The Insanity Chronicles: Who's Your Favorite?

noun

1. a person or thing regarded with special favor or preference: That song is an old favorite of mine.

2. Sports . a competitor considered likely to win.

3. a person or thing popular with the public.

4. a person treated with special or undue favor by a king, official, etc.: favorites at the court.

Let's face it, we are born with innate preferences and as we grow in knowledge and experience, we find things that we love as well as despise. It's a matter of fact, pretty people get ahead in this world - don't even try to argue this untrue. The beautiful, the skinny, he with the most (insert whatever here) wins, and all kinds of what society views as perfection is given "preference". FACT

If you haven't already figured it out, today's edition of my blog is not about playing favorites at home. The battle of favorites in the eyes of one's own children can never be won - well at least not until they have children of their own and realize there is a special kind of compartmentalized love for each and every child. You love them each whole-heartedly. This chronicle is about the world.

How do you teach your children to be fair and to give every one a chance when this example is lacking every where you look? As a parent, I am trying to instill into my four hooligans to be honest, fair, dedicated to their activities and the horrible truth: The world is not a fair place! At times it seems impossible to teach these lessons. We all want the very best for your our offspring and for some of us, it means robbing Peter to pay Paul and in desperate cases, beating down Mary! I know this seems like ramblings of a mad woman but rest assured, this IS going somewhere.

The competitive world is ugly and YET I have three out of four of my children in knee deep! It's the insanity, it has to be! In competition there will always be a winner and there will always be a loser. I'm okay with this. What I am not okay with is blatant favoritism. I am forever telling a dear friend of mine, "No worries, they will get by on their own accord". Truth be told, this is only partially true. I have seen this go either way but in my heart of hearts, I must believe sometimes it's true. We spend a vast majority of our time training in our activities of choice and always hope our best will shine through - sometimes our best isn't enough.

Today we had a mock competition and overall I think everyone did their best! It was awesome to see the fruit of their labors come into fruition. What I am taking issue with is the fairness of the judgement. Do I think my daughter was scored fairly? I actually do. Do I think others were? Not so much. You see, some of them are what I would kinda, actually consider, "favorites". It just miffs me a bit. Guess what? You are going to find this shocking......I am going to tell you why!

When preferential treatment is given to some, only the ones given said treatment are generally going to reach success. What is the hope for those who aren't given the same? Why should they even try? My hope is they will rise above the circumstance, take every opportunity given to them and kick the butts of those given preference. Please don't think me a poor sport! I do believe the girls who came out ahead today were deserving. Truthfully, I watch them work on their craft and am completely amazed at what they accomplish! Furthermore, it isn't their fault they are chosen. The issue for me is how difficult it becomes for someone to be impartial when put in a position of judging their own work and/or prodigies if you will. Just do the opposite of Nike's slogan, "Don't do it!". I would have thought more of the results had impartial evaluation taken place. I know! I know! Do I want some wine with my cheese? I think I may even be repeating myself at this point.

The question became are these girls ready to compete? My opinion, yes I have one, we won't know until we put them out there. When it became a matter to be voted on, after a heated debate, I abstained from voting because I felt too conflicted to put my opinion out there. I believe as a whole the coach is the best judge of readiness. I also believe what I heard from another parent, others are already competing, being critiqued and improving on their abilities. We are coming in behind the game! What really struck me about this heated debate was every time a dash of nepotism was thrown in, the parent threw it back as a reminder they are a team. What a cool drink of water, eh?

In conclusion, it doesn't matter if it costs everyone the same financially because some will ultimately pay more than others.

Sincerely,

The Queen of Insanity