Bitch Blog

Yes, you read that right!  This is in fact going to be a bitch blog today!  I am feeling bitchy and I need to get it out somewhere. Unfortunately, you are my audience.  Sorry about your luck.  Of course, I could state the obvious which is you could stop reading right now but I bet you will be able to relate.  I will at the very least try to make it humorous.

I think China (and other similar countries might be onto something) has been on to something for quite sometime in regards to children.  A few things about this country stand out in my mind and I am going to share them with you in the following paragraphs.

*FYI: I am not following the "rules" in my writing today either.*

The first thing that really stands out in my mind is that on average, China's children spend 8.6 hours a day at school, with some spending 12 hours a day in the classroom.  What parent couldn't appreciate those long school days?  That doesn't even count the amount of time that they have to spend on homework and possible music lessons, etc.  Here in the United States, our children go to school an average of 6.5 to 7 hours a day.  Is it any wonder we are behind other countries in education?  I don't know if they go to school year round there but I am a huge supporter of that movement.

Next is their opinion about child labor.  Get out there, get a job in a sweat shop and pull your weight around here when you aren't in school!  I heard on television the other day, it is estimated that it will cost parents $250,000 to raise one child to adulthood.  I suck at math but let me work this problem out for you, k? I have four children and on an average each of  these children will cost me $250,000;
4 x $250,000.00 = $1,000,000.00!  YIKES!  The real question here is should I add in interest for all of the things that I have had to charge because I all ready spent all my cash on them? Really, if that were the case, we might as well call it $2,000,000.00!  GET A JOB KIDS!

Finally, limitation of offspring.  In China, you are only allowed to have two children.  It makes no difference if you have two boys, two girls or one of each - The choice is yours which ones you keep!  However, it is important to know that boys are considered to be far superior to girls in China.  What would this mean to someone like me who has been blessed (or cursed) with four girls?  Who would I have kept or stuck in an orphanage so I could try again for a boy? I wonder if you can take them on a trial basis? I could keep two girls until they turn into brats, turn them in and try again for a boy?  I couldn't say for sure but I do know one thing, two kids are a lot easier than four kids. 

By now, you are probably asking yourself, "Where is this coming from?" and wondering if I have fallen off my rocker!  The answer is simple, I am worn out from these kids! No one warned me how much work they would be or how much money I would have to spend to supply their basic needs; let alone their wants!  Kids are ungrateful and they don't care about your feelings or sacrifices.  Two things brought this on today.  The first of which was me getting up (all ready feeling like shit no thanks to an abscess tooth that I can't do anything about until January 1st) and taking a look around my messy house.  I threatened them all with taking away the things they love.  For the big kids this was their electronics, IE; cellphones, nook, camera, computer and anything that ran on batteries.  For the little ones, it was the threat of taking away all of their toys.

Abigail responded fairly quickly to my order of getting the house picked up.  Honestly, this probably had nothing to do with the possibility of losing anything.  Abigail by nature is all about order!  She likes things to be organized and predictable.  Emma on the other hand, she could care less about anything being in its place.  She is the polar opposite of Abigail in this respect.  Emma is...well...there is just no nice way to say lazy! Her room could be considered a bio hazard.  No worries about losing her either, your just follow her path of discarded belongings and it will lead you directly to her.  Shoot, one time I came close to finding her between couch cushions!  Anyway, I put them to work around the house and continued to work on my cleaning.  Eventually I decided to take a smoke break and Emma followed me outside to tell me what Abigail had said about me.  She was probably also trying to get out of working! Emma comes out on to the deck and proceeds to tell me Abigail had said that I was probably getting ready to start my period! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  Is this what 12 year olds are really like?  I must be getting ready to have my period because I am disgusted by their lack of work ethic?  I didn't bother to say anything to Abigail because quite frankly, what would be the point? 

Olivia and Sarah come with their own challenges in the cleaning area.  Number one on their list of issues is lack of focus.  They are just not able to focus at the task at hand for more than a few minutes.  I normally try to work around this problem in creative ways but today I feel like crap and just want the toys picked up and put away.  My threat to them was to get rid of all the toys if they aren't picked up.  Here is how the conversation went with Sarah:

Me: I want you two to go downstairs and pick up your toys.
Olivia and Sarah: Okay Mommy
Me: I mean it, I am going to take a shower and when I get done they had better be picked up!
Olivia and Sarah: Okay Mommy
Me: I am serious girls!  If they are not picked up, I am going to pack them all up and take them away.
Olivia: Okay Mommy (Olivia is an agreeable child)
Sarah: Welllll, just take them away then Mommy!
Me: Pardon me?
Sarah: *dead silence*
Olivia quickly vacates the area (she is also not stupid)
Me: What did you say to me Sarah? (because I thought may be I was hearing things)
Sarah: Take them away Mommy!
Me:  You can yourself a seat in timeout and when the timer goes off you may go clean!
Sarah: CRYING

Now I would love to tell you that any of this was effective but it would be a bold faced lie. I took a shower and the mess was unmoved.  If I were feeling more motivated I would have immediately gone downstairs as promised and packed it all up.  However, as I think I mentioned I feel like crap today so I instead gave them another opportunity to succeed.  The timer has been set for 30 minutes and then I am seriously going to stick to my word.  I am over the toys, twelve years of toys is too much for any one person to bear! 

In hindsight, I should have entitled this blog, "The Ways of the World! Installment #1"

Sincerely,
The Queen on Insanity