I highly encourage all Mom's take a weekend off now and again! As you know, I took some overdue vacation time last weekend and went on a girls' trip to Virginia Beach last weekend with all my favorite gals. I can't tell you how relaxing it was nor can I tell you how much fun we had. However, I will do my best to describe within the parameters that have been given to me.
We were suppose to leave my house at approximately 3:00am on Friday morning and then pick up my sister and niece by 3:30am. Much to my surprise my friends are just as irresponsible as I am about being anywhere on time. Actually, I just wanted to say that, it's not entirely true! Michelle, Natalie and Jennifer were all here early and the real issue was hooking the trailer, I had borrowed from my brother, to the hitch on my Pilot. It took about 20 attempts of lifting and dropping the trailer onto the hitch before we realized that we needed to take the pin out of the trailer hook before we could even consider being successful at attaching it. After we finally figured that out, it took about five more attempts and presto we were ready to load the trailer. Loaded, bungee corded everything down and we were on our way to Tammy's house. We arrived there at about 4:00am, loaded their stuff onto the trailer and were ready to roll! It's now 5:30am, only two hours after I originally planned departure time.
Finally after several stops for potty breaks, gas, food and so on we arrived at our campsite around 3:30pm. We set up our tents (one tent for sleeping in and one for all of our clothing) and got everything situated. Once everything was good to go, we all headed to the beach with our chairs and watched a beautiful sunset - Worth every minute of our long trip there! We relaxed and enjoyed the evening on the beach. After our trip to the beach we headed back to camp and started a fire. I only lasted about 30 minutes around the fire and hit the sack - it was approx. 8:30pm when I went to bed. I didn't hear a sound after my head hit the pillow though Michelle told me the next morning that when she came to bed I sat up with my eyes wide open and she feared that I was going to punch her until I laid back down and passed out!
Saturday morning we all woke up bright and early. After having a little field trip for coffee, we all got ready and headed to Virginia Beach. We had a blast at the beach. The waves were big and the rip current was bad. So bad in fact they had red flags at all the lifeguard stations! We swam, rode and jumped big waves. Every once in awhile we crossed an imaginary line (which apparently didn't apply to surfers) and would get the whistle blown on us and have to move closer to the shore. We still don't know where that line was in the water but we did obey since none of us wanted to drown there.
After we were done swimming and laying out at the beach, we headed back to our campsite. Upon arrival I immediately started drinking as did several of my travel companions. We got cleaned up and left for our night out on the town. Our first destination, Harpoon Larry's. We all ordered seafood except for Natalie who had decided on a chicken sandwich. This restaraunt's first mistake was to put us beside the dry erase board with the days features and prices. Why was this a mistake you might ask? There are some things in life that just can't be ignored and one of those things is screwing around with the dry erase board. You wouldn't even believe the rock bottom prices to eat seafood at Harpoon Larry's! Natalie couldn't eat her sandwich because it was gross and told the waitress about it. The waitress then brought the manager over who was less than enthusiastic about being summoned to our table. She asked Natalie what was wrong with it. Natalie said, "It was disgusting!" and no kidding the manager said, "Can you be more descriptive?" Seriously? How does one give a better description of disgusting? In the end, she didn't have to pay for the disgusting sandwich and finally we were done with Harpoon Larry's.
Our next destination, Watermans. On the way there Jessica was playing D.J. and put on a song called "I am not a whore" by LMFAO. I am sure this is the one and only regret Jessie had on this trip. It's a very catchy tune and goes a little like this;
I AM NOT A WHORE
I AM NOT A WHORE
I AM NOT A WHORE (I am sure how you can see how we call began singing along)
I AM NOT A WHORE
I AM NOT A WHORE
I AM NOT A WHORE
But I like to do it!
Most girls I meet are quite savage
Always trying to grab up on my package
They say I look yummy and want a taste
But I'm a human not a sandwich
Sometimes I feel like L.L. Cool J
I need love not random bootay
Now, the horror part for Jessie comes in when you realize;
A) She is 24 and the rest of us are 30+.
B) We are stuck in massive traffic
C) The windows are down
D) We are all singing as loud as we can
Yup, can you just imagine being 24 years old, stuck in a traffic jam with five 30+ year old women screaming "I am not a whore!" at the top of their lungs? I can only imagine how horrifying this was for her. I have thought about apologizing but I decided against it. I mean what could I possibly say other than, "I was just following the Captain's orders?"
Watermans, Watermans.....I am pretty sure that they we are not welcome back there. This is not to say that we won't go back but I am 100% positive they have our pictures on a wall in the break area with a note stating if seen for us to be removed from premises immediately. First of all, when we got there we went out to the patio and tried to get over to the edge of it so we could see the band who was playing (Chicago). The patio was packed tight like sardines. It was insane and yet I couldn't resist the urge to push through the crowd. I get almost to the edge when I am stopped by a woman who looks at me and says, "This area is taken!". Taken? By Whom? It turns out that she is saving the area for two women she doesn't even know and will not let me pass. I have this infinite ability to keep my mouth shut, HA!, I couldn't do it, I looked right at her and said, "I didn't know you could save brick space!", turned and well turned around to my group. I repeated the story to them and then out of nowhere, the lady comes over to me and apologizes. Why is she apologizing to me? I guess I just have that effect on people. I have this gift of telling people to "f" off and they never even know what hit them. She told me I could move up there if I wanted. By this point I didn't and anyway Jessie had found us a table.
The table Jessie found had people all ready sitting at it but they told us we could sit there with them and have it when they were done. The guy said he was from Crotan Beach, which is right beside Virginia Beach and very exclusive. By looking at him I totally would have guessed him from Jersey or New York but what did I know? The lady accompanying him was from Russia. Mail order bride perhaps? I think so but there again, what do I know? She just looked and acted like she was a gold digger. They finally left and we were left to our own devices.....
Finally it was time to go back to the campsite but first things first, we had to get to the car. Somehow on our walk back Tammy and I got lost in the crowd from the rest of our group. I couldn't say for sure if this was their fault or ours. We are all pointing fingers at each other but I know one thing is for sure, Tammy had to pee and I made it my mission to find her a bathroom. As we were all ready left behind from our group, no one would miss us if we entered a random hotel and found their lieu. Now in my mind this was not a random hotel, I thought it was the Holiday Inn where I had stayed the year before - not the case. Honestly, I couldn't even tell you what hotel it was unless I was somehow was able to identify the heart shaped bush outside of it. That would even be a stretch because of our altered state. We found the bathroom and an air freshener and went back outside to the previously mentioned bush and had a seat. Surely, our girlfriends would come looking for us. Tammy and I had a great time talking to people, taking in the sights and cracking ourselves up while waiting for our rescuers. Michelle and Jennifer eventually stumbled across us and proceeded to make fun of us. Tammy and I could have cared less since we could entertain each other for countless hours if we had to! Jessie and Natalie showed up with the car and once again we headed back to the campsite.
More to come in another post.........
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
No comments:
Post a Comment