Installment Cuatro ~ Aftermath

Sorry for the slight delay in the Story of Jezebel and Ahab....A girl got caught up in world problems! Ya know, work, life, rotator cuff surgery, recovery and still recovering from it.  Now I have plenty of time to do nothing important and well, I know you all are waiting to hear the rest of the story.  The best part is, there is more to the story!

A couple days pass after Mother Theresa's visit, all was well at our house because we weren't the ones with the problem.  Alright, we did have a little problem, Jezebel apparently needed a refresher course in what is and is not appropriate cellphone etiquette.  We had a short and sweet conversation which consisted of the following; How stupid are you?  What message are you sending when you send something like this to a teenage boy......especially one with a snooping kinda of mother? I threw the bit in about his Mom because she knew his Mom was like this.  Conversation complete.  End of Story - For us anyway.

Ahab's story continued on account dear Mother Teresa was on a war path!  As I have previously stated, we don't condone what Jezebel did but we also know teens will be teens.  My interest for Ahab's continued imprisonment was based on the fact, he did nothing.  I don't recall mentioning this part of the equation, Jezebel readily admitted, he did not ask for her to send him any picture.  She was just feeling gracious I suppose - ha ha!  Mother Teresa clearly did not appreciate Jezebel's generosity.
Ahab's punishment consisted of the following;

1.  Confiscation of his iPhone which he paid for with his own money (more on this later)
2.  No longer permitted to ride with friend to school - must ride school bus
3.  Loss of personal freedoms until further notice

Now, I don't know about you but I, personally feel like this is overkill!  If you have at all read any of my previous musings, you might recall I am not big on grounding or "restrictions", as my Dad would lovingly call it.  Discipline must be fitting to the crime.  While we are discussing discipline, the whole point of it, in my humble opinion, is to teach.  It is easy to take things away, it is easy to ground your subject to the house, their room and restrict them from using things but at the end of a very long day - who the hell has the time or energy to oversee the punishment?  I surely don't! It is much easier for me to be creative and make them understand the error in judgment by speaking to them about the misfortunate event and helping them figure out how to make it right - Enough said!

As I said, a couple days had passed and then one evening as I had just slothed my tired self to bed, here comes Jezebel into my room with her phone in hand.  She begins to tell me it is Ahab, apparently he and Mother Teresa had some sort of disagreement, which ended with him taking off, running to Kroger, borrowing a stranger's phone and calling her.  Now she wants me to talk to him because she doesn't know what to do.  Well superfantastic! I am 100% sure I am not an expert in this field of parenting.  I take the phone from her and begin speaking with Ahab, who gives me a quick rundown of what happened.  I tell him to give us a minute, Jezebel and I will come get you.  Luckily we can spit on Kroger from our house and why he didn't just finish the trek here, I will never know.  Jezebel and I go to Kroger, pick the Ahab up.  When we arrive home, he recounts his great escape from the clutches of Mother Theresa.  Oddly enough she told him to get out and the boy did just that.  I am assuming she had imagined him sulking himself right back to his bedroom.  I have learned over the past six months, Mother Theresa parents with way too much emotion and knee jerk reactions.  I, personally, prefer a well thought out disciplinary action that sufficiently embarrasses and teaches a value lesson...to each their own I guess!

Now I have an escapee cuddling with my daughter on the couch, Deputy Dad texting me from upstairs telling me he can not stay and I am preparing a plate of cookies and milk for the runaway.  HAHAHA  If you believe I was preparing cookies and milk....you don't know me very well!  However, my first instinct was to hear the whole story and think about how I am going to deal with this.  Deputy Dad and I have very different thoughts on this kind of thing.  I am already embroidering a Christmas Stocking for the baby boy I never had and Scott is cleaning his shotgun and preparing for Mother Theresa's next move.  Realistically I knew the police would be showing up at my house at anytime and I being a genius knew I needed to get one step ahead of this situation.  But first, I am going to let Jezebel and Ahab hang out for awhile so I can think and Lord knows when he gets back in Mother Theresa's clutches his freedom is over.

After about an hour I decided the best route was to take him to the police station and drop him off.  First I gave him a talk about what to say because you never know what teenagers will say and even though I know he is a good kid, I wanted him to put himself in a position where he didn't look like an unruly delinquent; Let's face it, we don't really know how Mother Theresa is going to position herself when she files a report!

We set out for the police station and passed by his home on the way - sure enough the police are there.  We continue to the station.  Upon our arrival there is no one there, mind you we live in a small town and I guess they don't really need someone in there twenty-four hours.  I reminded him of our talk and how he was to tell the police he and his mom got into a tiff, she told him to get out but he didn't know where else to go.  Easy enough.  Jezebel and I head back home and no sooner than we had settled in the house, there was the knock.  I answer the door and invite the officer in and explain the situation.  I also tell him that Mother Theresa is bat shit crazy because, why not?  I told him where he could find Ahab and that was that.

Jezebel gave me updates on the situation as they happened.  She could only see him at school and school was only a couple weeks from letting out for the summer.  Mother Theresa had taken him to the juvenile department in our county and had him drug tested - he passed with flying colors, she picked up paperwork to file unruly juvenile charges on him and then put him on lock down.  Luckily, she never filed the unruly charges on him and quite frankly, any judge in his right mind would probably laugh at her for dragging a good student, who isn't on drugs, holds down a job and isn't out robbing, raping and pillaging the town.

Ahab wasn't allowed to see Jezebel for a couple weeks but before he left for his dad's for the summer, she did allow him to come over for about two hours one evening.  Ahab went to his dad's for about six weeks and I am sure it was such a relief for him to be able to simply breathe.

I do not understand Mother Theresa.  I do not understand her here or there, I do not understand her anywhere.  I would not understand her in a box.  I would not understand her with the help of a fox.  I would not understand in train.  I would not understand her in the rain.  I do not understand Mother Theresa.

Sincerely,
The Queen Of Insanity

I Can't Even!

Yup! That's right, I don't even know......it's 1:32am, I went to bed over an hour ago and I followed my usual routine; Go upstairs, brush my teeth, get in bed, play Candy Crush till I can't keep my eyes open anymore, turn it off, close my eyes.  However tonight when I went to bed a curious thing happened - I began to weep.  I was laying there trying to figure out how to do it quietly as to not wake my husband.  At first, the tears just started falling down my face and before I knew it, I had to sniff because my nose started running.  I finally decided it was just best to get up and cry somewhere else.  

Now, I am not typically a crier but apparently my tears needed to flow tonight. Perhaps to give me some sort of emotional release I wasn't mentally allowing myself to have.  The truth of the matter is, I knew I was stressed out and with good reason, but just didn't want to deal with it.  I know you are probably thinking this whole Jezebel, Ahab and Mother Teresa probably just pushed me over the edge but it was a great distraction.  The truth is there has been so much going on since March and I suppose tonight, for some reason, I couldn't hold it in any longer.

At the beginning of March, one evening I was sitting on the couch watching television - probably ID because what else would I be watching?  I was literally just sitting there and all of the sudden I felt something in my mouth.  What the hell?  I'll tell you what the hell - It was a crown from one of my teeth!  The damn thing just popped itself off with no rhyme or reason. The next day I go into the dentist and have it re cemented.  FOUR DAYS later, I am again sitting on the couch, watching what I am sure was ID, eating some popcorn and as I am chewing feel something a little too hard to be popcorn.  The exact opposite tooth from the one I had just had fixed, an old filling fell out.  Well great!  So I call my sister, who by no means could ever be considered compassionate, about the lost filling.  Let me just add here, my sister is a dental assistant and I think it must be like being a lawyer or a cop - people get in trouble and you are the first person they call.  She tells me she will see when I can come in and have it fixed.  The next day she calls me with some optional times, I schedule an appointment and then go to set up appointment.  

The filling I lost was pretty big and I had already sort of made up my mind if they couldn't just replace the filling, I was just going to have it pulled out.  After all, it was my very back molar and I am certainly not going to miss it.  As suspected, they basically said I would need a crown.  I have horrible luck where my teeth are concerned and I knew if I got a crown, it wouldn't be long before I would need a root canal and so I told my dentist, I think I want to have it pulled.  She quickly informed me, if I had it pulled I would also need to have the tooth above it pulled - long story short; she convinced me to let her put in a temporary filling to allow me time to "think" about what I really wanted to do.  A few days later, I called the oral surgeon to schedule the extractions.  Of course, as my luck would have it, they didn't have any appointments for about two weeks and I wanted them out asap.  My sister arranged for me to just have them pulled at her office.

The day arrives, I go in and get some laughing gas (highly recommend), shots and a short while later I am missing two teeth!  I am prone to swelling so they gave me an ice pack to hold to my cheek and I head out the door.  Ready to go home, I get in my car, chomping down on some gauze for the bleeding and have the ice pack on my face.  I get on the freeway and as I am on the on ramp to merge onto the second freeway I must take to get home, I hear this awful squealing that is seemingly coming from behind me.  I look in my rear view mirror and yup, there it is, this car is swerving all over the road and headed straight for my rear end!  I throw the ice pack to the passenger seat and brace myself for the hit that was surely coming....and then I was hit.  I sat there livid, in my car and just sitting there thinking "WHY? Why do I keep getting rear ended?  Why right now?  I JUST had two teeth pulled and here I am sitting on the on ramp hit!".  Grrrrrrrrrrrr!  After I got my wits about me, I called 911 and let them know about the accident.  I then hung up and called my husband, who kindly sent out one of his guys to check on me at the scene because he was stuck on a job.  It wasn't till the officer I knew got there, that I even got out of the car to assess the damage.  My bumper wasn't too bad and I was able to drive my car away but the hitter, yeah her car was not at all driveable.  The officer insisted I go to the ER and get checked out.  He followed me there, walked in with me and there was standing room only.  We went to the desk and were told it would be at least six hours before they would get to me, assuming no serious emergencies came in - NOT WAITING!  I wasn't all that sore at the moment.  Of course the next day, I was pretty sore but I went to work, my shoulder was bothering me pretty bad and after work I went to Urgent Care.  Urgent Care, what a joke but they diagnosed me with a shoulder contusion, whiplash and gave me some stupid rx's that clearly would not help my pain.

Since I was still pretty sore and I clearly wasn't going to get any relief from prescriptions, I gave my chiropractor a call.  I went for about a month which greatly helped my neck and back but did nothing for my shoulder, he sent me to an orthopedic doctor.  I was then sent to have an MRI which showed I have a full tear in my rotator cuff and just my luck - I need surgery to repair or have a lifetime of pain and discomfort.  Mind you, still no pain medicine is given to me!  Take Ibuprofen they say....okay great and since it doesn't really do much of anything for my pain or my stomach lining I am pretty much suffering through it every day, especially at night.  

But wait! There's more.....After about two weeks of having my teeth extracted, I realize the side of my tongue is all torn up and there is something pokey on the inside of my gum.  Yup!  I have a piece of bone fragment sticking out of the bottom of the gum where I had one of the teeth pulled and the same extraction isn't healing as it should.  Go back to the dentist, they manage to get the bone fragment out, I nearly pass out but live, am given an rx for antibiotics and then I remember on the other side where this whole mess started the recemented crown seems sharp in a couple places.  Guess what?  It now needs replaced because somehow it is cracked! 

In the meantime, one of our twins car's exhaust is jacked up and we have to take it the shop for repair....$300 later and it's good to go again.  Back to the dentist for a crown prep, get a temporary crown and a few days later our air conditioner goes out.  At first I didn't realize it because I had worked all day, had texted my older two kids and told them to all be dressed and ready when I got home because we were going shopping for summer clothes.  I walked in the door to change my clothes and said, "Man it's warm in here!" The kids agreed and we left.  By the time we got home it was hotter than Haiti's.  I send my husband a text about the air and he responds back, "Are you sure you or the kids didn't accidentally switch it to heat or off?"  No dear..I didn't already think of that!  I checked the breaker, I checked all kinds of things to no avail.  He gets home in the middle of the night and somehow gets it working, at least temporarily.  Low and behold it stops working again a day later.  

Then on Memorial Day, without air conditioning, we grilled out, Ahab was miraculously allowed over and as we sat at the dinner table eating our yummy steaks, my temporary crown falls the hell out!  COME ON ALREADY!!!!!!!  I. Can't. Even.  I worked all week and really had no time to go get the damn thing reattached - temporarily.  At this point, don't even care about the tooth but I do care about being hot.  We finally find someone on Tuesday to come out and look at the a/c - turns out some wire was all melted inside and some other part, which I can't remember because I don't care other than my house is cool again, at the tune of $309.00.

Thursday, the other twin is driving downtown to drop off her college course books back to the college and on her return the car she drives starts to become louder and louder.  As I walk in the door from work, she begins to tell me how loud it is and I should drive it.  I'll bite.  I get in the car, make it around the block and head back home - her exhaust clearly has issues.  Great! Two days...we made it two days.  Friday I call the auto repair shop to see if they can service her car - not till mid-next week. Well isn't that fantastic?  

Saturday I leave work and head home.  Come in the house, change and prepare to leave for my daughter and I's hair appointments.  I wanted to stop at this yard sale which had a very nice bike I was thinking of buying for one of my girls.  We leave the house and as we are driving around, I go to turn right and my steering wheel will barely turn!  NO THIS IS NOT HAPPENING TO ME RIGHT NOW!!!!!!  Somehow I manage to turn it, at the expense of my already sore shoulder, and get back home to switch to the one "good" car.  I run in, grab the keys, start said car and it is almost on E. Now, I have to run and fill up the tank to make it anywhere.......

Sometimes a girl just needs to catch a break.

Sincerely, 

The Queen of Insanity

Installment Tres....I wish I would have gone with Episodes....or Chapters - The Meeting

I am going to go out on a limb here and rather than instructing a cold or hot beverage today, just go grab yourself something from the liquor cabinet!  I'm going to need it to get through this post - Ha! I think I may suffer a little post traumatic stress reliving this meeting with Mother Teresa.

As you may recall, I just wanted to enjoy Napday.  It really is one of my very favorite days of the week.  We get up, Baby Daddy makes a delicious breakfast, which takes a good hour and we consume the fixin's. Clearly this is very tiresome for me, the waiting, the indulging and before you know it, NAPTIME! I generally wake up and do something - productive or not and then most of the time will go ahead and take another nap.  No, this does not effect my ability to sleep at night.  I require lots of sleep - I mean HELLO??? You read my blog.....I need my rest.  Now that we are all clear about my sleep needs, I had told Baby Daddy the dirt, told Jezebel Mother Teresa could come over later in the afternoon and hit the couch.  Ahhhhhhhh so comfy and then "BAM" Jezebel comes to my side and says, "Ahab's Mom wants to come over RIGHT NOW!".  Alright, this has gone way too far already!  FINE!  Tell her to come on over.......Y'all know at this point I am already done!

There it is, the knock on the door. Mother Teresa is standing there, arms crossed, mad as a hornet and poor Ahab, standing sheepishly behind her.  Baby Daddy answered the door, as I was NOT at all happy about the interruption of my pre-imagined sleep cycles for the day.  Baby Daddy opens the door and she follows into the kitchen area of our home.  Ahab takes a slow turn to the right and onto the couch where Jezebel was sitting and waiting for the greatest show on earth!  

I must stop right here and say, I do try my best to not be a judgmental person but I am human and the struggle is real my friends!  I am pretty sure I have mentioned at some point, I had amazing parents. They did the best with my sister, brother and I as they possibly could - we, mostly they, were no walk in the park.  We (THEY-hehehehe) were quite the rebellious creatures and for this, we owe our parents a debt of gratitude for allowing us to live.   Our parents were pretty strict and we were grounded A LOT.  Well, I can really only speak for myself since my brother and sister had moved out of the house by the time I was around 11 years old.  I find it hard to believe our parents changed tactics once they left the nest; but now that I think about it, it does coincide with the onset of my imprisonment.  I can say with the up most confidence, I was grounded, more often than not, from the moment I stepped foot into middle school until about the time I was a junior in high school - What can I say?  I was a slow learner!  Actually, as I grew a bit older, I learned to be way sneaker, more creative with tales about what I was going to be doing or where I was at (Nostalgia here: my best friend SUCKED at her tales) and my personal favorite - layering clothes to hide what I was really wearing.  The skills I acquired from being grounded??? Quite frankly, limitless.  For this reason, when I became a parent, I was determined to be different.  I took all the best parts from my upbringing and instilled them into my baby birds when they were little and as they grew older, I began to try something different - I actually talked to my kids about what life may try to throw at them in middle school, high school, boys, alcohol, drugs and in general, life.  I wanted for them, what I wished I had had as a child, which was parents who weren't afraid if they talked about things, things would happen.  I hold not one ounce of ill will toward my parents, I truly believe this is just how their generation parented.  All of this to say, Mother Teresa reminded me a lot of my parents and at some points in the following conversation you are about to read, I sorta felt like I was arguing with them.  

And so it begins...

Mother Teresa, arms crossed, scowling at us from across the island and then she "I guess we have some talking to do?"

*Just to set the scene:  The island is situated in the middle of the kitchen.  She and I are standing across from one another and Baby Daddy is standing along one of the short sides*

Moi:  "What exactly do you want to talk about" (sarcasm implied)

MT:  "I guess you know what's been going on?"

Moi:  "Sure do!  Jezebel filled me in..."

MT:  "I want to know what WE are going to do about it"

Moi:  "I am not sure what you mean by WE but WE don't think it's that big of a deal"

MT:  "Excuse me?"

Moi:  "Yeah, WE certainly don't condone this behavior on Snapchat from Jezebel! Not sure why "WE" all need to do something"

MT:  "I take this very seriously!  This IS child pornography!"

Moi:  "Whoa...whoa I think that is a bit of a stretch, don't you? *MT is shaking her heard head no* Furthermore, the only way it would possibly be considered child pornography is if YOUR son were to spread it around the Internet!"

MT:  :::Insert The Peanuts Teacher Voice Here::::
*I forget what she said here actually said but I looked to Baby Daddy and this is where the story gets real funny.

B.D:  First of all, the legal age of consent in Ohio is 16!  So they could be having sex all day long and there is NOTHING YOU (he points to her) can do about it, NOTHING SHE (he points to me) can do about it and NOTHING I can do about it! Secondly, it is perfectly legal for any woman to walk around topless in the State of Ohio.

*Let's be clear here, Ahab's Mom did not see ANY picture because it was a conversation she read between them on "Snapchat" so whatever she imagined was in the picture in question, I can not say for sure.  According to my sources; it wasn't even a full Monty shot!  In other words, Jezebel may have been seductive but not like some Hustler centerfold.  *WE* do not really know and quite honestly, if the worst thing she does is send a picture of herself wearing a bra, well alrighty then! Judge if you must but I was doing a lot worse at her age.

At this point I am so fired up, I can't even remember how badly I wanted to take a nap!

MT:  I just do not agree with that and I can't believe that you two are okay with this!  I have taken his phone and all his ability to get on the Internet...wahwahwahwaaaaaa

Moi:  Welp, you know what?  WE don't parent like you!  I see no reason to take her phone because she drives to school, she drives to dance, and we do not snoop through our kids stuff!

MT:  SO you are telling me that you are going to do nothing?

Moi:  I look over at Jezebel and Ahab and say, "Jezebel? Are you completely and totally humiliated right now?"  She replies, "YES!" I think ask, "Are you ever going to do something like this again?" She replies, "Probably not...............to Ahab!"  (Okay, it was just one of those parenting moments where you want to laugh hysterically at your child and beat them to death at the same time)  I turn back to Ahab's Mom and I said, "Well, there ya have it!  I can't think of anything more embarrassing than having everyone know what you did and here we all are having a conversation about it....lesson learned!

At this point she has a stunned look and looks over to Ahab and tells him it's time to go....The boy follows his mother's orders and comes to where she is now standing.  Things got kinda foggy for me at this point and I remember her saying something to the effect of how she does not trust her kids as far as she can throw them and we were naive to trust ours. Oh no she did NOT just question our parenting to our faces!

Baby Daddy, darts around the island and over to where she is standing and says to her, "If YOU do not trust YOUR kids, that is about your parenting not ours!" Again I sort of blacked out to their conversation because Ahab was mouthing to me "I am soooooo sorry" hahahahaha to which I responded loudly, "Don't apologize, this isn't your fault!"

The next thing you know, they are headed out the door and something moved me right behind them and out to my front porch.  As they got into the car I exclaimed, "In the future, if you have an issue with my daughter, you come to me!  Do NOT ever try to parent my daughter for me or question her about what goes on in our home because it is NOT your business!"

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and off they drove............

This is certainly not where this story ends and there is much more to tell but for now, I bid you farewell.

Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity

Installment Dos ~ Life Lessons

Today's installment is a little more involved and with this in mind, I would like to offer you a pregnant pause to grab yourself an ice cold or hot beverage, a snack - whatever floats your boat! And go.......

Clock's a ticking friends.........

Alrighty then, got everything you need?  Comfy?  Ready to continue this read about the life's and times, as the parent of teenagers?  Ready or not here we go.

I am going to start by quoting something my own Mother can be heard saying to anyone who has teenagers, "If you can get through the teen years, you can get through anything!".  I never realized until recently, just exactly what this meant. I could have been standing right beside my Mom, just a few short years ago, as those words flowed from her mouth, into some poor soul's ears and still been oblivious to the true meaning. Great news friends!  I am here today to spread the word...teenagers are their own rare breed of human beings and as a friendly reminder (as I am sure I have stated this before: NEVER say, "My kid would NEVER do that!"

Installment Dos

The Queen of Insanity's life was going along status quo: all the baby birds are going to school, going to their extra curricular activities, I am working, the husband is working, life was "going".  Then an interesting turn of events brought some real excitement into our lives.  Jezebel made a rookie mistake.

Jezebel comes from a good home.  She has been taught right from wrong, respect, and all of those important things you teach your children right out of the gate.

Here are some truths about teenagers:

1.  They do not believe or truly grasp the fact that you were once a teenager.
2.  They do not believe you when you tell them you know exactly how a situation will play out.
3.  They act as if they are listening, nod their sweet little heads, while thinking what an idiot you are.
4.  They have way more technology than we ever did as kids.

If you can debunk these "truths", you must have saints for children and keep them locked up in a basement or something.  My baby birds live in the real world and I do no shelter them.

It was a Saturday evening, after a long day, all my baby birds were tucked into their nests for the evening, my baby daddy had gotten called out to work and I was enjoying some peace and quiet with Discovery ID when I got a text from Jezebel;

"Mom? I am going to church with Ahab in the morning."
Me:  "You are? I thought you didn't feel good and are tired?"
Jezebel:  "I am tired and I don't feel good but Ahab asked me to go...."
Me:  "It's been a long week, can't you just tell Ahab you'll go next Sunday?"
Jezebel:  "No.  I already told him I was going and I want his Mom to like me!"
Me:  "Well, suit yourself!  I expect you to come home right after and rest."

Fast forward, it's now Sunday or as I like to call it, "Napday".  Jezebel arrives home and as she is walking up the driveway, I yell out to her, "How was church?".  She looked frazzled when I asked and guess who was right?  Winner Winner - Mom's the Winner!  *please pause while I put myself in check*  Jezebel comes up on the front porch, sits down at the table across from me, eyes fixed on the concrete and then looks up and says, "I have to tell you something.  I did something bad, but not real bad, like kinda bad but not REAL bad!"  As I sat there listening to her, my first thought was, "OMG I have watched too much Discovery ID! This child has gone off and buried a body with her friends somewhere and I have provided the education to her, we are both going to the pokey!"  Then I realize, she would definitely have called me in to help her - CRISIS AVERTED!  For real now, what could she have done?  I am snapped back into reality as she proceeds to tell me, "I know it was stupid, I should have known better but I am seventeen and I am going to do stupid stuff.".  I immediately knew exactly what she had done, on account of my psychic abilities, and I knew exactly what happened next. *please refer to Truth #4 above*  Without going in to great detail, Jezebel used technology,  Ahab is not up to par on the technological advances in deletion, Mother Teresa is obviously of relation to Sherlock Holmes and here I am....over here...see me waving??

We could all rush to judgment in this situation but let me remind you; no one is perfect, judge ye lest ye be judged, he who is without sin, may cast the first stone and we all make mistakes; In this instance, Jezebel was correct - She is seventeen and she is going to make stupid mistakes, even ones her mother warned her about.  *refer to Truth #3*

Here's the kicker, Mother Teresa would like insists on speaking to Baby Daddy and Myself, but mostly, Baby Daddy.  I am not entirely clear on why Mother Teresa thought Baby Daddy was her first and best option but she did.  What I came to understand as I am speaking with Jezebel is this blackmail from Mother Teresa had been going on for a few days.  Mother Teresa gave Jezebel some options, she is kind like that!

Option One:  You and Ahab break up
Option Two:  Tell your Dad or you and Ahab break up.
Option Three:  Tell your Dad or I will and you and Ahab break up

Anyone seeing a theme there? Pick Me! Pick Me!

It is all becoming very clear to me, Jezebel was hoping going to church would be her saving grace - in her sweet, little, naive mind she believed going to church with them would make everything copacetic.  Sorry baby bird, you made a rookie mistake. Attempting to ass kiss a person who threatens to rat you out is not going to be very effective.  Not to mention, you obviously missed the memo, we are always going to have your back.  Unless you become a thief, drug dealer/addict or anything in that genre...then you are on your own.  The car ride to and from church with Mother Teresa, the boyfriend and little brother of Ahab was quite fun for little Jezebel!  They played a couple games: "Mother Teresa's 20 Questions About Your Family!" and "Your Parent's Suck At Parenting!"
At our house we would call them "None of your Damn Business" and "WHAT THE H.E. Double Hockey Sticks did you say about OUR Parenting?" Who doesn't love a good game of "Oh No She Di-ent?"  Now my blood is boiling. I must inform Baby Daddy of what has transpired...sorry Jezebel, it is very important to Mother Teresa!

I proceeded in to the house, into the room where my baby daddy was watching tv, I am sure not it was nearly as exciting as Discovery ID, but you can't account for a man's weird addiction to sci-fi. Now, Baby Daddy was shocked but not surprised and said, "Why does she want to talk to us?".  Dude, I do not know but apparently she is adamant and we are going to comply.

Did I mention it was Sunday Napday? Man I just really, Really, REALLY wanted my nap - TEENAGERS!!!!!!!!!!

I hate to stop right here, but it is getting late and I need to get myself to bed,  Quite frankly, you should have expected this....I warned you!

Sincerely,

The Queen of Insanity



 

Like Sands Through The Hourglass...These are the days of my life with teenagers

I have been contemplating back and forth, back and forth and forth and back about how exactly I would blog this.  You see, one of our baby birds began dating this sweet boy, who'll we'll be calling "Ahab" to protect his identity - you will understand this choice of name as the blog progresses.   Ahab, has what I, The Queen of Insanity, would consider an incredibly zealous and overprotective parent.  It isn't often I find myself at a loss for words, in fact, rarely can I not think of something to say.  Okay, I don't necessarily think I am vklempt, so much as I am completely baffled.  How exactly does one process a real life encounter with someone who can't be reasoned with?  The story you are about to read is going to come in installments.  There is so much, far too much to blog about in one sitting and trust me, as you read each installment, you will understand.

Installment Uno ~ Jezebel and Ahab - Meet The Parents

A couple months or so ago, Jezebel came home from school and told me her best friend was given a phone number or gave her phone number to this cute boy named Ahab.  Jezebel was excited at the prospect of someone new to date.  Now, a rule we have as responsible parents - one or both of us have to meet said suitor.  Ahab came to our house first and met moi', as my baby daddy was off earning a living this particular evening.  Ahab seemed like a nice enough beau, though he was very quiet.  I am NOT quiet and quiet people freak me out! However, it was welcomed in this instance because I wasn't quite over the last breakup. I certainly didn't have it in me to "like" someone else.

*Words of advice:  If at all possible, do not talk to, like, or enjoy the company of any significant other your baby birds bring home - this can and should include any and all friends. Your baby birds will fight with their boy/friends and they will be plucked from your life, just-like-that!   You will have no recourse and any relationship you had with these "friends" must immediately cease.  Had anyone told me years ago I would be a silent victim of my offsprings "relationships gone wrong", I would never have believed it! True story.

Ahab had come here, which meant Jezebel had to go there.  I truly had no concerns about Jezebel going there to meet his Mom (Who will be referred to from here on out as Mother Teresa) and who I thought, at the time, was his step dad but later found out, is actually just her boyfriend.  Now, why would I ever question they would not instantly fall in love with my sweet, funny, kind, talented, beautiful baby bird?????  Sooooooo, whaaaa happened was.....I was wrong!  Mother Teresa didn't like her.  I didn't know this without absolute certainty until about a week later.  But let's face it, they are more than likely not in a lifetime commitment.  Something like a Lifetime Movie trailer YES!  OMG!!! If only you could hear my laughter right now - I don't care who you are, that's funny!  Anyway, Jezebel had the same vibe about Mother Teresa.

This concludes installment uno.

Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity

I know, I know.....just Shut it!

It has been well over a year, may be more like two since my last blog post.  I want you to know, first and foremost, not a day has gone by that I haven't thought, "OMG I totally need to blog about this!".  The truth of the matter is, The Queen of Insanity has been a busy bee.  My life is on the cusp of a straight jacket - true story!

Quite a bit has happened since my last musings were posted.  I am going to chronicle them for you in my special quick sarcastic fashion and then we are going to call it bygones and move along to present.  Get it? Got it? Good!

Exhibit(s)

A)  Mother, guidance counselor, educator, referee, life coach of four female children; ages 8, 11, 17, 17 (Those last two ages should be a reg flag alone)

B)  Started my own business, Queen Bee's Seams (Yes, please checkout my Facebook Page).  If it's any consolation, I suck at keeping up with that as well - haha

C)  I didn't think exhibits A and B were quite enough, so I got myself some outside employment.  I work at Starbucks as a Barista.  Well, if we are being honest here, I am more like the Queen of Customer Support.  Believe me, there will be lots to read regarding working at a coffee joint - My mantra has become, "Seriously people!?! It's JUST coffee".

D)  I am married to an overachiever, who discovered in the past year he had low testosterone, has since gotten that fixed and now I am married to an overachieving, teenage boy - YAY ME! Please note; "YAY ME" sarcasm at it's finest.

E)  Four examples were quite I enough I think because let's face it, y'all know I could make it all the way to Exhibit Z and begin again with A(a), A(b) so forth and so on.

I have shared with you my best four exhibits insanity excuses for being a shitake blogger and if you can't forgive and forget, that's on you.  However, if you choose to leave now, you will surely be missing out on some of my best work!  Actually, it could be pretty boring stuff; unless you are a living, breathing, human being because you all know I live quite the little fairy tale lifestyle!

Love,
The Queen Of Insanity

Student Drivers

Temporary Driver's Permits are a right of passage.  Temps are one of the steps of moving towards adulthood - breaking free from your dependence on your parents.  Most parents find this very stressful and yes, I am one of them. As you may have guessed, my twins have reached this point in life and have recently been given the privilege of obtaining theirs.

Quite frankly, I think I was more excited than them to go take the test than they were! I am sure the majority of parents dread their kids gaining this type of independence - I am NOT one of those.  If you have ever read my blog, you know just exactly how much time I spend in the car.  At this point, I am over it and ready to turn over some of the responsibility, even if it means I am home with out a car to drive. Okay that last sentence was a complete and total lie!  I can't imagine being stuck at home with no way to leave for an extended period of time but I might learn to live with it for an hour or two.  Anyway, we were on our way to the DMV and it occurred to me, what if one passes and one doesn't???  Crap!  I didn't even think about how I would deal with a situation like that.  Luckily, they both passed, we got their temps and two lovely "Student Driver" self cling stickers for the car window(s).  Guess what?  Those self proclaimed self cling stickers wouldn't stick to the car window!  The girls got a lecture that their temps and driver's license, when given, were a privilege and could be revoked by their father or I at any time until they were 18 years old *evil laugh*.  Oh and then there was one more thing, a paper for me.  This paper will need to be signed by myself or their father stating we drove with them at least fifty hours while they had their temps before they can get their actual license.

A day or two went by and I felt ready to tackle the first driving lesson.  I needed to pick Olivia up from a friends' after gymnastics anyway and Sarah wanted to come along. Abigail was the most eager so she hopped in the passenger seat and off we went to the high school parking lot.  We went over some of the basics of the car, adjusting mirrors and seats, where the lights were, turning signals and all that jazz.  She is ready to go.  We drove around the parking lot for a while and finally it was time to head on over to get Olivia.  I asked her if she felt comfortable enough to go on the open road and she said yes.  We decided we would stay on back roads for every one's safety.  As we turned out of the parking lot, I was still feeling pretty confident in my teaching ability.  After all, my girls have four wheelers, they have driven our vehicles short distances on our land - this is going to be easy. Or not.

She turned out on the road, proceeded to the stoplight - so far, so good.  We continue straight, go a little ways and I have to decide on the best route.  Now, we live in a rural area and there are lots of options, my option turned out not to be the best.  But as they say, all best laid plans......  Not to mention, it was dusk and rural.  Yeah, in hindsight, I must have had a screw loose this night.  Anyway, we turn on to Palmer Road and at first it's okay, it straight enough.  We travel a little ways and it's time for a turn - Okay not terrific but we are all alive.  Another turn - not great but it's okay she is just learning.  However, it is growing darker by the minute.  A sane person would say, lets pull over and I will drive the rest of the way, right?  Well we all know I am clearly not sane and thus let her continue on.  Sarah is being a pretty good sport, though I am sure she was getting nervous.

Alright we are now at 310 and she must turn right and immediately turn left - she does so and though her turns weren't great, we all survived!  What I forgot about this particular route was just exactly how curvy this road is.  As a seasoned driver you don't think about these sort of things because you know how to take curves....until you are in the passenger seat with a student driver, on a country road in the dark and it's too late.  Let's just say, we made it out alive but not without me grabbing the steering wheel and screeching from the backseat that went exactly like this:  OH MY GOSH!  MY HEART HURTS!!!  OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH!  MY HEART JUST EXPLODED! Followed by tears.  I am pretty sure that Sarah had a little panic attack.  I in turn was laughing so hard at Sarah's exclamations that I nearly peed my pants. We finally got to our destination, picked up Olivia and I drove back home.

A few days later, ya know, after I got my nerves back, I decided it was time for Emma's lesson.  Abigail wanted to come along to work on her turns, so once again we pile in to the car and head for the a local school which I had been told had a permanent student driver set up.  We arrived and I gave Emma the same tour of the vehicle that I had given to Abigail. I turned over the keys and we began to cruise the parking lot.  She did okay until we got to the cones.  At first, she maneuvered really well through the cones, in and out.  Great job Emma!  Now this time go the other direction.  Well we can't all be good at everything, right?  She demolished two cones and decided she was done.  Abigail drover us home.

What I learned from this experience is I am apparently a great teacher (minus my lapse in judgement on night driving on the first time out) for one child and a horrible teacher for the other.  Guess what Scott?  You get to teach Emma.  Honestly, he is much better equipped to teach Emma anyway!  She is in need of technical definitions.  I take no issue with waving the white flag and tapping out.  He took her a week later and she had no hesitation in telling me he was a MUCH better teacher than me.  It's okay, really, I do not mind one bit!  His nerves were shot and I welcomed him to the world of our children's driving education.  After all, there are just some areas of parenting that must be shared.

Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity

Catch Up

I know I am a totally irresponsible blogger.  I come and go as I please and don't update very often. My explanation is simple - I have a life outside of this computer.  If I hadn't got married at twenty, had four kids and put said kids in activities, I would have way more time to entertain. However, had I not done all of those crazy things, I would have nothing exciting to blog about, right?


To catch you all up, there have been more changes in this household since I last blogged.  I may or may not have already covered them but I am not going back to read over my past blogs to see.  This being said, I am sure my take on them now will be different than before, so sit back and enjoy my musings.


OPERATION CROCK POT RECAP - It is truly a great idea in theory.  I managed to complete, give or take, twenty-five meals.  There are some major flaws in this idea of pre-making meals as you will see below:

• Remembering you have labored in the kitchen to pre-make crock pot meals
• Remembering to pull one out of the freezer the night before
• Trying to pry one of the bags apart from the other stack of meals
• Remember to put them in crock pot the next morning
• Remember to turn crock pot on
• Convincing youngest child that eldest child is a liar, it tastes great!
• Cleaning crock pot over and over again (*note to self* buy liners for crock pot)

I am not saying its not fantastic to come home to a nice meal, there are a lot of factors to getting there.  I would probably do it again but find a better way to organize it.  As for the human child factor, their choice is to eat it or have nothing.  I am not a short order cook!  Be thankful, after all, there are starving children in China. 


Okay, I have to be honest, I said I wasn't going to go back and browse through my old blogs - I did. Confession complete.


Olivia is still loving her new gym.  I still love not working at the drug store.  Lots of things to love. But then there was just one more thing, dance.....


In the fall, Olivia and Abigail started taking ballet technique classes at a brand new studio.  This new studio is fantastic and complete with retired professional dancers, who now want to teach.  Both girls have learned so much and I definitely believe it is worth every penny it has cost.  However, with change there is always fall out.


Abigail, especially, has thrived in this new environment!  She has learned about new and different techniques. Her execution of the old has improved and she is happy there.  Originally this addition was merely meant to be a supplement.  It quickly became obvious this was in no way going to be a supplemental situation - she wanted it all the time.  She decided the following dance season that she would be moving dance studios all together. 


*Enter Drama - Stage Left*


As you can imagine, making a decision to leave a studio you have been at for several years is not easy -add in a teaspoon of teenage girl, one cup of women and what you have is the beginnings of a spicy disaster!  For the record, it is a dish best served cold!


Now I am going to put this right out there - Why yes women, I am throwing us all under the bus!"  Get over it.  I don't care who you are, if you are a woman you are 100% capable of drama, myself included.  In my flimsy defense, I have a whole lot of no patience for drama created outside of myself and therefore my reactions to drama are swift and not always well thought out.  While my swift reactions aren't always well thought out, I rarely have regrets about making them.  This is how I roll - sorry haters!


In the months building up to the complete change of studios, there was a lot of unspoken animosity. Then slowly but surely the animosity became verbal.  It was never specifically addressed just little jabs here and there.  One episode was about shoes.  Abigail had some money and wanted to buy herself a pair of lyrical shoes.  *Mom does touchdown dance*  I took her to the dance store and rather than buying the usual foot undies, she decided on a pair of crossover lyrical shoes (I can never remember what they are called). She decided on them because she knew she would eventually be moving to the new studio and wanted to be prepared.  I, being optimistic, suggested she take them with her to assist at old studio one night.  I suggested because she was excited about them and it wasn't her night to dance - in my mind, a good opportunity to get a feel for them.  Mom's out there, you do not always know best!  I know it's Mother's Day weekend and all but I can not even lie in hindsight and say it was the most brilliant idea I ever had.  Words were spoken to Abigail about the shoes.


Between January and the time we finally left, several other incidents happened.  I won't bore you with all the mundane details, just know my daughter was made to feel very uncomfortable on more than one occasion.  I will also say whether real or perceived, it could have all gone down very differently if Abigail had more life experience.  This is not the case, she is merely 15 years old and still learning how to deal with difficult situations.  I, however, am an adult with a lot of life experience and know how I handle these issues - head on.


Competition season began and we made it through all of the drama...well almost all of it.  The very last competition weekend came, they spicy disaster exploded and that was that.  Even before Abigail's last performance that weekend, I made a decision - one more thing and I am done.  Guess what?  Oh, I already gave it away, something else happened!  I was done.  My decision to leave did not come without pain.  Abigail lost her little students, whom she loved dearly and never got an opportunity to say goodbye too.  I lost a friend.


What Abigail has gained far out measures the losses.  It was incredibly difficult to watch her suffer the loss of comfortable and I am sure she thinks I am a total psycho now.  My hope is she understands now that while change is hard, it is a necessary evil to grow and to learn.  That everything worthwhile comes with a little bit of anguish and the end result can bring the greatest of accomplishments.  If she thinks I am a little psycho, that's okay too!  A good healthy fear of your Mom going off the rails sometimes is acceptable. 


In other news, my husband got promoted at work, we are 100% free of rental properties and life is a lot calmer around here.  I know this isn't great news for all of you, but for me, it's about damn time! Sarah is taking Irish Step Dancing at the new studio - it is hilarious but I think after a few more lessons, she is going to be amazing at it.  Emma is still a recluse, getting good grades - bragging opportunity here:  She even got an academic letter!  Oh and even more exciting for the twins, not so much the parental units, they got their temps.  That in and of itself requires a whole other post, will try to get to that later!


Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity

OPERATION CROCKPOT

In my spare time I peruse Facebook and Pinterest.  One can find out lots of great information on both sites. On Facebook, you can find out who went to the gym, who is having a good or bad day, who's sick, who's depressed and who has too much time on their hands.  You can literally find out anything on Facebook.  Pinterest, oh how do I love thee?  I love thee around the world and back again.  It is FABULOUS!  It is amazing how many ideas you can get there.

The other day I was on Facebook when I noticed some one's post about 40 meals in 4 hours.  Alright, I took a nibble and clicked on the link.  It seemed legit. The link took me to a site entitled:  Who Needs A Cape (just in case you are interested).  The very title intrigued me because you know who does need a cape?  ME!  I need a cape or a clone.  May be both, yes I need both!  A girl can dream.

This website claims you can make forty meals in four hours.  I am reading the plan, the recipes (all of which sound delicious) and decide to take the challenge.   How hard can it be to prepare forty crockpot meals, place them in freezer bags, seal and throw it in the freezer for later use.  I can do this!  I am going to be prepared to feed my family for at least forty days.  Yes!  I. AM. GONNA. ROCK. THIS! The great news, they have have it all set up for you.  Master Shopping List - Check.  Recipes - Check.  I went to bed excited about my shopping excursion the next morning.

The best laid plans....You can finish the rest of the that cliche statement.  At around 4:30am, I was awakened by a child calling my name. "Mom! Mom! MOMMY????"  This is when I think to myself, "Doesn't she see her Dad laying over there, peacefully sleeping?"  I digress.  I peel open my eye and see the littlest of the clan standing there and she begins to tell me she is sick.  Not only was she sick but she was "sick" downstairs by the couch, by the bathroom door, by the island and no worries, I have a bowl now.  My response, I am sorry honey....go lay down on the couch and back to sleep.  I was awoken again about an hour or so later by my husband, informing me Sarah had thrown up all over the place but no worries, he had cleaned it up.  Dang it!  I really thought I had dreamt the whole conversation.  After all, I have plans to go to the commissary (an hours drive) as soon as I got the littles on the school bus.  This should have been my first clue this wasn't going to turn out as amazing as I had first thought.

Since Sarah was going to be home with me all day, I decided no time like the present to get the kitchen ready for my project.  I tended to Sarah as needed.  She was overall, happy.  If I had to guess, it was the unlimited popsicles that kept her in positive spirits. She slept for about 2.5 hours with Mabel at her side.  When she finally woke, she seemed to be feeling a little better.  I determined I could still make the trip to the commissary when the twins got home, after all, her amazing (because he cleans up vomit) father would be home soon enough.

Even my best attempts to be organized are foiled by, none other than, myself.  Look, some people are naturally "together".  I, however, am not one of those people.  I had a master shopping list - it should be easy enough to find the items I need.  They were even separated and organized, primarily by topic; Dry ingredients, wet ingredients, meats, etc.  Helpful, right?  Nope, not for me.  The only way this would have been helpful to me is if they were listed by aisle, section and shelf number and even then, I probably still would have struggled.  Not to mention, the prices at the commissary are typically way cheaper than your average grocery store.  I am looking for one thing and then a dang squirrel runs through the aisle and Shut the front door! Brand name 28 ounce canned tomato sauce for 75 cents???  I need ten of those and NO WAY!  There are squirrels all over the commissary.

I am about half way done, my cart is full and lucky for me, a nice employee sees my overflowing cart and fetches me another.  Hello customer service.  She takes my full cart and puts it in a coral of sorts with a sign, "Don't bother, I'm still shopping" or something to this effect.  Finally I am finished and head to wrangle my other cart.  I am now in line, it's my turn and they direct me to register. If you have never shopped at a commissary, it is very military.  You shall not pick your own line, we will pick for you.  You shall not bag your own groceries, as we have supplied military spouses (mainly non english speaking) to bag them and you will tip them.  Anyway, I start unloading my groceries onto the conveyor belt I was directed to.  Alright, plenty of room to get a good start on emptying my cart.  Then it happens.  The lady in front of me whips out a stack of coupons two inches thick.  I am not even joking, it could have been three inches thick.  So it begins....beep...BEEEP!

"Oh dear! You needed two of those to use this coupon ma'am"
"Did I?  Honey (her husband), Can you run back and grab one more?"
Beep...Beep...BEEEEEEP!
"This coupon says you have to purchase X with that"
"Honey, Can you go grab xyz?"

This cycle continued over and over and over.  I waited in line for a good forty minutes while the cashier and customer dealt with all of her coupon drama.  Quite frankly, I should have been given a Nobel Peace Prize for not going completely and totally balistic.  Seriously.

It's finally my turn to check out and the cashier is visibly frustrated.  I am thinking to myself, "Why does Class 6 close so early?" and she began to ring up my items. The non-english speaking bagger, bagging away and I am watching my total go up, up and up....I can not admit how much I spent on this particular trip.  Let's just say my family will not be starving for at least forty days (So says Who Needs A Cape)

After I paid for my groceries, I went to get my car and pulled up to the loading area.  The non-english speaking bagger pushed my four carts over and started to load them into my trunk.  Since I had waited forever and a day to check out, I decided to help the process along and started to grab some of my bags.  The bagger kept cutting me off.  Now, they work for tips.  I get that.  I was in no way going to short her her tip.  I simply wanted the car loaded so I could make the trek home.  Finally the car was loaded, I handed her the tip - she thanked me (at least I think she thanked me) over and over.

The next day, was THE day.  I gathered all of the recipes, spices, veggies, meats, ziploc bags, colorful sharpies and my apron.  I was ready for Operation Crockpot.

I began putting the recipes together, filling the ziploc bags with them and placing them one after another.  I worked all morning.  About three hours in I had four bags done.  Uh.  Yeah.  Ummmm.  According to the website, I should have around thirty meals put together by now.  I had four! Let me count these bags again.  One, two, three and four.  Yup four bags done.  Well, four bags is more than none, right?  At this point I am completely exhausted from all the work, despite the fact that Miss Sarah was home again and helping me.  I needed to eat something and take a nap.  Who knew prepping meals could be so draining?

Eventually I woke and lucky for me the twins were home from school.  You know what that meant?  Child labor.  Abigail was more than willing, well sort of, and the littles were somewhat helpful.  Emma, she was not so helpful because she was nowhere to be found.  With the help of three children, we were able to knock out several more.  Forty?  Yeah, no! The following day, I put together a few more.  Forty?  You guessed it!  No.

Quite honestly, I am not sure if it is even possible to accomplish forty meals in four hours.  I had darn near a staff and wasn't able to accomplish forty meals in four hours! Operation Crockpot was still a success.  I have several meals prepared and work on more meals as I have time.  My advice to anyone thinking of pulling off their own Operation Crockpot - start small.

Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity

Guess Who's Back??

Holy cow! It's been so long since I have blogged, I had to come back to my original blog because I can't remember the new blog password!  Regardless, I am back from my blogging sabbatical and I have lots and lots of stuff to blog about it - Lucky for you my plans for the day were derailed, thanks to a stomach virus striking my youngest offspring overnight.


You may or may not remember my crazy schedule.  It left me with absolutely no personal time to reflect and/or share my insanity with you.  I couldn't complete a thought in my head let alone type it for your enjoyment.  Those days are somewhat over now and I hope to get you all caught up quickly.


About two months ago, I found some time to sit down on the couch and relax.  Within moments I had one child on the arm of the couch next to me, one on my lap and the other at my side (I am assuming Emma was in her room - as this is where she spends a great deal of her time).  I looked at each of them and thought to myself, "Dear God give me a break already!", I just wanted to sit there, lifeless on the couch and lose myself in Lifetime Movie Network.  I tried to shoo them away, no dice.  I tried threatening them with chores, still no dice.  I tried every trick I could think of...they sat firmly beside me.  They simply would not budge!  Finally I said, "DO YOU ALL HAVE TO SIT ON TOP OF ME? I NEED SOME PERSONAL SPACE!".  They all looked at me like I was crazy and then it flew out of the mouth of my babes, "But Mom we miss you!".  At that moment, I knew what I had to do.


Two weeks later, I turned in my immediate notice to CVS and that, my friends, was that.




After quitting my part-time job, there was something else that had been eating away at me for sometime - Olivia's gymnastics.  Not only did gymnastics eat away any and all free-time, it ate away the entire fabric of our lives.  Let's face it, shall we?  Olivia is eight years old.  Does an eight year old have to be in the gym five days, sixteen hours a week?  NO! Let me clarify, this was not the only reason I was miffed.  I was downright aggravated, pissed off if you will, at the lack of coaching my daughter was getting.  I knew in my heart she could do better.  I took a brave step and called another gym. 


When I told Olivia we were going to try out a new gym, she was a little shocked.  Her first response was, "Won't my coach be mad at me?".  My response, "Quite frankly Olivia, I don't give a damn!"  HA!  Just kidding, I said it in child friendly terms.  I proceeded to tell her all the perks of the new gym - First and foremost, more free time to play with her friends!  Which lead to her next response, "What about my friends?".  I replied in the nicest way possible, stating two things:  1.  We aren't paying for you to do gymnastics to make friends - you can get them for free at school! 2.  Okay that was kind of harsh....we will stay in contact with your friends from the gym, I promise.  As it turned out, several of her friends came with us - Problem solved!


Changing gyms was bittersweet.  We left behind many friends but in the end it was truly the best choice.  Olivia only has gymnastics three days a week now, unless we do a private.  She has some of her friends from the previous gym with her and is making new ones.  She had to go down a level in training (further explanation of my aggravation) but the benefit has been regaining success.  She has had two competitions since the move and each time her scores have improved immensely.  The best part of it has been seeing her happiness and love of gymnastics return.


The best part for me, personally, I have free-time again!  My kids are still close by me when I am home - I think they just like me and I am okay with that!


Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity

Electrical Mechanism Hostilities

Now that I have caught the attention of the United States Government, I would like to say you can simmer down!  This blog has nothing to do with any foreign or US terrorist activity - unless you consider my everyday appliances a national threat.  However, if you would like to step up and replace any of them, I am more than willing to negotiate!

I am pretty sure in past blogs, I have mentioned my gullible nature for advertising ploys.  You may recall my dishwasher debacle - I fell hook, line and sinker for Kelly Ripa's Electrolux advertisement's and purchased a dishwasher because of her seal of approval.  It turned out to be a huge mistake. I had to replace it within fifteen months, only to be limited to another Electrolux dishwasher! At this time, I am hand washing dishes 85% of the time because they are never sparkling clean. Anyway, it started from there and has only gotten worse.

I am not entirely sure why all of our electric appliances hate it here so much but at this point, I am ready to go old school and move to the country get a bucket and a wringer, build a spring house and cellar and call it a day! 

Here is the current list of broken appliances in my home (No worries, there is a story for each one)

1. Dishwasher
2. Refrigerator
3. Microwave
4. Garage Door Opener
5. Garbage Disposal
6. Straight Iron
7. Curling Iron
8. iPods (2)

We already covered the dishwasher, so we will move right along to the refrigerator.  One day I went over to get some ice for my drink and pushed the cup in to the space where the ice falls out and in to your cup.  Much to my dismay, nothing happened!  NOTHING!  I opened the door and pulled out the ice storage unit and there was nothing in it. I messed with all the buttons and knobs I could find and still nothing.  I called my husband, who checked the water line, pushed all the same buttons and knobs and still nothing.  Since we didn't really have any extra money to spend on something as important to me as ice, we dealt with it by purchasing ice cube trays.  I am not going to spend a whole lot of time on this ice maker situation but it must be said, ice cube trays in a house with four kids, not a fabulous combination!  I lived without manufactured ice for a good six months before I could no longer take it and found the money to replace the ice maker.  I installed it all by myself and had ice cubes by the days end. 

A few months later, we were sitting in our living room and watching television and the refrigerator started making this humming sound.  In all fairness, it was sort of melodic and I found myself soothed by it at first.  By the next day, the soothing stopped and it had become a loud, irritating, buzzing noise!  After some Google searching we came to realize it was due to a frozen back panel which had caused the fan to freeze up.  Great!  This is just what I need and within twenty-four hours, the entire fridge was inoperable. Luckily, we had little food, an upright freezer and a mini fridge in the garage where we were able to put our rations.  The fridge had to sit unplugged and empty for a couple days to thaw.  How much fun was this?  Oh so much fun!  As you are probably aware, you can not leave the doors closed when a refrigerator is not in use. How lovely to have the doors open all the time and instead of yelling at one's offspring to close the dag gone fridge doors, you are now yelling, "LEAVE THEM OPEN!".  Since having a refrigerator repair person come out is costly, we have opted to deal with the twenty-eight day cycle (it works great for about twenty-seven days and then the humming begins).  The great news is, I have even figured out how to get this cycle to work with my grocery shopping!

The microwave isn't a huge deal in the great scheme of things.  The only issue with it is the light underneath doesn't work.  I have changed the light bulb only to have it work for a moment and then BAM it's gone.  If you smack it just "so" sometimes it will provide a moments light but again, it has to be a direct, just "so" smack.  It just isn't worth the effort unless I want to take out some pent up hostility on something.

Moving right along, in the spring our garage door opener decided it can only pull the garage door up a quarter of the way, gives up and the door goes crashing down.  Fabulous, right?  Why yes it is fabulous!  In order to get my Pilot out of the garage I have to push the wall button and sprint across the garage floor, avoiding the children's shoes, rain boots, and whatever else has found itself a home along the garage wall, grab underneath the door and give it a little help to get past the quarter of the way hump and then and only then, will it finish the job a little past the halfway point.  It gets really frustrating if you don't make it to the door in time or if you let go before it reaches the magical spot where it can pull it again.  I love home ownership!

Are you feeling my pain yet?  One would think this would be the end of it!  There couldn't be more, could there?  Oh yes there could! I am "The Queen of Insanity"! How could I exist without some kind of constant crisis?

The Badger has gone off the prairie, I repeat, The Badger has gone off the prairie! "What is a Badger?", you may be asking.  Badger is the name of my garbage disposal - my sister's too.  In fact, my sister and I have a long standing joke about The Badger.  You do not have any idea how dependent you are on your garbage disposal until it is not working.  I have caught myself, on more than one occasion, dumping things into it, only to have to dig them right back out.  Can you say gross?  BLAH! 

My kids (no one has ever stepped forward taking responsibility) broke my very expensive, and obviously purchased prior to my downward financial spiral, FHI straight iron.  On a more positive note, I have learned to go with the flow of my natural curls.  Subsequently, someone broke Abigail's curling iron.  Karma?  I do not know, just sayin'.

In addition to all of this, two of my kids' iPod touches, spontaneously went to the dark side and will no longer do anything! I can't even blame the kids for this one because my own iPod did the very same thing and I gave it special care!  Personally, I think this is a plot of Apple's.  They suck you in with cool technology and right before they come out with something new, "Oh Snap!  My iPod isn't working!" Hmmmmmmm....suspicious, yes?

In closing, if by chance, you see a high speed chase on the news, following a bank heist, and there is a curly haired, crazy woman driving a silver Pilot with a stick family on the side, and other accolades of children stuck to it - it would be a safe bet to guess it's me, The Queen Insanity gone off the reservation!

Sincerely,
The Queen Of Insanity

How I Quit My Job

When I found out Olivia's gymnastics schedule was going to be five days a week this fall, I immediately panicked.  How in the world was I going to get her there four evenings and one Saturday afternoon, get Abigail and Sarah to dance, work and find anytime to say, breath?  After careful consideration, I decided to turn in my notice at my place of employment. 

I wrote my resignation, took it in and left it on my boss' desk.  I knew this would not go over well because she was on vacation for a few more days, however, a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.  I thought she would be back from vacation on Monday and she would have some time to "process" my letter.  You know what?  She didn't come back to work till Tuesday.  You know what else?  On Tuesdays (truck day), we are the only two people there from 6:00am till 8:00am!  I had no idea what I would be walking into this Tuesday morning.  I love my boss! She is non-stop, anxious, worst case scenario and matter of fact. Honestly, how can anyone not love the attention deficient?  Face it people, without those of us suffering from it, life would be a great big bore!  Anyway, I see her standing out front of the store when I pull into the parking lot.  My immediate thought is far too inappropriate to type and all of you know exactly what word popped into my head!  I decided it was time to get out and face the music.

As I approached her, she just smiled and we made idle conversation.  I start thinking about how to prolong the conversation and perhaps use my A.D.D. to confuse her A.D.D. into focusing on her Tail of The Dragon motorcycle adventure.  It worked for about two minutes until the rule "Twenty minutes of talking then a few minutes of silence" was apparently on A.D.D. time. "What are you doing to me?" she said.  Thoughts are racing through my mind now and I am trying to have a witty, yet comical comeback - I got nothing!  I start explaining that it's not the job, I actually like my job, it's just my kids schedules are becoming very demanding, and there are only so many hours in the day, my house is a disaster area (anyone who has been to my house knows this is an every day occurrence - I was not blessed my Mother's cleaning talents), Scott is working third shift now which makes it impossible for me to be here at 6:00am on a Tuesday morning with school starting and oh yeah, all of my kids are in school all day now, so if I found an evening to work, I would never see them!  Retail employment is great for flexibility in schedules but generally speaking, it is very difficult to have this sort of schedule if you expect to be able to make plans.  That was that, the conversation was over, well, at least for the next hour.

An hour later, as I predicted, she approached me again and asked if I would be willing to stay and work every other Sunday and Tuesday (truck day). Just to explain my "as I predicted" statement, at my work, it's kind of like the movie The Firm, once you are in, it's impossible to get out.  I explained to her my situation with our union, I owe them back dues and they are taking an incredible amount of money out of my part-time paycheck and I would be working to pay them.  It doesn't matter how many hours you work, they take the same amount.  She asked me to find out how much I still owed and how long it would take me to pay them off and I agreed to do so.

The next day I called the union (I have another name for them).  I still owed them $102.00!  At an additional $10 a pay, which is $20 a month...well you can do the math.  The union's lovely representative was not exactly helpful and assured me of all the great benefits I was getting by being a member of the union.  I begged to differ with her and I am pretty sure she hopes I drive off a cliff in a fiery crash. When I saw my boss for the first time after talking to them, I informed her of the bad news and there was just no way I could stay since I would essentially be making wooden nickels. 

My second to last day working was truck day.  At first we went about putting truck out and right before her scheduled district conference call she made me a possible offer to stay.  Her plan was to promote me to a shift manager, which would in turn give me a decent wage increase, thereby making up for the loss due to union dues and to work with my schedule even further.  There was just one issue, she had to get permission from the district manager, she planned to call him immediately following the conference call and so she did. Right before I was to leave, she came over and told me she had gotten his approval and to please think it over. 

I still work at CVS.


Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
*Or stupidity at this point*

Back To School Is Cool

I can not tell a lie,  I love when it's time for the kids to go back to school!  To me, it is better than Christmas.  For a variety of reason, one of which, the gift of peace and quiet is all mine.

This year I was even more excited than usual because it is the first year all four of my offspring will be in school all day, every day Monday through Friday.  You can call me heartless, mean or whatever you want but I am completely unaffected by their daily absence - COMPLETELY!  I laugh at all the posts I see from Mom's boohooing about their "baby" going off to kindergarten.  You know what?  We don't have all day kindergarten where we live so realistically they are gone for a maximum of three hours.  I can not miss you in three hours, I don't care who you are! 

The only thing I don't like about back to school time is having to buy supplies.  Nowadays, you have to buy everything under the sun for them to go to school, only for them to "share" because their items will be "community" supplies.  Community supplies? 

In my "community" we only have Crayola crayons not knock offs that don't color worth crap.  See?  This is what I spend my time worrying about!  Okay, I am buying the name brand crayons and not just because they are name brand but because they are the best crayons/markers/colored pencils out there. They are just better - period - Therefore, my children will bring Crayola to your classroom.  What really cuts me to the core is some parents are just plain cheap!  I don't know if they think they are punishing the teacher, the principal, the school district, or the whole establishment itself for making them buy school supplies in the first place.  However, your cheap ass is punishing MY child because you are too "thrifty" to spend an extra quarter on Crayola!!!!

In my "community"  I buy my own cleaning supplies and you buy your own cleaning supplies!  I do not feel like it is my responsibility to buy paper towels and expensive disinfecting antibacterial wipes for you to make my child wipe down this, that or the other.  Why do I pay two separate taxes to the school district?  Are your janitors not holding up their end of the bargain?  Seriously, fire them!  It isn't that difficult to grab a wash cloth with some good old fashioned soap and water to wash things off.  My child is still going to end up sick at some point during the year, so I fail to see the purpose.

Tissues, I have no issue with tissues.

Then there is shopping for clothing with those indecisive little creatures. 

One of my children would just prefer to wear the same few outfits over and over and over and over and over again - Bam, problem solved.  I can not convince her to go shopping with me.  I just bring home things and she proclaims her undying love for them.  LIES!  Either I will see it on her soon or I never see it again until she proclaims it is too small.

My youngest knows what she wants and you will not be allowed to forget until she has it in her possession.  She isn't rude or obnoxious about it.  No, not at all, she is just like an elephant, never forgets anything (well all of my kids are like that).

Another one of my children is just laid back and very sure of her likes and dislikes in clothes.  This child is totally screwed after one more size of underwear!  Unless by the grace of God The Children's Place comes out with a lingerie line for teens - Pray for this, will ya?

Then there is the one.....yes the one child who was put here on this earth simply to torture me.  For example, tonight we went shopping for tennis shoes and a few other random things.  But the shoe shopping! Oh my, my, my, my, MY! I love shoes!  Seriously and truly I love me some shoes. What I do not like is shoe shopping with any of my kids.  I am not sure why - perhaps I am entirely narcissistic about shoes.  Ha ha ha ha You got me, I am.  Anyway, I am pretty sure I said, "You have five minutes to make a decision" at least twenty times.  By the time we were finally done, I was wondering why they don't sell knives or guns of any kind in shoe stores!  When we were done at the shoe store, we hit Target to return her two day "used" backpack because it was broken.  I had to get a few things and she couldn't find just the perfect bag - therefore, it was my fault we took so long shopping! 

Sincerely,
The Queen Of Insanity

Life or Something Like It

It has been a good long time since I have last blogged.  I have tried many times to get on here and always get side-tracked but I am going to try and do better.

My life has been just a little insane since we last met. Quite honestly, I am not even sure that insane even begins to cover it - My days are a blur!  I work, I take Lu to gymnastics, I bring her home from gymnastics and repeat. On a rare occasion, I get the privilege of driving Abigail and/or Sarah to dance. I even let Lu skip gymnastics once *GASP* to go to her sisters' dance rehearsal.  I think her coach wanted to tar and feather me because when I told him she wouldn't be at practice, he seemed a bit irritated and confused when I said, "Her sisters' have dance rehearsal! You know, I have do have three other children!?!". 

A word of caution:  Competitive activities for children are a slippery slope!

Now I must qualify this cautionary statement - I do not mean your run of the mill little league activities or even school organized sports, band or what have you.  Mainly uniformed, traveling, paid for by the parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousin's, brother's, sister's last dog owner, virtually any one willing to buy; a candy bar, candle, hanging flower, discount card, gift card, ad spot, magazine subscription, 50/50 raffle ticket or eat at this restaurant tonight for our team to get X% of the profit kind of competitive activity. As my Dad would say, "It's slicker than snot on a door knob!" 

I really did used to have a life - now I have three out of four children participating in competitive activities (two dancers and one gymnast).  I often ask myself, "WHY????????? (throwing hands towards the heavens) WHY DO MY CHILDREN HAVE TALENT?"  Clearly they get this from me. This is my own damn fault. I say this because the fourth child is pretty much a bookworm-brainiac, who clearly did NOT, I repeat, DID NOT get that from me.  She is too smart for her own good.  This is not to say that I am dumb, I am smart in my own special way - a way that remains to be revealed.  All joking aside, it is so easy to get sucked into the competition world.  By nature, I am not competitive.  I will literally let someone beat me just because I am that nice - I don't want them to feel bad.  If it's important for them to win, it's important for me to let them.  If you fell for that, you should seek counseling immediately.  Well, the last part anyway, I am really not competitive.  I just don't have it within myself to worry about whether or not someone can beat me at something.  Nor do I care if your kid is faster, more flexible, can do more turns, flips, blah, blah, blah, blah.....doesn't matter to me so long as my kid is doing their best, having fun and being a team player. 

Yes, I am rambling, OKAY?  This is what insane people do - duh! 

Originally, I put my twins in dance when they were three years old. I was so excited to have them wear cute little costumes and prance around the stage.  Why?  Simply because I thought it was cute and isn't this what Queen Mums are suppose to do - Put their unsuspecting daughter's in tutu's for all the world to see? Yes!  After awhile, Emma said, "I can't do this anymore....There are books to be read!" I let her quit but Abigail carried on.  But wait!  I have Olivia, she will love to be like her big sister OR not. Olivia wasn't feeling the dancing scene and wanting to keep my kids active, I enrolled her in gymnastics. Before I knew what was happening, she was signed up on the competition team and there went my personal life. 

Today I spend all of my precious time at dance and gymnastics classes, rehearsals and competitions.  I have at the very least one nervous breakdown per competition season - you just can't help it.  Okay, okay, I can't help it!  It is stressful and it's hard not to get caught up in the emotions of it all.  No, "I" am not competitive but you always want to see your child do their best.  It sucks when they don't and they beat themselves up about it. Never mind the sacrifices of time and money you put in to it.  Sometimes, I just want to strangle them - yeah, I can be honest here.  This is my blog after all! 

The truth is, there is a lot to be learned from competitive arts/sports.  My girls are learning the fine art of winning and losing gracefully (In case you are wondering where I stand on this matter:  I do not believe in not keeping score.  You hippie parents are too much for me! That is not real life.  You are setting your children up for disaster).  My girls are learning to be team players and I am doing the world a favor by keeping my offspring from running the streets and reeking havoc on poor unsuspecting souls.  Trust and believe, it is a favor!

In a nutshell, I haven't been around because I haven't been around.

Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity

Coming or Going? I'm Not Sure

To all my beloved followers,

I must apologize for my lack of blogging over the past couple, or perhaps few, months.  Life has been insanely crazy and most days I'm not sure if I'm coming or going.  Lest we not forget the title of my blog, "The Insanity Chronicles" and friends, I am the Queen!

Let's try to get you up to speed with the insanity around here, shall we? As far as I can tell my last blog was in October, WOW!  I do suck and have let my court down!  I am very sorry and I hope that you can find it in your blessed little hearts to forgive me (I HATE a grudge holder - please don't make me hate you).  I feel pretty confident this blog will be more like a novel so you better just grab a drink and get cozy!

October:  Came and went, the kids went trick or treating. Abigail played the role of Dorothy, Emma was a Zombie, Olivia and Sarah were both witches.  Boy do I miss the days of sweet little Disney Princess costumes!  In some ways I am glad to see them go.  Why?  Well if you think about it, I mean really think about it, Snow White, Cinderella, Aurora and the likes all start off as broken, if you will, meet Mr Perfect, fall in love and ride off into the sunset.  Is this reality???  Hell no!  I don't want my daughters buying into this fantasy.  It's a set-up for a life of misery.  Jaded?  Why thank you, yes I am!

November:  In case you were unaware, there was a presidential election.  I, of course, was glad to see it come to an end despite the fact it put cold hard cash into our checking account.  It never ceases to amaze me how passionate people become over politics.  Seriously, I am not willing to lose friendships and family members because I don't share like opinions. In my humble ole opinion, each elected official brings their own screwed up agenda to office - It's four years, eight max and then some other idiot moves in with their version of what "We The People" need.

My bestie was the first to hit a numerical birthday that we all dread for the same reason - it's a milestone birthday.  However, I think she wore it well, alone, for the month and a half it took me to catch up.  On a positive note, it also marks thirty years of friendship for us and how many people can say that these days? No gift required!

November also brings the death of harmless turkeys all over, we cheerfully call it, Thanksgiving.  Thank you little turkeys for your yummy light and dark meat smothered in dressing and gravy.  YUM!  All kidding aside, I am not particularly fond of this holiday for various reasons. Do you really care what my various reasons are?  Bottom line, I'm going to tell you so deal with it!  I haven't been around for awhile, I have a lot to say. 

1.  Not a huge fan of turkey
     *Did the pilgrims not have access to a cow?  Why not fillet mignon?

2.  I despise pumpkin pie.

3.  Black Friday
     *This signifies assholes coming out of every nook and cranny to spread holiday cheer!

4.  Christmas wish lists
     *Because money just falls like manna from the sky????

5.  I work in retail
     *No comment needed*

December:  A lot of things happened in this month of my birth - A queen was born! End of story, right?  HA!

For starters, I began to see a therapist at the urging of my family physician.  Why?  Let me count thy reasons........For several years now I have been on medication for anxiety.  Anxious? Me? Doubtful! Anxiety medication never has had the desired effect - I never felt a true relief from what my doctor felt sure was ailing me.  I had told her and told her I didn't think I was anxious.  No, I felt pretty sure it was something else, something one of my children had been diagnosed with - Attention Deficit Disorder.  Shut the front door!  She had refused to treat me for it without my seeking the educated opinion of a licensed shrink.  I had delayed this for at least a year because the last thing I want to do in my 42.7 seconds of free time is sit down on a couch and spill my guts about how disorganized and scatterbrained I am.  What I finally decided was this, my family has suffered me long enough.  You may be thinking, "Dear Queen, we all feel like this sometimes....scatterbrained, disorganized and a little bit lost!" I assure you, my level of chaos is like a constant hurricane. 

It took two appointments for her to determine without a doubt, I was certifiably suffering from A.D.D.  At the first appointment we just talked about why I was there and family history.  She gave me a 128 question test to fill out at my own pace over two weeks. The questions were yes or no and she assured me it was "OKAY" to just do a few at a time.  I thought, "Easy, piece of cake, this will be a ten minute test, worse case scenario - fifteen minutes.  Are you sitting down?  I finished the test the morning I was supposed to be turning it in.  Not because it was hard or it required a lot of thought or effort - it took me two weeks because I have it - I have the A.D.D.!!!! Truth be told, the questions had me in stitches.  I would tell you some of them but I don't have a copy of it anymore.  Just know that what you find annoying in some people, they find hilarious about themselves simply because it is so ridiculous.  As if some Christmas miracle had occurred my doctor prescribed me Adderal on Christmas Eve. 

You might assume the above mentioned was the end of December, you would be mistaken.  There is more, always more where I am concerned.  We took on three new residents at our abode.  It's the Insanity people, I can't control it!  May be it's the A.D.D. no one can say for sure!

The first new resident is Woody. He is the sweetest, cutest boxer ever!  I am pretty sure I failed to mention before my sweet little Lilly passed away unexpectedly in late November.  This left a huge hole in my heart.  She was my little companion.  If you don't have a dog or even if you do - you totally take for granted your love for them! I may call my dogs, especially Mabel, every name in the book but I love them all dearly.  Back to Woody now, he was abandoned at the old dog pound in Columbus by a spiteful man.  I am grateful though because had this man had a heart, I wouldn't have Woody now.  He has been a great addition to our family and like Lilly - he loves me the best!

The other two residents are humans - we are an equal opportunity facility after all!  They came to live with us after my friend decided there were irreconcilable differences in her marriage.  It happens!  Those damn Disney Princesses strike again....happily ever after is for the naive.  Don't jump me about this - I am completely entitled to have an opinion.  Sometimes things just don't work out and it takes bravery to admit it's time to make your own happily ever after!  You may also be thinking, "Girl, you have lost your mind!" but the joke is on you, I lost mine a long long long time ago! 

The truth is, it hasn't been a hard transition.  I entirely understand the whole "sister-wife" theory!  It's fantastic having another "Mom" in the house.  In the words of the Wonder Pets, "What's gonna work? Team WORK!"  I have an extra set of hands around here to help clean, fold laundry, do dishes, chauffeur the kids and a whole list of other perks.  We don't share the King of the house - just in case you were wondering!  All in all, I think everyone here is happy with all the new residents. 

January Oh January:  The King of our homestead made some big changes.  He took a promotion (which to me doesn't seem like a promotion at all)  at work.  This required a decision in two hours.  They called and offered him a position as a Corporal in the jail.  Much to my surprise, he accepted it and was promoted the very next day!  I went with him to the ceremony, along with several other K9 officers.  We stood in the back whispering amongst ourselves about this so-called promotion until it was time for him to get his new stripes. I was honored to move to the front of the room and place these new stripes on his uniform along with his new badge.  Let me clarify my discord about this promotion to Corporal. 

First of all, we have to give up Mira.  Despite the fact she ate an entire sectional couch to show her dissatisfaction with our choice to leave her alone, we kind of love her.  She probably has a couple more weeks here with us, not sure about the time frame but it will be a sad day when we have to say goodbye to her. 

Secondly, the take home cruiser had to be turned in to the department. Goodbye free ride to work - Hello gas station!

Lastly, different work hours for the mister.  He is now a first shift worker.  Yup, 7am to 3pm.  My first inclination was to dread the idea he would be home EVERY night.  No more control of the remote control, no more free time alone in the evenings and a whole list of negatives.  Before you judge me, let me further explain alright?  We have been married almost 20 years and in those 20 years he has only ever worked 1st shift during training periods at work.  The kids and I are not accustomed to him being "around".  This was going to throw a huge wrench in our existence!  As it turns out, I hate this new shift for an entirely different reason.  I NEVER see him now.  Who'd a thunk it?  Not me! Between the kids activities and my working part-time, we just don't really get to spend time together anymore.  It has become apparent to me I was irritated for all the wrong reasons.  It's true, hindsight is 20/20. 

Other than all of the above mentioned, we are busy as ever running to dance, gymnastics and me working but we're plugging away at this thing called life and I wouldn't change it if I could.  I am just sorry that you all have to suffer without my regular blogging.  I do the best I can.

Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity