Catch Up

I know I am a totally irresponsible blogger.  I come and go as I please and don't update very often. My explanation is simple - I have a life outside of this computer.  If I hadn't got married at twenty, had four kids and put said kids in activities, I would have way more time to entertain. However, had I not done all of those crazy things, I would have nothing exciting to blog about, right?


To catch you all up, there have been more changes in this household since I last blogged.  I may or may not have already covered them but I am not going back to read over my past blogs to see.  This being said, I am sure my take on them now will be different than before, so sit back and enjoy my musings.


OPERATION CROCK POT RECAP - It is truly a great idea in theory.  I managed to complete, give or take, twenty-five meals.  There are some major flaws in this idea of pre-making meals as you will see below:

• Remembering you have labored in the kitchen to pre-make crock pot meals
• Remembering to pull one out of the freezer the night before
• Trying to pry one of the bags apart from the other stack of meals
• Remember to put them in crock pot the next morning
• Remember to turn crock pot on
• Convincing youngest child that eldest child is a liar, it tastes great!
• Cleaning crock pot over and over again (*note to self* buy liners for crock pot)

I am not saying its not fantastic to come home to a nice meal, there are a lot of factors to getting there.  I would probably do it again but find a better way to organize it.  As for the human child factor, their choice is to eat it or have nothing.  I am not a short order cook!  Be thankful, after all, there are starving children in China. 


Okay, I have to be honest, I said I wasn't going to go back and browse through my old blogs - I did. Confession complete.


Olivia is still loving her new gym.  I still love not working at the drug store.  Lots of things to love. But then there was just one more thing, dance.....


In the fall, Olivia and Abigail started taking ballet technique classes at a brand new studio.  This new studio is fantastic and complete with retired professional dancers, who now want to teach.  Both girls have learned so much and I definitely believe it is worth every penny it has cost.  However, with change there is always fall out.


Abigail, especially, has thrived in this new environment!  She has learned about new and different techniques. Her execution of the old has improved and she is happy there.  Originally this addition was merely meant to be a supplement.  It quickly became obvious this was in no way going to be a supplemental situation - she wanted it all the time.  She decided the following dance season that she would be moving dance studios all together. 


*Enter Drama - Stage Left*


As you can imagine, making a decision to leave a studio you have been at for several years is not easy -add in a teaspoon of teenage girl, one cup of women and what you have is the beginnings of a spicy disaster!  For the record, it is a dish best served cold!


Now I am going to put this right out there - Why yes women, I am throwing us all under the bus!"  Get over it.  I don't care who you are, if you are a woman you are 100% capable of drama, myself included.  In my flimsy defense, I have a whole lot of no patience for drama created outside of myself and therefore my reactions to drama are swift and not always well thought out.  While my swift reactions aren't always well thought out, I rarely have regrets about making them.  This is how I roll - sorry haters!


In the months building up to the complete change of studios, there was a lot of unspoken animosity. Then slowly but surely the animosity became verbal.  It was never specifically addressed just little jabs here and there.  One episode was about shoes.  Abigail had some money and wanted to buy herself a pair of lyrical shoes.  *Mom does touchdown dance*  I took her to the dance store and rather than buying the usual foot undies, she decided on a pair of crossover lyrical shoes (I can never remember what they are called). She decided on them because she knew she would eventually be moving to the new studio and wanted to be prepared.  I, being optimistic, suggested she take them with her to assist at old studio one night.  I suggested because she was excited about them and it wasn't her night to dance - in my mind, a good opportunity to get a feel for them.  Mom's out there, you do not always know best!  I know it's Mother's Day weekend and all but I can not even lie in hindsight and say it was the most brilliant idea I ever had.  Words were spoken to Abigail about the shoes.


Between January and the time we finally left, several other incidents happened.  I won't bore you with all the mundane details, just know my daughter was made to feel very uncomfortable on more than one occasion.  I will also say whether real or perceived, it could have all gone down very differently if Abigail had more life experience.  This is not the case, she is merely 15 years old and still learning how to deal with difficult situations.  I, however, am an adult with a lot of life experience and know how I handle these issues - head on.


Competition season began and we made it through all of the drama...well almost all of it.  The very last competition weekend came, they spicy disaster exploded and that was that.  Even before Abigail's last performance that weekend, I made a decision - one more thing and I am done.  Guess what?  Oh, I already gave it away, something else happened!  I was done.  My decision to leave did not come without pain.  Abigail lost her little students, whom she loved dearly and never got an opportunity to say goodbye too.  I lost a friend.


What Abigail has gained far out measures the losses.  It was incredibly difficult to watch her suffer the loss of comfortable and I am sure she thinks I am a total psycho now.  My hope is she understands now that while change is hard, it is a necessary evil to grow and to learn.  That everything worthwhile comes with a little bit of anguish and the end result can bring the greatest of accomplishments.  If she thinks I am a little psycho, that's okay too!  A good healthy fear of your Mom going off the rails sometimes is acceptable. 


In other news, my husband got promoted at work, we are 100% free of rental properties and life is a lot calmer around here.  I know this isn't great news for all of you, but for me, it's about damn time! Sarah is taking Irish Step Dancing at the new studio - it is hilarious but I think after a few more lessons, she is going to be amazing at it.  Emma is still a recluse, getting good grades - bragging opportunity here:  She even got an academic letter!  Oh and even more exciting for the twins, not so much the parental units, they got their temps.  That in and of itself requires a whole other post, will try to get to that later!


Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity

OPERATION CROCKPOT

In my spare time I peruse Facebook and Pinterest.  One can find out lots of great information on both sites. On Facebook, you can find out who went to the gym, who is having a good or bad day, who's sick, who's depressed and who has too much time on their hands.  You can literally find out anything on Facebook.  Pinterest, oh how do I love thee?  I love thee around the world and back again.  It is FABULOUS!  It is amazing how many ideas you can get there.

The other day I was on Facebook when I noticed some one's post about 40 meals in 4 hours.  Alright, I took a nibble and clicked on the link.  It seemed legit. The link took me to a site entitled:  Who Needs A Cape (just in case you are interested).  The very title intrigued me because you know who does need a cape?  ME!  I need a cape or a clone.  May be both, yes I need both!  A girl can dream.

This website claims you can make forty meals in four hours.  I am reading the plan, the recipes (all of which sound delicious) and decide to take the challenge.   How hard can it be to prepare forty crockpot meals, place them in freezer bags, seal and throw it in the freezer for later use.  I can do this!  I am going to be prepared to feed my family for at least forty days.  Yes!  I. AM. GONNA. ROCK. THIS! The great news, they have have it all set up for you.  Master Shopping List - Check.  Recipes - Check.  I went to bed excited about my shopping excursion the next morning.

The best laid plans....You can finish the rest of the that cliche statement.  At around 4:30am, I was awakened by a child calling my name. "Mom! Mom! MOMMY????"  This is when I think to myself, "Doesn't she see her Dad laying over there, peacefully sleeping?"  I digress.  I peel open my eye and see the littlest of the clan standing there and she begins to tell me she is sick.  Not only was she sick but she was "sick" downstairs by the couch, by the bathroom door, by the island and no worries, I have a bowl now.  My response, I am sorry honey....go lay down on the couch and back to sleep.  I was awoken again about an hour or so later by my husband, informing me Sarah had thrown up all over the place but no worries, he had cleaned it up.  Dang it!  I really thought I had dreamt the whole conversation.  After all, I have plans to go to the commissary (an hours drive) as soon as I got the littles on the school bus.  This should have been my first clue this wasn't going to turn out as amazing as I had first thought.

Since Sarah was going to be home with me all day, I decided no time like the present to get the kitchen ready for my project.  I tended to Sarah as needed.  She was overall, happy.  If I had to guess, it was the unlimited popsicles that kept her in positive spirits. She slept for about 2.5 hours with Mabel at her side.  When she finally woke, she seemed to be feeling a little better.  I determined I could still make the trip to the commissary when the twins got home, after all, her amazing (because he cleans up vomit) father would be home soon enough.

Even my best attempts to be organized are foiled by, none other than, myself.  Look, some people are naturally "together".  I, however, am not one of those people.  I had a master shopping list - it should be easy enough to find the items I need.  They were even separated and organized, primarily by topic; Dry ingredients, wet ingredients, meats, etc.  Helpful, right?  Nope, not for me.  The only way this would have been helpful to me is if they were listed by aisle, section and shelf number and even then, I probably still would have struggled.  Not to mention, the prices at the commissary are typically way cheaper than your average grocery store.  I am looking for one thing and then a dang squirrel runs through the aisle and Shut the front door! Brand name 28 ounce canned tomato sauce for 75 cents???  I need ten of those and NO WAY!  There are squirrels all over the commissary.

I am about half way done, my cart is full and lucky for me, a nice employee sees my overflowing cart and fetches me another.  Hello customer service.  She takes my full cart and puts it in a coral of sorts with a sign, "Don't bother, I'm still shopping" or something to this effect.  Finally I am finished and head to wrangle my other cart.  I am now in line, it's my turn and they direct me to register. If you have never shopped at a commissary, it is very military.  You shall not pick your own line, we will pick for you.  You shall not bag your own groceries, as we have supplied military spouses (mainly non english speaking) to bag them and you will tip them.  Anyway, I start unloading my groceries onto the conveyor belt I was directed to.  Alright, plenty of room to get a good start on emptying my cart.  Then it happens.  The lady in front of me whips out a stack of coupons two inches thick.  I am not even joking, it could have been three inches thick.  So it begins....beep...BEEEP!

"Oh dear! You needed two of those to use this coupon ma'am"
"Did I?  Honey (her husband), Can you run back and grab one more?"
Beep...Beep...BEEEEEEP!
"This coupon says you have to purchase X with that"
"Honey, Can you go grab xyz?"

This cycle continued over and over and over.  I waited in line for a good forty minutes while the cashier and customer dealt with all of her coupon drama.  Quite frankly, I should have been given a Nobel Peace Prize for not going completely and totally balistic.  Seriously.

It's finally my turn to check out and the cashier is visibly frustrated.  I am thinking to myself, "Why does Class 6 close so early?" and she began to ring up my items. The non-english speaking bagger, bagging away and I am watching my total go up, up and up....I can not admit how much I spent on this particular trip.  Let's just say my family will not be starving for at least forty days (So says Who Needs A Cape)

After I paid for my groceries, I went to get my car and pulled up to the loading area.  The non-english speaking bagger pushed my four carts over and started to load them into my trunk.  Since I had waited forever and a day to check out, I decided to help the process along and started to grab some of my bags.  The bagger kept cutting me off.  Now, they work for tips.  I get that.  I was in no way going to short her her tip.  I simply wanted the car loaded so I could make the trek home.  Finally the car was loaded, I handed her the tip - she thanked me (at least I think she thanked me) over and over.

The next day, was THE day.  I gathered all of the recipes, spices, veggies, meats, ziploc bags, colorful sharpies and my apron.  I was ready for Operation Crockpot.

I began putting the recipes together, filling the ziploc bags with them and placing them one after another.  I worked all morning.  About three hours in I had four bags done.  Uh.  Yeah.  Ummmm.  According to the website, I should have around thirty meals put together by now.  I had four! Let me count these bags again.  One, two, three and four.  Yup four bags done.  Well, four bags is more than none, right?  At this point I am completely exhausted from all the work, despite the fact that Miss Sarah was home again and helping me.  I needed to eat something and take a nap.  Who knew prepping meals could be so draining?

Eventually I woke and lucky for me the twins were home from school.  You know what that meant?  Child labor.  Abigail was more than willing, well sort of, and the littles were somewhat helpful.  Emma, she was not so helpful because she was nowhere to be found.  With the help of three children, we were able to knock out several more.  Forty?  Yeah, no! The following day, I put together a few more.  Forty?  You guessed it!  No.

Quite honestly, I am not sure if it is even possible to accomplish forty meals in four hours.  I had darn near a staff and wasn't able to accomplish forty meals in four hours! Operation Crockpot was still a success.  I have several meals prepared and work on more meals as I have time.  My advice to anyone thinking of pulling off their own Operation Crockpot - start small.

Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity

Guess Who's Back??

Holy cow! It's been so long since I have blogged, I had to come back to my original blog because I can't remember the new blog password!  Regardless, I am back from my blogging sabbatical and I have lots and lots of stuff to blog about it - Lucky for you my plans for the day were derailed, thanks to a stomach virus striking my youngest offspring overnight.


You may or may not remember my crazy schedule.  It left me with absolutely no personal time to reflect and/or share my insanity with you.  I couldn't complete a thought in my head let alone type it for your enjoyment.  Those days are somewhat over now and I hope to get you all caught up quickly.


About two months ago, I found some time to sit down on the couch and relax.  Within moments I had one child on the arm of the couch next to me, one on my lap and the other at my side (I am assuming Emma was in her room - as this is where she spends a great deal of her time).  I looked at each of them and thought to myself, "Dear God give me a break already!", I just wanted to sit there, lifeless on the couch and lose myself in Lifetime Movie Network.  I tried to shoo them away, no dice.  I tried threatening them with chores, still no dice.  I tried every trick I could think of...they sat firmly beside me.  They simply would not budge!  Finally I said, "DO YOU ALL HAVE TO SIT ON TOP OF ME? I NEED SOME PERSONAL SPACE!".  They all looked at me like I was crazy and then it flew out of the mouth of my babes, "But Mom we miss you!".  At that moment, I knew what I had to do.


Two weeks later, I turned in my immediate notice to CVS and that, my friends, was that.




After quitting my part-time job, there was something else that had been eating away at me for sometime - Olivia's gymnastics.  Not only did gymnastics eat away any and all free-time, it ate away the entire fabric of our lives.  Let's face it, shall we?  Olivia is eight years old.  Does an eight year old have to be in the gym five days, sixteen hours a week?  NO! Let me clarify, this was not the only reason I was miffed.  I was downright aggravated, pissed off if you will, at the lack of coaching my daughter was getting.  I knew in my heart she could do better.  I took a brave step and called another gym. 


When I told Olivia we were going to try out a new gym, she was a little shocked.  Her first response was, "Won't my coach be mad at me?".  My response, "Quite frankly Olivia, I don't give a damn!"  HA!  Just kidding, I said it in child friendly terms.  I proceeded to tell her all the perks of the new gym - First and foremost, more free time to play with her friends!  Which lead to her next response, "What about my friends?".  I replied in the nicest way possible, stating two things:  1.  We aren't paying for you to do gymnastics to make friends - you can get them for free at school! 2.  Okay that was kind of harsh....we will stay in contact with your friends from the gym, I promise.  As it turned out, several of her friends came with us - Problem solved!


Changing gyms was bittersweet.  We left behind many friends but in the end it was truly the best choice.  Olivia only has gymnastics three days a week now, unless we do a private.  She has some of her friends from the previous gym with her and is making new ones.  She had to go down a level in training (further explanation of my aggravation) but the benefit has been regaining success.  She has had two competitions since the move and each time her scores have improved immensely.  The best part of it has been seeing her happiness and love of gymnastics return.


The best part for me, personally, I have free-time again!  My kids are still close by me when I am home - I think they just like me and I am okay with that!


Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity

Electrical Mechanism Hostilities

Now that I have caught the attention of the United States Government, I would like to say you can simmer down!  This blog has nothing to do with any foreign or US terrorist activity - unless you consider my everyday appliances a national threat.  However, if you would like to step up and replace any of them, I am more than willing to negotiate!

I am pretty sure in past blogs, I have mentioned my gullible nature for advertising ploys.  You may recall my dishwasher debacle - I fell hook, line and sinker for Kelly Ripa's Electrolux advertisement's and purchased a dishwasher because of her seal of approval.  It turned out to be a huge mistake. I had to replace it within fifteen months, only to be limited to another Electrolux dishwasher! At this time, I am hand washing dishes 85% of the time because they are never sparkling clean. Anyway, it started from there and has only gotten worse.

I am not entirely sure why all of our electric appliances hate it here so much but at this point, I am ready to go old school and move to the country get a bucket and a wringer, build a spring house and cellar and call it a day! 

Here is the current list of broken appliances in my home (No worries, there is a story for each one)

1. Dishwasher
2. Refrigerator
3. Microwave
4. Garage Door Opener
5. Garbage Disposal
6. Straight Iron
7. Curling Iron
8. iPods (2)

We already covered the dishwasher, so we will move right along to the refrigerator.  One day I went over to get some ice for my drink and pushed the cup in to the space where the ice falls out and in to your cup.  Much to my dismay, nothing happened!  NOTHING!  I opened the door and pulled out the ice storage unit and there was nothing in it. I messed with all the buttons and knobs I could find and still nothing.  I called my husband, who checked the water line, pushed all the same buttons and knobs and still nothing.  Since we didn't really have any extra money to spend on something as important to me as ice, we dealt with it by purchasing ice cube trays.  I am not going to spend a whole lot of time on this ice maker situation but it must be said, ice cube trays in a house with four kids, not a fabulous combination!  I lived without manufactured ice for a good six months before I could no longer take it and found the money to replace the ice maker.  I installed it all by myself and had ice cubes by the days end. 

A few months later, we were sitting in our living room and watching television and the refrigerator started making this humming sound.  In all fairness, it was sort of melodic and I found myself soothed by it at first.  By the next day, the soothing stopped and it had become a loud, irritating, buzzing noise!  After some Google searching we came to realize it was due to a frozen back panel which had caused the fan to freeze up.  Great!  This is just what I need and within twenty-four hours, the entire fridge was inoperable. Luckily, we had little food, an upright freezer and a mini fridge in the garage where we were able to put our rations.  The fridge had to sit unplugged and empty for a couple days to thaw.  How much fun was this?  Oh so much fun!  As you are probably aware, you can not leave the doors closed when a refrigerator is not in use. How lovely to have the doors open all the time and instead of yelling at one's offspring to close the dag gone fridge doors, you are now yelling, "LEAVE THEM OPEN!".  Since having a refrigerator repair person come out is costly, we have opted to deal with the twenty-eight day cycle (it works great for about twenty-seven days and then the humming begins).  The great news is, I have even figured out how to get this cycle to work with my grocery shopping!

The microwave isn't a huge deal in the great scheme of things.  The only issue with it is the light underneath doesn't work.  I have changed the light bulb only to have it work for a moment and then BAM it's gone.  If you smack it just "so" sometimes it will provide a moments light but again, it has to be a direct, just "so" smack.  It just isn't worth the effort unless I want to take out some pent up hostility on something.

Moving right along, in the spring our garage door opener decided it can only pull the garage door up a quarter of the way, gives up and the door goes crashing down.  Fabulous, right?  Why yes it is fabulous!  In order to get my Pilot out of the garage I have to push the wall button and sprint across the garage floor, avoiding the children's shoes, rain boots, and whatever else has found itself a home along the garage wall, grab underneath the door and give it a little help to get past the quarter of the way hump and then and only then, will it finish the job a little past the halfway point.  It gets really frustrating if you don't make it to the door in time or if you let go before it reaches the magical spot where it can pull it again.  I love home ownership!

Are you feeling my pain yet?  One would think this would be the end of it!  There couldn't be more, could there?  Oh yes there could! I am "The Queen of Insanity"! How could I exist without some kind of constant crisis?

The Badger has gone off the prairie, I repeat, The Badger has gone off the prairie! "What is a Badger?", you may be asking.  Badger is the name of my garbage disposal - my sister's too.  In fact, my sister and I have a long standing joke about The Badger.  You do not have any idea how dependent you are on your garbage disposal until it is not working.  I have caught myself, on more than one occasion, dumping things into it, only to have to dig them right back out.  Can you say gross?  BLAH! 

My kids (no one has ever stepped forward taking responsibility) broke my very expensive, and obviously purchased prior to my downward financial spiral, FHI straight iron.  On a more positive note, I have learned to go with the flow of my natural curls.  Subsequently, someone broke Abigail's curling iron.  Karma?  I do not know, just sayin'.

In addition to all of this, two of my kids' iPod touches, spontaneously went to the dark side and will no longer do anything! I can't even blame the kids for this one because my own iPod did the very same thing and I gave it special care!  Personally, I think this is a plot of Apple's.  They suck you in with cool technology and right before they come out with something new, "Oh Snap!  My iPod isn't working!" Hmmmmmmm....suspicious, yes?

In closing, if by chance, you see a high speed chase on the news, following a bank heist, and there is a curly haired, crazy woman driving a silver Pilot with a stick family on the side, and other accolades of children stuck to it - it would be a safe bet to guess it's me, The Queen Insanity gone off the reservation!

Sincerely,
The Queen Of Insanity

How I Quit My Job

When I found out Olivia's gymnastics schedule was going to be five days a week this fall, I immediately panicked.  How in the world was I going to get her there four evenings and one Saturday afternoon, get Abigail and Sarah to dance, work and find anytime to say, breath?  After careful consideration, I decided to turn in my notice at my place of employment. 

I wrote my resignation, took it in and left it on my boss' desk.  I knew this would not go over well because she was on vacation for a few more days, however, a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.  I thought she would be back from vacation on Monday and she would have some time to "process" my letter.  You know what?  She didn't come back to work till Tuesday.  You know what else?  On Tuesdays (truck day), we are the only two people there from 6:00am till 8:00am!  I had no idea what I would be walking into this Tuesday morning.  I love my boss! She is non-stop, anxious, worst case scenario and matter of fact. Honestly, how can anyone not love the attention deficient?  Face it people, without those of us suffering from it, life would be a great big bore!  Anyway, I see her standing out front of the store when I pull into the parking lot.  My immediate thought is far too inappropriate to type and all of you know exactly what word popped into my head!  I decided it was time to get out and face the music.

As I approached her, she just smiled and we made idle conversation.  I start thinking about how to prolong the conversation and perhaps use my A.D.D. to confuse her A.D.D. into focusing on her Tail of The Dragon motorcycle adventure.  It worked for about two minutes until the rule "Twenty minutes of talking then a few minutes of silence" was apparently on A.D.D. time. "What are you doing to me?" she said.  Thoughts are racing through my mind now and I am trying to have a witty, yet comical comeback - I got nothing!  I start explaining that it's not the job, I actually like my job, it's just my kids schedules are becoming very demanding, and there are only so many hours in the day, my house is a disaster area (anyone who has been to my house knows this is an every day occurrence - I was not blessed my Mother's cleaning talents), Scott is working third shift now which makes it impossible for me to be here at 6:00am on a Tuesday morning with school starting and oh yeah, all of my kids are in school all day now, so if I found an evening to work, I would never see them!  Retail employment is great for flexibility in schedules but generally speaking, it is very difficult to have this sort of schedule if you expect to be able to make plans.  That was that, the conversation was over, well, at least for the next hour.

An hour later, as I predicted, she approached me again and asked if I would be willing to stay and work every other Sunday and Tuesday (truck day). Just to explain my "as I predicted" statement, at my work, it's kind of like the movie The Firm, once you are in, it's impossible to get out.  I explained to her my situation with our union, I owe them back dues and they are taking an incredible amount of money out of my part-time paycheck and I would be working to pay them.  It doesn't matter how many hours you work, they take the same amount.  She asked me to find out how much I still owed and how long it would take me to pay them off and I agreed to do so.

The next day I called the union (I have another name for them).  I still owed them $102.00!  At an additional $10 a pay, which is $20 a month...well you can do the math.  The union's lovely representative was not exactly helpful and assured me of all the great benefits I was getting by being a member of the union.  I begged to differ with her and I am pretty sure she hopes I drive off a cliff in a fiery crash. When I saw my boss for the first time after talking to them, I informed her of the bad news and there was just no way I could stay since I would essentially be making wooden nickels. 

My second to last day working was truck day.  At first we went about putting truck out and right before her scheduled district conference call she made me a possible offer to stay.  Her plan was to promote me to a shift manager, which would in turn give me a decent wage increase, thereby making up for the loss due to union dues and to work with my schedule even further.  There was just one issue, she had to get permission from the district manager, she planned to call him immediately following the conference call and so she did. Right before I was to leave, she came over and told me she had gotten his approval and to please think it over. 

I still work at CVS.


Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
*Or stupidity at this point*

Back To School Is Cool

I can not tell a lie,  I love when it's time for the kids to go back to school!  To me, it is better than Christmas.  For a variety of reason, one of which, the gift of peace and quiet is all mine.

This year I was even more excited than usual because it is the first year all four of my offspring will be in school all day, every day Monday through Friday.  You can call me heartless, mean or whatever you want but I am completely unaffected by their daily absence - COMPLETELY!  I laugh at all the posts I see from Mom's boohooing about their "baby" going off to kindergarten.  You know what?  We don't have all day kindergarten where we live so realistically they are gone for a maximum of three hours.  I can not miss you in three hours, I don't care who you are! 

The only thing I don't like about back to school time is having to buy supplies.  Nowadays, you have to buy everything under the sun for them to go to school, only for them to "share" because their items will be "community" supplies.  Community supplies? 

In my "community" we only have Crayola crayons not knock offs that don't color worth crap.  See?  This is what I spend my time worrying about!  Okay, I am buying the name brand crayons and not just because they are name brand but because they are the best crayons/markers/colored pencils out there. They are just better - period - Therefore, my children will bring Crayola to your classroom.  What really cuts me to the core is some parents are just plain cheap!  I don't know if they think they are punishing the teacher, the principal, the school district, or the whole establishment itself for making them buy school supplies in the first place.  However, your cheap ass is punishing MY child because you are too "thrifty" to spend an extra quarter on Crayola!!!!

In my "community"  I buy my own cleaning supplies and you buy your own cleaning supplies!  I do not feel like it is my responsibility to buy paper towels and expensive disinfecting antibacterial wipes for you to make my child wipe down this, that or the other.  Why do I pay two separate taxes to the school district?  Are your janitors not holding up their end of the bargain?  Seriously, fire them!  It isn't that difficult to grab a wash cloth with some good old fashioned soap and water to wash things off.  My child is still going to end up sick at some point during the year, so I fail to see the purpose.

Tissues, I have no issue with tissues.

Then there is shopping for clothing with those indecisive little creatures. 

One of my children would just prefer to wear the same few outfits over and over and over and over and over again - Bam, problem solved.  I can not convince her to go shopping with me.  I just bring home things and she proclaims her undying love for them.  LIES!  Either I will see it on her soon or I never see it again until she proclaims it is too small.

My youngest knows what she wants and you will not be allowed to forget until she has it in her possession.  She isn't rude or obnoxious about it.  No, not at all, she is just like an elephant, never forgets anything (well all of my kids are like that).

Another one of my children is just laid back and very sure of her likes and dislikes in clothes.  This child is totally screwed after one more size of underwear!  Unless by the grace of God The Children's Place comes out with a lingerie line for teens - Pray for this, will ya?

Then there is the one.....yes the one child who was put here on this earth simply to torture me.  For example, tonight we went shopping for tennis shoes and a few other random things.  But the shoe shopping! Oh my, my, my, my, MY! I love shoes!  Seriously and truly I love me some shoes. What I do not like is shoe shopping with any of my kids.  I am not sure why - perhaps I am entirely narcissistic about shoes.  Ha ha ha ha You got me, I am.  Anyway, I am pretty sure I said, "You have five minutes to make a decision" at least twenty times.  By the time we were finally done, I was wondering why they don't sell knives or guns of any kind in shoe stores!  When we were done at the shoe store, we hit Target to return her two day "used" backpack because it was broken.  I had to get a few things and she couldn't find just the perfect bag - therefore, it was my fault we took so long shopping! 

Sincerely,
The Queen Of Insanity

Life or Something Like It

It has been a good long time since I have last blogged.  I have tried many times to get on here and always get side-tracked but I am going to try and do better.

My life has been just a little insane since we last met. Quite honestly, I am not even sure that insane even begins to cover it - My days are a blur!  I work, I take Lu to gymnastics, I bring her home from gymnastics and repeat. On a rare occasion, I get the privilege of driving Abigail and/or Sarah to dance. I even let Lu skip gymnastics once *GASP* to go to her sisters' dance rehearsal.  I think her coach wanted to tar and feather me because when I told him she wouldn't be at practice, he seemed a bit irritated and confused when I said, "Her sisters' have dance rehearsal! You know, I have do have three other children!?!". 

A word of caution:  Competitive activities for children are a slippery slope!

Now I must qualify this cautionary statement - I do not mean your run of the mill little league activities or even school organized sports, band or what have you.  Mainly uniformed, traveling, paid for by the parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousin's, brother's, sister's last dog owner, virtually any one willing to buy; a candy bar, candle, hanging flower, discount card, gift card, ad spot, magazine subscription, 50/50 raffle ticket or eat at this restaurant tonight for our team to get X% of the profit kind of competitive activity. As my Dad would say, "It's slicker than snot on a door knob!" 

I really did used to have a life - now I have three out of four children participating in competitive activities (two dancers and one gymnast).  I often ask myself, "WHY????????? (throwing hands towards the heavens) WHY DO MY CHILDREN HAVE TALENT?"  Clearly they get this from me. This is my own damn fault. I say this because the fourth child is pretty much a bookworm-brainiac, who clearly did NOT, I repeat, DID NOT get that from me.  She is too smart for her own good.  This is not to say that I am dumb, I am smart in my own special way - a way that remains to be revealed.  All joking aside, it is so easy to get sucked into the competition world.  By nature, I am not competitive.  I will literally let someone beat me just because I am that nice - I don't want them to feel bad.  If it's important for them to win, it's important for me to let them.  If you fell for that, you should seek counseling immediately.  Well, the last part anyway, I am really not competitive.  I just don't have it within myself to worry about whether or not someone can beat me at something.  Nor do I care if your kid is faster, more flexible, can do more turns, flips, blah, blah, blah, blah.....doesn't matter to me so long as my kid is doing their best, having fun and being a team player. 

Yes, I am rambling, OKAY?  This is what insane people do - duh! 

Originally, I put my twins in dance when they were three years old. I was so excited to have them wear cute little costumes and prance around the stage.  Why?  Simply because I thought it was cute and isn't this what Queen Mums are suppose to do - Put their unsuspecting daughter's in tutu's for all the world to see? Yes!  After awhile, Emma said, "I can't do this anymore....There are books to be read!" I let her quit but Abigail carried on.  But wait!  I have Olivia, she will love to be like her big sister OR not. Olivia wasn't feeling the dancing scene and wanting to keep my kids active, I enrolled her in gymnastics. Before I knew what was happening, she was signed up on the competition team and there went my personal life. 

Today I spend all of my precious time at dance and gymnastics classes, rehearsals and competitions.  I have at the very least one nervous breakdown per competition season - you just can't help it.  Okay, okay, I can't help it!  It is stressful and it's hard not to get caught up in the emotions of it all.  No, "I" am not competitive but you always want to see your child do their best.  It sucks when they don't and they beat themselves up about it. Never mind the sacrifices of time and money you put in to it.  Sometimes, I just want to strangle them - yeah, I can be honest here.  This is my blog after all! 

The truth is, there is a lot to be learned from competitive arts/sports.  My girls are learning the fine art of winning and losing gracefully (In case you are wondering where I stand on this matter:  I do not believe in not keeping score.  You hippie parents are too much for me! That is not real life.  You are setting your children up for disaster).  My girls are learning to be team players and I am doing the world a favor by keeping my offspring from running the streets and reeking havoc on poor unsuspecting souls.  Trust and believe, it is a favor!

In a nutshell, I haven't been around because I haven't been around.

Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity