My offspring keep me on my tippy toes at all times. There is no rest for the weary people! It should come as no surprise to you my life is a three ring circus, therefore, you won't be anything less than entertained by this week in review.
First of all, the fire department visited Sarah's kindergarten class last Thursday. She arrived off the bus in full chatter about all the things she had learned from their visit. Just to name a few, "Stop, drop, roll - and cover your face!", "In an emergency call 9-1-1" and "Never, EVER play with matches! EVER!" It never ceases to amaze me how much Sarah takes in from the world and this was no exception. In fact, the entire family had to hear about her escape plan, how we should never play with matches and it's okay if the dogs are still in the house, even if we make it out first because the firemen will save them. She's a smart kid, I'll give her that. However, smart can be made into a compound word: smart ass. See how easy that was? Before you judge me for calling my sweet little five year old a smart ass - you should live with her! Truthfully, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree but for all intense purposes this is the best description I could give for her.
Fast forward to Monday afternoon....
Sarah gets home from school and we are just hanging out enjoying some quality time. I decide to go out on the deck and enjoy some sunshine with my cigarette (Calm down people! I smoke outside and yes, I know smoking is likely going to kill me but it's my vice so give me a break, alright?) I light up my cigarette and take a little drag and sit my lighter on the table. Sarah comes out back, looks at me, looks at the lighter and then back at me as she moves her hand towards my lighter. Her finger extends and there it is! Her little pointer finger is on the lighter and she exclaims, "Well look at that! Nothing! Nothing is happening Mom! My teacher was sooooooooo wrong!" I couldn't help but laugh and think to myself that this child will be the death of me. Seriously, she is the last apple to fall in the basket and her mind is sharp as a tack. Lest we forget that I am coming up on my 29k birthday and by the time she is a teenager I am going to be completely exhausted, out of whitty comebacks and 100% certifiable. Pray for me!
On Tuesday, one of my teenage daughters came home from school and informed me that one of the emu/goth girls at school shaved her head, leaving only a Mohawk on top of her head. Lovely, right? Then an update on the pregnant girl (8th grade...ugggg), she is apparently back at school. I write this as if I had previously mentioned it and I haven't. I seriously can't imagine it and will just leave it at that - she's back at school. This is where the story shows my advance maternal age - She tells me one of the boys was stoned at school. Alright before I go on, she continued on to say he got suspended because he was high at school and apparently dealing drugs. My story couldn't proceed without me throwing that little tidbit in there because once I tell you my immediate after she told me he was stoned at school, you will not even care there was more because you'll be too busy thinking what a moron I am!
Her: Mom, a boy was stoned at school today!
In my mind: STONED? Why would they ever do such a thing in this day and age? Where were the teachers? Holy Mackerel....what is this world coming to? Where did they get the stones to throw at him?
Me: Do you mean he was high?
No, I'm not old enough to remember a time when anyone anywhere was stoned. This is a perfect example of growing older and wanting to pretend like MY kids don't know the lingo.
Sadly, I am of that age.
Moving on to Wednesday, both of my eighth grade children came home from school and confessed they both got in trouble at school. What is wrong with them? Why do they feel it necessary to confess all of their transgressions to me? I would have never busted myself out if I knew my parents weren't going to find out. I guess it's a sign of the relationship we have. I think as a parent it is very difficult to pretend to agree with the "establishment" for the sake of solidarity. Anyone else find this challenging? May be I should clarify what I mean here.
Lets say your child gets a lunch detention for not completing a homework assignment. She thought she finished it in her support class. Much to her dismay this wasn't the case and therefore there must be a consequence. For the record, I am down with consequences but in my opinion the punishment must fit the crime. Someone please tell me what happened to the days when you turned incomplete work in, it was simply reflected in your grade? They are apparently gone with the wind. Here is what happened to my daughter. First her teacher sent her to sit in the hall to fill out her lunch detention paperwork and proceeded to forget about her. So she sat out in the hall, (Because let's face it, who wants to risk more trouble by reminding the teacher you are out there?) and missed the entire day's lesson. Honestly!!!!!! I just do NOT understand this thought process at all! Let me get this straight, my A.D.D. child (probably the reason she thought her homework was done and in fact wasn't) was sent to the hall, forgotten about and missed the entire days lesson, then had to sit in the cafeteria at a "special" table to further her punishment? WOW! Lesson learned, no doubt.
The other rebellious child was given a color change and a five point deduction from her grade. Why? The better question here is: Why are they giving color changes to 8th graders?? HA! In the 8th grade they are required to have a flash drive. The assignment was a power point presentation and due on the flash drive. Never mind if she knows how to use one or not, or say her mother! The night before the presentation was due, she had completed her work and transferred it to the flash drive - or in this case did not transfer the assignment. According to her father, she was very excited and proud of herself to have figured it out all on her own. She went to school and low and behold, no presentation on the flash drive! Again, I am okay with consequence. In this situation however, what is the point? Your expectation is to hand a child a flash drive and expect they or their parent knows how to use it? EERRRRRR Point deduction fine - but a pointless color change? Come on, really?
My point is this: There are kids at their school doing far worse things (please see above) and they are handing out lunch detention because a kid didn't complete their assignment? I have never heard of such a thing until now. What has our world come to?
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Hand, Foot and Mouth
Based on the title of this particular blog, you might think I was talking about inserting my hand or foot into my mouth. As likely as this prospect is, where I am concerned, this is not the case here. No friends, I am referring to a childhood virus called Coxsackie Disease, also known as Hand, Foot, Mouth Disease. Hand, Foot, Mouth Disease (Coxsackie Disease) is a virus in which the hands, feet and mouth become covered in bumps/blisters. It is sometimes accompanied by a fever - this was not the case with Olivia.
I picked her up from school for gymnastics on Thursday and when I turned around to say hello, I noticed she had some kind of rash on her legs. I thought to myself, "Well that's strange!" and drove on out of the pick up line. I investigated the rash a bit when we got to the gym and determined (because I'm a non-licensed doctor in my spare time) it must just be some kind of a contact dermatitis; After all, she was rolling around in the front yard the night before! She did her time in the gym and on the way home we stopped by my work and got some of that Aveeno oatmeal bath.
The next morning the rash on her legs was gone. YAY! Oh snap! Hold up sister....this is strange, what the???? Bumps on your feet? All over your hands and palms? What ever could this be? Nothing a little cortisone cream won't help! I slather her up with cortisone cream and instruct her to call home if they start becoming more bothersome. Off to the big yellow limousine because as you know, we never pass up an opportunity to hop on the limo! The day goes by and no call. I pick her up from school and off to gymnastics we go.
Fast forward to the next morning, we get up and get ready to head off to gymnastics AGAIN (This is our life, ya know!?!). As we are driving there I know that we aren't staying, I must take this spotted child to the doctor! Stopping at the gym to inform her coach she will not be there because of this strange rash. My next stop was to my parents' house. No, neither of my parents are doctors. Despite the fact my Dad is often referred to as Dr. Jay - his non-licensed medical practice is based in neurosurgery. I stopped at their house to borrow money. People I have no shame, I'm broke! I had approximately $30.00 in my checking account, my gas gauge was 1/4 mm away from E, a trip to urgent care is $25.00 and heaven forbid she get a prescription! ALL HAIL PARENTS!!! My wonderful Mom gave me some money and off we went.
The diagnosis: Hand, Foot, Mouth Disease. End of story? NO!
What I failed to mention above, is my other three children had left Friday night for a weekend getaway at their Grandma Joyce's to swim. I was supposed to drop Olivia off after gymnastics and clearly this wasn't going to happen now (H.F.M.D. is apparently very contagious). Before I continue, Mom time is a precious commodity! I had all these great plans to lay on my couch with my iditorod team and watch Discovery I.D. and Lifetime all weekend. Clearly, my plan went up in smoke. Whatever! I will just hang out with Spot and we'll watch Cartoon Network..may be she'll fall asleep and I can watch Adult Swim. HA! In reality what happened was I went to my sister's house to drop off mums and have dinner. On the way home my phone rings, it's Emma.
Me: Hello
Emma: Mooooom, I'm coming home. I don't feel good - I think I'm going to throw up.
Me: "ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME??????" Oh wait that was my thought! Let's try that again
Me: Oh no baby girl! Okay well we are on our way from Aunt Tammy's. I'll see you soon.
Emma: Okay.
I return home and before I know it, all three of the other girls are filing into the house. Emma and Sarah plop on the couch and Abigail goes to her room. I tell the two on the couch to go to their beds - Emma with a bowl. I do a few things around the house and go to bed.
The next morning I awake to several texts from Scott:
When I got home I made myself something to eat and when I went to sit down to eat it,
discovered someone had thrown up all over the couch. I cleaned it up the best I could. Then I came across a mess made by one of the dogs (Lilly). Had to clean that up, it took me two hours to eat my food and get to bed.
Welcome to my personal hell mister! Poor guy :o(
It turns out Sarah was the phantom couch puker. I spent my morning cleaning and disinfecting the house and then off to work (Dang it!) I went. I kept Olivia home until Wednesday and since I deemed she was no longer contagious took all the girls to swim at Grandma's. End of story....WRONG!
I went to bed at 11pm, which is pretty early for me but I was tired and dozed off pretty quickly. My slumber didn't last but 20 minutes! I'm laying in my bed and I hear loud mumbling coming from Sarah's room, it got progressively louder until it was a scream and then the crying began. Emma went to her aid and then finally I had to get up and see what the heck was going on. Within minutes I knew what was wrong - Ear infection! Why oh WHY do ear infections always wait till bedtime to show themselves? Needless to say, Scott and I were awake all night dealing with her. If I were a better wife and mother a couple of things would have been different. For one thing, I would have had a full supply, rather than none, of children's ibuprofen! Two, I would have taken her to the couch and laid with her there knowing that Scott had to work early the next day. Yeah, well, no one is perfect!
Thursday I kept Sarah home from school and her E.N.T. called her in some antibiotic drops. I also had to take our puppy, Mabel, to the vet for a routine check-up. Turns out she had double ear infections. Can you feel my joy?
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
I picked her up from school for gymnastics on Thursday and when I turned around to say hello, I noticed she had some kind of rash on her legs. I thought to myself, "Well that's strange!" and drove on out of the pick up line. I investigated the rash a bit when we got to the gym and determined (because I'm a non-licensed doctor in my spare time) it must just be some kind of a contact dermatitis; After all, she was rolling around in the front yard the night before! She did her time in the gym and on the way home we stopped by my work and got some of that Aveeno oatmeal bath.
The next morning the rash on her legs was gone. YAY! Oh snap! Hold up sister....this is strange, what the???? Bumps on your feet? All over your hands and palms? What ever could this be? Nothing a little cortisone cream won't help! I slather her up with cortisone cream and instruct her to call home if they start becoming more bothersome. Off to the big yellow limousine because as you know, we never pass up an opportunity to hop on the limo! The day goes by and no call. I pick her up from school and off to gymnastics we go.
Fast forward to the next morning, we get up and get ready to head off to gymnastics AGAIN (This is our life, ya know!?!). As we are driving there I know that we aren't staying, I must take this spotted child to the doctor! Stopping at the gym to inform her coach she will not be there because of this strange rash. My next stop was to my parents' house. No, neither of my parents are doctors. Despite the fact my Dad is often referred to as Dr. Jay - his non-licensed medical practice is based in neurosurgery. I stopped at their house to borrow money. People I have no shame, I'm broke! I had approximately $30.00 in my checking account, my gas gauge was 1/4 mm away from E, a trip to urgent care is $25.00 and heaven forbid she get a prescription! ALL HAIL PARENTS!!! My wonderful Mom gave me some money and off we went.
The diagnosis: Hand, Foot, Mouth Disease. End of story? NO!
What I failed to mention above, is my other three children had left Friday night for a weekend getaway at their Grandma Joyce's to swim. I was supposed to drop Olivia off after gymnastics and clearly this wasn't going to happen now (H.F.M.D. is apparently very contagious). Before I continue, Mom time is a precious commodity! I had all these great plans to lay on my couch with my iditorod team and watch Discovery I.D. and Lifetime all weekend. Clearly, my plan went up in smoke. Whatever! I will just hang out with Spot and we'll watch Cartoon Network..may be she'll fall asleep and I can watch Adult Swim. HA! In reality what happened was I went to my sister's house to drop off mums and have dinner. On the way home my phone rings, it's Emma.
Me: Hello
Emma: Mooooom, I'm coming home. I don't feel good - I think I'm going to throw up.
Me: "ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME??????" Oh wait that was my thought! Let's try that again
Me: Oh no baby girl! Okay well we are on our way from Aunt Tammy's. I'll see you soon.
Emma: Okay.
I return home and before I know it, all three of the other girls are filing into the house. Emma and Sarah plop on the couch and Abigail goes to her room. I tell the two on the couch to go to their beds - Emma with a bowl. I do a few things around the house and go to bed.
The next morning I awake to several texts from Scott:
When I got home I made myself something to eat and when I went to sit down to eat it,
discovered someone had thrown up all over the couch. I cleaned it up the best I could. Then I came across a mess made by one of the dogs (Lilly). Had to clean that up, it took me two hours to eat my food and get to bed.
It turns out Sarah was the phantom couch puker. I spent my morning cleaning and disinfecting the house and then off to work (Dang it!) I went. I kept Olivia home until Wednesday and since I deemed she was no longer contagious took all the girls to swim at Grandma's. End of story....WRONG!
I went to bed at 11pm, which is pretty early for me but I was tired and dozed off pretty quickly. My slumber didn't last but 20 minutes! I'm laying in my bed and I hear loud mumbling coming from Sarah's room, it got progressively louder until it was a scream and then the crying began. Emma went to her aid and then finally I had to get up and see what the heck was going on. Within minutes I knew what was wrong - Ear infection! Why oh WHY do ear infections always wait till bedtime to show themselves? Needless to say, Scott and I were awake all night dealing with her. If I were a better wife and mother a couple of things would have been different. For one thing, I would have had a full supply, rather than none, of children's ibuprofen! Two, I would have taken her to the couch and laid with her there knowing that Scott had to work early the next day. Yeah, well, no one is perfect!
Thursday I kept Sarah home from school and her E.N.T. called her in some antibiotic drops. I also had to take our puppy, Mabel, to the vet for a routine check-up. Turns out she had double ear infections. Can you feel my joy?
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Where Oh Where Has The Insane One Gone??
Where oh where has the insane blogger gone?
Oh Where? Oh where can she be?
I would love to report my recent absence has been due to the fact that I had been institutionalized but no, I have simply been losing my mind of my own accord. Yes, I have been busier than a store on Black Friday!
Let me catch you up to speed. I took a part-time job at a local drug store, Olivia has gymnastics 16 hours per week, I babysit a little girl three days a week and then there's my crazy life. I know this doesn't sound like much but I assure you, it is more of an undertaking than one might think.
My part-time work schedule consists of varied hours, therefore, I do not know what I am working week to week. This makes it nearly impossible to prepare for the next week until it's almost too late. I have a love-hate relationship with my job. What I love about my job is being back out in the world, around other adults, nice and funny customers, a paycheck and 90% of my co-workers. But of course, there are things I hate about it; working, stupid customers, working, asshole customers, working and not being able to do what I want when I want. I have had several of my friends tell me my part-time job needs to be more part-time!
Let's talk about customers, shall we? As you know, I have a lot to say about the parents of competitive athletes. I have discovered over my past three months of outside employment is there is a lot to be said about customers. For instance, it has been said in the retail world, "The customer is always right!". I am gonna throw out the bullshit card on this one.
While I am all about being kind, courteous and helpful to a customer. Just because you are paying for something doesn't mean you are always right. The following are some examples: Trying to use a coupon that is clearly expired - not right! Accusing an employee of jacking up your pictures - just admit it, you are a crappy photographer! Yelling at us because you have no patience when you are second in line, really? My favorite thus far is the tourist (No, we do not live in a tourist area but apparently people visit family from another country). Four people came up to the counter to make a $32.00 purchase. They paid with a one hundred dollar bill, this in itself is not a huge deal. Rather than try to make change from my cash drawer (which by the way, does not contain even close to change for a hundred dollar bill), I call my supervisor to give me five twenties. I take three of the twenty dollar bills and hand them back to the "out of country" customer and proceed to use the other two as payment for their purchase. It quickly became apparent to me the customer was confused and for some unknown reason, was stacking all kinds of change on the counter. What the? I attempt to hand back the eight dollars in cash and was quickly told by the one English speaking person, that was not correct. Ummm......really? Not only am I proficient at making and counting back change, I can do it without the register screen that confirms I am correct. I know, I know, I'm talented! This is not a trait you find in today's youth. At this point, I have to explain the basics of making change and kindly tell these non-English speaking customers they are wrong. After the five minute lesson in American currency, they bring up the mound of change they have placed upon the counter. They want it converted to cash dollars. REALLY? Okay, I give them the cash for their change and finally they exit the store. I don't clearly understand why the pharmacy isn't authorized to pass out Xanax after a rough customer.
Chauffeur, my other part-time job. Olivia's gymnastics schedule is very time consuming and has ruined any thought I had of sleeping in during the summer, not only for me but for her as well. We are at the gym from 8:30am till 12:45pm every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Saturday we get an extra 30 minutes of sleep because we don't have to be there until 9:00am. WOOHOO!!! This schedule, in addition to my paid position at the drug store does not leave much time for any kind of adult fun (IE: Mom's Night Out). Wait! That should have read, "does not leave ANY time!". Since we live 30 minutes from the gym, this activity consumes around twenty-two hours of every week. Now add in around sixteen to twenty hours of outside employment and you got yourself a full-time job. Mind you, this is just one child's schedule!
Dance is a school calender activity and other than summer dance camp, which lasted one month of Mondays, we have had the summer off. However, you might be aware the new school year is about to begin and thus begins my life as a full-time chauffeur. You can imagine my excitement when Olivia's coach announced this fall the girls will continue with the sixteen hour a week training schedule. One good thing is one of the girls' that lives here in town has been moved into Olivia's class and for the past couple weeks we have been carpooling! I will list what my schedule will resemble below.
Sunday - More than likely work at least six hours
Monday - Kids off to school, work 9am to 2pm, Pick Olivia and Alivia up at school, drive to gymnastics, drive back home to get Abigail and Sarah to dance class.
Tuesday - Kids off to school - possible dance class and/or assisting for Sarah and Abigail.
Wednesday - Kids off to school, hopefully no work, pick Olivia, Sarah and Alivia up at school, drive to gymnastics. Wait for Sarah's gymnastics class to be over and drive back home.
Thursday - Kids off to school, work at some point
Friday - Kids off to school, pick up Olivia and Alivia at school, drive to gymnastics, drive back home.
Saturday - drive to gymnastics and be there by 8:00am, drive home...work Saturday evenings.
Now, mind you this is a rough schedule. Abigail might be helping at the dance studio two or three nights a week in addition to her own classes. The schedule also does not cover any school activities or household obligations such as cleaning, laundry, cooking, etc. I am completely and totally exhausted just thinking about what the next few weeks will bring. This begs the question, how do full-time working Moms do it? Truth be told, I could be a mean Mom and put the kabosh on every one's extra curricular activities. However, I love that my girls have found activities they love and are good at!
If you have been missing me and my blog, you know understand why I have been M.I.A. as of late. I have been trying to figure out how to blog from my smart phone but apparently you have to have a smart user as well!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Hyper Insanity
Oh Where? Oh where can she be?
I would love to report my recent absence has been due to the fact that I had been institutionalized but no, I have simply been losing my mind of my own accord. Yes, I have been busier than a store on Black Friday!
Let me catch you up to speed. I took a part-time job at a local drug store, Olivia has gymnastics 16 hours per week, I babysit a little girl three days a week and then there's my crazy life. I know this doesn't sound like much but I assure you, it is more of an undertaking than one might think.
My part-time work schedule consists of varied hours, therefore, I do not know what I am working week to week. This makes it nearly impossible to prepare for the next week until it's almost too late. I have a love-hate relationship with my job. What I love about my job is being back out in the world, around other adults, nice and funny customers, a paycheck and 90% of my co-workers. But of course, there are things I hate about it; working, stupid customers, working, asshole customers, working and not being able to do what I want when I want. I have had several of my friends tell me my part-time job needs to be more part-time!
Let's talk about customers, shall we? As you know, I have a lot to say about the parents of competitive athletes. I have discovered over my past three months of outside employment is there is a lot to be said about customers. For instance, it has been said in the retail world, "The customer is always right!". I am gonna throw out the bullshit card on this one.
While I am all about being kind, courteous and helpful to a customer. Just because you are paying for something doesn't mean you are always right. The following are some examples: Trying to use a coupon that is clearly expired - not right! Accusing an employee of jacking up your pictures - just admit it, you are a crappy photographer! Yelling at us because you have no patience when you are second in line, really? My favorite thus far is the tourist (No, we do not live in a tourist area but apparently people visit family from another country). Four people came up to the counter to make a $32.00 purchase. They paid with a one hundred dollar bill, this in itself is not a huge deal. Rather than try to make change from my cash drawer (which by the way, does not contain even close to change for a hundred dollar bill), I call my supervisor to give me five twenties. I take three of the twenty dollar bills and hand them back to the "out of country" customer and proceed to use the other two as payment for their purchase. It quickly became apparent to me the customer was confused and for some unknown reason, was stacking all kinds of change on the counter. What the? I attempt to hand back the eight dollars in cash and was quickly told by the one English speaking person, that was not correct. Ummm......really? Not only am I proficient at making and counting back change, I can do it without the register screen that confirms I am correct. I know, I know, I'm talented! This is not a trait you find in today's youth. At this point, I have to explain the basics of making change and kindly tell these non-English speaking customers they are wrong. After the five minute lesson in American currency, they bring up the mound of change they have placed upon the counter. They want it converted to cash dollars. REALLY? Okay, I give them the cash for their change and finally they exit the store. I don't clearly understand why the pharmacy isn't authorized to pass out Xanax after a rough customer.
Chauffeur, my other part-time job. Olivia's gymnastics schedule is very time consuming and has ruined any thought I had of sleeping in during the summer, not only for me but for her as well. We are at the gym from 8:30am till 12:45pm every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Saturday we get an extra 30 minutes of sleep because we don't have to be there until 9:00am. WOOHOO!!! This schedule, in addition to my paid position at the drug store does not leave much time for any kind of adult fun (IE: Mom's Night Out). Wait! That should have read, "does not leave ANY time!". Since we live 30 minutes from the gym, this activity consumes around twenty-two hours of every week. Now add in around sixteen to twenty hours of outside employment and you got yourself a full-time job. Mind you, this is just one child's schedule!
Dance is a school calender activity and other than summer dance camp, which lasted one month of Mondays, we have had the summer off. However, you might be aware the new school year is about to begin and thus begins my life as a full-time chauffeur. You can imagine my excitement when Olivia's coach announced this fall the girls will continue with the sixteen hour a week training schedule. One good thing is one of the girls' that lives here in town has been moved into Olivia's class and for the past couple weeks we have been carpooling! I will list what my schedule will resemble below.
Sunday - More than likely work at least six hours
Monday - Kids off to school, work 9am to 2pm, Pick Olivia and Alivia up at school, drive to gymnastics, drive back home to get Abigail and Sarah to dance class.
Tuesday - Kids off to school - possible dance class and/or assisting for Sarah and Abigail.
Wednesday - Kids off to school, hopefully no work, pick Olivia, Sarah and Alivia up at school, drive to gymnastics. Wait for Sarah's gymnastics class to be over and drive back home.
Thursday - Kids off to school, work at some point
Friday - Kids off to school, pick up Olivia and Alivia at school, drive to gymnastics, drive back home.
Saturday - drive to gymnastics and be there by 8:00am, drive home...work Saturday evenings.
Now, mind you this is a rough schedule. Abigail might be helping at the dance studio two or three nights a week in addition to her own classes. The schedule also does not cover any school activities or household obligations such as cleaning, laundry, cooking, etc. I am completely and totally exhausted just thinking about what the next few weeks will bring. This begs the question, how do full-time working Moms do it? Truth be told, I could be a mean Mom and put the kabosh on every one's extra curricular activities. However, I love that my girls have found activities they love and are good at!
If you have been missing me and my blog, you know understand why I have been M.I.A. as of late. I have been trying to figure out how to blog from my smart phone but apparently you have to have a smart user as well!
Sincerely,
The Queen of Hyper Insanity
Friday, June 8, 2012
It Didn't Take Long
No, it didn't take long for the drama to rear it's ugly head. Literally, I blogged just hours ago and by the end of gymnastics - Drama. HaaaLaaaa (does anyone know the correct spelling of this word? Hollaa, hollar...don't know and I am pretty confident my little insanity following knew precisely what I meant!)
As I mentioned in the previous blog, I am in charge of ballet lesson fees. After speaking to the gym owner, who then clarified with the team coach, I realized that the training team will only have one lesson per week. "Why does this matter Queenie?" you might be asking. No worries, I am about to tell you why it matters. In my mind, "I thought great news for those parents!" Less fees, lucky indeed. To be clear, their fee was only $16.00 a month for two, 30 minute classes per week. Now it's a whopping $8.00 a month. Lucky, doesn't even begin to describe what is going on in my mind! It just so happens the "training team" has class right after ours. I saw an opportunity to approach the parents and spread the fabulous news! It turns out my fabulous news ::::pregnant pause:::: was not so fabulous for everyone. Before I replay the conversation, I want to remind all of you of something important, do not and it bears repeating, do NOT kill the messenger. She is already hanging by the crown of her teeth (Dental humor)! The conversation went like this;
Moi: Good news! I made a mistake and your fee will only be $8.00 per month for ballet.
*I then explain my mistake which in hindsight should fall under misunderstanding*
Parental response: This isn't great news! What do you mean they are only getting one ballet lesson per week? Our girls are already getting short changed. They are losing 30 minutes of gym time and we are still paying the same, plus the added cost of ballet lessons.
Moi: With all due respect (and I have seen this class - mostly little bits), most of the girls will be good to make it through the 30 minute class. They just aren't at an age to handle anything longer.
Parent: MY DAUGHTER CAN HANDLE IT! She is seven years old and these girls are all ready behind and how will they catch up? My daughter was supposed to move up but they didn't have enough spots for her. *I blacked out for a moment*
Moi: *Random sarcastic thoughts running through my head* Oh I didn't realize your daughter was that old. However, my suggestion is to speak with the coach about this. I am only in charge of collecting the money for ballet.
Parent: Oh I will be talking to the Coach. Blah, blah, blah, blah.......blah........blah.....blah blah blah
Moi: (Starting to get worried about these black outs) Okay, well talk to the coach. Have a nice day!
Exit stage left
NOW, this is a case of my daughter is a superstar if I ever saw it. Do you remember my blog about how your child should be a super star in your eyes? Again, I draw the line when you cross over the obvious reality. I have a very hard time believing that the coach just didn't have a spot for her in the next level. He just re-evaluated all the girls and placed them accordingly - my child moved up. A few kids got moved up, down and around. I'm not the coach, I don't know what he sees but in my humble ole opinion, your child is more than likely where they belong - deal with it.
Sincerely,
The Queen Of Insanity
As I mentioned in the previous blog, I am in charge of ballet lesson fees. After speaking to the gym owner, who then clarified with the team coach, I realized that the training team will only have one lesson per week. "Why does this matter Queenie?" you might be asking. No worries, I am about to tell you why it matters. In my mind, "I thought great news for those parents!" Less fees, lucky indeed. To be clear, their fee was only $16.00 a month for two, 30 minute classes per week. Now it's a whopping $8.00 a month. Lucky, doesn't even begin to describe what is going on in my mind! It just so happens the "training team" has class right after ours. I saw an opportunity to approach the parents and spread the fabulous news! It turns out my fabulous news ::::pregnant pause:::: was not so fabulous for everyone. Before I replay the conversation, I want to remind all of you of something important, do not and it bears repeating, do NOT kill the messenger. She is already hanging by the crown of her teeth (Dental humor)! The conversation went like this;
Moi: Good news! I made a mistake and your fee will only be $8.00 per month for ballet.
*I then explain my mistake which in hindsight should fall under misunderstanding*
Parental response: This isn't great news! What do you mean they are only getting one ballet lesson per week? Our girls are already getting short changed. They are losing 30 minutes of gym time and we are still paying the same, plus the added cost of ballet lessons.
Moi: With all due respect (and I have seen this class - mostly little bits), most of the girls will be good to make it through the 30 minute class. They just aren't at an age to handle anything longer.
Parent: MY DAUGHTER CAN HANDLE IT! She is seven years old and these girls are all ready behind and how will they catch up? My daughter was supposed to move up but they didn't have enough spots for her. *I blacked out for a moment*
Moi: *Random sarcastic thoughts running through my head* Oh I didn't realize your daughter was that old. However, my suggestion is to speak with the coach about this. I am only in charge of collecting the money for ballet.
Parent: Oh I will be talking to the Coach. Blah, blah, blah, blah.......blah........blah.....blah blah blah
Moi: (Starting to get worried about these black outs) Okay, well talk to the coach. Have a nice day!
Exit stage left
NOW, this is a case of my daughter is a superstar if I ever saw it. Do you remember my blog about how your child should be a super star in your eyes? Again, I draw the line when you cross over the obvious reality. I have a very hard time believing that the coach just didn't have a spot for her in the next level. He just re-evaluated all the girls and placed them accordingly - my child moved up. A few kids got moved up, down and around. I'm not the coach, I don't know what he sees but in my humble ole opinion, your child is more than likely where they belong - deal with it.
Sincerely,
The Queen Of Insanity
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Let Summer Begin!
As I type this, all but one of my children are still passed out in their beds. Yes, the time of year has arrived, summer break. Most Mom's panic and worry what they will do with their little ankle biters home all summer. I don't worry because I know exactly what I will do - Maintain insanity!
Last week was busy. Scott worked the Memorial Tournament all week and the kids finished up school on Thursday, we had dress rehearsal, dance recital, gymnastics/meeting and Sunday my niece graduated from The Ohio State University College Of Dentistry as a Dental Hygienist. The dance recital was great and I have been dubbed "Teachers Pet" because I got to go in the back door of the venue and received a beautiful hanging basket. I'm okay with it, it's probably the nicest thing I have been called in a long time and I like flowers!
Saturday morning I took Olivia to gymnastics a little early because as it turns out, I had a board meeting. Okay, I hope you are sitting down. Are you? Alright, I have big news....I am now an official Member-at-Large on the CGA Amateur Athletics Board! Isn't that exciting? I am not really sure what it means other than I get to sit in on board meetings, vote and try to control my A.D.D. tendencies. Oh and collect money for summer ballet. If they knew how broke I was right now, they might reconsider letting me collect cash from anyone! (I feel since I put that out there I must state, I would NEVER steal money from anyone, let alone these hardworking girls). In thinking about the title, "Member-at-Large", I might ask to have my new found title changed to Speaker of the House. Lets be frank, shall we? The reason I am now in cahoots with the board is because I have a big ole mouth. Things have calmed down a bit since the old president stepped down and I am looking forward to the next possible drama.
On Sunday, I got myself and the girls up and ready for Jessica's graduation. I was only a mere five minutes late to my parents. All things considered, I give myself an A for punctuality. Yes, I gave myself an A because when I finally got there my Mom was still dilly dalling around in the house - hence we had to wait on her. I love how that worked out! It's like I was there ten minutes early.
Now, I can't even begin to tell you the joy I felt sitting in an auditorium full of graduating dentists and dental hygienists. One of my friends suggested I do some networking for future deals on dental work. Truly a great idea had I only thought of it beforehand. I could have made up business cards:
The Queen of Insanity
AKA: Dental Nightmare
Please call 555-1212 when
you need a little extra pro-bono
experience
Honestly, I was honored to be there to watch her walk across the stage and graduate from college. You go girl! Go out there and be a dental nazi! I will still love you.
Well this is it for now...I will continue blogging about this week week when I get around to it.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Last week was busy. Scott worked the Memorial Tournament all week and the kids finished up school on Thursday, we had dress rehearsal, dance recital, gymnastics/meeting and Sunday my niece graduated from The Ohio State University College Of Dentistry as a Dental Hygienist. The dance recital was great and I have been dubbed "Teachers Pet" because I got to go in the back door of the venue and received a beautiful hanging basket. I'm okay with it, it's probably the nicest thing I have been called in a long time and I like flowers!
Saturday morning I took Olivia to gymnastics a little early because as it turns out, I had a board meeting. Okay, I hope you are sitting down. Are you? Alright, I have big news....I am now an official Member-at-Large on the CGA Amateur Athletics Board! Isn't that exciting? I am not really sure what it means other than I get to sit in on board meetings, vote and try to control my A.D.D. tendencies. Oh and collect money for summer ballet. If they knew how broke I was right now, they might reconsider letting me collect cash from anyone! (I feel since I put that out there I must state, I would NEVER steal money from anyone, let alone these hardworking girls). In thinking about the title, "Member-at-Large", I might ask to have my new found title changed to Speaker of the House. Lets be frank, shall we? The reason I am now in cahoots with the board is because I have a big ole mouth. Things have calmed down a bit since the old president stepped down and I am looking forward to the next possible drama.
On Sunday, I got myself and the girls up and ready for Jessica's graduation. I was only a mere five minutes late to my parents. All things considered, I give myself an A for punctuality. Yes, I gave myself an A because when I finally got there my Mom was still dilly dalling around in the house - hence we had to wait on her. I love how that worked out! It's like I was there ten minutes early.
Now, I can't even begin to tell you the joy I felt sitting in an auditorium full of graduating dentists and dental hygienists. One of my friends suggested I do some networking for future deals on dental work. Truly a great idea had I only thought of it beforehand. I could have made up business cards:
The Queen of Insanity
AKA: Dental Nightmare
Please call 555-1212 when
you need a little extra pro-bono
experience
Honestly, I was honored to be there to watch her walk across the stage and graduate from college. You go girl! Go out there and be a dental nazi! I will still love you.
Well this is it for now...I will continue blogging about this week week when I get around to it.
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
Friday, May 25, 2012
What Ever Has Our World Come To?
I am about to tell you what kind of horrible Mother I am. First I have to cut and paste a post from my girls' middle school PTO website, which I thought was simply supposed to be a place to exchange information about school activities. Apparently, I was wrong to assume this! It is obviously a place to vent about the bad behavior of parents, middle school clothing and whatever. Anyway, once you have read, I will comment.
The Post
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Another Day In Paradise
Last Monday I was sitting in a training class for my new part-time job at a local drug store, when I was struck with a throbbing pain in one of my molars. I knew right away exactly which tooth it was and that I was in for a dentist visit. I did my best to try and ignore it, hoping against hope the pain would subside. You know that didn't happen, right?
The next morning I woke in pain and decided to try the heating pad. The heating pad didn't do much of anything. By the end of the day, I looked like I was carrying around a hump back whale on my face. I made a dentist appointment for Thursday, however when I woke up Wednesday morning I knew there was no way possible to make it till Thursday. Off to the dentist I went and I am not going to bore you with the gory details - just know the trip ended up giving me minimal relief.
I quickly realized my soft toothbrush was not quite soft enough so I went and purchased an extra soft. It made all the difference! I think you are up to date on this situation.
Tonight's conversation with my soon to be five year old;
Sarah: MOM! I cleaned Lilly's (our dog) teeth!
Me: Oh yeah? With what?
Sarah: Water. Her teeth were very dirty!
Me: Just water?
Sarah: Yes and a toothbrush.
Me: Who's toothbrush Sarah?
Sarah: Oh the one you and daddy don't use.
Me: Hmmmm.....may be you should go get the toothbrush you used.
*Sarah leaves to get the toothbrush*
At this point I am thinking to myself, "I do have a toothbrush in my shower that I use to clean the tracks of the shower door. I am sure that's the one she used......yeah, that's the one"
*Sarah comes back with toothbrush*
Need I say more?
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
The next morning I woke in pain and decided to try the heating pad. The heating pad didn't do much of anything. By the end of the day, I looked like I was carrying around a hump back whale on my face. I made a dentist appointment for Thursday, however when I woke up Wednesday morning I knew there was no way possible to make it till Thursday. Off to the dentist I went and I am not going to bore you with the gory details - just know the trip ended up giving me minimal relief.
I quickly realized my soft toothbrush was not quite soft enough so I went and purchased an extra soft. It made all the difference! I think you are up to date on this situation.
Tonight's conversation with my soon to be five year old;
Sarah: MOM! I cleaned Lilly's (our dog) teeth!
Me: Oh yeah? With what?
Sarah: Water. Her teeth were very dirty!
Me: Just water?
Sarah: Yes and a toothbrush.
Me: Who's toothbrush Sarah?
Sarah: Oh the one you and daddy don't use.
Me: Hmmmm.....may be you should go get the toothbrush you used.
*Sarah leaves to get the toothbrush*
At this point I am thinking to myself, "I do have a toothbrush in my shower that I use to clean the tracks of the shower door. I am sure that's the one she used......yeah, that's the one"
*Sarah comes back with toothbrush*
Need I say more?
Sincerely,
The Queen of Insanity
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