity runs deep in that family, that's all I'm sayin'. In conclusion, she is now dating a nice boy but still hung up on her behavior with the other guy, as she should be. The best part for me was when she said she has ruined her life - you are 18 girl, you have not lived enough to be making those kind of assumptions!
Well my new dishwasher is here and installed. I am very happy about this since my two dishwashers leave for camp this weekend. Now I am off to the dentist to have my root canal finished. Let's all hope and pray I do not suffer from chipmunk disorder again!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Monday, July 19, 2010
Fun in the Sun and The Day After.....
Yesterday we were invited by Uncle Craig and Aunt Mary to go to a local lake for some summer fun. Summer fun was to include a picnic, swimming and boating. Expected arrival time: 10:30am, actual arrival time 11:45am. I would be shocked if you actually thought we would be there at the expected time. I used to be a timely person but that was before my 3rd child.
The night beforehand, I could not sleep and didn't actually get to sleep until about 4:45am. Getting up at 8:15am was a little more than I could handle. I was up at 8:30am and hopped in the shower which in hindsight was pretty stupid since we were going to be swimming in a lake. I just have trouble functioning if I don't have my morning shower. Abigail had a sleepover the night before and she needed to be picked up at 9:30am so we could head up. Instead I got there are 9:45am after getting gas for the vehicle and then we came home to finish getting ready and left here about 10:30am. The lake we were going to is about a 30 minute ride when you take back country roads. It tooks us an hour to get there. My husband decided rather than chit chat with his wife and kids he would play chess on his cell phone. The reason I mention this is because I blame him for it taking 30 minutes longer than it should have because he wouldn't turn off his phone and help me look for signs. I had asked him very specifically to stop playing and help me. I guess that was too much to ask because apparently he thinks I am a superhero who can focus amazingly with children screaming in the background and complaining about someone being their space! Needless to say, I drove 30 minutes past our destination before the fighting began.
Let me set the scene for you; Me, angry...husband, oblivious and all judgemental....kids whining in the background except Sarah who was singing a little ,"I'm gonna ride on a real boat" melody. Scott all of the sudden decides to tear himself away from his chess game and say, "Why are we in Delaware? You are waaaay past Alum Creek!" Really Sherlock? You couldn't have told me this 15 miles ago? Perhaps when I asked you to put your game down and help me? I turned around and headed back the correct direction but I started thinking that may be I over did the yelling because now he is being a complete smartass over exaggerating every direction. Seriously, I missed one turn and now I am being treated like a first time driver! Finally an hour and fifteen minutes after our planned arrival, we are there.
We unload the vehichle and head towards the beach. Everyone is ready to hit the beach. The kids jump in the water and start swimming. I sit and try to recover from the vicious plot to murder him I had going in my mind and wonder why exactly the state would be against me having alcohol in the state park. Back to my senses, I decide to go swim for a bit when I see my brother-in-law and sister-in-law pull up, 12:15pm. HA! See I am not the only one who's late! We beat them by 30 minutes fair and square.
Some of our family came back from using the boat and we hopped on for a ride. We headed out on the lake and started to go tubing. First up, Scott (who I was still secretly plotting against) and Marc. They held on pretty well but finally they tipped. Marc lost his swimming trunks and Scott lost his swim shoes - unfortuneatly, I'm sorry, luckily they were both able to recover their lost items. The kids all had a turn and then Natalie and I went together. I can't say for sure but I think that our husbands were plotting something. We held on pretty well and then down we went.
Back at the beach, we finally ate lunch. Apparently they got in trouble, while we were out on the boat, by the park ranger for cooking on the beach. I am just glad the food was done because when you are always late the first thing you cut out of your need to do before we go list is eating! After awhile it was our turn to go back out on the boat - ADULTS ONLY! Can I get a woot woot?
We are all (not Scott, he stays behind due to lack of sleep) hopping in the boat when Natalie flips her flop as Paul hoists her head first into the boat! Good times people, good times. We drop Uncle Craig off at the dock so he can do something...honestly I have no idea what he was doing there. We gas up and head out to open water. Paul is driving the boat and Brian is on the board kicking astronaut . Next, Marc tries the board, FAIL.he tries skiing, Fail. Paul skiis perfectly until Brian allegedely screws him up on the tension front. Theresa and I are chatting it up and talking about how we both used to skii when we were in our teens and she all but dares me to try to ski. What are we in middle school? You call him, no you call him...hehehehe....I'll do it if you do it. Okay I can't let a dare pass me by. I don't know why I can't. I think it's just my nature though I am not competitive at all.
Out in the water I go......skiis on, oops, off, no on, oh no off...okay okay they are both on, rope in hand, knees together, legs bent, the boat takes off.....FAIL! Again, skiis on, rope in hand, knees together, boat takes off....FAIL. So apparently I can not keep my legs together, whatever! I thought briefly about trying the board. I threw in the skiis, they threw out the board and as I am failing at getting my feet in the board they are giving me instructions and someone mentioned drowning. It was at the precise moment that I decided to let Theresa ski. Yeah, so that went well, she got the skiis on, swallowed a bucket of water and that was before she attempted skiing. Let's just say she tried once, FAIL back in the boat. Natalie decides to give it a try...she tried three times....fail, fail, fail. It's safe to say that three of us will not be getting a job at Cedar Point in the ski show. Awwww shucks! Marc tried skiing again and we all decided that tubing is our sport. Theresa and I went together and I swear I haven't laughed that hard in a very long time. We held our own and stayed on that tube quite awhile. Marc and Natalie went together....word on the street is he's a tube hog.
When we get back to the beach, we are all laughing and the kids are all waiting staring at us like we had robbed them. Where have you been? You guys were gone for two hours! Blah, blah, blah. The father's (except Scott, he was still lacking sleep) and grandfather's took all the kids for a short ride around the lake.
By the time they got back dark clouds were moving in, it began storming shortly after and we packed up and headed home. It was a really fun day.
Monday. Monday was the day we all paid for the fun we had yesterday. My shoulder hurts, my triceps hurt, my ribcage hurts and this my friends is how we know I had fun! Word on the web is there are a lot of us in pain today.
Natalie and the kids came over for a bit...we were whining about how sore we were and laughing about the fun we had had yesterday when out of nowhere a blob of white matter lands on Natalie's hand - oh yes, a bird crapped on her! Yup, I am glad she was sitting in that exact spot and not me.
Anyway, I am out of my mind tired still so I am sorry if my life wasn't as entertaining as it usually is...
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
The night beforehand, I could not sleep and didn't actually get to sleep until about 4:45am. Getting up at 8:15am was a little more than I could handle. I was up at 8:30am and hopped in the shower which in hindsight was pretty stupid since we were going to be swimming in a lake. I just have trouble functioning if I don't have my morning shower. Abigail had a sleepover the night before and she needed to be picked up at 9:30am so we could head up. Instead I got there are 9:45am after getting gas for the vehicle and then we came home to finish getting ready and left here about 10:30am. The lake we were going to is about a 30 minute ride when you take back country roads. It tooks us an hour to get there. My husband decided rather than chit chat with his wife and kids he would play chess on his cell phone. The reason I mention this is because I blame him for it taking 30 minutes longer than it should have because he wouldn't turn off his phone and help me look for signs. I had asked him very specifically to stop playing and help me. I guess that was too much to ask because apparently he thinks I am a superhero who can focus amazingly with children screaming in the background and complaining about someone being their space! Needless to say, I drove 30 minutes past our destination before the fighting began.
Let me set the scene for you; Me, angry...husband, oblivious and all judgemental....kids whining in the background except Sarah who was singing a little ,"I'm gonna ride on a real boat" melody. Scott all of the sudden decides to tear himself away from his chess game and say, "Why are we in Delaware? You are waaaay past Alum Creek!" Really Sherlock? You couldn't have told me this 15 miles ago? Perhaps when I asked you to put your game down and help me? I turned around and headed back the correct direction but I started thinking that may be I over did the yelling because now he is being a complete smartass over exaggerating every direction. Seriously, I missed one turn and now I am being treated like a first time driver! Finally an hour and fifteen minutes after our planned arrival, we are there.
We unload the vehichle and head towards the beach. Everyone is ready to hit the beach. The kids jump in the water and start swimming. I sit and try to recover from the vicious plot to murder him I had going in my mind and wonder why exactly the state would be against me having alcohol in the state park. Back to my senses, I decide to go swim for a bit when I see my brother-in-law and sister-in-law pull up, 12:15pm. HA! See I am not the only one who's late! We beat them by 30 minutes fair and square.
Some of our family came back from using the boat and we hopped on for a ride. We headed out on the lake and started to go tubing. First up, Scott (who I was still secretly plotting against) and Marc. They held on pretty well but finally they tipped. Marc lost his swimming trunks and Scott lost his swim shoes - unfortuneatly, I'm sorry, luckily they were both able to recover their lost items. The kids all had a turn and then Natalie and I went together. I can't say for sure but I think that our husbands were plotting something. We held on pretty well and then down we went.
Back at the beach, we finally ate lunch. Apparently they got in trouble, while we were out on the boat, by the park ranger for cooking on the beach. I am just glad the food was done because when you are always late the first thing you cut out of your need to do before we go list is eating! After awhile it was our turn to go back out on the boat - ADULTS ONLY! Can I get a woot woot?
We are all (not Scott, he stays behind due to lack of sleep) hopping in the boat when Natalie flips her flop as Paul hoists her head first into the boat! Good times people, good times. We drop Uncle Craig off at the dock so he can do something...honestly I have no idea what he was doing there. We gas up and head out to open water. Paul is driving the boat and Brian is on the board kicking astronaut . Next, Marc tries the board, FAIL.he tries skiing, Fail. Paul skiis perfectly until Brian allegedely screws him up on the tension front. Theresa and I are chatting it up and talking about how we both used to skii when we were in our teens and she all but dares me to try to ski. What are we in middle school? You call him, no you call him...hehehehe....I'll do it if you do it. Okay I can't let a dare pass me by. I don't know why I can't. I think it's just my nature though I am not competitive at all.
Out in the water I go......skiis on, oops, off, no on, oh no off...okay okay they are both on, rope in hand, knees together, legs bent, the boat takes off.....FAIL! Again, skiis on, rope in hand, knees together, boat takes off....FAIL. So apparently I can not keep my legs together, whatever! I thought briefly about trying the board. I threw in the skiis, they threw out the board and as I am failing at getting my feet in the board they are giving me instructions and someone mentioned drowning. It was at the precise moment that I decided to let Theresa ski. Yeah, so that went well, she got the skiis on, swallowed a bucket of water and that was before she attempted skiing. Let's just say she tried once, FAIL back in the boat. Natalie decides to give it a try...she tried three times....fail, fail, fail. It's safe to say that three of us will not be getting a job at Cedar Point in the ski show. Awwww shucks! Marc tried skiing again and we all decided that tubing is our sport. Theresa and I went together and I swear I haven't laughed that hard in a very long time. We held our own and stayed on that tube quite awhile. Marc and Natalie went together....word on the street is he's a tube hog.
When we get back to the beach, we are all laughing and the kids are all waiting staring at us like we had robbed them. Where have you been? You guys were gone for two hours! Blah, blah, blah. The father's (except Scott, he was still lacking sleep) and grandfather's took all the kids for a short ride around the lake.
By the time they got back dark clouds were moving in, it began storming shortly after and we packed up and headed home. It was a really fun day.
Monday. Monday was the day we all paid for the fun we had yesterday. My shoulder hurts, my triceps hurt, my ribcage hurts and this my friends is how we know I had fun! Word on the web is there are a lot of us in pain today.
Natalie and the kids came over for a bit...we were whining about how sore we were and laughing about the fun we had had yesterday when out of nowhere a blob of white matter lands on Natalie's hand - oh yes, a bird crapped on her! Yup, I am glad she was sitting in that exact spot and not me.
Anyway, I am out of my mind tired still so I am sorry if my life wasn't as entertaining as it usually is...
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Ouch
Can not blog today.....while sitting in the "typing" position seems comfy right now I am a little sore from tubing today and thinking that I could ski again. DUH and if that doesn't prove I am the Queen on Insanity, I don't know what does!
I will tell you all about my fun day when I am not completely exhausted....
You know who I am
I will tell you all about my fun day when I am not completely exhausted....
You know who I am
Mom's Night Out - Taking Down Dowtown
My friends and I like to have fun. We are our own little posse, or at least that is my current term for referring to my group of friends. The posse includes the following people: Tammy (though for some reason we didn't take her with us and I am sure she will have a comment about that.), Jennifer, Michelle, Natalie, Myself and more recently Brad has been added to our group. He apparently likes to be tortured! The bottom line is we all like to hang out, laugh and yeah make fun of people, which is the exact behavior I discourage in my children. It's not nice to make fun of others...that is what we are suppose to tell our kids. Tthe truth of the matter is, it's fun. Which is exactly why I couldn't help but tell a young man last night that girls' do not like boys who wear salmon colored shorts. He quickly corrected me and said they were peach. He got them from J. Crew, which he said in a tone that indicated that I wouldn't know what J. Crew was. My response was as follows, "Honey, just because they sell peach colored shorts does not mean you have to buy them!" Seriously I was just trying to help the kid out.! But now I am just jumping ahead of myself...that happened towards the end of the evening.
Brad, wanted to go to this place called "The Big Bang" it was downtown in the Arena District. Now what you should know is that the majority of the posse, we aren't downtown girls. I guess this could be considered lacking in some way but we don't care. We are perfectly content at our little local pub. However, we were willing to step out on the edge and have a gander at what the big city might have to offer.
Michelle, Natalie and I got ready and started to head out at around 8:30pm. Since we aren't spring chickens anymore we had to make a quick pit stop at Smoothie Brews for a cup of joe before our big ole journey downtown. All the while, Jennifer and Brad are biting at the bit to get out, texting and leaving messages for us to get our astronauts over there immediately. Seriously? We are on our way.....calm yourselves. We finally get over to Jennifer's load up and head to The Big Bang. Thanks to Jennifer we got free parking and only had to walk a short way to the bar.
Let me set the scene; you walk down a set of steps and then you are in this piano bar. For those of you from around here, this place is just like Howl At The Moon that used to be in German Village. There are two pianos sitting across from each other and a set of drums...they play oldies and newbie songs alike. People sing along, dance and sometimes even acted crazy. Okay, this wasn't so bad and luckily three of us smoke so we could be safe in numbers and escape when necessary.
If you read my post earlier, you might appreciate that the following information about perfect strangers was gathered while I was outside smoking. Also, for those of you who have spent anytime around me know, I am completely incapable of meeting a stranger. I will literally talk to anyone. I love to listen to people talk - not in a creepy way. I just find people interesting and live vicariously through their experiences. Okay, cat's out of the bag, stay-at-home mom's need this kind of stimulation.
My first trip to the patio I met a woman who apparently never met a stranger either. She was a very attractive woman, dressed very trendy and I didn't notice her purse until she said, "I'm probably not going to get picked up carrying a bag with my kids' picture on it!" I laughed and said, "Probably not!". What I was really thinking was, "What the hello kitty? Who freakin' takes a purse with their kids' pictures on it out to a bar in the first place?" I don't even carry my regular "Mom" purse when I go out. Just then her husband comes around the corner and she says laughing, "Just kidding I am here with my husband!" Yeah, ok - still taking a purse with your kids on it out, just a little weird in my book. Honestly, I would be a nervous wreck with a purse like that at a bar. I'd be hearing their little voices in my head saying, "Mom! MOM! Can I have a drink? Can I have a snack? I'm hungry! Mom! She is......", you get the picture. I think it would only lead me to drink more.
My second trip to the patio for nicotine lead me to Clinton and James. Clinton and James were homosexuals and this was not an assumption, they told me as much. Actually, they told me they were fags. My conversation started with them simply because James needed a light. I think, no, I know these two were my favorites of all the people I met last night. What I found out from these two was this; Clinton was 27 years old and loved my new tattoo, he was one of three children and two out of three of them were homosexual and he has not yet come "out" to his Mother. Okay, I am just saying one could not miss the signs with this guy unless he has an alter ego that he uses around her. Clinton was a riot and had much better fashion sense than peach shorts boy. James, James was another interesting one to talk to. James was 26 years old and was going through a divorce. He has two daughters and got married because even though he knew he was gay he felt it was the right thing to do. He came out to his Mom in his late teens but she refuses to believe it. She thinks it's a phase - he is positive it isn't. I am on James' side on this one. I really don't think begging gay is something you outgrow. Oh and FYI, he said The Union is a great gay bar...just in case you wanted to know.
My next trip to the patio, was not so fruitful. Three guys, all of which seemed angry to me, and of course one of them, consequently the only half friendly one needed a light. What the heck, did everyone forget their lighters tonight or what? I shouldn't be so judgemental, I am constantly losing mine. Oh and I hope you non-smokers aren't counting how many times I went out to smoke either - you'd never figure out how many cigarettes I actually smoked anyway because most of the time I was out there, there was more than one. Back to angry guys, one of them, the angriest one was going on about how in love he was with some girl and he would marry her right this instant if she would only accept. That's a good place to start, her accepting but I would probably try not to be so angry, geesh! I could completely see why she wouldn't want to marry him. I just can not ever keep my mouth shut, it's a curse I swear! I looked at him and said, "Exactly how old are you?" and his reply, "23"....AAAAHHHHHH Thanks for playing mister. Seriously, I told him that he was way too young and he should continue enjoying his 20's and to not think about marriage until he was in his late 20's, early 30's. His half-friendly friend smiled but HE didn't really appreciate my advice. I know this because he looked at me as if to say, "SHUT THE HELLO KITTY UP BISCUIT!" Half friendly backed me up and then I thought it was best if I just put out my cigarette and left. Angry guy was a joy kill.
*Pause for a brief explanation of the mock cussing I have been using. My kids and one of their friends think I cuss too much. In an effort to make them happy I am testing out their substitute cuss words here, which I happen to think is working very well in this format but it isn't having much of an affect in my speech. Sorry kids.*
My next trip out for a smoke break was an interesting one. I met someone who I have decided to pet-name Mrs Robinson. If you don't know the Mrs Robinson reference, please do some homework, I don't feel like explaining it to you. The truth is I never even got her name but as it turns out Mrs Robinson was in her mid to late 30's and apparently an unhappily married woman. She said she had a boyfriend but he had recently gotten a "real" girlfriend. She was quite jealous that her boyfriend had a girlfriend now because the new girlfriend was eating up all his time. Frankly, I had no advice for this woman because what can one say to that? Ummmmm, yeah, you are married and you are jealous of your boyfriend's girlfriend. That's just plain crazy.
My next and final trip to the patio is when I officially met peach short boy and three of his friends. I never did get peach short boy's name actually - probably because he wanted to punch me! I did however, meet Jordan and Sean - both very cute college boys. Right, I know I said there were three friends, the third guy was another angry one. I think he might have been angry that I called his friend out on the ugly shorts - I know I keep focusing on the peach shorts but I can't help it. Peach shorts on a guy? Really? Miami Vice has been over for years! Now Jordan and Sean were both very cute, did I all ready say that? No, I wasn't trying to pick them up just being social on the patio, I can't help that they were cute and I wanted to look at them! So I was talking to Jordan about what he was doing since graduating from college at all of 24 years old (investment banker) and I happen to look over towards Sean (26 year old) and he is completely sucking face with Mrs Robinson! Where did she even come from? Apparently she was ready to move on from her other issues. WOW!
See you non-smokers have no idea what you are missing by staying "inside" all the time. I am glad, except in the winter, for being ostracized to a smoking area. It's kinda like that commercial for crash test dummies. You can learn a lot from a smoker! People will tell you their life story if you listen. Not that I am suggesting that you have to or would even care. To be perfectly honest, I don't really care about half of the stuff I heard last night which is primarily why I was able to remember every last word all of them told me and have transcribed down here for your reading enjoyment.
We literally did close down the bar last night, we had fun inside and outside of The Big Bang. I got Brad a sticker for his truck there that said, "Bang This". He loves it. We headed back to Ptown, dropping Jennifer and Brad off on the way.
Today I woke up to surprisingly dressed little ones and somehow I managed to stay in my pj's until 4pm! My ipod has gone missing and I actually think it's my fault this time but Sarah insists it is her dinosaur at work. Emma stared at the tv playing xbox for three hours today so she could beat the game. Abigail had a sleepover . Instead of going to bed at a decent hour, here I sit blogging about people whom we don't even knows lives.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Brad, wanted to go to this place called "The Big Bang" it was downtown in the Arena District. Now what you should know is that the majority of the posse, we aren't downtown girls. I guess this could be considered lacking in some way but we don't care. We are perfectly content at our little local pub. However, we were willing to step out on the edge and have a gander at what the big city might have to offer.
Michelle, Natalie and I got ready and started to head out at around 8:30pm. Since we aren't spring chickens anymore we had to make a quick pit stop at Smoothie Brews for a cup of joe before our big ole journey downtown. All the while, Jennifer and Brad are biting at the bit to get out, texting and leaving messages for us to get our astronauts over there immediately. Seriously? We are on our way.....calm yourselves. We finally get over to Jennifer's load up and head to The Big Bang. Thanks to Jennifer we got free parking and only had to walk a short way to the bar.
Let me set the scene; you walk down a set of steps and then you are in this piano bar. For those of you from around here, this place is just like Howl At The Moon that used to be in German Village. There are two pianos sitting across from each other and a set of drums...they play oldies and newbie songs alike. People sing along, dance and sometimes even acted crazy. Okay, this wasn't so bad and luckily three of us smoke so we could be safe in numbers and escape when necessary.
If you read my post earlier, you might appreciate that the following information about perfect strangers was gathered while I was outside smoking. Also, for those of you who have spent anytime around me know, I am completely incapable of meeting a stranger. I will literally talk to anyone. I love to listen to people talk - not in a creepy way. I just find people interesting and live vicariously through their experiences. Okay, cat's out of the bag, stay-at-home mom's need this kind of stimulation.
My first trip to the patio I met a woman who apparently never met a stranger either. She was a very attractive woman, dressed very trendy and I didn't notice her purse until she said, "I'm probably not going to get picked up carrying a bag with my kids' picture on it!" I laughed and said, "Probably not!". What I was really thinking was, "What the hello kitty? Who freakin' takes a purse with their kids' pictures on it out to a bar in the first place?" I don't even carry my regular "Mom" purse when I go out. Just then her husband comes around the corner and she says laughing, "Just kidding I am here with my husband!" Yeah, ok - still taking a purse with your kids on it out, just a little weird in my book. Honestly, I would be a nervous wreck with a purse like that at a bar. I'd be hearing their little voices in my head saying, "Mom! MOM! Can I have a drink? Can I have a snack? I'm hungry! Mom! She is......", you get the picture. I think it would only lead me to drink more.
My second trip to the patio for nicotine lead me to Clinton and James. Clinton and James were homosexuals and this was not an assumption, they told me as much. Actually, they told me they were fags. My conversation started with them simply because James needed a light. I think, no, I know these two were my favorites of all the people I met last night. What I found out from these two was this; Clinton was 27 years old and loved my new tattoo, he was one of three children and two out of three of them were homosexual and he has not yet come "out" to his Mother. Okay, I am just saying one could not miss the signs with this guy unless he has an alter ego that he uses around her. Clinton was a riot and had much better fashion sense than peach shorts boy. James, James was another interesting one to talk to. James was 26 years old and was going through a divorce. He has two daughters and got married because even though he knew he was gay he felt it was the right thing to do. He came out to his Mom in his late teens but she refuses to believe it. She thinks it's a phase - he is positive it isn't. I am on James' side on this one. I really don't think begging gay is something you outgrow. Oh and FYI, he said The Union is a great gay bar...just in case you wanted to know.
My next trip to the patio, was not so fruitful. Three guys, all of which seemed angry to me, and of course one of them, consequently the only half friendly one needed a light. What the heck, did everyone forget their lighters tonight or what? I shouldn't be so judgemental, I am constantly losing mine. Oh and I hope you non-smokers aren't counting how many times I went out to smoke either - you'd never figure out how many cigarettes I actually smoked anyway because most of the time I was out there, there was more than one. Back to angry guys, one of them, the angriest one was going on about how in love he was with some girl and he would marry her right this instant if she would only accept. That's a good place to start, her accepting but I would probably try not to be so angry, geesh! I could completely see why she wouldn't want to marry him. I just can not ever keep my mouth shut, it's a curse I swear! I looked at him and said, "Exactly how old are you?" and his reply, "23"....AAAAHHHHHH Thanks for playing mister. Seriously, I told him that he was way too young and he should continue enjoying his 20's and to not think about marriage until he was in his late 20's, early 30's. His half-friendly friend smiled but HE didn't really appreciate my advice. I know this because he looked at me as if to say, "SHUT THE HELLO KITTY UP BISCUIT!" Half friendly backed me up and then I thought it was best if I just put out my cigarette and left. Angry guy was a joy kill.
*Pause for a brief explanation of the mock cussing I have been using. My kids and one of their friends think I cuss too much. In an effort to make them happy I am testing out their substitute cuss words here, which I happen to think is working very well in this format but it isn't having much of an affect in my speech. Sorry kids.*
My next trip out for a smoke break was an interesting one. I met someone who I have decided to pet-name Mrs Robinson. If you don't know the Mrs Robinson reference, please do some homework, I don't feel like explaining it to you. The truth is I never even got her name but as it turns out Mrs Robinson was in her mid to late 30's and apparently an unhappily married woman. She said she had a boyfriend but he had recently gotten a "real" girlfriend. She was quite jealous that her boyfriend had a girlfriend now because the new girlfriend was eating up all his time. Frankly, I had no advice for this woman because what can one say to that? Ummmmm, yeah, you are married and you are jealous of your boyfriend's girlfriend. That's just plain crazy.
My next and final trip to the patio is when I officially met peach short boy and three of his friends. I never did get peach short boy's name actually - probably because he wanted to punch me! I did however, meet Jordan and Sean - both very cute college boys. Right, I know I said there were three friends, the third guy was another angry one. I think he might have been angry that I called his friend out on the ugly shorts - I know I keep focusing on the peach shorts but I can't help it. Peach shorts on a guy? Really? Miami Vice has been over for years! Now Jordan and Sean were both very cute, did I all ready say that? No, I wasn't trying to pick them up just being social on the patio, I can't help that they were cute and I wanted to look at them! So I was talking to Jordan about what he was doing since graduating from college at all of 24 years old (investment banker) and I happen to look over towards Sean (26 year old) and he is completely sucking face with Mrs Robinson! Where did she even come from? Apparently she was ready to move on from her other issues. WOW!
See you non-smokers have no idea what you are missing by staying "inside" all the time. I am glad, except in the winter, for being ostracized to a smoking area. It's kinda like that commercial for crash test dummies. You can learn a lot from a smoker! People will tell you their life story if you listen. Not that I am suggesting that you have to or would even care. To be perfectly honest, I don't really care about half of the stuff I heard last night which is primarily why I was able to remember every last word all of them told me and have transcribed down here for your reading enjoyment.
We literally did close down the bar last night, we had fun inside and outside of The Big Bang. I got Brad a sticker for his truck there that said, "Bang This". He loves it. We headed back to Ptown, dropping Jennifer and Brad off on the way.
Today I woke up to surprisingly dressed little ones and somehow I managed to stay in my pj's until 4pm! My ipod has gone missing and I actually think it's my fault this time but Sarah insists it is her dinosaur at work. Emma stared at the tv playing xbox for three hours today so she could beat the game. Abigail had a sleepover . Instead of going to bed at a decent hour, here I sit blogging about people whom we don't even knows lives.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Smoking, I Didn't Want To Do It
You may remember the glowing blog about my sister a day or two ago. Now it's time to talk about my brother, Kevin. I love him dearly. He is a flippin' hoot and if you ever need someone to make you laugh, he is your man! On the flip side of this statement, when he is done making you laugh he might just tie you up to a couch with a telephone cord and stuff his dirty socks in your mouth. True story people.
When I was little my brother was mean to me every chance he had - my perception of course. He especially loved when I had my friends over (HA!) and they were also subject to random acts of meanness and yet we all loved him. Now I am not saying that in his teenage mind we didn't' deserve to be tortured. In hindsight, I know I deserved some of it. I, being the precious baby of the family, loved to tattle-tale on him for every little infraction. I would tell my parents or Tammy, who would always defend me. He would get in trouble and then I had to be on the lookout because I just knew that his retaliation was just around the corner. You can see the vicious circle this would cause.
Now when he was a teenager and I was just a little thing he would take me for rides on his bike and smoke. I would immediately rat him out. Why? I don't know...anything to get him in trouble. You read how mean he was to me!
Okay, now fast forward to me being about 14 years old, Kevin back home after his divorce. By this time I didn't think he was so mean anymore, he was an opportunity waiting to happen. First of all, he would drive me to school. Secondly, he smoked but I didn't discover this was a perk until a little while later. Lastly, he was actually cool. What we are going to focus on here is secondly.
One day I was just meandering around the house and discovered that he had left his cigarettes on top of the microwave. SCORE! I immediately called my best friend and told her to meet me at Asbury Elementary. She did and we smoked. I am pretty sure that neither of us inhaled but we thought we were the shit-zu, that's for sure. Thinking back on this, wow, I was a bad influence on my friends! However, she was a willing participant, I didn't twist her arm or anything! Michelle and I have had lots of bad ideas together over the years so I think it balances out. Anyway, we stole lots of cigarettes from him over the years.
I pretty much smoked from then on. I married a man who despised smoking. I have heard about his years and years of torture being around his Dad's smoking. How he would break and hide his Dad's cigarettes. Poor Tim, that's who I felt sorry for when Scott was telling me about all the things he had done to him. You know, now that I think about it, Scott must really have loved me considering I was an "offender" and he married me anyway. Oh and here's a funny thing, one year for some insignificant holiday Scott me a gift bag that contained an awesome black Zippo lighter accompanied with an American Lung Association "Quit Smoking" tape. I am laughing right now thinking about this. What exactly are you wanting me to do here? Smoke? Quit? I don't know what that meant but I continued with smoking. What would be the point in having that beautiful lighter?
I quit smoking while I was pregnant with all of my girls. I lasted 5 months post-natal after the twins and then I just couldn't stand it anymore. Raising twins was hard work and what else can make me feel better than my precious nicotine? NOTHING and I hadn't discovered my love for the Captain yet.
Things take a drastic turn after 9/11. Scott gets activated with the Army National Guard soon after and began "recreational" smoking. By recreational smoking I mean he smoked on occasion to pass time. When his time was done with that activation he went back to not smoking at all. Then he got activated again a little under a year later (if my mind serves me correctly and we all know my mind can't be trusted....). He was sent to Wisconsin for a few moments before heading to Kuwait and finally Iraq. Apparently his disdain for smoking was over. By the time he came home from Iraq he was a full fledged smoker. SCORE for the smoking team! WOOT WOOT! Of course, I got pregnant with Olivia the very week he came home (By the way, he swears that she is the Schwan man's baby) and had to stop my addiction. I saw this as opportunity to pay him back for all of his snide remarks over the years about my smoking. Somehow he failed to see the humor in my constant nagging at him about smoking. Paybacks are a bitch buddy!
Much to my shock and dismay, I ended up pregnant again with Sarah and continued to refrain from smoking. I was happy about not smoking. After awhile though, I just couldn't be around the smoking without craving one. My nagging at him had gone from sport to pleading. I really wanted him to quit because I didn't want to do start. But here's what happened, my sweet little twins had become eye-rolling, snot nose brats and I couldn't deal with them and two toddlers without help. This is when I discovered my unwavering love for Captain Morgan. I found an outlet for my stress, Mom's Night Out with my Michelle (Our group has expanded over the past year and a half). One night the table's turned and she offered me a cigarette. The circle of life I tell ya!
In conclusion, smoking is an addiction. You can run but you can't hide and if you are not a smoker, you just can't and won't get it. Also, my brother now tortures my kids - who should be thankful that phones are primarily cordless these days, and dates Michelle. I hope he smokes her cigarettes on occasion...I am sure she owes him a few!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
P.S. My kids are running around naked right now.
When I was little my brother was mean to me every chance he had - my perception of course. He especially loved when I had my friends over (HA!) and they were also subject to random acts of meanness and yet we all loved him. Now I am not saying that in his teenage mind we didn't' deserve to be tortured. In hindsight, I know I deserved some of it. I, being the precious baby of the family, loved to tattle-tale on him for every little infraction. I would tell my parents or Tammy, who would always defend me. He would get in trouble and then I had to be on the lookout because I just knew that his retaliation was just around the corner. You can see the vicious circle this would cause.
Now when he was a teenager and I was just a little thing he would take me for rides on his bike and smoke. I would immediately rat him out. Why? I don't know...anything to get him in trouble. You read how mean he was to me!
Okay, now fast forward to me being about 14 years old, Kevin back home after his divorce. By this time I didn't think he was so mean anymore, he was an opportunity waiting to happen. First of all, he would drive me to school. Secondly, he smoked but I didn't discover this was a perk until a little while later. Lastly, he was actually cool. What we are going to focus on here is secondly.
One day I was just meandering around the house and discovered that he had left his cigarettes on top of the microwave. SCORE! I immediately called my best friend and told her to meet me at Asbury Elementary. She did and we smoked. I am pretty sure that neither of us inhaled but we thought we were the shit-zu, that's for sure. Thinking back on this, wow, I was a bad influence on my friends! However, she was a willing participant, I didn't twist her arm or anything! Michelle and I have had lots of bad ideas together over the years so I think it balances out. Anyway, we stole lots of cigarettes from him over the years.
I pretty much smoked from then on. I married a man who despised smoking. I have heard about his years and years of torture being around his Dad's smoking. How he would break and hide his Dad's cigarettes. Poor Tim, that's who I felt sorry for when Scott was telling me about all the things he had done to him. You know, now that I think about it, Scott must really have loved me considering I was an "offender" and he married me anyway. Oh and here's a funny thing, one year for some insignificant holiday Scott me a gift bag that contained an awesome black Zippo lighter accompanied with an American Lung Association "Quit Smoking" tape. I am laughing right now thinking about this. What exactly are you wanting me to do here? Smoke? Quit? I don't know what that meant but I continued with smoking. What would be the point in having that beautiful lighter?
I quit smoking while I was pregnant with all of my girls. I lasted 5 months post-natal after the twins and then I just couldn't stand it anymore. Raising twins was hard work and what else can make me feel better than my precious nicotine? NOTHING and I hadn't discovered my love for the Captain yet.
Things take a drastic turn after 9/11. Scott gets activated with the Army National Guard soon after and began "recreational" smoking. By recreational smoking I mean he smoked on occasion to pass time. When his time was done with that activation he went back to not smoking at all. Then he got activated again a little under a year later (if my mind serves me correctly and we all know my mind can't be trusted....). He was sent to Wisconsin for a few moments before heading to Kuwait and finally Iraq. Apparently his disdain for smoking was over. By the time he came home from Iraq he was a full fledged smoker. SCORE for the smoking team! WOOT WOOT! Of course, I got pregnant with Olivia the very week he came home (By the way, he swears that she is the Schwan man's baby) and had to stop my addiction. I saw this as opportunity to pay him back for all of his snide remarks over the years about my smoking. Somehow he failed to see the humor in my constant nagging at him about smoking. Paybacks are a bitch buddy!
Much to my shock and dismay, I ended up pregnant again with Sarah and continued to refrain from smoking. I was happy about not smoking. After awhile though, I just couldn't be around the smoking without craving one. My nagging at him had gone from sport to pleading. I really wanted him to quit because I didn't want to do start. But here's what happened, my sweet little twins had become eye-rolling, snot nose brats and I couldn't deal with them and two toddlers without help. This is when I discovered my unwavering love for Captain Morgan. I found an outlet for my stress, Mom's Night Out with my Michelle (Our group has expanded over the past year and a half). One night the table's turned and she offered me a cigarette. The circle of life I tell ya!
In conclusion, smoking is an addiction. You can run but you can't hide and if you are not a smoker, you just can't and won't get it. Also, my brother now tortures my kids - who should be thankful that phones are primarily cordless these days, and dates Michelle. I hope he smokes her cigarettes on occasion...I am sure she owes him a few!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
P.S. My kids are running around naked right now.
I Am Not Running A Nudist Colony
All of my children have gone through a "naked" stage. When Emma and Abigail were little I actualy let them have naked time just before baths. They were happy little larks running around all over the place naked as jaybirds. But on occassion they would have random acts of nakedness. Not a big deal, I think little kids just like to be naked sometimes.
My youngest two, on the otherhand, think that nakedness is an art form. They like to begin everyday by completely stripping off their pajamas and pull-ups and sitting their naked butts on my couch. I find this quite disturbing. I serioulsy do not want their naked selves on my couch. When I try to explain to them that they need to get dressed they look at me like I am some kind of freak. Seriously? I just want you to put clothes on.
These two have also been known to strip off their clothes in the backyard. Honestly, I don't know what is wrong with them. Did I have one too many cokes when I was pregnant? Did I stand to close to the microwave? I just don't know. Really, it's pretty sad when my neighbor says she's seen my kids naked more time than she has seen her own kids!
I swear, I am not running a nudist colongy. I just wish I could convince the kids of that!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
My youngest two, on the otherhand, think that nakedness is an art form. They like to begin everyday by completely stripping off their pajamas and pull-ups and sitting their naked butts on my couch. I find this quite disturbing. I serioulsy do not want their naked selves on my couch. When I try to explain to them that they need to get dressed they look at me like I am some kind of freak. Seriously? I just want you to put clothes on.
These two have also been known to strip off their clothes in the backyard. Honestly, I don't know what is wrong with them. Did I have one too many cokes when I was pregnant? Did I stand to close to the microwave? I just don't know. Really, it's pretty sad when my neighbor says she's seen my kids naked more time than she has seen her own kids!
I swear, I am not running a nudist colongy. I just wish I could convince the kids of that!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Friday, July 16, 2010
Yesterday......
Yesterday I got to sleep in until 10:00am. It was blissful to sleep in so late. I shouldn't lie by ommission and tell you I actually get to sleep in a lot if I am able. My children have been trained to sleep in, work the television and fix themsevles breakfast if necessary. What? I like my sleep!
By the time I got up and showered it was time to head to OSU for Emma and Abigail's yearly research appointment. They have been "subjects" since they were 4 years old. Normally they come to our home and do their investigative stuff here. Not this time, they wanted to track their eye movement which meant a trip to their lab. This lab was in the physics building on OSU's campus. I know that you all will find this incredibily shocking but we were late. As always I have a really great excuse - construction. We get there and park in the garage we were supposed to however, we went out the wrong exit to meet the researchers. DUH! I call them and tell them we are there and in my mind asked where the hello kitty they were because clearly I did what I supposed to do. Finally we figured out where we were and filled out the necessary paperwork. Then the researchers said five glorious words to me, "You do not have to stay." They then handed me a parking validation and I went shopping....ALONE!
My time was up and I went back to pick them up but they weren't quite done yet so I plopped down on a bench and played around with my phone. There were lots of students walking around and a few of them stopped right within my earshot. Let me just tell you, if you want to feel intelligent go hang out at a preschool because a physics lab building is beyond your understanding - trust me on this! Words fell on my ears that I have never in my life! The worst part of it all, they all looked completely normal. One would typically imagine these people to look nerdy with a pen protector in their pockets - not the case here.
After picking up the girls we headed home in rush hour traffic. This was the highlight of my day. Right, I could NEVER work downtown and have to deal with that mess everyday. You would honestly see me on the 6 o'clock news due to road rage. Not helping the matter is one of my precious daughters is telling me how to drive and watch out here, watch out there. Seriously? Do you have a drivers license? My response to her was, "I can not wait for you to get your temps in a few years because I am going to be your worst enemy!"
Now in the meantime I had sent my darling husband a text and asked him to start dinner at 5pm so the girls could eat before going to Vacation Bible School. Oh yes, he got the text but since he was mowing the grass he didn't know what time it was, therefore, he was unable to start dinner. I am rushing around trying to get dinner ready so we can get out the door and he is totally clueless. The chicken came off the grill the minute we should have been walking out the door. The kids ate in the car....I guess that gives new meaning to fast food. They got to VBS one minute late. I decided to do a little more alone shopping. I then went home and waited for them to get back.
I decided to go out with my sister, my bffffff Michelle and a couple my sister's inlaws. It was Karoke night....need I say more? Alcohol and singing don't mix. No we sounded fabulous I am sure of it.
And now I have to run to the mall to buy a birthday gift and take the twins to Barnes and Noble to spend their research reward gift cards - $20. Emma is biting at the bit to get there.
I will be posting again later today but until then.....
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
By the time I got up and showered it was time to head to OSU for Emma and Abigail's yearly research appointment. They have been "subjects" since they were 4 years old. Normally they come to our home and do their investigative stuff here. Not this time, they wanted to track their eye movement which meant a trip to their lab. This lab was in the physics building on OSU's campus. I know that you all will find this incredibily shocking but we were late. As always I have a really great excuse - construction. We get there and park in the garage we were supposed to however, we went out the wrong exit to meet the researchers. DUH! I call them and tell them we are there and in my mind asked where the hello kitty they were because clearly I did what I supposed to do. Finally we figured out where we were and filled out the necessary paperwork. Then the researchers said five glorious words to me, "You do not have to stay." They then handed me a parking validation and I went shopping....ALONE!
My time was up and I went back to pick them up but they weren't quite done yet so I plopped down on a bench and played around with my phone. There were lots of students walking around and a few of them stopped right within my earshot. Let me just tell you, if you want to feel intelligent go hang out at a preschool because a physics lab building is beyond your understanding - trust me on this! Words fell on my ears that I have never in my life! The worst part of it all, they all looked completely normal. One would typically imagine these people to look nerdy with a pen protector in their pockets - not the case here.
After picking up the girls we headed home in rush hour traffic. This was the highlight of my day. Right, I could NEVER work downtown and have to deal with that mess everyday. You would honestly see me on the 6 o'clock news due to road rage. Not helping the matter is one of my precious daughters is telling me how to drive and watch out here, watch out there. Seriously? Do you have a drivers license? My response to her was, "I can not wait for you to get your temps in a few years because I am going to be your worst enemy!"
Now in the meantime I had sent my darling husband a text and asked him to start dinner at 5pm so the girls could eat before going to Vacation Bible School. Oh yes, he got the text but since he was mowing the grass he didn't know what time it was, therefore, he was unable to start dinner. I am rushing around trying to get dinner ready so we can get out the door and he is totally clueless. The chicken came off the grill the minute we should have been walking out the door. The kids ate in the car....I guess that gives new meaning to fast food. They got to VBS one minute late. I decided to do a little more alone shopping. I then went home and waited for them to get back.
I decided to go out with my sister, my bffffff Michelle and a couple my sister's inlaws. It was Karoke night....need I say more? Alcohol and singing don't mix. No we sounded fabulous I am sure of it.
And now I have to run to the mall to buy a birthday gift and take the twins to Barnes and Noble to spend their research reward gift cards - $20. Emma is biting at the bit to get there.
I will be posting again later today but until then.....
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
It's Clean Enough
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
Erma Bombeck
For those of you who don't know, I love Erma Bombeck. This woman, may she rest in peace, had a great sense of humor about life. I love that she had something funny to say about almost every topic you might think of. One of my favorite books that she wrote is A Marriage Made In Heaven, Or Too Tired For An Affair. If you want to laugh until your sides hurt, this is one that will make any woman laugh!
So today's events were pretty lame. I got up at 5:45am to get my sweet little Bella in the house for the day and went promptly back to bed. I woke up a few hours later, had my shower and sat quietly till the kids started to wake. As I sat around looking at the state of my house I wanted to drag all the kids out of their beds and put them to work. Peace and Quiet or whining kids? Which do you think I choose? One by one they start creeping down the steps, first Sarah, followed by Olivia, then Abigail and always last Emma. We had breakfast and meandered around for a bit.
Finally I realized that nothing was getting done and I obviously needed my Smoothie Brews fix for the day or nothing would be accomplished. I hopped in my car and headed for my cup of joe. I decided today was going to require a large coffee. Upon arriving at home half of my coffee was gone all ready and I was ready to get to work. I started barking out who would be doing what and what we absolutely had to get done. Everyone went to work. There were some drifters at times but I quickly got them back on task. There is no way my house will ever be spotless and quite honestly, I don't care if it is. We live here after all, it's not a museum.
Now there is another matter I would like to discuss, 5 year olds. Five year olds are their own breed of human beings and that might even be a stretch. I am not sure what happened to my sweet little Olivia. It's like an alien has invaded her body. Here is an example of conversation I had with her today.
Olivia can you please stop jumping on the couch?
NO! I don't want to!
Excuse me? What did you say? (Parents, we are so dumb...I know darn well what she said)
I am not going to stop jumping on the couch! You can't make me!!!!
Excuse me? (Obviously I am going deaf because I am not hearing her correctly)
I like jumping on the couch it's fun and you can't make me stop!
Game over young lady - Time Out!
She begrudgingly goes to time out, all the while telling anyone who will listen that I am not the boss of her. In time out she decides that she is going to play with whatever is in her reach - whatever, at least she went right? Next thing you know Sarah is pleading her case with me, "Just let Livie Lu out of time out Mommy! I want to play with her." Abigail is telling me that I am too soft on the little ones and I should be tougher. WOW! I am so glad I have them to tell me how to parent them because I would be so clueless without their guidance! Geesh, I am not even the boss of Olivia..what ever was I thinking? Yup five is grand!
Scott gets home from work and asks if I am going to dinner with him, his Mom, and their friends. I declined but told him he could drop the kids at my Mom's house for V.B.S. and I would gladly stay home ALONE! At 5 o'clock they all left - blissful silence. Ahhhhhhhhhh I sent a text to my friend Jennifer to celebrate the fact I was all alone. She in turn asked how in the hello kitty that happened and did I want to hang around an adult for awhile. Did she seriously ask me that? Of course I don't want to hang around adult! Am I crazy? Hello Kitty YEAH!!!!! Let me get cleaned up and I am on my way. It probably would have been nice to be here all alone for a time but the truth is I would have gotten bored and done something crazy like clean.
When I got to Jennifer's we decided we were going to get something to eat. Jennifer's Mom had just been over before I arrived and told her that she had some various restaurant gift cards she could have so we went over to see what she had. Outback it was....we had both had a yummy sirloin steak! It should be mentioned that we had to be starving because neither of us left one bit of our meals on the plate. It was so really nice to hang out with a friend and have an uninterrupted conversation. Although, there was a family sitting across from us who decided to bring their tired cranky crying baby out to dinner - Thanks we greatly appreciated that :o) Thanks for dinner Janice!
After dinner I began to head home. I decided to call my Mom to ask where she was with the girls and see if she wanted to meet me somewhere for me to get them. She was very happy about my offer and agreed to meet me. As she pulls up you can just tell she is frazzled. The kids all jump out of the car and go running all over the place. Olivia starts running through the little park in front of us and refuses to come back (5 is greeeeeaaaat!). Emma and Abigail start chasing her which only excited Oliva more in her apparent escape. Sarah was in the car touching every button there is in the dashboard area. My Mom said, "Man am I glad to have them out of my car!" REALLY? Because I am so excited to have them in MY car. WOW!
And that is a day in the life.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Erma Bombeck
For those of you who don't know, I love Erma Bombeck. This woman, may she rest in peace, had a great sense of humor about life. I love that she had something funny to say about almost every topic you might think of. One of my favorite books that she wrote is A Marriage Made In Heaven, Or Too Tired For An Affair. If you want to laugh until your sides hurt, this is one that will make any woman laugh!
So today's events were pretty lame. I got up at 5:45am to get my sweet little Bella in the house for the day and went promptly back to bed. I woke up a few hours later, had my shower and sat quietly till the kids started to wake. As I sat around looking at the state of my house I wanted to drag all the kids out of their beds and put them to work. Peace and Quiet or whining kids? Which do you think I choose? One by one they start creeping down the steps, first Sarah, followed by Olivia, then Abigail and always last Emma. We had breakfast and meandered around for a bit.
Finally I realized that nothing was getting done and I obviously needed my Smoothie Brews fix for the day or nothing would be accomplished. I hopped in my car and headed for my cup of joe. I decided today was going to require a large coffee. Upon arriving at home half of my coffee was gone all ready and I was ready to get to work. I started barking out who would be doing what and what we absolutely had to get done. Everyone went to work. There were some drifters at times but I quickly got them back on task. There is no way my house will ever be spotless and quite honestly, I don't care if it is. We live here after all, it's not a museum.
Now there is another matter I would like to discuss, 5 year olds. Five year olds are their own breed of human beings and that might even be a stretch. I am not sure what happened to my sweet little Olivia. It's like an alien has invaded her body. Here is an example of conversation I had with her today.
Olivia can you please stop jumping on the couch?
NO! I don't want to!
Excuse me? What did you say? (Parents, we are so dumb...I know darn well what she said)
I am not going to stop jumping on the couch! You can't make me!!!!
Excuse me? (Obviously I am going deaf because I am not hearing her correctly)
I like jumping on the couch it's fun and you can't make me stop!
Game over young lady - Time Out!
She begrudgingly goes to time out, all the while telling anyone who will listen that I am not the boss of her. In time out she decides that she is going to play with whatever is in her reach - whatever, at least she went right? Next thing you know Sarah is pleading her case with me, "Just let Livie Lu out of time out Mommy! I want to play with her." Abigail is telling me that I am too soft on the little ones and I should be tougher. WOW! I am so glad I have them to tell me how to parent them because I would be so clueless without their guidance! Geesh, I am not even the boss of Olivia..what ever was I thinking? Yup five is grand!
Scott gets home from work and asks if I am going to dinner with him, his Mom, and their friends. I declined but told him he could drop the kids at my Mom's house for V.B.S. and I would gladly stay home ALONE! At 5 o'clock they all left - blissful silence. Ahhhhhhhhhh I sent a text to my friend Jennifer to celebrate the fact I was all alone. She in turn asked how in the hello kitty that happened and did I want to hang around an adult for awhile. Did she seriously ask me that? Of course I don't want to hang around adult! Am I crazy? Hello Kitty YEAH!!!!! Let me get cleaned up and I am on my way. It probably would have been nice to be here all alone for a time but the truth is I would have gotten bored and done something crazy like clean.
When I got to Jennifer's we decided we were going to get something to eat. Jennifer's Mom had just been over before I arrived and told her that she had some various restaurant gift cards she could have so we went over to see what she had. Outback it was....we had both had a yummy sirloin steak! It should be mentioned that we had to be starving because neither of us left one bit of our meals on the plate. It was so really nice to hang out with a friend and have an uninterrupted conversation. Although, there was a family sitting across from us who decided to bring their tired cranky crying baby out to dinner - Thanks we greatly appreciated that :o) Thanks for dinner Janice!
After dinner I began to head home. I decided to call my Mom to ask where she was with the girls and see if she wanted to meet me somewhere for me to get them. She was very happy about my offer and agreed to meet me. As she pulls up you can just tell she is frazzled. The kids all jump out of the car and go running all over the place. Olivia starts running through the little park in front of us and refuses to come back (5 is greeeeeaaaat!). Emma and Abigail start chasing her which only excited Oliva more in her apparent escape. Sarah was in the car touching every button there is in the dashboard area. My Mom said, "Man am I glad to have them out of my car!" REALLY? Because I am so excited to have them in MY car. WOW!
And that is a day in the life.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Is My Liver Still Functioning?
This is the question I have been asking myself for about a week now. I have been taking so much medication I worry I am doing damage to my poor liver. It must be tired at this point because I have swallowed more drugs in the past two weeks than I can even count.
We have the antibiotics, prescription pain meds, over-the-counter pain meds, two different kinds of allergy medicines, vitamins and the occassional adult beverage. Surely my liver is screaming - HELP ME!!!!!
The real question here is, "Am I tan or is this really a form a jaundice?". Personally I think I look more brown than yellow but could the tan be covering the jaundice? I just don't know. Since my swelling has gone down and mouth isn't hurting as much anymore, I apparently need something new to obsess about. This is nothing a mirror can help with. I can't see my liver for crying out loud!
Sincerely,
The Queen ofObsession Insanity
We have the antibiotics, prescription pain meds, over-the-counter pain meds, two different kinds of allergy medicines, vitamins and the occassional adult beverage. Surely my liver is screaming - HELP ME!!!!!
The real question here is, "Am I tan or is this really a form a jaundice?". Personally I think I look more brown than yellow but could the tan be covering the jaundice? I just don't know. Since my swelling has gone down and mouth isn't hurting as much anymore, I apparently need something new to obsess about. This is nothing a mirror can help with. I can't see my liver for crying out loud!
Sincerely,
The Queen of
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Things I've Learned From My Sister
This is me with my sister, Tammy. For some reason today I have been thinking about life as a whole. I often wonder to myself is anyone in this world sincerely happy. I think most people are content. I am not sure what I am exactly right now. Overall, I think I am happy and can go up to bat against whatever life has to throw at me. But like anyone, I get tired and this is when I rely on my my friends but most of all my sister.
Now that I think about it, this line of thinking started last Saturday night. My sister-in-law and I went out for a "break" at our favorite pub. While sitting outside on the patio there, I overheard a conversation between two girls and a guy. I happen to know one of the girls so it wasn't terribly impolite for me to interject into their chit-chat. (Okay it was rude of me but honestly I couldn't make myself stop!) The guy was rambling on and on about how no woman of his (Because as you know women are property) was going to sit her ass at home with or without kids. WOW! Now, as a domestic goddess you can see how this really irked me. I simply asked, "How old are you exactly?" His reply, "22". I should have stopped right there....taking tiny little steps backwards begging forgiveness for interrupting their conversation. However, if you know me, you know this isn't generally an option for me. I politely argued with him about how kids need their parents. Truthfully, I don't care if parents choose to work or stay at home with their kids (I did when I was younger, but more on this later). There are definitely circumstances that don't allow the luxury of staying home with one's children - though I would argue it's a luxury at times! Some people simply can't afford it and some simply don't want to and that is A-OKAY with me...NOW. What I now realize I wanted was to get through to him that until he was in that position he had no idea what the hello kitty he was talking about. My point and I do have one is this, I have learned a lot of things from my sister about life.
For those of you who don't know, I am the baby in my family. I am 11 and 10 years younger than my siblings. This has proven to have great benefits as well as some pitfalls. Right now we are focusing on the benefits. One of the things I learned early on is that my sister begged for me. All she wanted was a baby sister and thank goodness my parents provided a sister. My name would have been Russell if I were boy! Thank God for small miracles! Can I get an AMEN? Anyway, she loved me from the start and was always doing things for me. My brother on the other hand, not so happy to have a little sister. I suspect this because he tortured me as a child. Although it didn't stop with me, he tortures all of the kids in our family hence his name, Uncle Meanie. If the shoe fits!?!?!?!
I think we all know the term "Live and Learn".....in my case, I almost always have a head's up about how to get ahead of the learning curve. This is not to say that I make the right choices despite my inside information or that there aren't glitches in the system. For instance, when I was a teenager, it took me a while to realize that if your sister wears the same size as you, your clothes are not safe in your closet when you are at school! And despite the fact that your sister is older than you, sometimes the information isn't realized by her until its too late. In that case, a Mom comes in on a white horse you want to shoot because you, of course, know better than your Mother! Another for instance, when I was 19 years old I became engaged to my now husband. I was madly in love after all and could not hear a word my Mother said to me, which was this; YOU ARE TOOOOOOOO YOUNG TO GET MARRIED! My Mom was 17 when she got married, turned 18 a week later and had a baby nine months later. Hindsight is 20/20 people! Clearly, my Mom was giving me great advice and I couldn't hear it. My sister was barely in her 30's and obviously this was a time where there was a glitch in the system. In my defense, my 19 year old decision to get married at 20 has worked for 17 years but marriage isn't easy. Despite the glitch, it's at least something my sister and I can bond and laugh over because she too stupidly got married at 20 years old. I don't think either of us regret getting married to our husbands, we just wish were like 30 something when we did it.
My sister has given me great advice about things never to say. Such as, "My kid would NEVER do that!". Riiiiiight, they will do the very thing you said they would never do, right in front of whomever you told said it to. With my kids I probably would have figured this out sooner rather than later because my kids antics never cease to amaze me. However, it is great advice and I am very careful about the way I word it when I have "moments"....it goes something like this, "If my kid ever does something like that -fill in the blank-".
Tammy alerted me to a lot of things I would go through, experience and do. All to which I replied, "I will never do that". I hate to admit it but she has been right about 98% of it thus far. I can't tell you how many times I have had to tell her she was right. It's not even painful to do so anymore because I know that she is telling me out of love. She told me my 30's would be the best time of my life and though I have nothing to compare it to right now, I am sure she is telling me the truth. Although, our Mother said 50 was fabulous but I suspect that's because I moved out 2 days before she turned 50!
I try to share what I learn from Tammy with my friends. Sometimes my friends just look at me like I am crazy but in the end they are always thankful that I had the inside information.
On another note, my brother will be covered on another day under the Title: I didn't want to do it!
My day today was pretty uneventful. I got new brakes installed professionally! I know you are asking why did she say professionally and here is the answer. In my entire driving life the only people who have ever put brakes on any of my vehicles has been Dad or brother. Get this, I didn't know that brakes weren't suppose to squeak after they were installed!!!!!
The kids only texted and/or called me 500 times while I was gone. Olivia was rotten for the twins and I had to send Aunt Natalie over to set her straight. I am so not loving 5 - WOW! Sarah's imaginary pink pet dinosaur has multiplied into two and she says she can do magic. I asked her if she could use her magic to make our house clean and she looked at me like I was an idiot.
Sincerely,
The Queen Of Insanity
Monday, July 12, 2010
Today's Adventures
I have been promising Emma, Abigail and their friend, Sydney, that I would take them to COSI for three weeks now. Today was do or die day - we had to go. I had told Sydney that we would be there to pick her up at 9:30am and as you may have guessed from my more recent track record, we were not there at 9:30am. However, we were only 15 minutes late so in my opinion it was fashionable!
I decided before we even went that the three older girls could walk around by themselves since they all have cellphones. That and they are old enough to do so now. The littles and I went to "Kidspace" to hang out in the area designated for their age group. Upon entry they make you state your children's ages and give you a little slip of paper that you turn in when you exit. On this paper it says how many adults and how many "big kids" and how many "little kids" are in your group. If your child is going into first grade they are out casted into this little room with misc. toys and games. While I was hanging out watching the girls play, I got on facebook from my new cellphone and caught up my calendar. Then I got bored and I started thinking to myself, "What if I lose the slip of paper?, Will they let me have my kids?, What if I just took two other random kids?, How would they know? Could I get out of here with no kids at all?". Thank goodness my ADD kicked in and I moved on to another obsessive thinking pattern - I didn't take Ibuprofen for my mouth today. This line of thinking only came to surface because I realized I was in pain suddenly. Luckily for me, they had a vending machine stocked with all kinds of handy things in it! There were diapers, wipes, pads, tampons, Tyelonal, ADVIL, benadryl (just kidding) and some other things I can't remember. I only cared about the Advil.. I put my $2.25 in for one packet of two pills - I would have paid $5.00. I guess it was my lucky day because the machine mistakenly pushed out two packets!!! JACKPOT!
We met up with big girls, ate lunch and walked around for about another hour. The girls' seemed satisfied with our field trip and I really wanted to make a pit stop at Sephora to get a new lipstick since mine was ruined somehow - my guess is Sarah's new pal. We hit the mall and head towards home.
Now, I am going to be honest here and just tell you I have a very difficult time focusing when my kids talk to me. I tend to tune them out a great majority of the time. It's not that I don't want to hear them, its just irritating listening to them get to the point. By they time they get to their point I am making mental lists in my head about what I need to get accomplished that day or the next. For some reason today I listened to these three girls talk about their future. Apparently they are planning to all live together in a house, which Abigail is going to buy. Sydney will be responsible for all the other bills as well as cleaning said house. Emma, well she just has to buy groceries and read in her room. Sydney and Emma are going to be teachers. Abigail has higher aspirations - her plan is to own a store at Virginia Beach where she will sell beach towels, hermit crabs and salt water taffy. I am silently laughing to myself thinking how nice it must be to be a pre-teen.
We stopped at Sonic for "Happy Hour" which consisted of 5 strawberry slushies and 1 cherry limeaide. You figure out who's was who's. Sarah must have had her pink dinosaur in the SUV with her because somehow her foam cup managed to bust right in the middle of the cup. Not cracked people - The entire circumference of this cup was fractured! As you might have guessed this had a chain reaction. Sarah was now wearing her strawberry slushie. The only thing further I have to say about this is THANK GOD FOR LEATHER SEATS! Oh and an honorable mention goes out to the Sephora bag that contained the cup.
Finally we drop Sydney off and come home. I so badly wanted to take a nap but two things happened that kept me from being able to relax. First I realized that my abscess tooth has really taken a toll on my house. In other words, I have not been on the kids about picking up their belongings and I can tell they have thoroughly enjoyed this perk of my discomfort. Secondly, Sarah wasn't having it!
I called a meeting with Emma and Abigail about their responsibilities around this house. You see I have a very complex system of earning things here. Chores are done, chore bucks are earned which in turn gives them "perks". One of those perks is cellphone ownership and I have found that this is a fabulous bargaining tool. We sit at the table with the Chore buck ledger and go over what chores they have actually done in the past week, which turned out to be very few. The lecture begins. As I begin to explain how irritated I am about this and that Sarah starts piping in, "WE HAVE HAD IT! Haven't we Mommy? We have just had it!" I can't help but laugh at this point but none-the-less the chores need to get done. I give them both a list of what they needed to do immediatly.
I headed to the couch only to followed by Sarah, who is obviously not going to be a rocket scientist. I laid down and every time I closed my eyes she would ask, "What are you doing Mommy?" to which I replied, "Resting". This went on for five minutes. Obivioulsy this dreamy nap wasn't in the cards and I got up and started dinner.
Shortly thereafter my Mom came to pick up all the girls to go VBS. WOOHOO!!!! It's quite in here and I love it! They will be home in an hour or so but I am going to enjoy it while I can. Anyway, I tried (this is the operative word here) to show her my tattoo because what the hello kitty, she knows I got one (Thanks Emma!). Do you know she wouldn't look at it? I said, "Really? Why do you hate them so much?" She refused to answer and I am sorry to let my family down...I tried to get an answer but she nothing. Well, that's not entirely true. She did say, "You all know how I feel about them!". Interesting because I thought me asking implied the question that I didn't. Oh well, you win some you lose some. I love my tattoo and that is what matters, right?
I started working on today's blog right after they left. I am just typing away thinking, "Is anyone really gonna think this shit-zu is funny besides me?" when my cell phone chirps telling me I have a text. It's one of my very good friends...she is having a crisis. You see my friend (who will be called Vodka to protect her identity - only because I think the Captain needs a break from me) Vodka, by no choice of her own has had to go without her favorite crackers for awhile. There is nothing worse than loving a certain kind of cracker or anything for that matter and then they stop selling them where you shop. You can go crazy trying to find those crackers...you look everywhere and can't find them. There is just no other cracker that satisfies you like that one. Well Vodka saw a commercial for the crackers she so desires and now she can't stop thinking about those flippin' crackers. She is going mad I tell you! It's all consuming and I know exaclty how she feels because they just put it right out there for you to see and then snatch it right up. I am not sure that my advice was helpful because I am a little unconventional...I told her to just eat some crackers! Any cracker will do at this point. If my original advice doesn't help her I don't know what will. I think my next suggestion will be for Vodka to plant her astronaut in the freezer like any decent vodka would!
So that's it for today..unless something earth shattering happens. Oh wait, one last thing - I found out just moments ago that I own a fishing pole! I didn't even know I liked fishing. WOW! You learn something new everyday. I think I will call her "Ole Bessie" I love her so.....
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
I decided before we even went that the three older girls could walk around by themselves since they all have cellphones. That and they are old enough to do so now. The littles and I went to "Kidspace" to hang out in the area designated for their age group. Upon entry they make you state your children's ages and give you a little slip of paper that you turn in when you exit. On this paper it says how many adults and how many "big kids" and how many "little kids" are in your group. If your child is going into first grade they are out casted into this little room with misc. toys and games. While I was hanging out watching the girls play, I got on facebook from my new cellphone and caught up my calendar. Then I got bored and I started thinking to myself, "What if I lose the slip of paper?, Will they let me have my kids?, What if I just took two other random kids?, How would they know? Could I get out of here with no kids at all?". Thank goodness my ADD kicked in and I moved on to another obsessive thinking pattern - I didn't take Ibuprofen for my mouth today. This line of thinking only came to surface because I realized I was in pain suddenly. Luckily for me, they had a vending machine stocked with all kinds of handy things in it! There were diapers, wipes, pads, tampons, Tyelonal, ADVIL, benadryl (just kidding) and some other things I can't remember. I only cared about the Advil.. I put my $2.25 in for one packet of two pills - I would have paid $5.00. I guess it was my lucky day because the machine mistakenly pushed out two packets!!! JACKPOT!
We met up with big girls, ate lunch and walked around for about another hour. The girls' seemed satisfied with our field trip and I really wanted to make a pit stop at Sephora to get a new lipstick since mine was ruined somehow - my guess is Sarah's new pal. We hit the mall and head towards home.
Now, I am going to be honest here and just tell you I have a very difficult time focusing when my kids talk to me. I tend to tune them out a great majority of the time. It's not that I don't want to hear them, its just irritating listening to them get to the point. By they time they get to their point I am making mental lists in my head about what I need to get accomplished that day or the next. For some reason today I listened to these three girls talk about their future. Apparently they are planning to all live together in a house, which Abigail is going to buy. Sydney will be responsible for all the other bills as well as cleaning said house. Emma, well she just has to buy groceries and read in her room. Sydney and Emma are going to be teachers. Abigail has higher aspirations - her plan is to own a store at Virginia Beach where she will sell beach towels, hermit crabs and salt water taffy. I am silently laughing to myself thinking how nice it must be to be a pre-teen.
We stopped at Sonic for "Happy Hour" which consisted of 5 strawberry slushies and 1 cherry limeaide. You figure out who's was who's. Sarah must have had her pink dinosaur in the SUV with her because somehow her foam cup managed to bust right in the middle of the cup. Not cracked people - The entire circumference of this cup was fractured! As you might have guessed this had a chain reaction. Sarah was now wearing her strawberry slushie. The only thing further I have to say about this is THANK GOD FOR LEATHER SEATS! Oh and an honorable mention goes out to the Sephora bag that contained the cup.
Finally we drop Sydney off and come home. I so badly wanted to take a nap but two things happened that kept me from being able to relax. First I realized that my abscess tooth has really taken a toll on my house. In other words, I have not been on the kids about picking up their belongings and I can tell they have thoroughly enjoyed this perk of my discomfort. Secondly, Sarah wasn't having it!
I called a meeting with Emma and Abigail about their responsibilities around this house. You see I have a very complex system of earning things here. Chores are done, chore bucks are earned which in turn gives them "perks". One of those perks is cellphone ownership and I have found that this is a fabulous bargaining tool. We sit at the table with the Chore buck ledger and go over what chores they have actually done in the past week, which turned out to be very few. The lecture begins. As I begin to explain how irritated I am about this and that Sarah starts piping in, "WE HAVE HAD IT! Haven't we Mommy? We have just had it!" I can't help but laugh at this point but none-the-less the chores need to get done. I give them both a list of what they needed to do immediatly.
I headed to the couch only to followed by Sarah, who is obviously not going to be a rocket scientist. I laid down and every time I closed my eyes she would ask, "What are you doing Mommy?" to which I replied, "Resting". This went on for five minutes. Obivioulsy this dreamy nap wasn't in the cards and I got up and started dinner.
Shortly thereafter my Mom came to pick up all the girls to go VBS. WOOHOO!!!! It's quite in here and I love it! They will be home in an hour or so but I am going to enjoy it while I can. Anyway, I tried (this is the operative word here) to show her my tattoo because what the hello kitty, she knows I got one (Thanks Emma!). Do you know she wouldn't look at it? I said, "Really? Why do you hate them so much?" She refused to answer and I am sorry to let my family down...I tried to get an answer but she nothing. Well, that's not entirely true. She did say, "You all know how I feel about them!". Interesting because I thought me asking implied the question that I didn't. Oh well, you win some you lose some. I love my tattoo and that is what matters, right?
I started working on today's blog right after they left. I am just typing away thinking, "Is anyone really gonna think this shit-zu is funny besides me?" when my cell phone chirps telling me I have a text. It's one of my very good friends...she is having a crisis. You see my friend (who will be called Vodka to protect her identity - only because I think the Captain needs a break from me) Vodka, by no choice of her own has had to go without her favorite crackers for awhile. There is nothing worse than loving a certain kind of cracker or anything for that matter and then they stop selling them where you shop. You can go crazy trying to find those crackers...you look everywhere and can't find them. There is just no other cracker that satisfies you like that one. Well Vodka saw a commercial for the crackers she so desires and now she can't stop thinking about those flippin' crackers. She is going mad I tell you! It's all consuming and I know exaclty how she feels because they just put it right out there for you to see and then snatch it right up. I am not sure that my advice was helpful because I am a little unconventional...I told her to just eat some crackers! Any cracker will do at this point. If my original advice doesn't help her I don't know what will. I think my next suggestion will be for Vodka to plant her astronaut in the freezer like any decent vodka would!
So that's it for today..unless something earth shattering happens. Oh wait, one last thing - I found out just moments ago that I own a fishing pole! I didn't even know I liked fishing. WOW! You learn something new everyday. I think I will call her "Ole Bessie" I love her so.....
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Happy Birthday Hubby
You guessed it! Yesterday was my husband's birthday. I waited up for him last night thinking he would be home at his normal time but instead he worked overtime. I stayed up for nothing . It's not like there would have been any excitement because my face would not allow it. It was the gesture that would have been nice. Anyway, I am giving him his 5 minutes (perhaps less) minutes of fame: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SCOTT! Now that I think about it, I am not sure why I would even bother to wish him a happy birthday on here since he shows no real interest in the fact that I am even writing a blog. Thanks honey!
Lets just get down to business, shall we? Here is my account my day Saturday. I climbed over my pillow barriers and directly went to the mirror to check on my facial swelling. Still swollen but not nearly as bad as it was Friday. Once I realized that it was getting better I was able to focus on more important tasks. Right now I can't recall those tasks but I think I did some dishes and laundry. My father-in-law (HAPPY BIRTHDAY!) stopped by to pick up our old dining room table that had been taking up too much space in the garage. Of course, I had to move two skateboards, a mower, stroller, high chair, gas cans, trash cans, two scooters and Scott's police cruiser (the highlight of it all) so we could even get to the table. We loaded up the trailer with the table and chairs and then he sat and chatted for a few. As it turns out, those few minutes were a lot longer than I thought they were. I had to rush to get my shower, dress the two littles ones, curl Abigail's hair and get everyone in the car to get downtown for competition awards. Needless to say, we were late....again!
Awards started 45 minutes late and then lasted forever. Our competition team is small and competes on a recreational level so our part in the awards was minimal. In other words, the awards drug on and on. Bored isn't even a close enough descriptive for how I felt sitting there. Abigail and her duet partner got Gold and that was an improvement for them so way to go girls!
After the torture was over I dropped Abigail off to spend the night with her grandparents and headed home to spend all of 30 minutes with Scott on his birthday - Welcome to adulthood! Your birthdays are just another day as you get older and sometimes a day you wish would just skip right over you!
Went out with Natalie for some adult beverages, came home and passed out! How exciting is that?
Sunday, got up and of course I went straight to the mirror to check out facial swelling...almost back to normal. I only looked in the mirror 5 times today! That's progress right? Then ran to Target with Natalie and came home to get ready to go to Tim's and Scott's birthday cookout. The cookout was to start at 2 o'clock, 30 minutes away from where we live. I woke Scott up and got in the shower at 1 o'clock. Now mind you I still needed to go to Sam's Club to get a veggie tray and pick Emma up at my parent's house...Why am I always late for everything? Hmmmmm???? Who could say? We leave the house at 2 o'clock and no sooner than I pull out of the driveway I get a text from Emma, "WHERE YOU AT?" Seriously? Even my 11 year old is over my inability to be on time somewhere! However, this turned out to work in my favor because I had her ask one of my parents to meet me at Sam's Club (one less thing to do).
We are finally on our way but as soon as I turn on the main road out of town, all I can think about is Smoothie Brews, Smoothie Brews....I must stop at Smoothie Brews. Scott was on board luckily, so we stopped and I got my fix. However, there was a very familiar van in front of us at their drive thru. Low and behold it's Marc and Natalie! We all have a serious problem, I'm just sayin'! I swear Smoothie Brews puts something in their drinks to cause addictions. Can I just tell you that I have been working randomly at a budget for awhile now. When I put on paper the cost of my addiction I was shocked! One regular non-fat milkyway mocha with whip cream daily; $2.76. You do the math because I don't want to feel guilty stopping for coffee on my way to COSI tomorrow morning. FOCUS KRISSY....somehow Emily and Natalie ended up in my car and Scott and Olivia ended up in theirs. We get to Sam's Club and get Emma.
My Dad met me in the parking lot and proceeds to tell me that Emma purposely told my Mom about my new tattoo. Oh this is fantastic people! Now I am not afraid of my Mom necessarily but she is against untraditional piercings and tattoos. Quite honestly, you'd think she would just be immune to this kinda thing since my Dad, sister and brother all have tattoos. When I got my tattoo last year Abigail busted me out so I guess in all fairness, it was Emma's turn to sell her Mother down the river. I recently got my nose pierced and I just straight out told my Mom that I did it. Her response was "I thought you were a grown up!?!" Yup Mom I am and that is why I did it. May be if she had let me get my ears double pierced when I was a teenager I wouldn't be so wild and crazy now. No, it's not at all her fault I am having a mid-life crisis right now and it's making me want to be a little rebelious. The great thing about a mid-life crisis is you are a grown up and the trouble you get into is only limited by your imagination! No curfew or possibility of being grounded, am I right? Wow, I am off on a serious tangent now! Anyway, I told Emma, "Thanks a lot!" with a snotty teenager attitude - GOSH!
Arrival to cookout - 3:30pm, WOW, only an hour and a half late! We had a good time visiting with everyone. The kids were running around all over but occupied with activities that didn't include "Mom?, Mom?, Mom?" In my freetime I discovered my father-in-law had a bottle of Captain Morgan that was sitting there neglected and lonely. This was a serious offense in my opinion, so like any responsible adult would do I opened my best buddy and drank up. I even sang "You light Up My Life" to Mr Morgan.
Made a couple of stops on the way home: Emma's rubberbands for her braces had been left at my parents and then dropped off my favorite little babsysitter's cellphone to her. Now I am ready for bed because well, if you seriously just read all of this you should know that I am flippin' tired! Tomorrow is another day.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Lets just get down to business, shall we? Here is my account my day Saturday. I climbed over my pillow barriers and directly went to the mirror to check on my facial swelling. Still swollen but not nearly as bad as it was Friday. Once I realized that it was getting better I was able to focus on more important tasks. Right now I can't recall those tasks but I think I did some dishes and laundry. My father-in-law (HAPPY BIRTHDAY!) stopped by to pick up our old dining room table that had been taking up too much space in the garage. Of course, I had to move two skateboards, a mower, stroller, high chair, gas cans, trash cans, two scooters and Scott's police cruiser (the highlight of it all) so we could even get to the table. We loaded up the trailer with the table and chairs and then he sat and chatted for a few. As it turns out, those few minutes were a lot longer than I thought they were. I had to rush to get my shower, dress the two littles ones, curl Abigail's hair and get everyone in the car to get downtown for competition awards. Needless to say, we were late....again!
Awards started 45 minutes late and then lasted forever. Our competition team is small and competes on a recreational level so our part in the awards was minimal. In other words, the awards drug on and on. Bored isn't even a close enough descriptive for how I felt sitting there. Abigail and her duet partner got Gold and that was an improvement for them so way to go girls!
After the torture was over I dropped Abigail off to spend the night with her grandparents and headed home to spend all of 30 minutes with Scott on his birthday - Welcome to adulthood! Your birthdays are just another day as you get older and sometimes a day you wish would just skip right over you!
Went out with Natalie for some adult beverages, came home and passed out! How exciting is that?
Sunday, got up and of course I went straight to the mirror to check out facial swelling...almost back to normal. I only looked in the mirror 5 times today! That's progress right? Then ran to Target with Natalie and came home to get ready to go to Tim's and Scott's birthday cookout. The cookout was to start at 2 o'clock, 30 minutes away from where we live. I woke Scott up and got in the shower at 1 o'clock. Now mind you I still needed to go to Sam's Club to get a veggie tray and pick Emma up at my parent's house...Why am I always late for everything? Hmmmmm???? Who could say? We leave the house at 2 o'clock and no sooner than I pull out of the driveway I get a text from Emma, "WHERE YOU AT?" Seriously? Even my 11 year old is over my inability to be on time somewhere! However, this turned out to work in my favor because I had her ask one of my parents to meet me at Sam's Club (one less thing to do).
We are finally on our way but as soon as I turn on the main road out of town, all I can think about is Smoothie Brews, Smoothie Brews....I must stop at Smoothie Brews. Scott was on board luckily, so we stopped and I got my fix. However, there was a very familiar van in front of us at their drive thru. Low and behold it's Marc and Natalie! We all have a serious problem, I'm just sayin'! I swear Smoothie Brews puts something in their drinks to cause addictions. Can I just tell you that I have been working randomly at a budget for awhile now. When I put on paper the cost of my addiction I was shocked! One regular non-fat milkyway mocha with whip cream daily; $2.76. You do the math because I don't want to feel guilty stopping for coffee on my way to COSI tomorrow morning. FOCUS KRISSY....somehow Emily and Natalie ended up in my car and Scott and Olivia ended up in theirs. We get to Sam's Club and get Emma.
My Dad met me in the parking lot and proceeds to tell me that Emma purposely told my Mom about my new tattoo. Oh this is fantastic people! Now I am not afraid of my Mom necessarily but she is against untraditional piercings and tattoos. Quite honestly, you'd think she would just be immune to this kinda thing since my Dad, sister and brother all have tattoos. When I got my tattoo last year Abigail busted me out so I guess in all fairness, it was Emma's turn to sell her Mother down the river. I recently got my nose pierced and I just straight out told my Mom that I did it. Her response was "I thought you were a grown up!?!" Yup Mom I am and that is why I did it. May be if she had let me get my ears double pierced when I was a teenager I wouldn't be so wild and crazy now. No, it's not at all her fault I am having a mid-life crisis right now and it's making me want to be a little rebelious. The great thing about a mid-life crisis is you are a grown up and the trouble you get into is only limited by your imagination! No curfew or possibility of being grounded, am I right? Wow, I am off on a serious tangent now! Anyway, I told Emma, "Thanks a lot!" with a snotty teenager attitude - GOSH!
Arrival to cookout - 3:30pm, WOW, only an hour and a half late! We had a good time visiting with everyone. The kids were running around all over but occupied with activities that didn't include "Mom?, Mom?, Mom?" In my freetime I discovered my father-in-law had a bottle of Captain Morgan that was sitting there neglected and lonely. This was a serious offense in my opinion, so like any responsible adult would do I opened my best buddy and drank up. I even sang "You light Up My Life" to Mr Morgan.
Made a couple of stops on the way home: Emma's rubberbands for her braces had been left at my parents and then dropped off my favorite little babsysitter's cellphone to her. Now I am ready for bed because well, if you seriously just read all of this you should know that I am flippin' tired! Tomorrow is another day.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Now....here's the rest of the story!
If I remember correctly - you have to know I re-read yesterday's blog to figure out where to start today. I can't remember if I had breakfast today let alone where I stopped in my story last night - I left off with getting ready for Abigail's dance competition.
While I ran to get my second round of antibiotics my sister graciously curled Abigail's hair for me. Thanks Sissy! Of course, I still had to do her make-up and make sure she actually had all of her necessary items for competition. Just in case you are unaware, if SHE forgot something, it will be MY fault. Here's the thing people, I am not what one would call vain in the sense that I am not into hair and make-up. Occassionally I will put on make-up to go out with my girlfriends but that's about it. How I have a daughter that is into something which requires hair, make-up, accessories and costumes is beyond me. Everytime I am doing her make-up I am thinking "What the hello kitty? I can barely do my own eyeliner!"
We get downtown late. I get her to where she needs to be and find myself and the little ones a place to sit. Now, I actually do enjoy the dance competitions, I am going to tell you why - I secretly wish that I was ballerina! I dance around the house all the time and my kids make fun of me. I just wish they could be more supportive of my dream! Seriously though these dance competitions can be quite entertaining on more than level. Yes these kids have some amazing talent but some of their dances are "WOW". You might see a group doing a beautiful lyrical dance and the next an upbeat jazz number. Sometimes, like today's performance, you will see one that makes you think, "What in God's name were these people thinking?"
Let me set the scene for you ; Age group - 11 - 13 year olds, Prop - large circular zebra print couch, Costumes - high heels, hot pink bikini covered with a ripped up, yeah, I don't know what you'd call it, cover over it. Music - Updated version of Locomotion. Do I need to continue describing this for you? The best way to tell you how inappropriate this dance was is to tell you that the family in front of us took their 12 year old son out of the auditorium until it was over. I waited until it was over to go to the bathroom to check out the swelling on my face. In any case, it would be over my dead body that my 11 year old daughter would participate in a dance like that - period.
After we were done with the competition we went over to The Spaghetti Warehouse because we were hungry. Why else does one go somewhere to eat? Also because I can not open my mouth more than 1/2 an inch and pasta is a "soft" food. In case you were wondering, The South Beach Diet is on the backburner until I can open my mouth again. In true form my little ones had to visit the bathroom several times while we were there which actually made me happy for once because it gave me a chance to look at my enlarged face - You know you just can't ignore something like that! What if my face got bigger? How would I know if I hadn't constantly checked on it?
As you know, we were back and forth to the bathroom several times. If someone could tell me why my five year od robbed me of the opportunity to check my facial swelling by peeing under the table I would greatly appreciate it! Quite frankly, it's just beyond my comprehension.
Finally home and my bestie Michelle came over to visit me. I warned her of my Elephant man look before she came over. What kind of friend would I be if I had not warned her? I think had she come over and noticed it herself it would have robbed me of the opportunity to obsess about it more. She was very sweet about it when she exclaimed, "MAN YOU WERE NOT KIDDING!" Of course I appreciated her confirmation of the situation. She is great and this is what I love about all my friends - they NEVER lie to make me feel better.
So in conclusion, she brought me a very cool jumbo magnet that says, "Quite Frankly, I don't give a shit!". I love it and her. Of course, while I was sitting here my three old brought it to me and asked what it said. I told her, "Quite frankly I dont' give a crap". Oh and in case you were wondering...My face is not back to it's normal size today but it is better...I have only had to look at it 67 times today!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
While I ran to get my second round of antibiotics my sister graciously curled Abigail's hair for me. Thanks Sissy! Of course, I still had to do her make-up and make sure she actually had all of her necessary items for competition. Just in case you are unaware, if SHE forgot something, it will be MY fault. Here's the thing people, I am not what one would call vain in the sense that I am not into hair and make-up. Occassionally I will put on make-up to go out with my girlfriends but that's about it. How I have a daughter that is into something which requires hair, make-up, accessories and costumes is beyond me. Everytime I am doing her make-up I am thinking "What the hello kitty? I can barely do my own eyeliner!"
We get downtown late. I get her to where she needs to be and find myself and the little ones a place to sit. Now, I actually do enjoy the dance competitions, I am going to tell you why - I secretly wish that I was ballerina! I dance around the house all the time and my kids make fun of me. I just wish they could be more supportive of my dream! Seriously though these dance competitions can be quite entertaining on more than level. Yes these kids have some amazing talent but some of their dances are "WOW". You might see a group doing a beautiful lyrical dance and the next an upbeat jazz number. Sometimes, like today's performance, you will see one that makes you think, "What in God's name were these people thinking?"
Let me set the scene for you ; Age group - 11 - 13 year olds, Prop - large circular zebra print couch, Costumes - high heels, hot pink bikini covered with a ripped up, yeah, I don't know what you'd call it, cover over it. Music - Updated version of Locomotion. Do I need to continue describing this for you? The best way to tell you how inappropriate this dance was is to tell you that the family in front of us took their 12 year old son out of the auditorium until it was over. I waited until it was over to go to the bathroom to check out the swelling on my face. In any case, it would be over my dead body that my 11 year old daughter would participate in a dance like that - period.
After we were done with the competition we went over to The Spaghetti Warehouse because we were hungry. Why else does one go somewhere to eat? Also because I can not open my mouth more than 1/2 an inch and pasta is a "soft" food. In case you were wondering, The South Beach Diet is on the backburner until I can open my mouth again. In true form my little ones had to visit the bathroom several times while we were there which actually made me happy for once because it gave me a chance to look at my enlarged face - You know you just can't ignore something like that! What if my face got bigger? How would I know if I hadn't constantly checked on it?
As you know, we were back and forth to the bathroom several times. If someone could tell me why my five year od robbed me of the opportunity to check my facial swelling by peeing under the table I would greatly appreciate it! Quite frankly, it's just beyond my comprehension.
Finally home and my bestie Michelle came over to visit me. I warned her of my Elephant man look before she came over. What kind of friend would I be if I had not warned her? I think had she come over and noticed it herself it would have robbed me of the opportunity to obsess about it more. She was very sweet about it when she exclaimed, "MAN YOU WERE NOT KIDDING!" Of course I appreciated her confirmation of the situation. She is great and this is what I love about all my friends - they NEVER lie to make me feel better.
So in conclusion, she brought me a very cool jumbo magnet that says, "Quite Frankly, I don't give a shit!". I love it and her. Of course, while I was sitting here my three old brought it to me and asked what it said. I told her, "Quite frankly I dont' give a crap". Oh and in case you were wondering...My face is not back to it's normal size today but it is better...I have only had to look at it 67 times today!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
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