Latex Allergies are NOT funny (WARNING TMI)

As you know, Emma and Abigail turned twelve on Wednesday.  We had an intimate party of immediate family only.  We served pizza, cake and key lime pie and of course, the girls' got presents.  There was just one issue at the party; I made the mistake of purchasing one mylar balloon and eleven latex balloons for each of them. If you don't already know, I am allergic to latex.  It was probably stupid of me to think I could outwit my allergy but I thought this once, I would make the sacrifice for my girls. Turns out I was wrong!

When I tell people I am allergic to latex they immediately start laughing.  The very first thing that pops into everyone's mind is condoms (which leads me to believe everyone I run into is perverted)!  Without fail every single person laughs as soon as I tell them about my allergy.  Ironically, the way I discovered I was allergic was going through infertility treatment while trying to conceive Emma and Abigail.  You see when you are going through treatments, almost every single appointment you are given a trans vaginal ultrasound. And what do they use on the ultrasound wand? Latex condoms.  After every appointment I would become extremely itchy and would have swelling down below.  After several visits, we came to the conclusion I was apparently allergic to latex.  From this point on I have tried to avoid latex.

Back to the party, I tried to be cautious about my exposure.  When I brought the balloons home, I immediately put them upstairs in Emma's room as to minimize my time around them.  Before the party started I gave them their balloons by sending them to retrieve them and told them they could do as they wished with them but to remember to keep them away from me.  They were very good about keeping them together and away from anywhere I would come in direct contact with them. 

With the party in full swing, my father-in-law, who is apparently extremely forgetful, decides to cut some of the balloons down and proceeds to give them to Ryan, Olivia, Sarah and Emily.  Now, I am not opposed to the children enjoying themselves and running around like crazy little fools; but what I am completely against is them running around with an allergen that could seriously send me into anaphylatic shock!  I tried to grin and bear it but before you know it, I was hacking and could feel my throat restricting.  I turned to Scott and told him where my epipen was, just in case, and he looked at me like I was insane.  May be he wants me dead? Anyway, it didn't kill me but it certainly played a number on my ability to breath with ease and put pressure on my sinuses.  This reaction in turn put pressure on my abscess tooth!

Thursday was a horribly miserable day for me.  Luckily, my dentist called in antibiotics for my tooth and I drugged up on whatever pain killer I could find. I was never so happy to see bedtime as I was that night!  I was dead asleep and woke up in excruciating pain at 2am and was up until 4am.  The best part of it all, besides taking a serious pain killer, was when Scott came home from work at 3am and evidently thought I had "waited" up for him!  Seriously!?!  He kept saying, "You coming up to bed? HUH?  You coming?"  Dude, you are sadly mistaken if you think I am "coming up to bed" with you.  Just yesterday you were wishing me dead by not caring about where my epipen was and now you want me to "come up to bed" with you?  Men, aren't they dandy?

Just so you know, latex allergies are actually very serious.  There are so many things that contain latex that you don't even think about, like band aides and certain balls, for instance.  Which actually just gave me a great idea! Sorry Scott, I can't come to bed with you because your balls could possibly contain latex!  HA!  I crack myself up!  Seriously though, I can't even get a flu shot because the type of syringes they use to administer them contain latex.  It's not a laughing matter my friends!

Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity