I can not tell a lie, I love when it's time for the kids to go back to school! To me, it is better than Christmas. For a variety of reason, one of which, the gift of peace and quiet is all mine.
This year I was even more excited than usual because it is the first year all four of my offspring will be in school all day, every day Monday through Friday. You can call me heartless, mean or whatever you want but I am completely unaffected by their daily absence - COMPLETELY! I laugh at all the posts I see from Mom's boohooing about their "baby" going off to kindergarten. You know what? We don't have all day kindergarten where we live so realistically they are gone for a maximum of three hours. I can not miss you in three hours, I don't care who you are!
The only thing I don't like about back to school time is having to buy supplies. Nowadays, you have to buy everything under the sun for them to go to school, only for them to "share" because their items will be "community" supplies. Community supplies?
In my "community" we only have Crayola crayons not knock offs that don't color worth crap. See? This is what I spend my time worrying about! Okay, I am buying the name brand crayons and not just because they are name brand but because they are the best crayons/markers/colored pencils out there. They are just better - period - Therefore, my children will bring Crayola to your classroom. What really cuts me to the core is some parents are just plain cheap! I don't know if they think they are punishing the teacher, the principal, the school district, or the whole establishment itself for making them buy school supplies in the first place. However, your cheap ass is punishing MY child because you are too "thrifty" to spend an extra quarter on Crayola!!!!
In my "community" I buy my own cleaning supplies and you buy your own cleaning supplies! I do not feel like it is my responsibility to buy paper towels and expensive disinfecting antibacterial wipes for you to make my child wipe down this, that or the other. Why do I pay two separate taxes to the school district? Are your janitors not holding up their end of the bargain? Seriously, fire them! It isn't that difficult to grab a wash cloth with some good old fashioned soap and water to wash things off. My child is still going to end up sick at some point during the year, so I fail to see the purpose.
Tissues, I have no issue with tissues.
Then there is shopping for clothing with those indecisive little creatures.
One of my children would just prefer to wear the same few outfits over and over and over and over and over again - Bam, problem solved. I can not convince her to go shopping with me. I just bring home things and she proclaims her undying love for them. LIES! Either I will see it on her soon or I never see it again until she proclaims it is too small.
My youngest knows what she wants and you will not be allowed to forget until she has it in her possession. She isn't rude or obnoxious about it. No, not at all, she is just like an elephant, never forgets anything (well all of my kids are like that).
Another one of my children is just laid back and very sure of her likes and dislikes in clothes. This child is totally screwed after one more size of underwear! Unless by the grace of God The Children's Place comes out with a lingerie line for teens - Pray for this, will ya?
Then there is the one.....yes the one child who was put here on this earth simply to torture me. For example, tonight we went shopping for tennis shoes and a few other random things. But the shoe shopping! Oh my, my, my, my, MY! I love shoes! Seriously and truly I love me some shoes. What I do not like is shoe shopping with any of my kids. I am not sure why - perhaps I am entirely narcissistic about shoes. Ha ha ha ha You got me, I am. Anyway, I am pretty sure I said, "You have five minutes to make a decision" at least twenty times. By the time we were finally done, I was wondering why they don't sell knives or guns of any kind in shoe stores! When we were done at the shoe store, we hit Target to return her two day "used" backpack because it was broken. I had to get a few things and she couldn't find just the perfect bag - therefore, it was my fault we took so long shopping!
Sincerely,
The Queen Of Insanity
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